Author's Note: Being the great, GUY, I am.. Alot of humor is going to be put into this chapter, and quite a little bit of raunchy, yet extremely funny antics... But of course, There has to be quite a bit of raunchy behavoir, for the antics to happen.

Disclaimer: I'm not going to say it again after this chapter. I do not own FMA, nor do i make any money off of the fictions i write about it.

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Oh, The hell we raised!

Chapter Two: Then, They went down...

I woke up as usual, Around the crack of dawn, and busied myself with becoming decent... I have almost always slept in the nude. Why? I'm just comfortable like that, I guess. Either way, I slid into the bathroom to take my morning shower, and quickly got dressed. A leather shirt with a pair of black slacks. Don't ask me why, I just felt like wearing black today. I ran the comb through my hair a few times to straighten the most obviously horrid bed-hair I had woken with. After which, I rushed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for my new guests... Only to find three of them awake... Edward, Winry, and Alphonse (Though, Alphonse never sleeps so i'm not too surprised with this.) I glanced at them, and took a step in.. Only to be smacked with a wrench. "Ahh! Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" I had to say... That did'nt feel too good.

Edward quickly helped me up, and I had to hold myself back from scolding Winry... Why she'd struck me? Hell, If I knew... All i know now, is if it happens again.. I'm not going to be very receptive. "Just don't do it again... Now, What are you two doing up?" Alphonse quickly busied himself over the sink to keep from catching the idiotic, yet plausable, arguement. "What are we doing up? What are you doing up?" Edward growled. I managed to stare at him, Dumbfounded. "This is my house... and I always wake up early.." Winry smacked Edward with her wrench, which reminds me.. Where the hell did she FIND the wrench anyway, and He quickly fell to the ground in pain... I stared at Winry, and proceeded to go over to the oven.. Placing some dough inside to make, in my opinion the best, doughnuts in the area... Doughnuts were my usual morning snack. Edward quickly jumped back to his feet as he breathed in the scent of the heating... Looking rather unhurt, for being struck with a wrench upside the head, and obviously was pretty hungry... "They will be a little while, Why don't you wake the others?" Alphonse stayed in the kitchen while the other two dutifully obeyed. "Alphonse, Would you mind going to the pantry to get the glazing sugar?" He stood there a second before I had realized my own mistake... "It's the small room off the side of the dining room." Alphonse complied by walking off towards the dining room... I sighed, and simply removed the now cooked dough from the oven.. Placing several doughnut shapes near the frier, and waiting for Alphonse's return... The first one to come in, though, was Roy Mustang, whom also basked in the scent of ready to bake doughnuts... Alphonse came in shortly after, and I pushed Roy out of the way before he would eat the not-prepared dough.. I covered the doughnuts in the sugar, and put them inside the frier... I glanced at Roy, and then at Alphonse. "Is Miss Hawkeye up?" This question was directed at the Colonel, Who replied with a shake of his head. "Apparantly, She wase'nt in her room." I stared at him before remembering where she had finished her evening... On a couch in the living room, with one of the books on my bookcase... Whether it was one of mine, or not though.. I did'nt know.. I glanced at Alphonse before briskly walking to the living room. "Watch the doughnuts, Alphonse." He nodded, and proceeded to make sure the doughnuts did not overcook. I looked about, and finally saw a figure laying on one of the couches in the darkness.. I sighed, and shook my head as I walked over. Noticing that she had, indeed, been reading one of my books... Though, It was unfinished... I placed my hand on her shoulder, and shook her... She groggily pushed my hand away. "Miss Hawkeye, It's time to wake up." Again, All i recieved was a tired push away... I knelt at her side, and placed my hand on her head.. Checking to make sure she was'nt ill. Unfortunately, though, What i recieved was her lips over mine... She had turned over in her sleep, and in turn, kissed me... I immediately went a deep shade of red, and fell over backwards... Almost hitting my head on the oak coffee table. She, too, had basically fallen off of the couch with the contact... Again, To my misfortune, She fell on top of me. Spread eagle, and in a very comprimising position... My eyes, basically, went white. She turned a beet shade of red, and quickly got off of me... We both apologized to each other several times before walking quickly into the kitchen.. The doughnuts were now placed on a large platter in the middle of the table. Where Edward was currently blowing, like a typhoon, through the amount of O shaped baked goods.

Breakfast had gone by rather fast... Though, The apparant hormones eminating from Winry, and Edward indeed blew me off... I could smell the musk of sweat, and intimacy on them both.. Very faintly, but I could... They obviously had taken a bath together, and had not really cleaned up much. I was rather amazed that they were so intimate despite their age.. ,but, Of course, that is what young love is about... Intimacy, and Passion... Unfortunately for myself, I had never been loved by the women I had crushed upon. Rather destroying, It was. What was wrong with me, I did'nt know. I'm a quiet gentleman, but I was, in my own right, wild. I had remained a virgin through my college years, and much into the current day. Love was, indeed, very fickle. Though, Honestly, It did'nt bother me at all that I had yet to have intercourse... I knew my way around it, and I was nowhere near a novice... Though, I had never experienced the act firsthand. 'Why am I thinking about that anyway? It must be those two...' I thought to myself. Either way, Everyone had retired to the dining room, or the living room. I, by myself, had sat on the porch swing. I much preferred the gentle breeze of nature to the feeble comparance of modern technology.. Though, I could'nt live without either. I had brought my writing materials, and had proceeded to scribble down lyrics for another song... I had yet to have a license deal, or anything for my writing.. It was purely fun, and I was happy with that... The music I wrote, The stories I wrote, and the tales i wove... They were mine, and mine alone.

The silence of the front porch died quickly though. Out of the air came sudden screams, and moans. My eyes drifted towards the sky, and closed as i tried to focus on where they came from... It was coming from the upper floor? 'I thought everyone had proceeded to watch television, or read a book..' Though, I remembered now that Riza, and Winry had both retired to their rooms supposedly... The images of female a la female intimacy blasted into my mind as my erection heightened... I tried to ignore it, but was only cursed with more feminine groaning... To my luck, Everyone else was probably listening to an overly-loud television... I had no choice, but to retreat to the upstairs to find out what was going on... I knew I would be struck for it, but... Oh, Who am i kidding? I was as horny as a first-timer to a pornography convention! I walked quietly, yet quickly, to the staircase and ascended... Listening again to hear murmured whispers, and moans. They came from the Lieutenants room. 'I'm going to hate myself for being this stupid...' Was what came to mind before I opened the door to find the two in 69 position... My face could have been seen in the darkest hour of the night right then, and there. They both stared at me in shock before i had quickly retreated... A moment of glory, and idiocy. Though, My erection was saying something much, MUCH, different. The two women walked out of the room, still noticeably naked, and I braced myself for what was truely going to be the beating of a lifetime. What came, though, was the exact opposite. They dragged me into the room, and basically tore my clothing from my form.

To say the least, I was surprised... They giggled, and noticed how serious my blush had become... If i got any redder, A farmer would mistake me for a tomato. The younger blonde whispered to her compatriot, and giggled as i simply sat there dumbstruck... Riza forced herself unto my face. "Lick me." She commanded, and My erection (All rational thought at this moment had completely derailed.) complied with great eagerness. Winry settled herself unto it as I began to probe my tongue into Riza's wonderful tasting slit. The younger blonde moaned in delight as she took me all the way in, a sound I replied graciously with into Riza's cunt.. She began to ride me as I lapped at the woman's tunnel...

Then, I startled awake. My penis throbbing from the dream I had had once falling asleep upon the swing... I stood up, in both ways, and face-palmed for waking up at the good moment... I walked inside, much to my embarrasment as almost everyone noticed my difficulty and the reason why i was having said difficulty walking, and immediately went to my room... Settling unto the bed, and removing my shirt.. Sweat had come to my body in the nap.. I stood in front of the air conditioner, and let the cooling wind flow over my slightly toned body... I heard a noise much like a small laugh nearby, and turned around to see no one... I scratched my head in confusion, and turned back to the window, in which, The air conditioner was stuck... Little did i expect what happened next... I felt hands grasp at my arms, and throw me unto the bed.. I had little time to react, and was pinned down to the bed. I struggled, and tried to make out my 'attacker' before having a hand placed over my mouth to keep me from making any noise...

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Author's Note: Cliffhanger! Who is the mysterious 'attacker', and what is he/she intent on doing? Find out next chapter!

Please, Read, and Review!