Author's Note: I wrote the first part of this chapter and the one previously on the same day. I'm having internet problems and is running very slowly, also not showing me the stories I've already written. (The eldest of which I will delete in mere seconds, if I get the chance). Please R&R, and let me know if you're enjoying it, hating it, throwing spoiled food at your monitor, or any other reactions you might have to this piece of writing. i'll appreciate your critiques, small or in-depth!
Log 4: You Have a Date!
"There is someone at the door!" said the computer voice warily, focusing a camera on the new arrival. Secret Agent Moose's figure was projected onto the giant screen located at the basement of Zim's underground base. Zim chuckled darkly. He knew this stinking, pig-smelling human would show up soon, and he was about to figure out absolutely everything he needed to know - especially how she managed to crack Zim's amazing, fool-proof information blanket. How had she known that his gnomes were amazing security devices? How had she found he was truly Irken, and not an amazing, green-skinned, earless meatbag? Zim had to know these things - he rubbed his gloved hands together in an evil, plan-making fashion.
He rose from the trashcan regally, hands clasped behind his back, as he walked with high steps towards the door. Moments before his hand grabbed onto the doorknob, his stupid robot sidekick, GIR, leapt from the ceiling and landed headfirst in front of him and sat that way. GIR looked at his master with a curious, upside-down grin.
"Who's that?" he asked in his quick voice, pointing towards the door.
"Just a stupid human," said Zim, stifling a yawn. GIR leapt up and looked through the super-special security "peep hole."
"OOO!" he said, his robotic eyes wide and mouth gaping open in a foolish smile. "YOU GOTS A DATE!"
"A date?" asked Zim inquiringly. "I don't know what you're talking about, GIR. Now GO BACK TO THE BASEMENT!" he ordered, pointing at the trash can rudely. "BEFORE YOU'RE SPOTTED!"
GIR grinned and began to walk to the secret entrance to the base. He chuckled happily. "You got a date," he repeated, and skipped towards the can, running offbalance with his arms flailing about as he did so. Zim watched his robot slave go with raised eyebrows. There was something deeply disturbing about that robot. He would have to take another look at his schematics later. Perhaps it was the overly-advanced technology - that would explain why GIR's model did not resemble the basic SIR unit at all.
Zim made sure GIR was out of sight before opening the door to his super amazing, secret base. The human was standing in his doorway, hands her pockets, looking at Zim with grim determination in her eyes. "Invader Zim?" she questioned as she stepped over the threshold.
"Of course it is ME!" shouted Zim hurriedly, slamming the door behind her. "No one else could be as amazing as Zim! It is not possible!"
"Right," said Moose, rolling her eyes. "This is your base, huh? I figured you wouldn't be one for the spooky, neon-colored monkey paintings, though," she observed, looking at the green-faced ape painting with highest revulsion. "But I suppose we have to be wrong on some occasion, don't we?"
"Sure-fine-whatever," said Zim, walking back towards his trashcan portal. "What Zim is about to show you might make your TINY HUMAN MIND EXPLODE WITH THE GENIUS OF IT ALL!" he cried, waving his arms as if to relate just how amazing everything beneath the ground was, "but we'll just have to deal with that. Come, stinking pig human."
Moose carefully stepped into the trashcan as Zim instructed and rode the little miniature elevator down to the lowest room in the base - Zim's control room, complete with a handy popcorn maker and various weapons ideal for destroying the human race. Agent Moose looked at everything with a bored expression and leaned against one of the supercomputers as Zim walked into the room behind her, seeming to be expectant to hear her amazing shouts of awe and wonder. When these didn't come - and Agent Moose was staring at him with bored eyes, leaning against the computer with her hand at the monitor's corner - Zim resigned himself to get the information from this human as quickly as possible, and to dispose of her vaporized body later.
"This fellow Irken, Zerk," said Zim slowly, eyeing the certainly untrustworthy human carefully, "what are his plans? Why has he come to MY planet? How is that YOU know of my amazing secret disguise, and obviously, this Irken's as well!" Zim's now red-eyed, contact-less eyes bulged. "TELL ME!"
"First of all, Invader Zerk is a girl," said Moose, stifling a yawn as she sat down on one of the many extra commanding chairs Zim had set up for himself. "And her plans, rather, tell of such a gruesome tale for all the universe, and the honest truth of it all, once you hear it, you will understand why destruction is better than Zerk's plan for the human race."
"Better than obliteration?" said Zim, confusion etched in every part of his slimy green face. "How could this be? Perhaps I could steal Zerk's amazing plans, and call them my own, and then dispose of this other Invader in secret, throwing her planet-stealing brain into space, along with the Dib-human and this horrible-smelling Secret Agent Moose..."
Zim seemed to be quite caught up in his own planning at that moment, and seemed to be quite unaware that Moose was there as well. She glanced back up at the computer monitor and smiled - the tiny camera was completely functional and attached. She winked, knowing Dib was listening closely at the other end, and then proceeded to continue talking - over Zim's babble, if she must.
"Zerk is cunning and intelligent," said Moose wisely, eyeing the camera out of the corner of her eye to make sure Dib could hear every word as well. "She believes humans are amazing creatures, albeit stupid, and wishes to enslave the human race in some sort of universal preserve, a zoo, if you will. She wishes for all of the universe to realize how amazing the humans are, create amusement parks in our species' honor... Now, Zim, you can see why we both loathe this idea."
Zim shuddered. The human race revered, looked at with glory? Zim couldn't imagine the concept. He became extraordinarily grossed out just thinking about it, and it enraged him that some random Irken had flown to his planet in order to save the human race from Zim's amazing destruction, to create some sort of sickening, pig-smelling zoo of all the Earth creatures, to protect it from Operation Impending Doom II? Zim couldn't see how the Tallest would ever have thought it was a good idea - Zim would have to do some research in the Irken archives about this "Zerk."
"So I'm hoping that you will aid me in destroying her?" said Moose, hands in her pockets again. "I certainly think you'll be more apt at stopping her horrible plan. I'd rather see the human race obliterated in a mass of raging, awesome fire, than enslaved in a zoo for the galaxies to gawk at. I'm sure you'd agree, Invader Zim."
"I have to hand it to you, human," said Zim, smiling so wide his eyes were closed shut, "you're very clever and wise for your stupid race. Only a true manbeast of intelligence could choose my amazing plan over Zerk's horrible one."
"Yup," said Moose in a bored sort of voice. She stifled another yawn. "Exactly, exactly why I came to you. And if you're wondering about how I figured out you were an alien," she began, raising her voice the loudest she could, "then I think it's only fair to tell you that I listened to that Dib kid."
"DIB!" shouted Zim angrily, his gaze lost in the inner recesses of his mind where he kept all his evil "destroy Dib" plots and ideas. He momentarily imagined Dib with all his organs outside his body. That made Zim happy.
"Until next time, Invader Zim," said Moose, and she walked back to the elevator - GIR was now sitting politely on the floor at Zim's orders, waiting to "escort" her back outside and far away from the evil security gnomes. The elevator doors sealed, and GIR looked up at the human with curious robotic eyes - she seemed rather bored again by the whole ordeal and, this time, yawned as loud as she could.
Glancing down at the little SIR unit - which was still looking at her with a creepy, unfaltering gaze - Moose pulled a small microphone communicator out of her pocket and placed the device in her ear. "All's well," she confirmed. "Zim's base is under our surveillance. I hope we'll find out exactly what we need to find out."
Secret Agent Moose placed the communicator back into her pocket - GIR still watched her, a drop of drool oozing from his mouth - and walked out of Zim's home without any hesitance. She didn't like it much - it smelled pretty badly in there, and GIR seemed to be missing a few bolts inside his internal intelligence matrix. Once outside, and on her way down the street, Moose grinned, and began to laugh.