Okay, if there's some things in this chapter that don't make any sense, it's because I wrote this chapter (and the next chapter, which was originally part of this one, but I decided to separate them because it was too revealing or something… and I also wrote the chapter after the next chapter, which was originally supposed to be the end, but I thought it was way too sappy), and then, I got an idea and suddenly decided to write another chapter before this one, but that meant I had to edit it a little. However, later I decided that the chapter that was supposed to be before this one didn't fit anymore, especially when I decided to change the ending, and so I had to edit it yet AGAIN. So, if there's anything kinda weird about it, it's prolly 'cause I didn't catch it…
Grr, I changed the ending so much. It started out as the end of the next chapter, and then it was the chapter after that, and then it was the actual ending… Which is, AIE, approaching!
The dance ended a while ago. We were outta there in a millisecond. I still didn't get what T.J. meant. How would I know who he was talking about?
He's driving around aimlessly because neither one of us want to go back home, but we don't know where we do want to go. The thought of playing a prank at the school comes up, but my brains and nerves are shot. I have absolutely no idea where he's taking me.
It's a little past midnight.
Finally, T.J. parks the car. Where are we?
The darkness encompasses almost everything. But then I see it. The glimmer of an old sign. Third Street School. I shoot him a curious look, but he shrugs it off. We both leave the car, walking through the gates of our old schoolyard, heels and dress shoes clicking across the ancient blacktop we played on, walked on, ran on, drew on…
He begins to climb Old Rusty, and I have no choice but to follow him. Once we reach the top, where King Bob used to reign, where T.J.'s office was when he controlled nine out of ten Monstickers on the playground, we climb up unto it's room, leaning against it, looking at the stars.
I turn to face him, discovering that he's looking at me too.
"T.J., why are we up here?" I ask quietly.
T.J. turns back to face the stars, hands behind his head. He shrugs. I throw my hands behind me, over the roof's point, sighing. It's a cold night for the spring, and I can feel it most of all.
I shiver, and T.J. notices, draping his jacket over me. I shoot him a grateful look.
"Thanks."
He nods back, smiling at me a little. It's strange. He's been so nice to me lately. And I've done nothing to deserve it. I pull out another cigarette, lighting it, and puffing on it a bit. Then I turn over to look at him.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" I question, perplexed.
He takes a cigarette out of my top, snatching the lighter from my hand, using it to light the cigarette. He does it like he's done this for years. I'm kind of surprised, not just in the fact that he smokes like he's smoked before, but that he took the thing out of my dress like it was nothing. He blows on it, shrugging again.
I shoot him a look.
"Tell me!" I hiss, annoyed.
He doesn't answer for a minute. Then he blows out, moving the cigarette he holds.
"Because, Spinelli, we're friends. Friends do stuff like that for their friends," He replies calmly.
Friends? When did we become friends? How did we become friends again? This makes no sense. But this isn't a topic I'm going to go over right now. I smirk, thinking of how Vince and Gretchen played us.
"Hey, Teej, Vince and Gretchen tricked us. They didn't really have a relationship. But, surprisingly, they've started up an actual one…"
Teej shoots me a quizzical look.
"I overheard them talking," I mutter in reply.
T.J. nods, gazing at the stars and exhaling smoke. I do the same. Then a thought, an insatiable curiosity hits me. What about that girl? The one he can't get. Who is she? I twist to gaze at him silently for a moment, gathering the words in my head. His eye catches mine.
"What?" He says, dragging on the cigarette.
I smile a little.
"I was just wondering about that girl you say you can never have. Who is she?" I inquire, curiosity getting the best of me.
T.J. glances at me, panic apparent in his eyes.
"I can't tell you," He mumbles hastily, not meeting my eyes.
I turn his head towards me with my hand.
"Teej, it's me. I've known you since, well, forever. We're neighbors. Your sister went out with my brother. My other brother and your big brother were best friends. Now, come on, you can tell me…" I beseech, hand on his shoulder.
T.J. shakes his head no, turning away from me, shrugging out of my grip. A moment later, he turns to face me. There's a crafty look on his face, so I KNOW he's up to something. I'm not going to like this question.
"Hey! You're one to talk! What about you and Mr. Fitzgerald?" He retorts, arms crossed over his chest.
Now there's a name I didn't need to hear at the moment.
"It's Jack," I correct automatically.
Teej's eyebrows raise in shock. He shoots me a suspicious look.
"So you're on a first name basis with him, eh, Ashley?" He rejoins.
I glare at him. If just about anyone else called me Ashley, I woulda slugged 'em. But it's T.J., and I'm really tired and kinda drunk, so I'll let it go. Especially what he and the others did for me when I was an Ashley. I shake my head, pushing myself up and dragging angrily on the cigarette.
"It's not like that, T.J." I snap angrily.
He gives me a look, rolling his eyes.
"Right," He mutters coolly, drawing on the cigarette.
I can't believe that he doesn't believe me. Ugh. He really pisses me off sometimes. I punch him hard in the shoulder.
"Hey! Look, I'm talking to you here! Okay, technically, this is none of your beeswax, but I'm gonna tell you anyways because I don't want you thinking that I'm sleeping with my English teacher or anything, okay?" I snap loudly.
Now I've got his attention. His eyes are startled. I look down, inhaling the cigarette smoke.
"Okay, after the Vince and Gretchen thing, he came out unto the porch. We talked about smoking, and him wanting to jump me, not that he's the only one, of course, but he swore that he was sorry and asked for me to forget it. Not that I could forget it… I can't really forget anything. And he offered to transfer, leave, or move if I was uncomfortable being around him. Then he kissed me. And then he said that he loved me even though I could never love him, even though he knew it was wrong. I told him why I couldn't love him, why I couldn't love anyone, and then he asked for a favor. That was the kiss you saw. After that, I apologized and went after you because I was afraid that you would tell everyone what I'd done, just like I'd told everyone about you all those years ago. I saw you talking to Ashley A. And I asked Ashley A., and she said that you had told her some personal stuff and that you'd tell me if you ever mustered up the courage. I went outside to find you, to try and find out why on Earth you'd done something so nice for me, and that's when I overheard Vince and Gretchen. Then I went back inside, and we were dancing, and Jared cut in. Jared told me that the president needed him again, so he had to leave. That's about it," I explained, getting a little misty-eyed around the part where Jack said he loves me.
T.J. seems to be taking all this in, but I merely gaze up at the stars. The stars don't judge, or hate. The stars are merely static balls of gas that burn constant. But stars, like everything else change. They don't last forever, they, too, die.
I feel a warm hand on my icy shoulder. It's T.J. and I glance over at him, sucking in the smoke and blowing it out.
"H-he l-l-loves y-you?" Teej stutters, in awe.
I nod, wiping at my eyes a little, not wanting to think about it. But I have to know. I roll over, pushing myself up a little, looking him straight in the eyes. It's almost as if I can see right through him. He's hiding things from me.
But his secrets remain hidden and well-kept.
"T.J., who is that girl? Tell me now," I demand softly.
T.J. looks away, then looks down, then, finally, his eyes roll back up towards mine. He sighs, tearing his stare away from mine.
"I suppose I ought to tell you. You deserve to know anyways," He murmurs quietly.
His eyes seem to be on everything but me. They dart around, and for some reason, he looks nervous. Come on, it can't be that bad. Right?
He exhales, taking a drag on his cigarette, his wandering gaze finally stopping on the stars.
"Spinelli, the girl, she's… She's… You…" He answers nervously, quietly.
Loren ;
Ooh, what a cliffhanger! An actual one for once… Now, how long have you been waiting for him to say that, huh? Anyways, just what WILL Spinelli say to that?