Day 7, week 2, 5th month, year 50

I had a nightmare last night. It was so horrible. I was in this dark room and something was suffocating me. I heard voices, terrible voices. I heard screams and smelled something rotting.

Vanden, his room his next to mine, heard me crying and came in to wake me up. I told him everything. I couldn't keep it all to myself anymore. I told him about all, all of my nightmares, about the Temple, I even told him about the voice, and I told him why I ran away from the Temple. I cried myself back to sleep and Vanden stayed with me for the rest of the night. Vanden talked to me in the morning and asked if I would be able to hide my presence until we leave Coruscant. I said that I think I can but the longer we stay, the more difficult it will become. Vanden seems to understand and he said he won't tell anybody unless I wanted him to.

I tried my best to act normally the rest of the day. Vanden let me try the flight simulators so that I could draw my mind away from my fear and thoughts of the Sith.

Day 1, week 3, 5th month, year 50

We are now orbiting Coruscant. I couldn't eat at all today, I'm so nervous and scared. I stayed in my room all day. Vanden tried to get me to eat something but I just couldn't.

I tried to keep my mind occupied by reading some books on a datapad that Goren had given me on my second day here. I read about two inner rim planets. A novel written by a Bothan and some Alderaanian poems.

Day 2, week 3, 5th month, year 50

I can sense the Sith. I want to go back to the Temple where I was safe. I should not have left. Why didn't I talk to Master Yoda, Master Qui-Gon, or Xanatos? I should have, I should have. I hope we leave Coruscant soon, I don't know if I can bear it for that much longer. I need to get out of here.

Day 3, week 3, 5th month, year 50

A Sith is going to come aboard the ship tomorrow. I don't think I can take this anymore. I told Vanden this and he said that he'll try to think of something.

I keep having nightmares, I can't sleep, and I can't even meditate at all now because I'm so afraid. The voice came back too. He says that I should use my fear to hide myself from the Sith. He said that I am powerful, more powerful then I realize. He also said that if I accepted the darkness that I will be three times as powerful. I told him I would never embrace the darkness. He gave me an alternative. He said he would shield me if I would let him enter my mind. His offer is tempting, to tempting. I wish Kedrick was here, he would help get me out of here.

I'm scared diary. What if I panic when the Sith boards the ship and I draw on the darkness? I talked with Vanden again and he says that he has an idea but will only use his plan if he sees that I can't handle it. He won't tell me what his plan is but I trust him.