Disclaimer: Wednesday: Rubberchicken and I (Wednesday, the most beautiful...on second thought probably not the most beautiful. mmmm? the most creepy? the most weird? suggestions? innyhoo. oh I forgot to end the parenthesise.) wait what was I talking about?
Rubberchicken: cheese. I don't know why are you asking me?
W: because you always seemed to have all the answers, little miss smarty-poo.
RC: isn't it supposed to be smarty-pants?
W: silence
RC: are you in a coma?
W: NO!
RC: we're supposed to be disclaiming, remember?
W: aaawwww. I was convincing myself that I owned the characters.
RC: why?
W: Sean told me too...
Fred: can you get on with the fic?
W: shut up, we own you!
F: but you're supposed to be disclaiming me.
W: NAW AW! stupidhead.
RC: oh yeah! andwe don't own Harry potter and all that...stuff.
F: tearfully I'm stuff.
The name of this chapter is, You forgot bacon
"Dude, pass it!" said George, a little too loudly.
"Shut up, I'm not done yet!" said Lee taking a long drag off of the 'peace pipe' in his hand.
"Lee, your hair looks like dookie!" said Fred, laughing so hard he barely got the words out. Angelina shrieked with laughter. Lee attempted to glare but only managed to look like he'd overdosed on u-no-poo, making Fred nearly wet himself. George began coughing and wheezing and at one point something that looked rather like tapioca flew from his mouth and landed on Lee's face. Angelina merely let out another shriek of laughter, fell to the floor, tears flowing freely from beneath her eyelids.
After Lee helped Angelina up they both crumpled onto the couch in a particularly interesting position. After removing Lee's hair from her mouth Angelina jumped up, her finger waving wildly in the air.
"OMELETTE!"
"Oh my god." said George, incredulously.
"Yes! Yes! oh my bloody hell, YES!" screamed Fred excitedly.
"I don't get it!" said Lee loudly, putting his arm up into the air just as Angelina had done.
"We'll need eggs!" yelled Angelina.
"And BACON!" said George, because it sounded like they went together.
"And mushrooms." said Fred, nodding to himself and thinking something completely different.
"For what? what do we need...?" said Lee, trailing off as realization hit him like a moss covered brick in the crotch. "EGGS!" he screamed. "I GET IT NOW!"
Fred ran to the refrigerator, franticly, nearly knocking Angelina back to the ground in the process. "NNNNNOOOOOO!" he screamed in anguish, falling to his knees. "We're out of sodding potatoes!"
"WE'RE GOING TO EGG A HOUSE!" screamed Lee. nobody paid attention.
"What do potatoes have to do with it?" asked George.
"Nothing. I just like the way they look." said Fred sadly, from the kitchen floor.
Angelina strode over to the fridge and wrenched it open, searching for eggs, bacon and mushrooms. "Damn it!" she said, slamming the door shut on Fred's head. he screamed in a mixture of pain and surprise.
"There's no bloody eggs! No bloody mushrooms! No bloody anything!"
"You forgot bacon." said George.
"We can't live without the sweet nectar of life that is OMELETTE!" cried Fred, recovering rather quickly from his concussion.
"I know!" said Lee. Everyone looked at him expectantly. "What?" he said.
"You know what? You said you know something. What do you know?"
"Well, I know lots of things..." he shrugged.
"Give it up, Angelina. I think he forgot already." said Fred.
"No! I want to know what...the capital of Iowa is."
"What were we talking about?" said George from underneath the couch.
"I've got the munchies. I'm kind of craving an omelette...for some reason." said Fred in reply to George's question.
"OH MY GOD!" screamed Lee, pointing out the window.
"WHAT!" yelled Fred and George.
"That pigeon just crapped on that guy's head!"
"Sweet! move over, let me see!" said Angelina incredulously. she laughed wheezily at the sight of the soiled man.
"HEY!" said Fred. "No wait...what was I going to say?"
"That Angelina's bootyliscious?" said Lee. Fred promptly pile drove him into the hardwood floor.
"Shut up! I was waiting for the right moment, asshole!" said Fred through gritted teeth, just loudly enough for everyone in Diagon alley to hear.
"You guys know I'm gay, right?" said Angelina, turning around to face Fred.
"I thought you would've changed your mind." said Fred, tears welling in his eyes.
"Wait." said Lee, suddenly realizing what the others were talking about. "You told me you were straight!" "Yes, but that's only because you had a hershey bar." rationalized Angelina.
"Ooooooooh. CHOCOLATE!" said George, excitedly. "Oh yeah, hi guys!"
"Why are you saying hi?" asked Fred.
"I just left and came back. And I have a movie!" said George holding up the dvd in his hand.
"No, I got that. You just found it under the couch." said Fred, as though explaining it to a small, slightly deaf, child.
"But I remember going to the movie store." said George, utterly confounded.
"I CHRISTEN THEE!" said Angelina, hitting Lee over the head, hard, with a copy of the amber spyglass. Lee crumpled to the ground, unconscious.
"Yeah. That was three days ago." said Fred. "Remember? We got night of the living dead and you looked into the mirror and yelled 'Fred, you've turned into a zombie!'"
"Hey guys?" said Angelina, a puzzled look on her face. "You don't own a VCR."
"Or a TV." said Lee taking another drag off of the pipe.
"What in the hell are you two talking about?" said George. "We used magic. And what the hell is a VRC?"
"Well," said Sean, getting off the couch and walking to the door. "It's been fun, but...I have other matters I have to tend to. Goodbye!" he waved and left.
"Who the fuck was that!" said Fred, pointing over his shoulder at the door as Sean closed it behind him.
"I dunno. I thought he was one of your friends." said Lee shrugging and hogging all of the twins' stash to himself that filthy, rotten...
"I think he was in Hufflepuff." said Angelina.
"He was at Hogwarts?" said George. "I never saw him." he blew a smoky phallus shaped cloud of smoke in the air. "Look," he said, giggling. "It's a--"
"George!" said Angelina.
"--Pickle." said George indignantly.
"Dude, let's just watch the movie." said someone in the back of Angelina's mind.
"Hey, guys! how about we just watch the movie?" said Angelina.
"That's what I just said." Said Lee, to whom she had addressed the comment.
"It's called Harold and Kumar go to White Castle." said Fred, addressing the box.
"Here," said Lee, pulling out a shiny new laptop, courtesy of Mrs. Jordan, from his book-bag. "Stick it in. it plays movies!" he said unnecessarily, with a large grin on his face.
one or two hours later, (during which time Lee said the phrase 'fuck you, raccoon!' nineteen to ninteen and a half times.) when the credits began to roll Angelina was suddenly struck with a wondrous idea.
"We should go to IHOP!"
A/N: if anybody runs into freakish muffin or chocolate freak tell them we severely respect them as authors…actually, we don't relly…but you could tell them that we nearly pissed ourselves laughing while reading their work!
RCOAW