PURPOSE by Kiraya
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, it would be decidedly inappropriate for younger audiences. Since that sort of romance isn't quite canon… well, I'm sure you can figure it out.
Warnings: Oodles of spoilerific fun for those who aren't up-to-date on the manga; slightly AU (hey, I can't predict what Kishimoto-sensei's going to do with 'em when they're all grown up). Some blink-and-you'll-miss-it SasuNaru here and there (take it platonically or not… it's up to you).
For this installment specifically… I pulled Konohamaru's characterisation out of ------. Just thought I'd warn you.
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"Hokage-sama," the children chorused, bowing.
Their teacher smiled indulgently. "Go on, get out of here. We'll meet again at the bridge after lunch, all right?" As his three students ran off, he turned back to the other man. "It's been a while, Naruto-'nii-chan."
"It's all right, Konohamaru," replied the blond, grinning. "I understand genin students can be quite a handful. But since you spoke of lunch…" He gestured magnaminously. "Care to join us for some ramen?"
The Sandaime's grandson blinked. "Us— oh." He looked over the Rokudaime's shoulder at his living shadow.
Uchiha Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Um… sure," Konohamaru replied hastily. Falling into step beside the kyuubi's vessel, he whispered, "Why do you let him follow you around? He's not one of our shinobi, not anymore. Surely you could find an ANBU or two to guard you better than an S-class—"
"I'm guarding him as much as he's guarding me." Naruto's face was serious. "Since it's my job to insure the safety and well-being of Konohagakure, Sasuke is my number-one priority."
Konohamaru had nothing to say to that. It had been proven time and time again that Naruto was the only one who could subdue the Uchiha scion in a rage, unless several of the village's finest jounin and ANBU were removed from more important duties.
"Besides," the blond added, smirking, "he throws a fit whenever anyone tries to change things. He's as bad as an old mother hen… if mother hens go around regularly trying to peck their chicks to death." He chuckled.
Konohamaru glanced nervously back at the black-haired man.
Sasuke's eyes had gone flat, and he was glaring bloody murder at the village's new leader.
Oh shit.
"Well," came a voice, "fancy this. Snotty little kids running the village, with S-class criminals serving as their bodyguards…" An overdone sigh. "I think that old biddy must've finally lost it completely."
"Ero-sen'nin!" Naruto yelled, storming up to the white-haired man sitting at the ramen stand. "Don't talk like that! I said I'd become Hokage, and I worked my ass off and did it!" He shook his fist in the old man's face. "You'd better listen to me!"
"Huh." Jiraiya stared down his nose at the blond. "Still just as loud and stupid as the Yondaime was, eh, brat?" He shook his head. "Well, whatever. Sit down and we'll catch up over a bowl or two of ramen. Your treat," he added, grinning.
Naruto scowled at that, but sat down anyway, gesturing for his companions to do the same.
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"…and to think they're calling us the Elder San'nin now!" Jiraiya sighed dramatically. "It makes one feel like an old geezer, it does…"
"But you are an old geezer, Ero-sen'nin," the new Hokage pointed out, grinning around the last of his fourth bowl of ramen.
The white-haired hermit smacked him upside the head. "Idiot," he grumbled, but he smiled as he said it.
"If you're the Elder San'nin, Jiraiya-sama," Konohamaru put in hesitantly, still casting worried glances at Sasuke, who hadn't taken his angry eyes off Naruto yet, "there must be— that is, who are the Younger San'nin?"
"Oh," the old man said carelessly, "just a few old students of ours. Nothing particularly spectacular."
Konohamaru mulled the thought over as he finished the last of his ramen. "Gochisou-sama," he sighed, pleasantly full, and rose. "I've got a few students of my own to go whip into shape." He nodded at them. "Later."
"Good luck, Konohamaru!" Naruto called after him, waving with his chopsticks.
Sasuke, who had remained silent throughout the meal, slammed down his bowl and stood up. "Old mother hen?" he ground out.
Blue eyes stared at him, full of mischievous laughter. "You have to admit you really do act like it sometimes… Sasuke-'kaa-chan."
The Uchiha's dark eyes flashed dangerously. "You are so going down for that," he declared.
The blond smirked. "You'll have to catch me first," he jeered.
They disappeared so fast that the empty bowls rattled in the wake of their passing.
Jiraiya stared after them in bemusement. "San'nin, my ass," he snorted, picking up his sake. "We were never that fucking crazy."
He paused with the cup halfway to his lips.
"…Then again, I guess we were."
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End Act V. 7 December 2004.