When I Think About Cheating

by Lady Nightshade

After the miscarriage of their child Pernia and Seto find their marriage on the rocks. Will they let it be destoryed or will they do something about it?

When I Think About Cheating
Author's Notes: This is a one shot that takes place around a year after Blood Bonds.
I do not own Seto, Mai, Yami, and Joey they are owned by Kazuki Takahashi.
I do not own "When I Think About Cheating" it is owned by Gretchen Wilson.
Thanks to my big sister Kyia Star for betaing for me, again.

Seto moved silently through the darkened halls of his mansion and slipped silently into the bedroom he shared with his wife, Pernia. The first thing that registered in his mind as he placed his briefcase by the door was his wife's bedside lamp providing a faint glow and her with an open book resting on her chest. Moving silently he climbed into bed reaching over her to remove the book before turning out the light off finally laying his head on the pillow and falling asleep within seconds.

The sun rose over the horizon and began to peak through the curtains of the bedroom gently awakening the lone figure in the bed. Pernia blinked her light blue eyes in an attempt to get rid of the last remains of the sleep, the bright colors barely registering in her mind. Sitting up in bed she brushed her light brown bangs from her eyes and yawned before finally getting out of bed. She slipped into the bathrobe and wrapped her arms around her to ward off the chill as she slide her feet into slippers and journeyed into the hall to rouse Mokuba for breakfast so he could get some breakfast before going off to school.

"Mokuba-chan," said Pernia, gently wrapping on his bedroom door. "Time for you to get up and get ready for school."

She smiled faintly when a faint grunt reached her ears followed by mumbling, "I'm up, I'm up."

She continued down the hallway towards the stairway heading in the direction of the kitchen so she could get some breakfast and coffee. She sat at one of the end chairs at the small table and thanked the maid for the coffee, with cream and sugar. She sipped her coffee and stared off into the distance considering what had happened over the past few months. First her husband's supposedly dead father had shown up and revealed some interesting facts about his bloodline and than she had gotten pregnant. She sighed and ran her hands over her face running them through her hair biting down on her lip. Those things were all well and good however, when she had gone into labor the baby had been stillborn and while it had happened months ago it often times seemed like it had just happened yesterday.

"Pernia?" asked Mokuba, coming into the kitchen rubbing the sleep from his eyes and letting out one more yawn; but Pernia could detect a note of concerning coming from the pre-teen's voice.

"What is it Mokuba-chan?" she asked, bringing her mind in for a crash landing and focusing her attention on her younger brother-in-law.

"Nothing," said the younger Kaiba male.

Mokuba stared at the female with a look of concern and wondered why his brother wasn't paying more attention to her after the death of their infant son. He had noticed that both his brother and his sister-in-law were suffering from his death. His brother had started to throw himself into his work more then usual; while his wife was slowly starting to fall apart before his very eyes.

Seto dealt with disappointments by ignoring them. Pernia dealt with disappointments by letting them build up and destroy her.

I've never done anything
That would ever bring a tear to your eye
I've never crossed the line
Or needed an alibi to cover up a lie
But darling I'll admit
They're been times when I could have
The thing that kept me strong
Is the one that is always on my mind

Pernia stood in the doorway of the nursery that would now probably never be used; she wrapped her arms around her for warmth, unable to stand the cold, yet she still stayed rooted in the doorway unable to escape it. There was an oak crib in the corner of the room and directly across from it by a tall window with long white gauze drapes trimmed with lace was a matching rocking chair with a light blue afghan folded neatly and draped over the back. Next to the rocking chair was a matching book shelf filled with baby books and toys. There was a chest made up of the same material that was filled with baby toys and decorated with light blue pillows. Just above the book shelf a few feet up was a shelf filled with stuffed bears, and in the middle a Blue Eyes White Dragon plush. By the wall near the door was the changing table under which were drawers for the baby clothes.

Pernia sighed and ran her hands over the crib's railing and bit her lip trying not to cry; it seemed like all she did lately was cry, eat, and sleep. She could do little else Mokuba seemed alright on his own and would go to his brother or Yugi and them if he needed anything; he didn't seem to need Pernia no one seemed to need her. She left the room shutting the door behind her and continued down the hall to the room she shared with the husband that was now practically a stranger. Removing her morning clothes she stuffed them into a hamper and gathered up some new ones and slipped into the bathroom; turning on the shower.

She stood beneath the spray of the water and let it wash over her pressing her hand against a bare porcelain wall and trying to block the memories of her and Seto making love against it. She didn't need reminders of how things used to be between her and her husband when right now things were not so good. She turned the water on hotter and tried to cleanse her body of the impurity of being unfertile to a husband that would need an heir to the Kaiba Corps. Empire.

"I failed," she whispered, curling up into a small ball. "I failed, I failed, I failed."

Finally her sobs stopped and she slowly got to her feet her body stinging from the pain of the hot shower has she turned the water off, wrapped a towel around her, and staggered out into the steamy bath being careful not to fall. She sighed and collapsed onto the bed and closed her eyes; her mind unwillingly drifting back to her first boyfriend how unlike Seto he opened up to her and she wondered if she made the right choice in choosing to leave him behind in America when she moved to Japan.

Sleep claimed her and for a few hours she was numb to the pain of the world until gentle shaking brought her back and she winced before seating up and seeing the worried looks of Mai and Arora on her bed.

"What are you two doing here?" she asked. "Arora where is Gobaith?"

"She is spending quality time with her Daddy and Uncle Joey. Come on get up and get dressed we figured it might do you some good to go out for awhile."

Pernia thought it over, considering her choices: a) go out with her friends or b) wait for Seto to come home. Against her better judgment she choose the latter and assured her friends; while pushing them out her bedroom door that should she need them they would be the first she would call and then she changed clothes and laid in bed to read while awaiting her lover and husband to return home. She had decided that perhaps they needed to talk to each other about their future.

It was working on one in the morning when Seto came home to find Pernia barely awake.

"Your home," said Pernia, placing her book on the night table and sitting up.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" asked Seto gruffly.

"I wanted to talk to you," said Pernia, watching her husband remove his trench coat, shoes, armbands, and shirt. Seto grunted and turned his back on her to show he was in no mood to talk. "Seto," whispered Pernia, touching his arm.

"Pernia I'm tired," he snapped, glaring at his wife.

"Alright," whispered Pernia, shrinking away from him and roll over to face the wall silent tears falling from her eyes.

Seto cursed and rolled over to face his wife's back, "Pernia." She tensed under his touch and pulled away. "Fine." Seto then rolled back onto his other side and stared out the window watching the rain that had been threatening to let loose come down.

When I think about cheatin'
I just think about you leavin'
And how my world would fall to piece
If I tossed your love away
Even when I'm tempted by some stranger
Oh there's never any danger
I just think about you leavin'
When I think about cheatin'

Pernia awoke to once again find herself alone in the bed; she pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her head on them trying to get her mind to wake up. She glanced at the clock and realized that she had slept in for over an hour and that Mokuba was already at school. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair; perhaps Mai and Arora were right perhaps they needed it would do her some good to get out of the house. Sighing she picked up her phone and dialed Arora's number only to have Yami pick up the phone.

"Is Arora there?" asked Pernia softly.

"Yeah Pernia," said Yami, "hold one a sec and I will get her."

Pernia waited for Yami to wake up his wife while she thought of things she would like to do today.

"Pernia what's wrong sweetie?" asked Arora, coming on the phone.

"I was just wondering if you and Mai would be willing to get together like you two wanted yesterday," said Pernia, wrapping the phone cord around her finger.

"Sure," said Arora, happily with a touch of relief in her voice. "I will call Mai and see you in a bit."

"Okay," said Pernia softly. "I will send the limo to get you guys in a few minutes."

"See you there," said Arora, has the two friends hung up the phone.

Pernia picked the phone up again and pressed a button ringing up the kitchen to order coffee and pancakes and then she called up the limo and asked for a limo to swing by and pick up Mai and Arora. She then climbed out of the bed and hurried to take a quick shower and changed into a nice pair of jeans, a light blue cotton sleeveless shirt, and a light weight, thin white blouse. She secured a tan belt around her small waist and put on some silver and turquoise jewelry. By the time she was finished her breakfast was ready something that she finished quickly and then grabbed a pair of brown boots and hurried out to meet the limo with Arora and Mai waiting inside.

"How are you honey," said Mai, patting Pernia's knee.

"I've been better," said Pernia, "it would help if Seto would talk to me about it."

"Well sweetie," said Mai, gently. "Seto is never one to talk about whatever is bothering him. He is so used to doing things on his own and not letting things get to him that he doesn't realize that women need to talk about things. Of course, his father wasn't the greatest example of tenderness so I guess he can be forgiven. But you need to tell him that you need to talk to each other more."

"Its hard to talk someone when he doesn't want to because he is tired."

"Then go bug him at the office," muttered Arora.

"Yeah," smirked Mai. "It worked great the first time."

"I want to talk to him without sex getting in the way."

"Good luck there," smirked Mai. "Come on girls lets go shopping its great therapy!"

Arora laughed and Pernia just smiled; while Mai tapped on the separation glass to give the driver directions to the nearest mall. The girls had been shopping for the majority of the day and had found some new dresses to wear for their husbands and were now on their way to a club that Mai and Joey used to frequent and still did.

Mai dragged the two of them to a corner booth and ordered Martinis for the three of them.

"I haven't been here in a month," smirked Mai, watching men pass by and give them second looks. "See honey," said Mai, swatting Pernia's arm, "you still got it."

Pernia smiled weakly and shifted in her seat, "I don't think I should be here."

"Its not like you are going to cheat on Seto we are just here to have a few drinks, relax, and maybe dance a few dances," said Mai. "Now my husband trusts me; he just doesn't trust the boys. Which he shouldn't. But the point is, is that none of us have any thoughts what so ever of cheating on our husbands. Now here comes the waiter lets order pasta!"

Pernia and Arora burst into laughter, "Mai!"

Mai preened and ordered the three of them large garlic chicken pasta plates with extra garlic bread. Halfway through their dinner Mai shrieked in delight when one of her favorite songs came on and she dragged Arora out onto the dance floor leaving Pernia to herself. Pernia smiled and watched Mai and Arora dance together to the up beat salsa music.

Pernia froze when a man came and sat beside her draping an arm around the back of her seat. "Can I help you?" she asked inching away from him and wishing she wasn't in a position that was trapping her between this strange man and the wall.

"I saw you come in here with your friends," said the man. "And I couldn't help but notice your beautiful eyes and how they sparkled with a life slowly breaking free. Your laughter is like music to my ears and your skin reminds me of milk."

Pernia froze and listened to the words he was whispering in her ear words that she would prefer to be hearing from Seto. He touched her thigh and she jerked away panicking when he moved forward. Mai came forward and tapped him on the shoulder tapping her foot and crossing her arms and looking rather pissed.

"Hey you what the hell do you think you are doing!" she demanded. "Get the hell out of here before I knee you in the balls."

"Me and the lady were having a conversation," said the male.

Pernia shoved him from the booth and walked over him joining Mai and Arora has they tossed some bills on the table and hurried out the door.

There was a time in Abilene
When he said all the things I wanted to hear
It was hard to turn him down
Between the champagne and the sound of whispers in my ear
But it just took one two step with someone and I was missing you
He never had a chance cause I broke up the dance
Before the song was through

Pernia slipped into her room, placed her bags beside the door, and pulled her clothing and jewelry from her body slipping into a pajama top before crawling into bed. She watched the shadows dance against the wall while waiting for her husband to come home. Finally after what seemed like an eternity he came home and she watched his shadow strip down of everything before climbing into bed. She could feel his eyes on her back and waited for him to say or do something; after awhile she felt his weight shift and knew that he had turned over.

Seto slipped into his bedroom and noticed that his wife had gone shopping; he smiled briefly knowing that getting out of the house had been good for her. Perhaps Mai and Arora had come to claim her and drag her to the mall and perhaps a place that might help her forget their dead child at least for a moment. He tossed his clothing to the side of the bed and climbed, naked, into bed and stared at her back. He was debating on whether or not to wake her up to talk to her, to apologize for what he had said the other night. Finally he sighed and turned around facing the window and closing his eyes intent on falling asleep.

Pernia sighed and rolled over to face his back and reached over to gently touch his arm and moved her face close to his ear and whispered, "I love you Seto." She then rolled back over and closed her eyes intent on falling asleep when Seto rolled over in his sleep and wrapped an arm around her and buried his nose in her hair staying there for the rest of the night.

When I think about cheatin'
I just think about you leavin'
And how my world would fall to pieces
If I tossed your love away
Even when I'm tempted by some stranger
Oh there's never any danger
I just think about you leavin'
When I think about cheatin'