Disclaimer: (the funeral march begins) I am not J.K. Rowling. We all wish her well and DEMAND THAT SHE BLOODY WELL UNDO WHAT SHE DID TO SEVERUS! Oh yeah, and BRING BACK SIRUS and Dumbledore I suppose. But seriously, you've all read the sixth book by now. WHAT WAS SHE THINKING! And yes, certain bits of sixth book are going to be ignored. The general plot line for example. In fact, a great deal of things in Harry Potter are being ingnored in this story. So I suppose since we all know its AU it doesn't matter, does it. So no spoilers for book 6 in the chapter except the disclaimer. If you haven't read it yet and don't know that Severus kills Dumbledore in the end, I'm not apologizing for telling you. What are you doing reading fanfiction when you should be reading the book! After you read this chapter- finish it! Its so horrible! Oh right, this is just a disclaimer, isn't it. Well, hey, I don't own Harry Potter. Any of it. I don't own the names of like all the OC, those belong to Dragon Knights' author, and any other manga references I make in the next chapter. Like I didn't own Gravitation. Not mine. Maki Murakami's- she's so BRILLIANT. AND I'VE NOW READ THE ENTIRE SERIES! -clear throat- anyway, you get the point.

CHAPTER 4:

"Hang on a sec, did you just say who's Narcissa?" Rath's eyes went comically wide. Think anime character almost comatose shock eyes. Yeah, that big. "Bellatrix she's-a-bitch Black's sister?"

"Bellatrix?" This is time was Severus asking. "And that is?" Thatz and Rath exchanged worried glances.

"What the hell is going on?" Rath exclaimed. "Did we screw something up? Did we alter the timeline or something? Is there a cosmic rip in the universe and people are going to be sucked up through them until no one exists anymore?" Thatz looked horrified.

"Oh my God," he half-yelled in a strangled sort of voice. The two were on the verge of running around in circles, waving their arms wildly as they both suffered massive panic attacks- until, that is, they heard snickers. Then the snickers turned into giggles, until the giggles became full-blown laughs and Severus, Lucius, and Leon were literally rolling around on the ground, pointing at Thatz and Rath and laughing harder still.

"What is so damn funny?" Rath demanded in a chilly, terrifying voice.

"You-you're so, so gullible," Leon managed to choke out.

"Gullible?" A vein began pulsing at Rath's temple. The three caught a look at Rath's face and sobered up with an amazing speed.

"Now there's no need to get upset," Leon said in what he hoped was a soothing sort of voice.

"But we just thought it would be a bit of a laugh," Severus continued looking slightly uncomfortable.

"To mess with you a little," Lucius finished, managing to use the magical Malfoy gene to remain cool, even though he could have sworn he saw Rath reaching for a knife stuffed down the back of his pants.

"Mess with me?" It seemed, now, that Rath was incapable of doing anything more than repeating what he had just heard.

"Is that smoke?" Leon whispered, pointing to Rath's ear.

"I think so," Severus replied grimly.

"Perhaps we should run?" Lucius suggested smoothly.

"And cue exit," Severus said as the three attempted to dash away. But oddly enough there was something in their way.

"What the hell is this?" Severus fumed.

"Well that's a leg," Leon said, pointing.

"Ah," Lucius said. "I see." He reached down and pulled up. Suddenly there were four bodies on the ground underneath them and an invisibility cloak in his hand.

"Shit," Rath breathed.

"You forgive us, then?" Leon said hopefully.

"No," Rath snapped. "But that is not the point. We have a bigger problem here, gentlemen. You see the four unconscious Gryffindor there?"

"See, feel, and," Severus wrinkled his nose. "Smell."

"I vote we get up," Leon said, wincing as he tried to shift off James's kneecap without planting his foot in Remus's face.

"I second that motion," Lucius said, jumping up enthusiastically. He reached down and grabbed Severus's hand, helping him up.

"I knew there was a reason I wanted a boyfriend," Leon muttered to himself as he got up carefully.

"Excessive laziness?" Lucius drawled.

"Exactly."

"Now what do we do with them?" Severus asked, eyeing the marauders.

"How much do you think they heard?" Rath asked Thatz worriedly.

"Knowing us, everything. Hence the unconsciousness. More shock I think then impact with those three."

"Well, wouldn't you think you'd remember something like that? I don't care if you don't remember much about this year," Rath said accusingly.

"Sorry, it's a total blank." Rath sighed.

"Oh well, I suppose we can't leave them out here no matter how much they heard."

"Why not?" Leon demanded.

"What kind of Slytherin are you?" Severus said in shock.

"Especially since it's not any ordinary group of pricks, it's the lowest of the low, the slimiest of the slime, the most thick-headed, arrogant, simply intollerable group of Gryffindors ever to live," Lucius added with an added smirk at the end, directed toward Thatz.

"Hey," Thatz protested, looking quite ready to punch Lucius, student or no.

"Oh break it up," Rath said, rolling his eyes. "What are you, a couple of first years? This is no time for stupid house arguments. We have to get them to your quarters. When they come around we'll question them."

"Does that involve torture?" Severus asked in a voice that was a little too interested. "Dark arts?"

"No!" Rath said forcibly, glaring. "Now help me pick them up, I can't carry them all."

"Oh sure," Leon said, sulking. "Pick up Remus. Everyone knows these three weigh four times as much as he does. You wuss."

"Well if you're so strong, you get Sirius."

"Are you calling me fat!"

""No, heavy."

"What's the difference?"

"You are a girl, aren't you."

"What is that supposed to me?" Thatz said huffily.

"He's too ugly to be a girl," Lucius said, swinging the Sirius (teenage) over his shoulder with apparent ease. The look Thatz shot him was pure evil. Lucius was not fazed at all.

"Focus, please," Rath said, turning his glare onto Thatz. "You quarters. Now."

"Right. Follow me."

If you got past the disclaimer, I applaud you, really. I'm only half insane. And sorry that I didn't update for almost a year. But the reviews I kept getting really inspired me. So here's a chapter that might be a little to sarcastic and ridiculous in points, and not really driving the plot line along, but hey, something important happened, what with them running into the Marauders, so it's not all bad. And I hoped you all laughed at least a little. It was supposed to be funny, you know. Anyway, thank you all for waiting so long for a new chapter. May Slytherin bless all of you who read this chapter, and may you find a big stash of money somewhere if you PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! And no, that last bit was not a joke. Seriously, review. Right now. Stop reading my gibberish and review. And once you've done that, read the sixth book so it gets burned into every fiber of you being (you are truly a man slayer. Oh I need help) anyway. Read Harry Potter and review. But review first. Remo