He remembered stepping through the gate into Atlantis. The rush of adrenaline and the way his heart had thumped in his chest.
He remembered Teyla's smile as he told her he loved a good cup of tea, and the way she had said he didn't look through her.
He remembered the way Sumner had looked at him, asking him to shoot. Pulling the trigger had been the hardest thing he had ever had to do.
He remembered jamming the Wraith weapon deep into the Keeper's belly, wanting her to die. Wanting the life to be sucked out of her the way she had sucked the life out of Sumner.
He remembered other things in fragments.
Steve dying. An old Weir dying. Their own people dying in an epidemic. Another Wraith dead, but more of their own lost as well.
And he remembered the city rising and how alive he had felt in that moment.
And the shadows that surrounded John began to slide away. The last image to shimmer in his head was of himself, standing on the balcony where his other self had stood. Staring out onto the water as the sunlight shimmered on the surface and warmed his skin.
And then he heard the voices clearly.
"...he'll never wake up?"
"I didn't say that. I said I can't give you a time frame."
"I know that, Carson. I just...it's hard to be patient. We need him."
John smiled to hear Elizabeth say that. "I'm here," he whispered, but his voice was so soft and hoarse he wondered if they heard him. But when he opened his eyes and blinked hard, their faces loomed into focus over him. "Hey." John coughed and tried to sit up.
Carson helped him ease up against the pillows. "There's water on the stand," he told Weir.
She grabbed the glass and held the straw to Sheppard's lips.
He took a few sips then pulled back. "Thanks." Cleared his throat a few times and it was better. John looked at them both and managed a shaky smile. "Scared you?" he guessed.
"You have a way of doing that, major," Elizabeth allowed. "How do you feel?"
"Tired." John stretched a bit and realized he felt sore as well. He tried to hide a wince but failed.
Carson locked eyes with him. "Describe what hurts?"
John sighed. "Everything. I'm just aching and sore, like I ran a marathon or something. It's nothing." He hoped he was telling the truth. But then he remembered something and he turned to Weir. "Tim? Rodney?"
"Tim is dead and Rodney is fine," Weir stated. "Thanks to you. I'm sorry that I didn't believe you, John. But you have to understand where I was coming from."
"I do." John let himself relax back against the pillows now that he knew Rodney was okay. He was glad about Tim being dead as well. The creature was another enemy they would have to look out for. "I'm sure I seemed crazy," he continued, managing a slight smile.
Carson patted his shoulder. "You have no idea, laddie. And the worst part is knowing how dangerous you could be if you were."
John knew that their fears had been justified, given the situation. He didn't care about that anymore. "So...when can I get out of here?" So much had happened and there were so many disjointed thoughts in his head. He wanted to discuss them with Rodney. He knew no one else would understand. At least not yet. Truth be told, John wasn't sure he understood it himself. His thoughts were chaotic and there was so much he needed to work out. He knew what had happened to him was important to the future of Atlantis.
"Don't be in such a rush to get out of here," Carson chided him. "You're not up to speed and you won't be for a while. You need to rest and you'll be glad you did." To the latter statement he added a warning glare.
"I've been resting long enough, don't you think?" John argued. "I feel fine." It was a bit of a lie because he felt worn out but there was so much he needed to do.
Weir patted his shoulder. "I need you one hundred percent, John. So do what the doctor orders. That's an order." She smiled to take the sting out of her words.
John sighed and was ready to protest, but anything he might have said was stifled by a jaw-cracking yawn. He covered his mouth then gave both Weir and Beckett a sheepish grin. "Guess I am tired."
"Let your body revive itself in its own time," Carson advised. "Take a nap and when you wake up I'll get you something to eat. Unless you want something now."
"No...I'm not hungry." Food was the last thing on John's mind. He felt his eyelids drifting closed and didn't fight it. He needed to be sharp and clear about what had happened and what it all meant, so he let himself slip off to sleep.
When John woke again, Beckett caught him trying to sneak out and threatened to restrain him again. So John behaved and stayed put, since one of the nurses kept watch on him. A huge tray of food was set before him and John waded through it, giving up about a third of the way through and earning a scowl from Beckett. He smiled back at the doctor, and asked about Rodney. John was told that McKay was working on something but would be by soon. And that he had visited twice while John had slept again. This time for almost ten hours. Some nap. While John waited for Rodney to appeared, he chatted with his other visitors, including Teyla and Ford and even Bates. Weir popped in as well. By the time he was left alone again, he felt ready for another nap and was almost dozing off when he heard a familiar voice.
"What do you mean visiting hours are over? This isn't a real hospital? Besides...Carson told me I could pop in anytime." Rodney sounded a bit smug.
John grinned to listen to him then he heard footsteps approaching. "Hey, Rodney," he greeted him.
Rodney looked pleased to see him. "Major. You look better."
"I feel better." It was the truth. Even though he was still tired, John felt less worn out. "How are you doing?" John knew that Rodney had experienced quite the traumatic ordeal and he felt rather bad that everyone was fussing over him when Rodney was the one who had truly suffered.
"I'm...fine." Rodney looked surprised to be asked. "I'm not the one who connected with an alien. Speaking of which...can I ask you something?"
John nodded. "You can ask me anything."
Rodney smirked. "Right. But will you answer?"
"That's a maybe." John was happy to be bantering with Rodney again. It meant things were back to normal. Or as normal as it could get in Atlantis. John had pretty much cast normal to the wayside the moment he entered the Stargate back on Earth.
"Why did you do it?" Rodney blurted out, his expression rather grim.
John frowned. "Do what?"
Rodney paced a bit, wringing his hands. "Why did you offer to trade yourself to that creature?"
"To save you." John didn't hesitate to reply.
"Why?" Rodney stopped pacing and moved to the side of the bed, locking his eyes on Sheppard's face.
John could feel the intensity of Rodney's gaze and he knew that the question was important to Rodney. "You're worth saving," He said softly. "And you would have done the same for me."
Rodney shook his head. "I doubt it. You went through hell."
"That's what friends do."
"Heh...I wouldn't no." Rodney went back to pacing. "I've never had a friend. Not a real friend. I don't do friends...you know?"
John nodded. He understood. "Well...now you have a friend. If you want."
Rodney shrugged. "Guess it won't hurt to see how it goes. I'm sure to piss you off to the point where you want to shoot me again."
"So?" John blinked at him, putting on his best innocent face while trying hard not to laugh.
"So...thanks." Rodney wasn't laughing.
John let his own smile fade. "For what?"
Rodney looked at him, directly. "For saving my life."
"You're welcome." John knew that this would be enough, and that it was time to change the subject. Neither one of them were comfortable with emotional issues. "Can I tell you something?"
"Is it something stupid?" Rodney was smirking now.
John made a face at him and this felt better. But at the same time he knew that he could trust Rodney with this. "It's about Tim and what happened while you were...sleeping."
Rodney pulled up the stool and sat down. "I'm listening."
So John told him about how Tim had touched him and he had relieved the past in those moments. How he had stood on Atlantis long ago. About the battle and the blond woman and how Tim's race had fought the Lantean's in the form of the Wraith.
"Sounds creepy," Rodney said when Sheppard was finished. And he shuddered as he said it.
"It was." John could easily flash back to the memories. They hadn't faded the way he thought they would have. "You know...at first I thought Tim and his kind were another enemy for us to look out for."
Rodney rolled his eyes. "Well...duh. He's definitely a bad guy." Another shudder went through him.
John knew that Rodney was relieving what he had experienced in his comatose-like state. "I'm not so sure that's true now," he continued. "I think maybe he was warning me. But why?"
"Who cares?" Rodney got up and started pacing again, as if working off nervous energy. "The thing is dead. End of story."
"What if it's just the beginning?" John had been thinking about this. Dreaming about it even and he wanted to see if he was crazy or not. And he knew that Rodney would be honest with him. "What if Tim's kind were afraid of the Wraith and wanted our help. Maybe that's what he was trying to do all along. Get us to help him?"
Rodney did not look convinced. "He could have tried asking first."
John shrugged. He didn't really have an answer for that and he could understand Rodney feeling the way he did after everything that had happened.
"I'm glad he's dead!" Rodney's tone was sharp and almost defensive.
"I know." John would not argue the point. "But he showed me something."
Rodney hesitated and a glimmer of curiosity showed on his face. "What?"
John threw back the covers and slid his legs over the side of the bed. He was almost on his feet when a hand pressed against his chest to forestall him. "Let me up," John groused, trying to dislodge Rodney's hand. But he was still somewhat weakened and Rodney had a weight advantage that he was putting to good use.
"You're supposed to be resting."
"I've been resting for days. I'm tired of resting." John locked eyes with Rodney. "I have something to show you. Something important."
Rodney grimaced but pulled back, allowing Sheppard to stand up. He looked down. "You're wearing socks."
John had been looking around for his clothes but that stopped him. "So?"
"You're the only person I know who doesn't wear socks with his boots but wears them to bed?"
"I'm unique." John continued searching for something to wear other than the bright red scrubs that served as hospital attire on Atlantis. He would stand out like a sore thumb.
Rodney watched him. "What are you doing?"
John glared at him. "I need clothes."
"Try your room." Rodney rolled his eyes at the look Sheppard gave him. "Puh...lease, major. Carson is on to you. He won't let anyone bring you clothing because you might try to escape. And look...he was right."
"Shut up, Rodney." John was grinning as he said it. "Trust me...you're going to want to see this."
Rodney sighed as if put upon. "Fine, but if we get caught I'm so turning you in."
John didn't care. He gestured for Rodney to check the outer room and when Rodney signaled it was clear, they headed out.
"Where are we going?" Rodney asked, as they stepped out of the transporter, a few minutes later.
"Back to the chamber." John felt Rodney screech to a halt. He turned around and saw that the scientist was pale. "You okay?"
Rodney shook his head. "I'm not going back there. Forget it!" He was shaking.
John wanted to smack himself for being so clueless. "Sorry. I wasn't thinking. You don't have to come with me."
"No…I'll go." Rodney didn't sound very certain, but he started moving again, surging past Sheppard.
"You okay?" John asked, as he jogged to catch up.
Rodney shook his head. "No. But I'm not letting you go back there alone."
John gripped Rodney's shoulder, stopping them both. "Tim is dead. He can't hurt you again, Rodney."
"I know that...mostly." Rodney cleared his throat. "Look...if we're going to do this then let's do it. I'm sure Carson has put out an APB for you already."
"Good point." John winced then headed off with Rodney a step behind.
They reached the chamber room and entered slowly. The images from John's dream were very clear and he moved into the enclosed chamber and headed for the table. He realized Rodney had lagged behind. John turned to look at him. "You okay?"
Rodney shrugged. "Maybe. What did you want to show me?"
"This." John jumped up on the table, stretched out and closed his eyes. He heard Rodney move closer and a hand touched his arm. John looked at him. "I'm fine. Watch." He closed his eyes again, focused, and felt himself reaching out to the city. And then it happened. He made the connection and John felt his body begin to tingle.
"Major..." Rodney began, only he fell silent as a silvery light formed around Sheppard. And then it happened. The chamber came alive. The very walls began to glow with light and Rodney could feel vibrations under his feet. "Oh...my...God." He was wearing his ear piece and there was a crackle of static and then,
"Rodney? Are you there?" Weir's tone was sharp.
Rodney tapped his ear. "I'm here and…yes…Major Sheppard is with me."
A moment of silence then Weir said, "What's going on, Rodney? Everything is lighting up...everywhere. It's like the city is coming alive."
"It is," Rodney whispered.
"Do you know why? Or how?"
Rodney looked at Sheppard's still form. "Yeah...I've got a good idea."
A snort from Weir's end. "Care to share it?"
"I'll check in with you soon and explain everything. Maybe." Rodney tapped off then reached out to touch Sheppard, his hand moving through the light and it felt warm and almost tingly. "Cool," Rodney whispered, as he realized what this meant. Major Sheppard was the key to powering Atlantis. He touched the major's shoulder and watched as john's eyes opened. "Are you okay?" Rodney asked, wondering if Sheppard could hear him.
"I'm good." As he spoke, John sat up and the light continued to glow around him. He looked at the chamber then at Rodney. "So...what do you think?"
Rodney almost smiled. "I think I'm jealous."
John chuckled. "Besides that. Can we use this to fight the Wraith?"
"That depends. What else can you do?"
"Let's find out, shall we?" John countered. And when Rodney smiled back, for the first time since he had awakened the Wraith, John felt hope for the future of Atlantis.
THE END