Disclaimer – Prologue
I'm so awesome at updating I can hardly help it. But really, clearly I'm not good at balancing my school work, social life, and working on both my original story and this fanfiction. I'm going to have to work on that, heh.
I had some trouble trying to get across what I wanted to get across at some parts, sorry if some of it is rather… messed up, heh.
Pardon Me by Incubus
Pardon me while I burst into flames
I've had enough of the world and its people's mindless games
So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame
Pardon me, pardon me. They'll never be the same
Chapter 6 – Misinterpreted Meanings
"What do you mean they're not dead?" shouted a voice, his jade eyes alit in an emerald fire, and they both backed away a few paces.
"It's not our fault, it wasn't our job to take care of them. So, you know, stop freaking out at us," said Marissa, forced smile occupying her face while she stared at Hector, his muscles knotted over in sheer frustration.
"Shut up, Marissa. Where is Sally?" he growled, fiery gaze burning into her face.
"Outside the room," she replied, hands on her hips. Her lips curled into a pout, and she was offended by the demand to stop talking.
"Well stop staring at me like an idiot, with that blank look, and go get her. God, must I draw everything out for you in crayon?" he asked, and Marissa twitched, but said nothing in fear of his wrath.
She walked over to the door, pulled it open, and poked her head out, calling for the redheaded woman. Taber didn't bother to turn around and watch her, he just stared at the disgruntled Hector, the control of his temper shattered into millions of pieces, and the anger ablaze. An uncontrollable wildfire. That temper of his would be his downfall, Taber knew it, he had seen it so many times during his life… his first life, that is, if this even counted as a second life.
He was more like a prisoner in this body, a caged soul, boxed in by walls of bones and flesh. His heart beat, he slept, he ate, he breathed, but he wasn't exact what he considered to be living. He had stolen this body in hopes that he could relive his life, and also so he could escape the darkness and the cold that he had resided in outside the Lifestream when he was forced out. Outside of the Lifestream was like being trapped in a sort of Limbo, you were neither truly living, nor were you truly dead. You just were. A figure suspended in a cold, dark land, and you were alone. You could see others, half-dead and alive alike, but you couldn't speak, you couldn't remember how. So you wandered, and prayed to find an escape.
Escape from that cold wasteland was overtaking another's body. With a body, you could live… but to get a body you had to kick out someone's soul. One body can't harbour two souls, so you had to be the stronger being.
So he had taken a body, in hopes for his new life, for a better life than the first one he'd had. He hadn't expected this to happen, to become a prisoner to this body… to this man. Everything he did now, every horrible thing he was doing was not even of his own free will anymore.
He could kill himself, right? He couldn't go to Lifestream, it wasn't suitable now. He would feel life around him, feel real bodies as they moved, lived life the way he feared he'd never be able to again, but that didn't mean he had to steal a body away. But, he doubted that Hector would allow him to just kill himself and let his soul wander around like an idiot, he was too valuable to him now. He had proven himself worthy, and Hector wasn't going to give up that kind of skill for anything. Hector controlled him now, so whatever he wanted, he had to do. He was a slave to his will.
A slave. He never thought he'd end up in that position, but here he was. It infuriated him, but he had… no choice. He had no choice in the world. His freedom had been stolen without a second thought.
He honestly just wanted to go back to Lifestream, it had forgiven him for everything he had done wrong, as surprising as it was. It was warm there, he had been safe. It was only after he'd been sent to Lifestream that he realised how much he had truly messed everything up in his life. He had promised to himself that he would never do anything like that again.
That promise had been instantly shattered the moment he stole a body and was summoned by Hector.
He disbanded the pitiful angst he was feeling when heard another set of feet walk into the room, and he peaked over his shoulder to be struck with the sight of vibrant red hair. It was so bright, almost unnatural, and he looked away, finding an immediate distaste to it.
"How in god's name did you screw it up? It wasn't ever a hard job," muttered Hector, staring daggers into the woman's fair face.
"Yeah, yeah, bullshit. If it was easy, you'd have done it yourself. You know damn well that when you pretty much force me to kill someone that I get a sort of bloodlust. It's hard to rationalize and plan things out when you're like that, dammit," she snapped, her temper already fired up, and Hector rolled his eyes.
"Don't be snappy with me wench. Perhaps I underestimated them, and they need a person with a higher skill to get rid of them. There's also the matter of Chaos, the ninja, and the other beast. Taber, you attend to them, don't kill either Chaos or the ninja, I don't particularly care what you do with Hojo's other experiment, the red beast, but bring the other two to me alive."
"Fine," replied Taber, his voice stripped of all and every emotion.
"Marissa, you take care of the swordsman and the femme fighter, be sure that they're dead. We don't want them getting away like last time," he said, and glared at the redhead coolly.
Both Taber and Marissa left without another word, slipping out the room, and closing the door without making a noise. Hector sighed and took a seat on his obsidian padded chair, and let himself become overtaken in thought. There was a silence for a while, before the redhead spoke, shattering the silence, and jolting Hector back into his proper mind.
Sally ignored the look. "What about the other group? The pilot, and the—"
"Someone's already on it, and I'm sure they're more dependable than you," he snapped, and Sally gritted her teeth with annoyance.
"One little mishap, and suddenly I'm treated like the village idiot. Everyone makes mistakes—" she was cut off again.
"You don't seem to understand Sally, we can't afford any mistakes. Stop your ignorant babbling, and get out. I need to think."
She sent him a look filled with the utmost distaste and absolute hatred, though he didn't seem to catch it. If he did, whatever he may have been feeling about it never betrayed the neutral expression planted on his face. She didn't dare stay any longer, and she exited the room, leaving the distraught man to his own jumbled and toxic thoughts.
She still slept. It had been… hours. She looked almost in a comatose state, and, well, he didn't know what to do about it. He couldn't force her to regain consciousness, although he wished he could.
Vincent sat down on the ground next to the bed, on the opposite side of the one that Red was lying on. He glanced upward out the window, and watched the sky, painted with clashing colours, dark blue, violet, hot pink. Dawn had finally broken through, the sun slipping over the horizon, and dousing anything exposed in its golden rays. He had sat there all night, watching, waiting, as had Red. They were both worried about the state of their friend, but they never once discussed it, in fact, no conversation at all had developed during the long hours of waiting. The gunslinger was never one for conversation anyway.
He let himself relax against the wall, coming to conclusion that when she woke up he'd know it without having to watch her like a hawk. He closed his eyes, though he had no intent to go to sleep, and he let his mind roam. He felt Chaos wander around inside him, his presence much more noticeable than any of the other demons that resided inside his head. He hadn't spoken much in past few months, and though Vincent wondered, he didn't ask the creature about it. Why jinx it? If he was lucky Chaos would stop talking for the rest of eternity. Besides, it was rare that he ever said anything useful. Usually all he did was provoke him, taunt him, and force certain hurtful memories to return. Particularly memories of his dear Lucrecia.
Lucrecia.
He hadn't thought of her through out the past few days, which was a change from when her memory persisted him, and forced him to remember her every damned day. He tried to avoid it like the plague, though avoiding rarely worked. He didn't particularly like remembering his past, but it was a funny thing, she was both the worst and the best part of it. The worst, and the best, it contradicted itself, but it was more true than he cared to admit.
She… never loved him. He loved her with all his heart, but it was never requited, not really. Some say that you can't truly fall in love with someone unless they at least somewhat feel the same thing for you. He proved that theory wrong, because never, not once, had she spoken those words, or even suggested them. They were close friends, he supposed, and though he wanted more, she wasn't willing to give it.
She loved Hojo, and only him. He saw them together that day, when he was still a Turk, when he was still normal, still human, and still held somewhat of a life. He had almost wished that he had never seen them, because ignorance truly was bliss. That was a stupid thing to wish, because at least now he knew that truth, and knew that she could never love him.
He loved her, and at first he was angry, as well as depressed, but those emotions faded away when he came to the conclusion that she was happy. As long as she was happy, he didn't mind, because her happiness was all he wanted, even if it wasn't with him.
It could have never been with him.
He looked down at his hand and claw, limp atop his lap. Why did her memories always suck him in? They hurt so much. He still cared about her, even after all this time. Would he be able to let her go?
He rubbed his right eye with his hand, and then tipped back his head to balance against the wall. He rolled his eyes upward at the cerulean ceiling, and stared at it, despite how there was really nothing interesting about it. The room was finally bathed in the early morning glow, and though Vincent had never really been partial to the sun, he didn't bother to close the blinds that he had opened during the night.
He heard a groan, and he rolled his eyes over to his right to see Yuffie, twisting around on the bed. She sat up, and gasped as she opened her eyes, only to find the room drenched in morning light. Her pupils coiled into two nearly impossibly small marbles, and she bowed her head, and shut her eyes tightly.
"For the love of materia, close the damned blinds," she growled, and Vincent stood up in one smooth motion, and walked over to the window, doing her bidding.
Red walked up to the bed, and moved up onto his hind legs, putting his front paws onto the bed to get a better look at his awakened companion.
As soon as the light was chased away, she opened her eyes again, the pupils dilating back to their normal size. She looked around the room, puzzled about where she was, and she didn't say anything for a long time.
She finally felt two sets of gazes on her face, and looked over to Red, his golden orb watching her intently, as if expecting something bad to occur, and then she looked over at Vincent, whose bloodstained eyes were also fixed intently on her.
She felt irritated, but didn't really feel like talking. A new concept for her. She felt very… strange, if that was the right word for it. There was something inside her, she could feel it, and it seemed to have made itself at home. It felt both warm and cold, sharp and dull, soft and hard. It felt like everything all at once, and Yuffie's brain seemed to have trouble comprehending it. How can something feel like everything? Wouldn't that contradict itself entirely?
She felt it crawling around deep within her, and she wanted to rip it out, she knew it wasn't supposed to be there, her body knew that, her mind did as well. Her whole being screamed to make it go away, it was an invader. It made her so uncomfortable that it nearly felt like pain. It was a power of sorts that wasn't meant to be inside her.
It wasn't supposed to be there.
She felt sick, nauseated, and she tried to ignore it, but she couldn't. She couldn't ignore it edge around inside her, infecting her. It was supposed to help them kill him, but why did it feel so… so bad?
"Yuffie?" Red said, voice quiet, and the ninja looked at him, her face twisted in some sort of unreadable emotion.
"Yeah?"
"Are you alright?" he asked, and she nodded her head almost instantly.
"What happened to you?" asked Vincent, and the ninja tore her gaze away from Red, and to the gunslinger, who was waiting intently for her answer.
She didn't answer for a long time, and Vincent almost wondered if she was going to answer. Her words began to leave her mouth, and they were careful, almost cautious. He felt a sort of discomfort when she spoke like that.
"I… don't want to talk about right now. I feel like grossness, do you know where a shower is?" she asked, and Vincent paused.
Red walked over to the unused door, and pulled it open, and there was a bathroom. He suspected it was either that or a closet. What a guess, what a guess.
Yuffie pushed away the cerulean covers, damp from sweat, and she slid off the bed, feeling grosser than ever as she noticed the moisture on her dress. The ninja grabbed her usual clothes selection that lay at the foot of the bed, and she made her way into the bathroom.
She closed the door, and automatically locked it. It wasn't that she distrusted any of them, it was just something she did out of habit. She sighed, and put the garments on the counter, in between two sinks, and she walked over to the sink closest to the door. She gripped onto its ivory sides tightly, and started up into the mirror. Her hair was greasy, her skin was paler than usual, her eyes looked dull, lifeless. She looked like crap.
She turned around to the matching ivory bathtub and shower, and finally clued in that the entire room was going to be that same off white shade. The walls, the floor, the counters, the shower curtain. What was with these people and the colour white? White wasn't a bad colour, but they overused it to the point where she was beginning to dislike it.
Yuffie pushed back the shower curtain, and turned on the water, hitting the latch on the bathtub faucet so that the water was redirected to the showerhead. She pulled back the shower curtain halfway, and spun around, kneeling over to open up the cupboard under the sinks, only to find, surprise, ivory towels.
The ninja pulled two out, and put them on the counter atop her clothing, and she began to strip of her dress and undergarments, and tossed them on the floor. None of that stuff was hers. Actually, now that she thought of it, the prospect of someone else putting on undergarments that weren't hers on her naked form was quite the disturbing thought. She couldn't help but feel completely and utterly disgusted, if not slightly violated.
She visibly shivered, and forced away the thought, before climbing into the shower. She closed the curtain, and let the water hit her in the face. The water, which was bordering on being too hot, trailed down her body.
As soon as she felt clean, she shut off the water, and opened up the curtains. The giant mirror was already foggy, and she stepped out of the bathtub/shower. However, she didn't get a good enough balance, and her feet were drenched, which led to her slipping.
She banged up against the counter, and bit back a shriek of surprise. She caught onto the edge of the counter and regained her balance, before muttering a few curses.
"Yuffie are you alright?" asked a voice, Reds. She didn't answer at first, and resisted the urge to snap at him.
"Fine," she muttered, almost inaudibly to the garnet beast.
She rubbed her face, and then looked up into the fogged up mirror. She could see herself, a blurred image of herself anyway. She could see the general outline of her figure, the paler-than-usual colour of her skin, the raven colour of her hair.
"What the hell's wrong with me? I don't feel any damned special abilities. All I feel is that… that… thing," she said, her voice so quiet that she could barely hear her own words as they trailed passed her lips. "What did she do to me?"
She sighed, and then looked down at the towels, and clothes, before realising that she was dripping onto the floor. She quickly dried herself, and then put on all of her own clothes, and she instantly felt more comfortable, more at home, if you will.
She walked out of the bathroom, damp hair falling into her face, and her dulled, cloudy eyes met Vincent's bloodstained ones.
"So, now what?" asked the ninja, and Vincent stared at her for a few moments.
"Are you going to tell us what happened? I believe we have a right to know," said Vincent, and Red nodded his head in agreement, but didn't speak.
"I said I didn't want to talk about it, god, don't you listen?" she snapped, her voice cool, and as sharp as a blade.
"I listen perfectly well, but I want to know. I don't particularly care if you want to talk about it or not, we need to know what occurred," he said, crossing his arms tightly against his chest.
"Well I don't really care if you want to know or not, I'll tell you when I feel like it," she retorted, a hint of anger poisoning her voice.
"Yuffie, Vincent's right, you know. You have tell us what happened in there," said Red, his golden eye fixated on her face.
"Holy shit, why don't you two just leave me alone," she said, her voice a hint away from full out yelling.
"What is wrong with you?" asked Vincent, who reached over and grabbed her arm just as she was about to make her escape towards the door that exited the room.
"I don't fucking know what's wrong with me. How do you like that? Is that what you wanted to hear? I'm not even completely sure of what happened in the room, I don't know what she did to me, I don't know, I just don't fuckin' know. I just want to be left alone!" she said, and her voice finally broke out into a full scream.
"Calm down Yuffie, please, just tell us what happened," said Vincent, his voice calm as it always was.
"Holy shit, Vincent! You're so damned persistent. You can't just give me a few fuckin' hours to pull myself together, can you?" she yelled, pulling away her arm violently, and looked as if she was going to lash out at the gunslinger.
"We don't have the kind of time to be idly wandering around," he retorted, and Yuffie looked like she was going to lose all control of her temper, and just take her conformer, and attack him.
"I…wow, whatever. I saw Aeris in that room, and she said she was going to lend me something that she said that it would help us kill Victor's soul or whatever his name was, and she said she was sorry, and then she touched me and… it hurt so bad, and here I am. It's fuckin' inside me, and I feel it, and I hate it. I hate it so much, because it isn't supposed to be there, and it's so tormenting. I hate the way it feels, how it moves inside me, and makes me feel it," she said, and her anger broke out into a sort of twisted depression. "It makes me feel sick to feel it inside me."
She had sunk to her knees by that time, and her eyes had fallen from Vincent's face, to the ground. Vincent walked over to her cautiously, and Red watched the pair with curiosity, observing to see what Vincent would do.
He kneeled in front of her, but didn't touch her. She forced herself to look up at him, despite how much her mind screamed for her to ignore him. Their eyes met, crimson and slate, and neither of them spoke for a long while.
"Is this what Chaos feels like?" she asked, her voice quiet, although curious.
He nodded his head. "Something similar to that, I suppose."
"Do you get used to it?"
"Not completely, no."
"Do you think she gave me something like Chaos?"
"Doubtful. Chaos is… something along the lines of pure darkness, and I believe that he was created by something other than Lifestream and whatnot."
"Like what?" she asked, tilting her head.
"I… do not know."
Another pause. She studied his face, porcelain, sun deprived skin, crimson eyes, handsome features, and she briefly wondered what he looked like before Hojo, and his experiments.
"I hate it so much Vincent, I want it to go away, make it go away," her request was childish, and she knew that, but she was beyond the point of caring.
"I don't know how."
"Even if you did, would you bother doing it?" she asked, and Vincent felt surprised that she'd even ask such a thing.
"Of course," he replied without hesitation, and she seemed satisfied for a few moments.
"Even if it meant that we wouldn't have another way to get rid of that nut job?"
Vincent never got a chance to answer, because Red decided that the perfect moment to ask his question.
"What are we going to do now?" he asked, padding towards them.
The two people stood up, and Yuffie looked down at him, mischievousness slowly filling back into her eyes, and there was a smile, albeit a faint one, but a smile nonetheless. She had finally mildly pulled herself together, which Red was pleased to see.
He didn't like watching her crumble like that, she was a strong young woman… but even the strongest of people fall apart sometime, because no one is immune to everything, every pain, every heartbreak, every failed effort. There always comes a point where you just want to let yourself fall, and you couldn't blame someone for that. They're just human after all, only human.
That thing she had to experience, being the only one that was able to house that… power inside her. She had to go through more pain in that one instant than most people would go through in their whole lifetime. Then she felt it invade her, and she couldn't do anything about it. It was almost like a supernatural rape. She had no choice, she just had to deal with it. She had already dealt with more than any teenager should have had to deal with, and that right there, that was the straw that broke the camels back, as they say. It was no wonder that she fell apart for a moment there. He would have too.
"Perhaps it would be best if we went to Icicle Inn. Cloud and Tifa should be there by now, and if we start now, we can be there by tonight, at most, assuming we can somehow obtain golden chocobos, and also assuming that the weather hasn't gotten worst, and that the snow hadn't deepened very much since we were out there," he said, somehow managing to say most of that in one breath.
"Well, Vinnie-boy, let's assume that all of those assumptions were wrong, does that mean we're fucked?" she asked, and Vincent cocked an eyebrow.
"Pretty much, yes," he said, and Yuffie snickered.
"Perfect, because I'm sure we're going to find soooo many chocobos here, and I'm sure that the snow stopped just for us," she retorted sarcastically, with actions to exaggerate her negative words.
Red ignored her commentary. "Perhaps we should stop at Rocket Town to see Barret and Cid, as the PHS' aren't working very well, and they may need something."
Yuffie snickered. "Well that's just too damned bad for them, now isn't it? And anyway, like Vinnie said, we don't really have all that much time, so you know, no point in stopping there unless we have to, right?"
"Yuffie does have a point, so no, I don't think we should. They're clever, they can manage on their own," replied Vincent, and Red nodded his head.
"Clever, clever?" she laughed. "They have the IQ of a retarded fly."
Vincent shook his head, although mildly amused at the mockery.
"Shall we?" asked Vincent, nodding towards the door.
The trio grabbed their armour and weapons, and headed out the door. They returned to the room where they had first seen Mara, and low and behold, there were people there. Four of them, to be exact, two males that none of them had ever seen before, as well as Mara and Bella.
Bella was sitting on the floor against the wall, talking to Mara softly about something or other. As she noticed the trio walk in, in unison, her jaw snapped shut, and she stood up, watching them warily. The two men glared at the trio, and stood up as tall as their 6'5, bulky figures would allow, attempting to use their sizes to intimidate them. It didn't work.
"Oh, you're ok?" asked Mara, fake smile coming upon her face, and Yuffie nodded her head, no longer holding any resentment towards the woman.
"Mara, we are leaving. Do you have any chocobos? Preferably gold," asked Vincent, always calm, always cool, and Mara automatically nodded her head.
"We found yours at dusk yesterday, so clearly you can have them back. We also have something to give you to help your on your little, uh, journey," said Mara, plastic smile fading away.
She nodded towards Bella, who quickly walked across the room, passed the small group, and out the door. There was a moment of awkward silence before someone decided that awkward conversation was better than awkward silence.
"So… those two guys over there. What are their names? Bane, and Jaws? Well they look awfully… nice," said Yuffie, nodding her head as she spoke.
Mara smiled, this time it was real, and she choked back a laugh. Both the men stared at the ninja blankly, but didn't bother to introduce themselves.
Bella walked back into the room, holding a pile of clothes and such so high that she couldn't even see over them. Mara smiled once more, and shook her head as Bella nearly tripped over her own feet numerous times.
"Bella, hand them the clothing will you?" she asked, and the girl twisted towards the three comrades.
She walked up to Yuffie, who she was less afraid of than Vincent, and placed the clothing at her feet, before hurriedly walking back towards Mara, 'Bane', and 'Jaws'. Yuffie leaned over and picked up one article. She held it out before her, and allowed it to unfold on its own. It was a large olive coloured parka, which looked as if it would be able to fit her decently.
She went back to rummage through clothing and found articles that would fit her, some for Vincent, and surprisingly, some for Red. Even more surprisingly, most of these were in colours other than white, aside from Red's clothing.
"You guys actually have things that aren't white?" she asked rhetorically, holding back out the olive green coat with black fur lining.
She smiled and answered all the same. "Yes we do, although we rarely wear it. White is a pure colour, and that's what we find is appropriate to wear."
"I guess that makes sense. This is a holy ground or whatever the hell it was that Aeris called it," she muttered, not even bothering to look at Mara.
"Aeris?" she asked, bewilderment nearly radiating off her.
Yuffie finally put down the coat and looked at the woman.
"The woman you talked to, you know, you didn't know her name. Do you get what I'm talking about?" explained Yuffie, and the woman nodded her head, finally clueing in.
"Mara, I apologize for verbally attacking, I realise it wasn't your fault…" said Vincent finally, and Mara smiled faintly.
"I understand why you did it. You were protective of her, it only makes sense to protect the people you care for," she said, dark brown eyes glazed over with kindness.
"Aw, Vinnie? I didn't know you liked me like that. Not that I can blame you, I am one sexy ninja," said Yuffie, and Vincent coughed.
His words were caught in his throat for a moment.
"I believe she means friendship," he said slowly, and the ninja snickered.
"Yeah, yeah, you just keep lying to yourself Vinnie. We all know that you secretly adore me with all your heart," she said, and winkled exaggeratedly at him.
He resisted a half-smile, and just snickered faintly, almost inaudibly, and Yuffie grinned, pleased with herself.
"We'd better be going, let us be off. Good bye Mara, thank you for everything you've done to help us. We appreciate it," said Red, his tail flicking back and forth rhythmically.
"Let Bella show you out," she said, and nodded to Bella, who automatically did what she was told.
Mara watched as they were led out of the room, and she chuckled softly to herself. 'Jaws' looked over at her curiously, and cocked an eyebrow. She noticed his gaze, and look over at him. Her rich brown eyes were glittering with a sort of twisted amusement.
"It's a funny thing, people are so oblivious to what they feel. I'm not sure why that is," she muttered, staring at him with that all-knowing gaze. "I never meant friendship."
Thanks muchly to all who reviewed before, and power to those who still bother to read this despite my completely random updates.
Constructive criticism is definitely always welcome X3