You push me you pull me
You set my soul on fire
You take me so much higher
Higher again
Thank you for it all
12 Stones - Soulfire

Justin

I want you around for a long time.

Does that mean what I think it means? Is he even telling me the truth or is it all just a lie so he can get me to sleep with him? My heart wants to believe him but my mind has 'WARNING' flashing in bright neon red and I don't know if I can get past that warning. Then I think back to all the times that he's actually cared despite the fact that people have told me that he…can't. I've witnessed first hand that he can. I guess that's what changes my mind and I guess that's what makes me decided to let the gorgeous man fuck every sad feeling in my body out. To let him fuck me into total oblivion. My hands grip the slightly sharp edges of the counter and I grip tightly as his hips, oh god, ram straight into mine again.

His lips are soon on mine again, sucking, biting, licking all at once and it's almost too much to register – his hands traveling all over my chest, my hips and then a hand on my hard cock. God, I'm probably going to come in my pants if he doesn't remove it right now. I push his hand away and grip it tightly in mine; I pull my head away too, breath coming out hard. People would call me stupid if I told them that Brian Kinney's kisses were literally breathtaking. His eyes are heavily lidded with lust – I'm sure they mirror my own – as he stares down at me, obviously confused as to why I stopped everything from progressing. I lick my lips, eyes flicker from his eyes down to his own lips and then back up to his eyes – His beautiful eyes.

"Fuck me."

Confusion gone, Brian grabs the back of my neck and pulls me forward into another one of his breathtaking kisses.

Brian

He didn't even have to ask. I would've fucked him even if he told me not to. I wouldn't be able to stop now. That would be impossible. What with him looking so beautiful and fucking wanton pressed between my body and my kitchen counter. When he stopped me, when he removed my hand from his cock, I nearly died. I had thought that he was going to run away and leave me in another sexually charged mind set. I had been lucky enough to get rid of my hard on the last time we had gotten so hot and heavy but, this time, I doubted that I would've been able to get rid of it so easily. It was there and I knew it would be an ass and not go away until Justin did something about it. It was pathetic but…my cock needed, depended, on Justin.

"Oh, I will, Sunshine."

I can't hold off any longer. It had been too long a wait. I'm surprised that we hadn't fucked sooner. I roughly grasped the ends of his shirt and pulled it over his head. I threw it on the ground – I didn't care where it ended up. I didn't care if my loft became the messiest place in the building. I was finally getting what I wanted - Needed. Justin didn't respond – he was probably too busy realizing that he was bare chested and that my lips were now on his and that he needed to move. I don't know why I'm thinking like a stupid…lesbian – That seems to happen a lot with him around – but I can't help but think, maybe even realize, how perfect our lips…mesh together. I do my best to ignore the sparks of electricity that I feel.

That I shouldn't feel. That I don't remember feeling with anyone else before.

I slide my hands down his bare skin. He isn't exactly muscular, more like hard, flat and beautiful. I like him this way. He doesn't need muscles or even a tan to be perfect. He's probably one of the most perfect men I've ever had step into my loft. Next to me of course. I trail my fingers lightly across his porcelain skin, I can feel it quiver beneath the pads of my fingers and I realize he's ticklish, until they reach the hem of his cotton shorts. His thin cotton shorts. So thin. I can feel his already apparent hard on even better then I would have if he had been wearing jeans and, fuck, it makes me even harder. My fingers slide just slightly into his boxers, getting a good grip on the waistband.

Just in case he decides to change his mind about letting me fuck him, I savagely move my lips against his trying to distract him from my fingers pulling down the only thing keeping me from what I want to see. Score – though I'm sure he wouldn't have asked me to stop anyway. His shorts fall down to the floor and he moves to step out of them. I don't give him much room for moving around but he somehow kicks them away with my arms wrapped around him and my body pressing tightly against his without even a centimeter between our bodies. I feel his hands slide down my back, hands slide under my shirt and then back up my back, fingers kneading and nails lightly scraping. God – his hands are so gentle but rough at the same time.

If that's even possible. Somehow it is. With him.

My shirt is bunched up at my shoulders and I'm suddenly feeling overheated. I pull away but our hips remain connected as if glued together and I help him pull the cloth off of my chest and back. Again, I throw it on the floor along with Justin's lost and forgotten clothing. I snake my hand downwards, I don't know how I've kept my hand away from his dick this long but I can't any longer, until I reach his naked cock. That reminds me that I still need to rip my jeans off so I can fuck him senseless. He gasps into my mouth and, sadly, it almost makes me come in my pants. How long has it been since I've came from just the mere sound and feel of someone gasping into my mouth.

Never.

My fingers curl around his shaft and it begins the methodical pumping rhythm until he's gasping into my mouth and muttering words that are barely coherent. But I hear them all right. "Fuck me, Brian, oh, please fuck me." His hands are gripping into my shoulders, nails digging just slightly into my bare skin, and his back arches and his face nestles against my neck. His teeth reach out and nibble along my skin, tongue and lips soon following, every two seconds. The act goes straight to my cock. I won't be able to hold off much longer, and neither is Justin. A loud moan crosses against my neck as he comes in the palm of my hand. Before he can say a word, I spin him around so the front of his body is leaning over the kitchen counter. My hand holding Justin's come wraps around his waist and holds him against my body while my other hand pulls my jeans down. In a fraction of a second I have a bottle of lube in my hand.

I squeeze some lube onto my fingers; I press my chest against his slick back and bite into his shoulder. "Do you want me to fuck you?" The blonde, he's probably beyond speaking at the moment, nods his head, lips parted allowing heavy whimpers/gasps to pass through. It's hot, beyond hot, to watch. I watch his face closely as I slide one finger just slightly into his awaiting hole. The action offers me a moan, gasp and 'Oh, fuck, yes' from the blonde. His head tilts back whereas his body leans further over the counter. Again, I think he looks so fucking beautiful. God – before I know it I'll probably be asking him to marry me and to adopt fifty children and I'll go out and buy a huge home in the country.

I slide my next finger inside, muscles squeezing sweetly around my fingers. I don't know why I'm handling him so…carefully, like he's a virgin. I just…am. I know for a fact that he isn't. He can't be a virgin. Not with the way he had been acting that one-day on the couch. Still, I felt the need to treat him like one. Plus, in a way he is a virgin. With me he is and I did mean what I said to him about caring about him and wanting him around for a long time. I wanted to at least show him that I cared. He moans again and asks me to fuck him again. I tell him I will and I remove my fingers from his ass, I somehow get a condom on my dick without realizing it, and grab his hips with both hands. I position myself perfectly behind him and – he stops me.

A hand on mine and his eyes peering back at me.

I pray that he doesn't tell me to just…stop. I'll die. My cock will probably fall off it's so hard. "J-just, please, be…careful." The first thing that pops into my mind when he asks me to be careful is 'ETHAN' in big, huge, neon letters. Who knows what the bastard did to Justin when he wanted sex? Who knows what the bastard did to Justin when he wanted sex and Justin tried to tell him to back off? "I will." The very thought sent me into a million scenarios where I'm bashing the bastard's head off but I quickly blink them away, rest my forehead against the middle of Justin's back, and ease forward until my cock is slowly seeking refuge in Justin's perfect, tight ass. God, it's so tight. So good. Perfect.

Why is everything perfect with him?

"Oh…Brian…"

I tell myself not to say his name or even whisper it but it comes out anyway, what with him squeezing so tightly around my dick and taking me in so willingly. "Justin…fuck, you're so…tight." Plus, he looks so fucking wanton with his head tilted back in complete ecstasy, and his arms flexing to hold himself up, and his back arching against my chest – God, I hate him for being so fucking beautiful. I slide a hand up his tender side, skin quivering under my touch, until it comes up to reach into his hair. I curl my fingers into the golden strands, still damp from his shower, and pull his head back until it rest on my shoulder so I can press my lips against his swollen ones. I thrust my hips forward faster and faster with each penetrating blow until I'm buried so deep in his ass I don't think I'll ever be able to pull out. Not that I would even want to.

I press on until I'm hitting his prostate every thrust. ( "Brian, oh Brian, fuck." ) I want to make this good, perfect, for him. So he can see what he's been missing out on while he's been stuck with and bound to Ethan. I guess I also want to show him that I'm a totally different person then Ethan. "Brian, Brian, Brian, oh fuck, Brian." It comes out of his mouth as a chant and when ever he says my name his ass squeezes tightly around my cock and holds on as if on a ride and I'd be lying if I said Justin was just ok when it came to fucking. Soon, I was coming ( "You're so fucking, mmm, hot." ) and, only two seconds later, he was too while moaning out my name. He falls down on the counter and I go down with him, arms encircled around his waist tightly. Like I don't ever want to let go.

I'd also be lying if I said he wasn't the best fuck I'd ever had.

I slowly ease out of him, tie the condom up and throw it somewhere. I think it ends up in the sink. I can't be sure though. I stand up right, arms still around my waist and pulling him up with me. I don't want to stop touching him yet and, as I let the lesbian part of my mind speak up, I don't think I'll ever want to stop touching him. I don't think my lips want to stop touching him either and they prove this by trailing lightly across the back of his neck, my nose pushing through his damp hair. "Are you ok?" I don't mean to ask. Maybe I shouldn't have asked. I've already proved that I cared about him more then I should have for one day – then again maybe not. It'd probably take…forever to show him how much he deserves to be cared for. If it took forever – I was game.

His head tilts back onto my shoulder, his lips seeking mine. They seek quickly. "Yeah…I'm fine." His hand reaches up and his fingers curl into my hair and presses my lips against his again, milking me for as many kisses as he possible can. Like he thinks I'm going to disappear right before his eyes. I'm not surprised if that's how he thinks. Everyone knows I have a problem with…relationships. I kiss him harder, tongue ramming into his mouth with extra force. Just so he knows that I'm here. When he moans into my mouth the noise goes straight to my dick – no surprise there. Then I somehow manage to lead us both to my bed where I can fuck him so he's more comfortable. It's only when I'm positioned over his body, his legs wrapped firmly around my waist and fingers gripping into the sheets, does he stop me again.

"Did you mean what you said?"

I want you around for a long time.

I can only assume that's what he's talking about. I can also assume that he's asking me again because I've fucked him. For all he knew I could've just been saying that so I could get into his perfect ass. I nudge my nose against his, my tongue reaches out and strokes his perfect mouth – his lips are probably one of his best features – and look him straight in the eye. I try to ignore the throbbing of my dick as it waits for the plunge because I know this is important to him. Important to him because I know that he doesn't want to be used for my own amusement. "I…" ( Just fucking say it Kinney ) "I don't want anything to happen to you." I kiss him again, fast. "I want you around for a long time. Really."

He seems content with the answer, roughly presses his lips against mine, and my dick takes the plunge.

Justin

I wake up feeling…different.

It's probably because I'm naked and I haven't slept naked for…well – for a very long time. Then everything starts to fall into place, slowly but surely. It's like a movie is flashing across my eyes in slow motion. My body bending over Brian's kitchen counter, my head tilted back in complete ecstasy, and Brian moving in and out of me while kissing me on the back of my neck, on my mouth, everywhere. Then I'm in his bed, legs locked around his waist and he's deep inside me, muttering my name, telling me that he cares and wants me around for a long time. I don't think I've ever felt happier at someone's words.

I slowly open my eyes, they quickly shut again when the sunlight intrudes, and blink until I can see without the pain of my eyes burning. His arm is around my waist, one of his legs is draped over mine, and his head rests on the same pillow as mine does. I watch him and wonder. Think. I can't stop thinking about last night, I can't help but wonder if I made a mistake and I hope, more like pray, that I didn't make a mistake. I didn't want last night to be a mistake. It was probably the best night that I've had in a very, very, very long time. I don't know what I would do if everything he said to me was a lie – something he just…said without meaning. I told myself – I think I'm just trying to reassure my doubting self – that he did mean, that I could tell by the way his eyes looked down into mine.

I wonder if he'll kick me out. I blink up at the ceiling. Fuck, I hope not.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

I nearly jump out of my skin at the sound of his voice. If it was possible to jump out of your own skin I would be out of mine and all the way on the other side of the loft. How long had he been staring at me and watching me think? He chuckles, deep, sleepy sounding and beautiful, at my startled look. I shyly turn my head and look over at him. How do I reply to that? Am I supposed to tell him what's on my mind? He'd probably laugh at me and tell me that I'm an idiot. Like last night when he found me at the bar. His fingers start stroking my stomach. I don't even think he's aware that he's doing it but I like it. Although I'm extremely ticklish. I pull away, a squeal/gasp sliding out of my mouth and he laughs again.

Ok. So maybe he is aware of what he's doing.

"Not funny."

"I think it's funny that,"

He does it again, fingers moving into my side.

"You're so ticklish."

I pull away from him again and accidentally roll off the side of the bed with a loud thump. "Ow." I lie there for a moment and his head appears over the side of the bed, amused smirk on his face. "Are you ok?" My mind does a flashback to last night. He asked me that and I nearly died when he did. 'Cause he cared. Caredcaredcared. Brian Kinney cared about me. I blink up at him and prop myself up on my elbows. "Yes, no thanks to you." He rolls his eyes, grabs my upper arm and pulls me back up on the bed and on top of him, holding me firmly into place.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"So?"

He raised an eyebrow up at me and I raise my own back at him. He shoots me a cautious but questioning look. "Do you…regret last night?" My defense mode immediately kicks in and I narrow my eyes down at him. "Why? Do you?" Suddenly he rolls over and pins me down underneath his larger body, hands trapping my wrists above my head. I struggle slightly but stop when I realize that there's no use in struggling. He's not going to let go until he says what he has to say.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I wrack my brain for something to say.

"What do you think it means? You're…Brian Kinney. You can have anyone out there that you want. Someone who's more…"

Experienced? In tune with the whole sex thing? I don't know what to say. I don't want to be one of his…booty calls. I don't want him to be like…Ethan. Out every night. Finding something hotter and better then me. I don't it. I can tell by the look on his face that he knows what I'm thinking. I think he also knows that I don't say what I'm thinking because I don't want to sound like a pathetic loser who can't take getting dumped. Plus, I'm not one to complain. Even when it does come to physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. I keep, most of the time, my feelings about that to myself.

"What did I tell you last night?"

He's practically glaring at me. No, he is glaring at me. I don't answer and only shrug. He said so many things last night.

"Not all guys are like him. Especially me."

"I'm…s…sorry."

I know he hates it when I say I'm sorry. His hands grip my wrists tighter. I can tell he's slightly aggravated with the whole 'sorry' thing. "I told you to stop saying that." I tug my wrists slightly. "You're hurting me." He's not hurting me. Well, not that bad. The pressure of his grip is somewhat uncomfortable but not painful. His hands quickly loosen up and a look of…something flies across his face in the process. "Now answer my question." I raise an eyebrow as if I don't know what he's talking about. His face comes closer to mine. Despite the fact that neither of us have brushed our teeth this morning his breath still smells wonderful.

"Do you regret it?"

"Do you?"

"You first."

"No, you first."

He rolls his eyes down at me.

"You're so immature."

"You're so stubborn."

He nods in agreement. "I don't." I stare up at him. "Don't what." His face comes an inch closer. "Don't regret fucking you." I swallow. "Is that all it was?" He pauses as if he doesn't know how to answer the question. When he does answer he's slightly hesitant about it. "…No." I smile. "No." He looks down at me, confused. I can tell by the look on his face. I can feel his thumb begin to stroke the tender side of my wrist and I know he's not aware of what he's doing this time.

"No what?"

"No, I don't regret it."

I quickly bring our lips together none-too-gently. His hands release my wrists so I can bring my hands to the back of his head and neck, down his bare back and chest. I can't keep my hands from roaming over his Godly body. His hands seem to be in the same predicament, caressing my face, trailing down my chest, running over my hardening cock, grabbing at my ass, teasing the insides of my thighs, and tickling over my tender sides. I laugh into his mouth and he bites at my bottom lip in response. I arch up into him, cocks pleasantly touching, both enjoying the friction. Then suddenly I'm crying. I'm not crying because I'm sad, more like crying because I'm happy. Happy that I'm here right now. I finally feel…peaceful.

I think things are going to be all right.

I think Brian's going to make everything all right.

Author's Note: There will be a sequel. Like I can really end it there? Are you insane? I would be insane if I thought I could end it there. There's still Ethan to be dealt with. There's still Michael and his feelings to deal with. There's still…things to be dealt with here! Don't worry, tis not the end. It's only…the beginning. Corny music here Please review. I'm so happy that I've been getting to many FABULOUS reviews.