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Oh, The hell we raised

Chapter One: Assigning Rooms

I sat on a couch in the living room. My assorted new guests were either gathered, or seated somewhere with me. I was the first to speak. "Well, Seeing as you will all be my guests for a little while... Let's get a few things straight first shall we?" The few who had come from the other 'world' nodded, and watched me in interest. "First, No fighting." I stared at a young blonde-headed man, and then at a midnight black haired man whom were glaring at each other.. "Second, I'd prefer it if you ask me before resorting to any... 'obscure' methods." I, again, looked to the two and then at a person who looked like he was wearing a large suit of armor, but in fact WAS the suit of armor. ",and that is all i have to say for now... Shall we assign you to your rooms?" The group smiled at me... Most of them tired, and hungry from the lack of my hospitality since they had come upon this place. The short young man with braided blonde hair spoke first. "How many rooms d'ya have anyway?" He looked at me with a puzzled look on his face. I simply ran my hand through my own black, slightly curled, hair. "I have five rooms, Four for you, The master bedroom shall remain mine." The young man snapped his fingers as if he was wanting the beautiful room for himself. "I have the master bedroom, and a guest room on this floor... And i have three bedrooms upstairs..." The crowd, Which included 2 women, seemed to drown in these words. "I'm going to assign the Elric brothers to the room on this floor, Roy you may take the west-most room on the upper floor, Riza you shall take the north-most room on the upper floor, and Winry you shall take the east-most." They nodded in agreement... The young blonde headed man named Edward clutched his stomach, and grinned at me as it rumbled. "Ah, Hungry? I will go fix dinner then... I suggest you go to your rooms, and get used to them.. You may be staying awhile." They all nodded in agreement, and left for their rooms... Save for a certain young man whom was cursed to live in the armor. "Are you sure you don't mind all of us staying with you?" I simply cast a smile at him, and continued to walk to the kitchen of the Victorian-esque home. "Of course, If anything it is my honor to." He seemed to give a sigh of discontentment, and i simply shook my head. "Don't worry, Alphonse. I have more than enough provisions for four times your group." He chuckled slightly... I did'nt know why so i simply moved closer to the stove I had finally reached in the middle of our conversation. "Would you mind pulling out the ingredients for a stew...?" The young man nodded, and went to fetch the delicate ingredients...

Meanwhile, With Edward...

He settled onto the massive bed, and sighed in a pleasured contentment. "Wow, Maybe this won't be so bad." He voiced to himself in a gentle tone. "I wonder what we're having for dinner though.." He sniffed the air only to smell the scent of cleaners.. The room he was in had recently been cleaned by the man who really wase'nt much older than himself he now had to live with for now. He stood, and removed his crimson red cloak which bore the insignia of his master 'Izumi'. He walked over to the hanger, and draped it over an arm. Flexing his metal arm, and clapping his hands together... Only to remember the man's words, and stop before he completed the transmutation. "Close one." He ran his auto-mail hand over the braid of his hair, and fell back on the bed again... Waiting to be called to dinner.

Meanwhile, With Roy...

The man walked upstairs with Riza, and Winry behind him... Seemingly enjoying the idea of sleeping near two women before Riza delivered a swift punch on the top of the head. "Don't even think about it.." He rubbed the spot where he had been struck, and quickly retreated to his new room... "Wow, This place is nice." He had seen better, but the room was indeed very nice. Covered in oaken furniture which resembled english cultured. He removed his military vest, and sorted through the drawers of the armoire which stood in the corner... Simple casual clothing, but at least it was tasteful. He had to admit, The guy had taste..

Both of the women had retreated into their rooms, Mostly sorting through the already oddly determined items...

Back in the kitchen, I had finished the stew, and the varying side dishes... Edward had immediately caught the wind of pleasent smells, and literally tore through the house to get to the kitchen... Alphonse, and I laughed as he drooled in the doorway before I grabbed him by the arm... Setting him down at a chair, and calling out to the others. "Dinner is ready, Come on." Somewhere within a minute they had all settled into chairs around the large table, and began to eat... Some greedily, the others elegantly.. I simply grinned, and took my own plate to the living room... Alphonse had followed me, and settled unto his bottom nearby. I ate as we both watched a native-american comedian crack random jokes about women, and sex... We had both burst into laughter throughout the program. Edward had joined us near the end, and was layed out on an opposite couch... Complaining that his ribs were broken from laughter, and his stomach being oversized... I smiled at the poor man, and returned to the kitchen... Watching as the three who remained chated among themselves as i put my plate inside the sink. The older woman, whom was also blonde, looked at me with a puzzled look in her eyes. "We have'nt even gone through introductions yet, Though you know our names, What is yours..?" I smiled at them, and proceeded to walk out. "Alexander." I did'nt see if they said, or did anything... I had left the kitchen afterwards. I returned to the den to catch Ed being launched towards me by Alphonse.. For what reason, I did'nt know.. I caught the young man with a fall as I groaned in surprise. Edward had landed with his face in my crotch (Much to my fright.), and had quickly lept away to lay back on the couch... I gagged, and simply sat in the recliner next to the door. "Never to speak of." Edward nodded with a scared look in his eyes. Alphonse just fell over with laughter. A few minutes later, the other three had joined us, and proceeded to laugh with us as a female comic began to go on about sex (Quite an interesting topic among comedians i must say.) Edward, and Winry cuddled on a far couch while Roy proceeded to flirt, and be beaten by Riza... Alphonse had been the smart one, and sat on an opposite recliner as we both focused on the show... Almost dying of laughter several times.

Two hours passed...

It had become late.. Edward, and Winry had left together to the brothers' room.. I was assuming that they were cuddling, or had proceeded to have intercourse.. Either was fine with me though, Lovers in the house did indeed bring some interesting topics to the dinner table. Roy had left to his room to catch some sleep before his head was completely smacked off by Riza, whom had retreated to the dining room to look through some of the bookshelves I had placed there for some dinner entertainment. Alphonse, and I had agreed on a stroll around the house to ease my own stomach... He had little else to do... Though, Little did i know the goings on in the brothers' room... Though, Later it had indeed become clear that they had slept together...

That night, I had slept rather well...