Title: The weight we all carry…

Thanks to Esa a.k.a. Hallon forediting this chapter…you're gold.

Ps: does anyone know if I replace previous chapters with edited versions, will I loose all my reviews, I know I'm vain, but I am okay with it………………really.

A/N: sorry for such a long time with no update, but life doth get in the way. Anyway, I tried, but I also have some personal problems that has had large effect on my life, and everything in it. I hope to come to some kind of resolution soon, but you know what they say about hopes…or was it wishes; well anyway I wont be boring you with the details that you are probably not interested in anyway. So here is the new chapter, I know it like the other chapters is kind of short, and I originally planned to make it longer, but the scene with L and K wasn't planned it just sort of been spontaneously created and I felt that it was the right place to end the chapter.

Here I included a poem that I wrote a few days ago. I loaded it onto the ff(dot)net website, but I thought I would add it to this chapter. I would like to get your feedback on it, and if you could please tell me what I need to work on, what works, what doesn't and if I should never try to write a poem because this poem is just so awful or if I just need practice.

Bleeding Heart.

My heart is bleeding – and it doesn't stop.

All night and day there is no end in sight.

With each new blow, all it does is just bleed some more.

Drop after Drop, tear after tear, drip after drip is what I constantly feel.

I'm crying out, but there is nobody here.

It's getting darker, "somebody…please"

There is no hope left – I feel the end is near.

And my heart, hopeless as ever –

Still hurts, but I can't find in me to care.

Luke and Rory entered the waiting room, where they stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do, how to act. For Luke, it was the fact that he never showed emotions. He was the gruff diner man, who hated Taylor. He never told Jess he cared in simple words or in obvious actions. He did it in his own way. Like) yell at him to get to work. Or because he did some prank on Taylor , which Luke didn't really want to yell at him for, but knew he had to because doing pranks wasn't on the list of right things to do. He showed Jess he cared by pushing him into the lake, granted it was in his own weird way, but still --he cared. He showed he cared when Jess asked to move back. Luke knew he would take him in from the beginning; there was no question about that. However; suddenly there was the question of whether Jess knew that he cared. Damn boy, Luke thought, he would move mountains for his nephew. Jess was his family, and not just the kind that was made of blood but also the kind that was made of people he cared about, people who were in his heart. Jess had to wake up – he had no other option. Luke couldn't, wouldn't, allow him any other option.

For Rory it was the fact that for better or worse, she and Jess were in a hostile sort of relationship. They weren't friends anymore, and they weren't anything more, not by a long shot. She didn't know how she was supposed to feel about that , about this situation, about him, or anything else that had to do with him. But damn him, damn him for making her care and damn him for showing her what she didn't have, with Dean, with Lane, or with anyone in her life. That feeling, that was so hard to describe, was only present when Jess was around. That easy compatibility, where they could sit in comfortable silence, without awkwardness, or talk and argue about books. Or the fact that he was the only person who knew more about books than she did. He challenged her, the way no one else did, the way no one else could. And he supported and incorreged her in his own weird way, like (he said) when she told him she wanted to be Christine Ampure. He said that he would drive straight at her and scream in a foreign language. Or the way he made her feel when they kissed.

Jess was just laying there quitly in the hospital room, lying in the white hospital gown that he would definitely hate, and if seen on anybody else; mock. It was unnatural; the way Jess looked; he wasn't Jess. The quiet body that was in the bed wasn't Jess. He was quiet, but he wasn't submissive. When he was in the room you knew he was there, you felt his presence. It was…is quiet, but powerful, you couldnt miss it. But unlike with some people it didn't invite you to be friendly, and it wasn't warm. It was…is intriguing, and dangerous; his aura lets you know that he isn't a person you would want to mess with… His presence is just one of those indescribable phenomena of the world. It was simply Jess; and if a person ever met Jess they knew what it meant. He didn't fit any stereotype. He was original, and at time seemed like a bad cliché, like a James Dean wannabe or the bad boy who really was just misunderstood. It may look like he was all that, but he wasn't. He was just…him.

This person, however, this person that was lying in the bed, wasn't Jess. He was anybody but him. Rory understood that he was just sleeping and it was just a matter of time till he would wake up, but a lot of times heart and mind do not work in sync. Her mind understood that he would wake up when he was ready, and knowing Jess he would do it in his own good time, simply because he was Jess and he had to annoy, or more correctly drive up the wall, to the people around him. Her heart was a different story. It knew no reason, or logic; it wouldn't accept the fact that Jess would wake up. It just knew that he had to wake up, because… Because it cared...at times too much…and maybe it shouldn't, but the heart knows no rules or reason, it is its own master. And maybe, just maybe, caring for Jess wasn't such a bad thing…maybe it was just the opposite…maybe it was a good thing.

But once again, it is the fact of heart vs. mind; sometimes the heart is right, and somewhere in your soul and in your mind you realize that, you just need time, time to truly realize and accept it. Until that time there was and is denial, cause it ain't just a river in Egypt.

Rory was brought from her thoughts when Lorelai , who came in some time during their visit, cleared her throat.

Lorelai gave her daughter a sympazetic glance and said, "If you guys are done, the others want to visit Jess too."

Luke gave an almost invisible nod, and walked out of the room, leaving Lorelai and Rory alone.

"Are you going to be okay babe?"

"I don't know mom, I really and truly don't."

"Well you're smart, you'll figure it out. Besides, we are Gilmore's , we can make it through almost anything."

Rory gave an appreciative glance towards her mother and best friend …and said, "We better go, I'm sure Jess' friends want to see him as soon as possible too.

Lorelai gave an agreeing nod, and followed her daughter out of the door after one last glance at the boy lying in the hospital bed.

Angel, Katy, Dally, Darry and Chris all came into Jess' room at the same time. The atmosphere was somber. No one said anything, there was nothing to say. They all knew the seriousness of the situation…and they all knew Jess; combine the the two and you treat on dangerous ground. Katy was treasure for Jess, and anyone who dared to hurt or mistreat her in any way had to be afraid, very afraid. When it came to Katy, Jess didn't care about anything, except her, and now…now they could only guess what his reaction…or actions would be.

Katy moved toward the bed, but hesitated before reaching it, and Jess. She didn't know how to act, or how to feel, and the freaky hormones weren't helping, just the opposite. She loved Jess, more than anyone on the planet, but he was overprotective , more than overprotective , and sometimes this overprotiveness led to problems like being sent to Stars Hollow in the first place.

However, that didn't mean that she would ever trade him in for anything in the world. He was her family, her best friend, her everything. Through the years they had three major fights; not the stupid kind, where you make up a day later, but the serious kind, with serious issues.

The first one was when Jess had his first girlfriend, when he was thirteen going on fourteen. The second one was when she had her first boyfriend, which was linked to the first time Jess was sent to Stars Hollow. And the third was when Jess came back from Stars Hollow and left New York for the second time.

After each of these fights, Katy realized just how important Jess was to her life. Since their last fight, their relationship was on shaky ground. They eventually made up during the summer, on one of the days that Jess came to visit, but the issue of their fight was still raw and like a huge canyon between them.

Katy knew that she would never be able to live with herself if Jess got seriously hurt because of her. The knowledge that she was the cause and the guilt of it would kill her, slowly and painfully. It would eat her away from within.

He had to wake up. There were no buts allowed.

Overwhelmed with so many emotions, and so many possible scenarios running through her head, she couldn't stay there. She couldn't look at him knowing it was her fault that he was in the hospital in the first place, knowing that when he woke up he may not want to see her, or worse, she would have to see the disappointment in his eyes, disappointment with her.

She ran as fast as she could. She wanted to run as fast as she could, to whatever place her feet would carry her. All she knew was that she had to get out.

She would have followed through with her plan, had she not run straight into Lorelai.

Lorelai saw the tears in the girl's eyes, and she truly felt for her. She could see something in her eyes that made her somehow remember herself at that age, but for the life of her she couldn't figure out what it was. Maybe it was that hopeless, desperate look (in her eyes) or maybe it was something else.

Whatever it was, Loralai couldn't let the girl go in the state that she was, no matter what. It was the mother in her, it was the knowledge of how hard life was at that age, especially if you were alone, in the sence that no one understood you, or would accept who you are, not who they want you to be.

"Hey, hey, hold on, what's wrong, why are you running? " asked Lorelai.

Katy looked at the woman that stood between her and her destination, whatever it would be. She would have continued on too, but she had no strength. It felt as if everything that had been weighing down on her since the day she found out she was pregnant was suddenly too much to bear .

She broke down.

Loralai looked at the sobbing girl in her arms and knew that whatever it was she would try to help this girl through it. Everybody needed help, including this girl. She herself had needed help once upon a time when she was just a kid, with a kid of her own. If not for Mia and the people of Stars Hollow and their help she didn't know what she would have done, or what would have become of her or Rory.

She led the girl to a secluded corner, with a sofa, and tried to comfort her.

"Hush now, everything will be all right."

Katy looked up at Lorelai with tear stained eyes, filled with regret and acceptance. She shook her head with disappointment. "No, it wont, nothing will be all right." And the tears continued to silently make tracks down her pale face.

Thanks to all of you who reviewed:

Lonnie--- I am glad you aren't koo koo in the head also. Lol. Glad you like the story. Thanks for the review.

music4mysoul--- well here is continuation….sorry I couldn't deliver the soon part. Thanks for the review.

Summer--- Bloody thanks for the review. Lol. I miss Spike, but not with Buffy, just his character, lol. Not that this has any relevance to the story, but still…… I am glad you love the story, thanks for the review.

Literati Lover--- glad you love the story, thanks for the review.

Emie --- Ain't that right. Thanks for the review.

Mony19 --- Thanks for the review, and I hope you will continue to like it.

Smile1 --- thanks for the review and the compliment, it means a lot especially since you have been with the story from the first attempt.

LovinMiloLexy! --- Thanks for the review. I am always glad to get reviews from new readers. Just so you know I love Milo, I love Jess, make your own conclusions. Lol. Hope you enjoyed the update.

Thanks to Live4Jess13, lilyLOVESwb, Hallon, Elayna Fournier for adding the story to their favorites list.

Thanks to Tears4Chris, PeanutButterRocks, Shauna3, Hallon, Dannigurl, Literati Lover, Mony19, Kylie1403 for adding the story to their alert list.

Thanks to Ace24, angelsgal, bedford-girl, BuffyANGELforeva, Devileyes, eveningfaerie, Hallon, Illyria1, IncFinger, LyssasPen, michelle23, patgilmoregirl, Shakala for adding me to their author alert list.

Ciao readers, till next time, which won't be until after my birthday which is on August 4. don't forget to review, for my birthday gift. Lol.