A/N: Huttah! Second chapter! Thank you for all you're lovely reviews!

Kiwi: Thank you. The doors actually wind up with a surprisingly large part in the story. Not that large, but considering that they're doors...

HurriCanine: Marvin/Eddie all started with an English assignment involving bringing in our favorite love poem/song. I brought it "Marvin I Love You" and was constantly asked who was singing it so I said "Eddie." I'm glad you liked my art, I'll try to put more up soon

Vogon Jeltz: Thank you. I'm trying to update weekly, but I have something to do this week end so this update's early and another might be later.

Tomo223: Thanks! Are you sure there's a lot more funny stuff to come?

Spphreak: I'm glad you're enjoying it. H2G2 is such a small fandom, it's sometimes hard to get your slash fix.

As everyone knows, the more alcohol you drink, the more people want to talk to you. However, everyone shows this desire in a different way. The "hard to get" talker will walk away and say "stop following me," in an effort to get you to engage in conversation. The "cold shoulder" talker will completely ignore you so you don't feel that you're missing their side of the conversation. And the "foreign" talker will not speak your language and not have a babel fish so that you have to speak louder and slower to make sure they understand you. But, no matter how they show it, everyone wishes to hear what you have to say after having had five or more drinks.

Zaphod was determined to prove this true. He had walked around the bar, stopping to talk to everything that he knew to be female or strongly suspected of being female. Some were nice and told him to leave before they did unpleasant things to his favorite organ. Others were nicer and gave him free beer. However, they seemed to not know that he didn't drink by absorbing fluid through his skin, so they poured the drinks on him.

Growing tired from his constant female, or probably female, attention, he sat at the bar after making a statement that all ladies could form a line and he would get back to them after a drink or seven.

"Man, it's so hard to keep the ladies off me," said Zaphod's right head. His left one was winking at what he suspected to be the line of women who wanted to talk to him.

"Yes, I can see that," said the man next to him. He was fairly humanoid with saucer-sized eyes that never blinked, and he was almost completely bald with just enough hair that he was technically balding.

Zaphod might have considered that sarcasm if he was sober enough to register it as such. "Yeah, I mean, I try to get a drink and they're all, 'Oh Zaphod-baby, could you dance with me one more time?' And, normally I'd say yes, but at the moment I really just want to drink."

"Yes, of course." He seemed to be the type of person that found it amusing to hear what drunken people had to say.

"So…what're….what're you doing here?" The way Zaphod said this suggested that he had known this person since they were children, they had been the best of friends in school and he wanted to check up on how things had been since then.

"Looking for someone."

"Ah…who?" The tone now suggesting that he was referring to a cheerleader that the man had always had his eye on back in the day.

"Not anyone in particular--"

"Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say-no-more." Zaphod was giving the man a drunken grin that might have been implying something but the message was unclear due to the sheer drunkenness of it.

"Err no…not like that. I'm looking to see if there's anyone who will allow me to perform certain services for money."

With the same grin on his face, Zaphod responded. "Well, I'm sure you could find many people willing to allow you to perform 'services' in exchange for money."

"No no! Not like that! I would be the one paying them!"

"Are you really that bad?"

"Wait, I see my error, let me start again. I'm looking for people willing to let me perform mechanical services in exchange for money."

"Well, I can see why you're paying them now." Zaphod scooted over.

"NOT THAT KIND OF SERVICE!"

"Well, what other kind is there?"

"Repair! Repair service! Zarqon! You've got two heads and not a brain between them!"

Just as Zaphod was about to take offense, his next drink showed up and he forgot the meaning of the word.

"So, a repair service. What are you repairing and why are you paying?"

"Well, not so much 'repairing' as 'altering'."

"Ok…'altering'. What are you 'altering' and why are you paying?"

"Glad you asked! I'm working on ship-computer separation."

"What?"

"Ship-computer separation. That way you can know the status of your ship no matter where you are since the computer is with you. It's really simple. You create a body for the computer, then transfer all the memories from the computer into the body. But, here's the tricky part. You then have to create a link between the external body and the ship. It's not so much tricky as it is annoying…"

Not being interested, Zaphod used this time to draw stick figure versions of himself and Trillian engaged in interesting activities.

Well, you know what they say, speak of the devil. . .And tonight, Trillian will be playing the

part of the devil. To prove this true, Trillian put her hand on Zaphod's shoulder and said, "What are you doing?"

One of his heads looked at her while the other checked his surroundings to find the answer to the question. A guy that seemed to be talking to him, half a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, and some obscene doodle.

"Is that a trick question?"

"Perhaps I could help. My name is Chabok. I was telling your friend about a service I'm offering. Perhaps you would be interested."

Zaphod was too drunk to have pride and started to giggle. Trillian took this as a bad sign. "Err…no that's ok."

"For the last time! MECHANICAL service! You know! Robots! Androids! Ships! Services for them!"

Zaphod placed both heads on the counter and continued to laugh like a madman.

"Oh! Hmmm…" Trillian began, having mentally smacked herself for listening to the implications of a drunken Zaphod. "What form of mechanical service?"

Chabok gave a sigh of relief. "Thank you. I'm conducting a ship-computer separation test. Other tests as well, external sensors, androids, those sorts of things. Interested? There's money for participants."

"Well, there's something we need… I suppose I could show you the ship and robot and you could see whether or not they'd be good subjects for the experiment."

"Yes, very good. Shall we go?"

Zaphod downed what remained of his drink and proudly stood up and slung an arm around Trillian so he wouldn't fall. "Let us march! To the ship! The line of ladies will have to wait!" His right head turned to the bartender, "Just send all my expenses to Mr. Ford Prefect if you will."

Ecstatically, he lead the group to the Heart of Gold.

Trillian would have to ask him about the "line of ladies" later.

A/N: I'm not too happy with the dialogue in this chapter. Seriously, Zaphod laughing at "service"? Even if drunk, I think I made him OOC. Anyway, please leave a review.