Claude found himself in the kitchen at three am. He took a large yawn and looked for something to drink. Having an automatic need for a snack made him search the cabinets. He found a bag of green poison. He laughed quietly to himself: Tommy's stash. He found it.
Minutes later Claude found himself on ground if front of the coffee table, the room filled with smoke. He was string at a banana and cracking up. He couldn't stop laughing, just the word 'banana' made him laugh. It had three A's in it and it was hilarious.
When he was finished he opened a window and put the remaining dope back in the cabinet. On his way back to bed, he heard a knock on the door. He looked at the door and waited for a conformation knock, to know that it wasn't just his imagination. The knocking continued.
Claude walked over to the door, the knocking still persisting. He opened the door to see a figure of a man behind a large white light, giving him a silhouette (a long hymn playing).
The light shined around him as if he were a god. Claude realized that he was floating, in a trans-like position with his legs crossed. The music stopped and he spoke in a raspy, unclear voice, "I am the all mighty ryando. Bow down to my bung hole!"
Claude gave him the finger.
"Are you threatening me? Bow down to the almighty bung hole! For there is but one bunghole!"
Claude picked up his chalk board and wrote, "Fuck you, asshole!"
"Are you threat-" Claude slammed the door, opened a window and went to bed.
That GTA Show! Episode II
The smell of bacon filled the air, filtering through the house and into Carl's bedroom. The smell called to him, he saw his girlfriends Katie's face saying, "Get up Carl, I have something special I want to show you, just get a cup of hot coffee, and we'll get to work."
This subliminal message led him down the hall, half-asleep walking like a lifeless zombie. The hallway was dark, leading into the kitchen where the bright morning light lit up the room. Carl walked into the kitchen and sat down at the dining table, next to the window overlooking the street. He fell asleep there.
Tommy was at the stove, facing opposite the windows, staring at Claude over the Bar-like counter to Tommy' left. Claude was entertaining himself with the remote control, flipping through every channel every half-second.
When he was finished, Tommy took the pan of bacon off of the stove. He turned around to se Carl awakening. "What?" He asked the invisible person next to him. He blinked and said, "Oh."
Carl got up ready to walk into the living room, when the open window caught his attention. He walked over to it and stared out of it. Carl had a strange obsession with open windows. He stuck his head out of it and enjoyed the cool city air. A big smile crossed his face. He was in his happy-place. Just as he got his natural high, his face turned white. He took his head out of the window and Claude pointed and laughed.
Tommy joined the laughter, pointing as well. "Haha! A bird shit on you!"
Carl ran out of the room in humiliation, running for the bathroom.
A few minutes passes. Tommy was getting worried, he went to go look for Carl and found him sitting on his bed. "Oh Carl. I'm sorry. We didn't mean it."
Carl turned his face, "Good day."
"But Carl,"
"I said GOOD DAY!" He said putting up his hand. Carl walked out of the room. Tommy followed him to the kitchen, heading to the open window.
Next to the window was a piece of paper pinned to the wall that read, "Beware of bird shit" Carl took this offensively, turning to Claude who was playing with the remote.
"Fuck you Claude."
Claude gave him the finger. Tommy walked over to Claude to watch some TV, holding a piece of bacon. He looked at Carl who was still at the window. He had an idea, to see Carl in pain. He looked at a decorative marble ball that sat on the table. He took turns glancing at Carl then the ball. He continued a dozen times, debating weather he should hurt Carl, it wasn't very friendly, but it was always funny to see friends in pain. Tommy had made up his mind.
He picked up the ball and tapped Claude on the shoulder. He pointed at the ball then Carl, Claude shook his head, smiling. Tommy prepared himself to throw the ball. "Hey Carl! Think fast!"
The ball left his hand, heading toward Carl at twenty miles an hour.
Carl turned to see what Tommy was talking about. The ball flew right past his head, outside.
Carl looked outside.
Thud.
"OOOWWW!" A pedestrian below screamed.
"Holy shit Tommy! I think you killed him!"
"Get out of the window then! Dumbass!"
Carl closed the window, "Phew!"
Later that day, they got a call from the Truth, he had just gotten something that they should 'take a look at'. The found themselves walking over to his place, on the other side of Staunton Island. They made a quick 'exchange' and ended up walking home with a backpack…
Along the way back, they passed by Bellville Park. Tommy was in front with the backpack, Carl back on his right, Claude on his left.
"What the?"
"Holy crap!"
Claude wrote on his board: 'Oh my god!' In front of them was a wad of money. Tommy picked it up.
"How much do you think is in their?"
"I-I don't know. Let's get home and count it." The three sprinted home. Carl fell down twice. After arriving, they spread the money out on the coffee table, and put their 'stash' away.
After many arguments on who should count it, they all did. Claude counted 2,600. Tommy counted 2,600. Carl counted 6,200. The decision was made that it was 2,600 and the money was stashed away.
The next day Claude and Tommy took a hundred dollars and went out to eat without telling Carl. When they got back Carl was gone. Tommy and Claude sat down and started watching TV.
The door burst open and Carl was screaming. "Guess what guys? I bought a spa!"
Tommy and Claude jumped up. "WHAT?" Claude threw his hands around, he stomped into the bedroom. "Are you mental Carl! Why the hell would you go blow all our money on something we can't use? God, you're, you're such a dumbass!"
"Well. No-The guy talked me into it… He said it'd help get chicks."
"You dumbass! You have a girlfriend!"
"Yeah… So…"
"That's it. Claude get out here! We're going to kick his ass!" Claude ran out of the room holding a bat, Tommy and Claude ran after Carl, who dashed out of the door. The chase didn't go the far. Carl tripped and almost fell down the stair case, while the others each gave him one good whack of the bat. He apologized and came back inside.
The three were sitting around the TV, holding beers.
"So what are we going to do about the spa?" Tommy asked.
"Oh, well maybe we could put it on the roof."
"Dumbass."
'Maybe we should sell it back to the guy, Carl do you have the receet?' Claude wrote down, not knowing how to spell receipt.
"Yeah."
"Okay. That's the plan. Let's celebrate."
The apartment once again filled with smoke as the three were sitting around the coffee table, laughing their heads off. Suddenly things became serious.
"You know something. I thinks it's about time I break up with Katie."
"Why?"
"She asked me to come over again man, and I DO NOT like walking."
"Hey guys. What if he won't buy the spa back?"
"He will, he will don't worry." Carl assured him.
"You know what would be fun to do? To throw the spa off of the roof."
"No! You know what would be really cool… throwing a TV off of the roof!"
"Wow Carl… You outwitted me for once." Tommy admitted.
"Let's do it!"
The three were on the roof holding their TV. "This is going to be AWESOME!" Claude wrote.
"Okay, okay ready? One two three!" The TV rolled off of the edge, tumbling to the ground. It slightly shattered, but was still intact.
"That was awesome!" Carl screamed.
"Wait, wait look!" A bunch of hobos were trying to steal the broken TV. Down below they were fighting for it, punching and kicking, and stabbing with knives until on urinated on it, then nobody would touch it. He walked off holding a smelly, wet, new broken TV.
"Ah ,man." Carl pointed down, "Hobos ruin everything!"
'Yea let's go.' Claude wrote.
They returned to their apartment to watch TV. They were watching the hit show, 'Liberty City Survivor'
"WHAT! WHERE'S MY TV?" The neighbor shouted.
A/N: Burn ryando!