Disclaimer: I don't own East of Eden. The book belongs to John Steinbeck, and the movie belongs to Warner Brothers. So, yeah. I wish I owned James Dean. I wish life was fair, but it's not. Oh, well. But I really wish Dean was alive.

Author's Notes: OK, so this bears a bit of explanation. This is highly AU. The night his dad rejected his gift, Cal just went to Monterey alone and got drunk. Aron never found out about his mother, and therefore the whole "Aron went crazy and Adam had a stroke" thing did not happen. Aron and Abra are married. (I know. The sucky things our muses make us do!)

Not to be Loved

Abra Trask was sitting in her father-in-law's front yard, holding her infant son. Her husband, Aron, was talking to his father like the good son that he was. His brother, Cal, was sitting... actually, more like sprawling... in a chair, his hands deep in his pockets. When Abra looked at Cal, he looked at his feet. But she knew he'd been looking at her, giving her that hungry animal look that scared her so much.

But Abra wished that it wasn't wrong for him. She looked at him again, and this time, he looked up at her. Their eyes locked for a moment, unseen by Adam and Aron, who were discussing the economy. The look in Cal's eyes made Abra ache. She wanted to cry. As they shared in the moment, Abra saw only Cal. She could think of nothing but the times they'd spent together. She thought of the night he'd kissed her on the Ferris wheel, and when his father had refused his gift. And then, she saw herself comforting Cal. Then, she thought of her wedding to Aron, and how she'd vowed to love him, knowing deep down that she loved Cal. And as she thought of the baby in her arms, she hated herself, because she knew that it should have been Cal's child, and not Aron's.

"Abra?" Aron's voice broke into her thoughts. She almost hated him for it.

"Yes, Aron?"

"Are you all right?" he asked, sounding alot like Adam.

Abra looked back at Cal again, only for a second, so Aron wouldn't see. Cal looked away, feeling as if she'd refused him all over again.

So Abra turned to Aron and lied. "Yes, Aron. I'm fine."

Cal stood from his chair, walked into the house, and slammed the door.

The End