Date #2 was a little bit stranger. Make that a lot stranger.

When she sat down, the first things that stuck him were her many piercings.

"Right eyebrow, left eyebrow, right nostril, both ears, 6 times. . ."

Then he noticed her make-up. Just a little heavy on the eyeliner. And finally, he leaned back to take in the whole picture. Goth. Had to be.

"Hi. I'm Luna." Her voice--the persistently uncaring, indifferent tone—confirmed it. "I'm a goth, if you haven't noticed," Then she confirmed it. "And I don't need you or anyone else's approval."

"Um, that's. . . nice. I'm Voldemort. I control an army of fanatic minions. Glad to make your acquaintance."

"Really?" Her eyes got a bit wider and she looked just the tiniest bit interested.

"Yep."

"Cool. I bet chicks really dig that, right?"

"Um, not so much, actually."

"God, don't look at her piercings. Just don't stare."

"Weird." She was now leaning back in her chair and rocking out to some song that was playing in her head. "See, I would have thought a guy with lots of power could get any girl he wanted."

"Can't. . .look away. . .have to . . . avert. . .eyes!"

"Well, it's harder than it seems in books. So, um, do you want to have kids someday?"

"And bring another poor human being into this pointless existence?"

"Ouch! Why didn't I see that one coming?"

"I didn't really want kids either. How about pets? Do you have any animals?"

"I've got a black cat. I consider it my familiar. I'm not really wiccan, but I like the ideas that they have about things." She flicked her tongue lightly over her lips.

"Tongue ring! She has a tongue ring! Don't think about the tongue ring, Voldemort. Think about bunnies and taking over the world."

"How about you, Mr? Do you keep a lot of animals captive around the house?"

"I have a snake."

She nodded her approval. "Snakes are awesome creatures. They've got this sinister beauty about them. And people say that the devil sends them as messengers on earth."

"Interesting, I didn't know that."

"Translation: You freak me out!"

"Are you into bondage, Mr. Voldemort?"

"Hmm?" He had been lost in his thoughts of escape.

"You know, S&M? Kinky stuff. Balls and chains, whips, torture."

At this he grinned. "Yeah. That's kinda hot."

"Okay, think about the tongue ring. Tongue ring and booty calls!"

Unfortunately, before they could get any further into their interview, the gong rang the warning to get moving.

"Crap. Well, it was nice talking to you Voldie. If you ever wanna hook up or something, call me. Except on Wednesday nights. Those are my orgy nights. If you want some then, just meet me at the goth club. See, ya around big boy." And with a wave she disappeared into the crowd, leaving a piece of paper with her name and address written neatly across it. This he filed away carefully in his pocket. You never know when you might have nothing to do on a Wednesday night.

Of course, this wasn't what he had come for and Voldemort sincerely hoped that the next woman would be of a more practical sort.

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 3!