Chapter 13

Shego remained oddly silent most of the way back to her room. Over and over again, she told that blasted voice inside of her head to shut up and leave her alone! No luck there, Shego told herself with a weary sigh.

The voice continued. Listen up, Stephanie…I've already told you I'm not going to go away. I'm here, and I'm sticking around.

And why, pray tell, won´t you just go away and leave me alone? Shego retorted, a part of her not believing she was waging a mental battle with herself.

Simple, really. Because you need me. You need me to take care of you, that's why, the voice patiently reiterated.

I can take care of myself! Shego countered, bristling. I don't need you!

Oh, really? Then care to tell me why you're even here in the first place? If you can take care of yourself---as you say---then why are you wanted in eleven countries right now? Hmm?

Shego seethed, but couldn't counter that.

Now, the voice continued on, unrelenting. If you stopped being so ornery and stubborn, you'd listen to me and let Kim help you. Then, maybe you´ll see that things might become a good deal more easy for you. Shoot, you might even get the chance to enjoy yourself, kiddo…

Shego chose to try to ignore the voice as best as she could. Her internal strife was temporarily interrupted when she realized she was no longer looking at Kim in front of her. She blinked, then noticed that Kim now walked beside her, matching her step-for-step.

Kim managed a small smile for Shego sake, who merely glared back at her. "So…you going to be the strong silent type the rest of your stay, Steph?" Kim questioned, her green eyes searching.

"Uh-uh. Even you know, Kimmie, that no one can be silent for the rest of their life," Shego answered back, her expression stormy.

Kim sighed at Shego's show of stubbornness. "Really now, Stephanie…it's not all that bad here, is it? C'mon…give us a chance to help you. We can, you know," Kim told her, attempting to persuade her.

Shego glowered, and crossed her arms defensively. "Look, Kimmie…I don´t need help…yours or otherwise, okay? I was just fine with the life I had up til now."

Actually, the voice pointed out to the oh-so-stubborn Shego, no, you weren't. You were miserable…and you know it.

Shego groaned, gritting her teeth with frustration.

Kim looked at the girl beside her, who had her eyes closed tightly and her lips thinned. "Um, let me take a guess, Steph. You're starting to realize just what that pendant of yours is doing, right?" Kim said smiling.

Shego's eyes snapped open in surprise, and she looked stunned over at the smiling Kim.

"Now, I can´t explain what's going on in much detail---that's my friend Wade's job---but near as I can figure out, your pendant has the ability to make use of all that hate you have stored up, to um, er, sort of motivate you away from evil and toward a very different path, one toward good." Kim thought a moment, then shrugged, continuing. "Essentially it channels your negative energy, converting it over enhance that budding conscience of yours."

Shego's mouth dropped open a moment, then she recovered and continued to glower at Kim, who ignored her, thank you very much.

"Now, Wade made every pendant function the same, mind you…only the more evil and hate a person possesses within themselves, the quicker their conscience will grow and reassert itself," Kim explained. "That sound about right, Stephanie?"

Shego groaned, thinking it made sense all right, way too much sense. "Great," she grumbled, "absolutely wonderful."

Kim smiled and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Hey, don´t worry, Steph, get to trust that voice…it really is your friend. She's just trying to help you to---"

"SHUT! UP!" Shego screeched, her eyes blazing, green flame erupting from each of her clenched fists. "Just shut up already!"

Kim lifted an eyebrow at this display, quickly reassuring the two guards who made a move toward Shego. Shego was turned away from Kim, still distinctly troubled, glaring off into space, her face a storm. A moment passed, and a very sheepish-looking Shego turned back to Kim, unable to meet her gaze.

"I wasn't yelling at you," she told Kim in a very quiet voice.

"Ah," Kim answered, realizing Shego's outburst was a vocalization of her internal combat with her own conscience. "So…what was your conscience saying?" Kim asked, very patiently.

Shego looked away quickly, her long braid whirling lazily up and over her shoulder. "I-It said…t-that you really looked at me as a…friend. A friend in need, it called you. Someone who wanted to help me," Shego confessed in a small voice. "And…that, well, if I could tell you…um, just what it was I always dreamt of doing, you w-would, I mean, might be able to help me achieve it."

Kim could tell just how hard that admission had been for the oh-so-proud Shego to say, and Kim was impressed, and not a little touched. "C'mon, Steph…is it really so hard to believe I'd want to help you?" Kim asked, bluntly yet sincerely.

Shego chanced a quick look at Kim, but then looked down and away before Kim could meet her glance. She then sighed heavily before continuing. "Look. My whole life's been one big disappointment, okay?" Shego gathered her courage, and looked over to Kim. "Hey, when you've been disappointed as many times as I have, you stop believeing in much of anything, all right? You don´t dare hope that things can change…because if you do…" Shego went silent after that, not willing to admit how much each disappointment had hurt her. And, they had indeed, scaring the girl she had once been.

Kim said nothing just then, allowing Shego some quiet time to deal with her new situation. Before too long though, they both suddenly realised they were now before Shego's room door. Kim stepped forward and opened the door as she usually did, allowing Shego inside. But, before she could make it totally inside, Kim spoke up. "Listen Steph," she began, "I´ll let you go for now…but before I do, I want to ask you one thing."

Shego looked back over her shoulder at her. "Yeah? What?" she muttered, though her eyes were curious.

"What was it that you always wanted to do with your life? What was your dream?" Kim asked.

"My childhood dream?" Shego asked as a way of understanding.

Kim just nodded affirmatively.

Shego sighed, then shook her head. "No…you'll just think it's dumb," Shego hedged.

Go on…tell her, the voice inside her head urged. Tell you what…you tell her and I won´t bother you again the rest of the day. Deal?

Shego knew a good deal when she spotted one, and nodded her head. "Okay, Kimmie. Here it is: I always wanted to be an entertainer. You know, singing and dancing, that sort of thing," Shego admitted, her eyes getting dreamy. "Myself standing up on center stage, singing and dancing in front of thousands, coming to an rousing end with the roar of applause and fans screaming my name."

Kim smiled at that, having had such dreams herself once upon a time.

The dreamy look suddenly was extinguished in Shego dark eyes, and as Kim blinked, Shego continued, her voice no longer excited, but harsh and dull. "But, oh no! My brothers---you remember them, right?---well, they said that my destiny was one thing, and one thing only: a crime fighter. They said that people with powers like mine weren't supposed to throw them away on such a mundane thing as a career in singing and entertaining." She paused then, trying to hide her hurt behind her ever present sneering façade. She looked up into Kim's face, and was embarrassed to see a look of concern there. "Hey, I don't need your pity, Possible. So, I answered your question. So now you know. So, now you can leave," Shego growled.

Kim smiled again, and nodded once before turning around to leave, closing the cell door behind her.

Shego sighed and sat down on her bed, holding her head in her hands. Happy now? she asked the voice, her voice trembling slightly.

Question is, Pumpkin…are you? The voice asked in a strangely sympathetic tone.

Shego blinked and sat up, having never been asked that question before. No one asked if she, Shego, was happy. Her brothers only asked if she was ready, ready to do her duty. Drakken had asked only pretty much the same thing. Shego sat there that moment, and examined her feelings…possibly for the first time in a very long time. In truth, she did feel rather good after finally getting the chance to tell someone exactly what it was that had bothered her for so long now. Yes, she finally concluded, directing her thoughts to the voice in her head. You know…I do feel better. Better than I have for a while.

Why, then, dear…I'm happy, the voice answered, and as it had promised, feel silent. Shego, however, couldn't help but feel the sense of smug satisfaction the silent voice still seemed to radiate within her head…

Kim couldn't help but grin a small grin, as she headed back to the rehab room to retrieve and escort Drakken. She smiled again as she imagined a happy buoyant Shego, up on a stage singing her heart out. "Can't promise you won't ever be disappointed again, Steph. But, you can be sure of one thing, girl…I won´t let you down. I promise. You'll get your chance to be what you always dreamed of being. That much, I can assure you, my friend…" Kim said aloud softly, to herself.