Hello to all! Welcome to my newest fic! This was just an idea that randomly popped into my head last week, and, usually, when ideas come to me like that, I just have to write them down before I lose inspiration for them. Yesterday, after finishing up the third chapter in my other series, I dug this up (from my English folder, no less) and decided to edit and post it. So… here it is!

Disclaimer: Roses are red… violets are blue… I don't own Azumanga… so you will not sue.
Chapter One: Impact

Tomo teetered precariously as she placed a bucket above the door to Yukari's classroom, trying not to spill the contents inside. Below her, the rest of her classmates continued to talk amongst themselves, paying no mind to the giggling girl atop a chair at the front of the room.

All completely ignored her… save one.

"Tomo, what in hell are you doing?" this lone female asked, peering out at her from behind both tawny bangs and enormous glasses.

The short-haired girl who had just been addressed turned around, smiling widely. "Ah, my dear Koyomi. I'm so happy you asked…" Upon hearing this, the titian-haired girl, also known as "Yomi", groaned. Just now, Tomo's voice had taken on a tone she normally got whenever something bad was going to happen. Despite its overall happy nature, it foreboded a horrible incident, foreshadowed an ominous occurrence, threatened, quite possibly, life itself…

Yomi shook her head. There she went losing her sanity again. Somehow, whenever Tomo spoke like that, she underwent a strange feeling, one of apprehension, confusion, and even anger all at once, and these emotions, when combined, helped to steal away her self-control and send her stumbling toward the edge of lunacy.

Tomo, who had since placed the full bucket above the door, hopped down from the chair she had been standing on and made her way toward Yomi. "I heard from my parents once," she explained, "That, one day in April in America, people play tricks on one another for fun."

"But its February," Yomi pointed out, "And, really, do we need a special holiday to tell us when we're allowed to pull pranks?"

Tomo shrugged. "I dunno. Americans are weird in that way. But, anyways, I decided today, 'Hey, that sounds like fun!', so I'm going to prank Yukari, just to get in the spirit of 'April Fool's Day'!"

"In February," Yomi reminded.

"What's your deal? It's never too early to start to celebrate! But, getting back to my prank, I put a bucket above the door there, so, when Yukari walks through it, it will fall on her! Isn't that genius?"

"You're a moron," Yomi said simply, as one who is stating the obvious would. Which Yomi was doing. "Making a bucket fall off a door may scare Yukari, but that hardly counts as a prank."

"Ah, but Yomi, my friend, you miss the point," Tomo said, snaking her arm around her companion's shoulder. "You see, I filled it with water, so, when Yukari fully opens the door, she'll get soaked!"

"I still think it's a stupid idea," Yomi stated, brushing Tomo's arm away.

"Hey, what are you talking about?"

Yomi turned at the sound of the new voice and saw her friend Kagura approach. The dark-skinned athlete brushed a stray strand of chocolate hair from her set countenance, eyes searching for an answer to her prompt.

"Oh, nothing," Tomo said flippantly, shrugging. "I was just telling Yomi here that I wanted to prank Yukari, so I put a bowling ball in that bucket above the door…"

"WHAT?" This came from Yomi, her eyes flashing from behind her glasses. "You never said that!"

"I know," Tomo said nonchalantly, "I lied just now."

"A bowling ball, huh?" called another girl, a short one named Osaka, from her desk, "On Yukari's head? Won't that be like… really, really heavy?"

"You think?" said Yomi.

"Uh-huh."

The bespectacled girl sighed and slumped into her own desk, defeated by an even bigger bubble-head than Tomo. "You're hopeless."

Osaka shook her head. "'Hopeless' isn't a name. Besides, I'm Osaka."

"No, you're Sakaki," said Tomo suddenly, not to mention blatantly untruthfully. The real Sakaki, who had previously been sitting quietly at her desk, drawing a picture of a cat, looked up at her name, black hair falling in front of her face and over her not-so-modestly-sized chest. "I'm Sakaki," the girl said gently, as though to remind everyone that she was there.

"No, I am," declared Osaka.

"Can I be Kagura, then?" piped up Tomo, playing along with her own game—one that was promptly ended by a karate chop from Yomi. "Will you please be quiet?" she commanded, pointing to each person as she said their name, "You're Tomo, she's Osaka, she's Sakaki, and you're insane!"

"But… but…" Tomo's voice quavered almost as much as her defenseless body did. "Wh-which am I? 'Tomo'… or 'insane'?"

Yomi just may have slipped into a homicidal rage at that moment had she not heard a high-pitched voice sound near the front of the room. "Hi, you guys!" cried Chiyo, the last member of Yomi's group of friends. Despite this girl's diminutive size, she was easily the most intelligent and perceptive person Yomi had ever known.

Unfortunately, Chiyo's acuteness did not show itself just then, as she failed to notice the pail perched above the door she was now leaning against.

"What's up?" the child genius piped up, her mouth widening into a grin as her eyes fell upon her friends. These five girls, however, did not return her gaze, as theirs were currently flitting between the bucket, the door, and Chiyo's tiny body, her orange hair serving almost as a target for the unstable pail above her.

"Uh… Chiyo-chan…" Yomi managed, "Maybe you should move now…"

The little girl cocked her head confusedly, yet rather adorably, as she removed her hand from the door. "Huh? Why? What's going on?"

"Yomi's right," Kagura said, "Really. Get out of the way before that thing hits you."

Chiyo's eyes narrowed suddenly. "Hey, are you guys playing a trick on me?"

"No," Tomo corrected, "On Yukari."

The child genius harrumphed and turned her back to them, crossing her arms stubbornly. "Well, it isn't very funny if you are."

"Chiyo-chan, please."

Everyone turned and saw Sakaki, standing now, walking toward Chiyo, one hand outstretched as though she was trying to reach out for her. "Move away from the door… please?"

Chiyo's arms dropped to her sides as she stared at the older girl. "Sakaki…" she said breathlessly, her voice barely above a whisper. A strange silence grew between the two friends...

One that was immediately cut short by the sound of footsteps coming closer and closer to the room and a woman's voice crying, "Sorry I'm late!"

All eyes turned to the door, and standing behind Chiyo was Yukari, her hands on her knees, panting. Once she had caught her breath, she grinned and said, "I know that I should have been earlier, but…" The teacher paused and rummaged about one of her deep coat pockets. The smile she'd worn barely moments before evaporated as she pulled out ten yen coins, old memos, a few tokens from a recent trip to an arcade with Nyamo, and enough lint to make an old clothes dryer combust. Yukari moved backwards and reached inside another pocket, leaning against the door for support. "Damn it! Where the heck is that video game!"

"Yukari-sensei, are you alright?" Chiyo asked as the teacher pushed against the classroom door, completely oblivious to the fact that, seven feet above her head, a bucket was wobbling about dangerously, seconds away from falling down to the ground below. Finally, with one last shove, it did, sailing toward the floor, its momentum ever-increasing…

In the next instant, it, at long last, made contact…

…with Chiyo's head.

The girl was on the floor in seconds, surrounded by a strange red substance that could only be one thing…

"Kami-sama!" Yomi cried, rushing toward the girl. "She's bleeding!"

At these words, Sakaki blanched and, without a moment's hesitation, took off toward the tiny body on the ground at an even faster rate than Yomi, pumping her arms like the long-distance runner that she was would do, even though Chiyo was only a few feet away. When she reached her, the taller girl sat and rested Chiyo's head on her lap, only to discover…

"She isn't wounded," Sakaki stated, holding the limp body up for inspection.

"Of course she isn't," Tomo said.

Yomi wheeled around, glaring at her. Tomo obviously knew something that she didn't. "What the hell does that mean?"

"That's not blood," Tomo explained, "It's water dyed with red food coloring. Duh."

Yomi was only vaguely aware of the fact that she was now clenching her fists, digging her fingers into the surface of her palms, as she prepared to slug Tomo as hard as she could. She could barely believe that Tomo would sink so low as to something such as that, to worry them all so much only to admit that their energies had all been wasted. "Why you…"

"Aha!"

All of the hysteria that had occurred in the past few seconds was temporarily forgotten as five pairs of eyes turned toward the owner of the voice; Yukari. The woman held a small black box triumphantly over her head, her eyes shimmering like those of a victorious person's in an anime would. "Behold! Final Fantasy XII! I waited in line all morning to buy this baby!" She looked away from her prize, her eyes now set on the unmoving form of Chiyo situated on Sakaki's lap, drenched in fake blood. "By the way, what happened to Chiyo-chan?"

The group remained silent for a moment before Osaka finally said, "No, no, no. The question is; what happened to the bowling ball?" Once more, silence overtook the classroom. "I mean, Tomo said there would be one. Did it, like, vanish in midair? 'Cuz I missed it."

Silence again, as everyone who wasn't unconscious marveled at Osaka's bubble-headed-ness. Sakaki shook her head, groaning…

…until she felt something stir on her legs.

Looking down, she saw Chiyo flinch suddenly and open her eyes, gasping for air. "She's awake!" the tall girl cried, prompting her friends and the teacher to crowd around her, peering down at the orange-haired girl as she looked around. In fact, judging by the way her eyes were moving, it looked as though she was confused, had no idea where she was or what had just happened.

"Chiyo-chan, are you okay?" Sakaki asked, taking note of the uncharacteristic shimmer in her friend's eyes.

What Chiyo said next shocked all of them.

"Chiyo… is… that my name? And…

"Who are all of you?"

End chapter. Please leave a review telling me what you think. Constructive criticism is appreciated. Also, I'm not sure if I got the (few) name suffixes I included correct, so, if you could clarify that for me, that'd be great. I'll start working on the next chapter soon. Bye for now!