TITLE: Broken Smile
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Boone watches Shannon and Sayid and thinks about all he can't give Shannon.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is just an experiment, I wanted to try something different. This is the way I see Boone, so I'm sorry if I offend anyone. Thanks to mrstater for her support and for helping me to add some more details.
Boone sat there in frozen in the sand, a permanent frown etched on his face. His eyes were fixed on where his sister stood with Sayid. Shannon had been tying rope around logs for a shelter when Sayid had walked over to her. Sayid was next to her, and her hands rested on a piece of rope. They were laughing, flirting most likely, and Boone wasn't amused. He knew that in the end he would have to pick up the pieces of Shannon's fragile heart. She gave it away too easily, and always ran back to him. It was a pattern they had fallen into, one that he had grown accustomed to. Shannon would rebel, fall in "love," and call him when it all fell apart. She had more broken relationships than a soap opera character, not that he really watched them often enough to know.
He had told Locke that he had let go of Shannon, but the truth was, that he couldn't. He had always been unable to. He had been to therapy as a teenager to help him deal with his issues involving Shannon, but he still hadn't been able to let go. His mom had felt that he was too involved with Shannon, and had felt that he needed to speak about his feelings with someone else. It wasn't his fault that Shannon always found a way to draw him back into her web. Her dad had died during that time, and Boone knew he wasn't going to let her survive on her own. She needed him and he wouldn't let her down. Seeing Shannon dead in his hallucination had shaken him more then he could ever admit, and in fact had haunted his dreams. She of course was oblivious to his suffering, just like always. Sometimes he wondered what it would take to get her to finally notice that she needed him.
The truth was, he didn't want to let Shannon go. He wanted to take care of her, the way he always had. He was tired of being used by her, but after what happened in Sydney he was much more aware of just how manipulative she could be. It hurt, but it was who she was, and he loved her for it.
Just then, either Sayid or Shannon said something funny, and her face broke out into a gigantic smile. Boone's shoulders sagged as he sighed. He couldn't remember the last time her face had lit up like that. She was beautiful when she smiled, and he had spent most of his life trying to get her to. Most of the time he had been rewarded with a broken smile that never filled her eyes.
When he closed his eyes, he could still remember the first time he had seen her. At first she had seemed shy, clinging to her father. Boone had coaxed her away with promises of chocolate. Even away from her father she still seemed quiet and afraid of him. She was like a lost child, not quite fitting into her body or fitting into the world. At that moment he had known that he would always protect her. As they got older his desire to keep her safe had grown until it had consumed him. He wanted to keep her safe from the stares of men who thought she was older than her years. But he failed, and she grew up thinking that her body was all that she was good for. She was incredibly attractive, a fact he was always all too aware of. He had tried to push those thoughts from him mind, but they always came back at the worst times. He tried to hide it from her, but as they got older, he must have revealed his true feelings for her, because the manipulation started. He always knew she didn't really feel the same way about him that he did about her, but that never stopped him from dropping everything when she called.
He knew he would do it here too. Even stranded in the middle of nowhere, he would drop everything; stop the adventures with Locke, if she asked him too. He would hold her as she cried and tell her as he had before that whoever made her cry wasn't worth her tears. He ignored all the times he had been the one to draw her tears. He hated when she cried, it had always tore at his heart. She would look so broken, and all he wanted to do was make her smile. That was why he was always there for her. One smile was able to heal a thousand hurts.
Boone couldn't believe that Sayid was still hanging around Shannon. He had specifically told him to stay away from her. He had realized the foolishness in threatening a former Iraqi solider, but Shannon was worth any bruise. He just hoped that she wasn't the one who would be hurt. He knew that the bruises in Sydney had been fake, and questioned all the other times she called him. But the first time she had called, still remained etched in his mind. She had been broken and battered lying on the floor crying. That was when he had renewed his vow to protect her at all costs. He knew that if he had revealed his feelings for her, she never would have married that man.
He still couldn't believe that Shannon was tying ropes of all things while talking with Sayid. She never did anything remotely like that in her life. She was lazy mostly because everyone was willing to do things for her, or she would find a way to get them to do it for her. It was a momentary glitch, Boone felt. She would soon find a way to rope Sayid into doing her work for her. It was a shame, because he felt that Sayid was smarter than that. If their only hope of getting of this island was so easily manipulated by Shannon, then they were never going to be rescued.
His eyes narrowed as Shannon gave Sayid a flirtatious smile, and for the first time since he had started watching them, he wondered what they were talking about. What could they possibly have in common? She was out of Sayid's league. Boone figured Sayid just wanted to have sex with her. It was just as well, it would jump start her return to him, and things would get back to normal. He would comfort her, until she moved on to her next mark. It really drove him crazy, but he wouldn't have it any other way.
Sayid must have said something else because her laughter rang out, and even from where he sat, he could see a faint blush on her checks. He wondered what Sayid had said, Shannon never blushed, she was too worldly for that now.
Shaking his head, he realized that he needed to talk to Sayid again, had to keep him away from his sister. Boone was the only one who was supposed to make her smile. As he stood to get the smiling couple out of his mind, Boone pushed away the thought that Sayid had been able to do what he never could. Sayid had healed her broken smile.
The End