AN dedicated to Pam , who was, is, and always will be THE number one Viaresu fangirl (and about ½ of the reviews to this story). Couldn't have done it without you, Sweetheart. You are my inspiration. Yes, I did get your letter (after only about a year and a half of waiting)… did you get mine?
The mist… golden like the sun of faraway places, the eyes of a tiger, of Viaresu… the mist has been my constant, and only, companion these many months… years? Days? Who knows? There is no Time here, there is only mist. Always golden, always moving, never parting. Until now.
I've waited for this moment all the time I've been here. I've floated in the mist, dreaming of the places I might be now. Distant places I could never have seen when alive, whole new worlds, even. Maybe I'm not in a place, maybe I'm existing in someone's memory. His memory. Who else would remember me? That would explain why my entire existence is this mist, this gilded haze surrounding me, swallowing me, becoming me.
But now I see the mist parting before me. I look down, down through the mist and the years and Death itself, eager for a glimpse of my new life…
The demon castle.
I swear.
Even in death I am chained to it, that cursed place that consumed my life. I had thought I might be free in death if nothing else, but I am not. Before I fall willingly into the roiling bitterness waiting to embrace me, I hear a voice. No. I remember a voice. "I love you," he'd said. I love you… that's why I'm here. Hugging myself in my mist, repeating his words through my tears, I fall towards the castle, realizing that no longer does demon magic bind me here. It's love. His love, and my love. That's what holds me here now.
And then I laugh, still through my tears. For I get one of my wishes, at least. I may not be free, but I can still watch him. That's all I have left now… I can watch him. At least I've had plenty of practice. There- the castle. Nadil's tower reaches me first. Curious, I stop by the window, then enter it. The lord is not there, but the room is not empty. She is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, as beautiful as Viaresu himself. She looks like a doll, but I know she is not. I can see through that spell, and the spell changing her appearance. I see the real her, and I see that she is beautiful. And I know I must have her for my Viaresu. I know she is the woman for him.
Maybe it's the sudden clench of my heart at the thought of Viaresu loving someone else, but I seem to feel his presence. Viaresu… he is under the window. I see his hair, his hand. He's looking at his hand, the hand I gave to him. He's looking at it just as I did. I hear his thoughts… he remembers my wishes. He knows I wish him to be free of the castle, and he knows he has failed there- so far. I remember my other wish, for him to find a woman worthy of his love. There I can help him. Though I feel the mist start to take me again, and all I want to do is watch him, see him for what may be the last time, I turn from the window.
It is simple to walk to the doll and take hold of her. It is the hardest thing I have ever done in all my life, and my death, to carry her to the window. It takes all my strength, even my body. As I finally reach the window, I am mostly mist. With the last ounce of my power, and all the will of my love, I push the doll out into the air. My hand turns to mist as I push. I lean through the window to watch him find her, this last message of my love, but all is mist once more.
Now, I can bear this golden oblivion. I have had all my wishes granted. I know she will be the one to pull him from Nadil's grasp. I don't know how, but she will. And she will love him as I do. I am content.