Disclaimer: No infringement intended. When I start getting paid for this frivolity, then J.J. can sue me.

Rating: T

Note: This is a post-ep for 1.21, "The Greater Good," sorta, or at least it depends on the events of that episode. Let's just imagine that Boone's been gone for at least a month when the story starts and there's no raft (that damn raft gets in the way of so many good stories, IMO). This one's a little out of the ordinary for me: sweet and not focused on Sawyer's ample libido. Just some Shannon/Sayid romance. I think MrsTater's stories are beginning to get to me.

The Best Remedy

Sayid heard Sawyer's soft southern drawl pause for the fourth time. The difficult man had finally settled once again into unselfconsciously reading to Claire's baby when he stopped to listen to the scene before him.

He heard Sawyer's voice distinctly as he said to Claire, "Boy doesn't know when to quit, does he?"

The first time Shannon went off on Sayid, he had been prodding her into getting up and taking a walk. He told her nobody expected her to do anything, but she needed to get out of her head for a while, get a change of scenery. But she didn't want to leave her post by the big palm tree, nor did she particularly want to be in Sayid's company, apparently.

The second and third times, he'd just tried to talk to her. The first time, she said, "What do you care? I'm not your project, okay? Just go away." The second time, she said, "You're not my father. You can't tell me what to do." Sayid was smart enough not to say anything in return, certainly not that he wasn't trying to tell her what to do and he definitely did not want to be her father.

The final time Sayid approached her was roughly an hour later, when Sawyer's voice was getting hoarse from reading "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets." Sayid placed a bottle of water on the ground beside her and asked her if she was angry with him.

She said, "What part of 'leave me the hell alone' don't you understand?" Although she got up and started to walk away, he stopped her, touching her arm and thrusting the water bottle toward her. She looked like she might shove him, but she simply jerked the water bottle and made a loud, huffy noise and stomped away.

Sayid stood there, watching her uneven clomping down the beach, refusing to look at Claire and Sawyer, who had become his audience.

Then Sawyer called out to him, "Looks like you just ruined someone's day."

Sayid scowled in response, but it was a desperate mask for more than a little hurt.

Sawyer added, "I think she was hoping to hear what Professor Snape was going to do to Harry."

Sayid trudged toward them. "She was listening to you read?"

Claire said, "She always does."

"Except she tries to pretend like she's not. Didn't have to pretend much today. She's been sitting there since we got here."

"I don't know what I've done wrong," Sayid said. "This anger is absurd. It's not about Boone. She cries when she's angry about Boone. She hasn't been so...violent since…"

Sawyer said, "It ain't nothin' you did."

"How can you be sure?"

"Well," Claire said, "We have been on this island for over a month."

Sayid just stared at her.

Sawyer said, "Let me field this one. You got a thing called P.M.S. in Iraq?"

"What?"

Claire said, "I think she's on her period."

Sayid went from shock to slight embarrassment to concern, finally landing on annoyance at his own stupidity, and he said, "Are you sure?"

Sawyer grinned. "Well, not being her intimate companion I wouldn't know for sure, in fact, I'd've thought you would, but I'd say it's a good bet."

"She's bitchy," Claire said.

Sayid hid a smile. "Yes."

Sawyer said, "Bitchier than normal. She's also suddenly bothered by anybody coming within a fifty foot radius of her."

"I know I get that way," Claire said. "Plus, if you look at how she's walking, I'd say she has a killer backache."

Sayid said, "What can we do?"

"You can keep doing what you've been doing, if you like taking punches," Sawyer said, smirking.

"I'm glad you find this funny."

"Ain't nothin' funny about P.M.S. It's like gettin' kicked in the gut."

Claire rolled her eyes. "Something like that. It might be best if you leave her alone."

"Can't we get her any painkillers?" he asked. That was the only remedy he knew from experience.

Kate had strolled up behind them, and she said, "Who needs medicine?"

Sawyer said, "Shannon. She's on the rag."'

Both Claire and Kate made a face at him, and Sayid sighed, frustrated that Shannon's very personal problem was now the topic of conversation for half of the island, not to mention the island asshole.

Kate said, "Fat chance of her getting any. Jack's being stingy. Says we need to conserve medicine, try to go without it for small, routine pains."

Claire snorted. "Easy for him to say."

"Look. I know how he'll be, for a fact." She frowned, adding almost under her breath, "I tried."

Sayid was more miserable by the minute, and he looked at Sawyer and said, "What about you?"

"Oh, no. I turned over all that stuff a long time ago. Someone"—he looked at Kate—"said it would be best for everybody."

Kate said, "Well, that's before I realized what a sexist Nazi Jack is."

"I think, Freckles, you owe it to Shannon to get your hands on some Advil."

"And how do you suggest I do that?"

He just raised his eyebrows. "You're a resourceful woman."

"Are you actually suggesting that I seduce Jack for a pill?"

"If that's what it takes."

It was an amusing distraction for Sayid to see Kate and Sawyer flirt. Flirting Sawyer was generally preferable to belligerent Sawyer. Kate asked Sawyer, "Aren't you worried about that?"

"Nah. Not after hearing how incredibly in tune he is with a woman's needs." That last statement he said more slowly, his voice deeper and taking on a little more of an accent. He was obviously quite aware of the effect that had on members of the opposite sex, especially Kate, who for some reason had a weakness for Sawyer.

Sayid hated to admit it, but he was almost at the point of thinking Sawyer's plan was reasonable. Still, he said, "We shouldn't have to rely on Kate's feminine wiles. There must be something I can do for her."

Claire said, "She already told you what she wants: leave her alone to wallow in pain and self-pity."

Sayid shuffled impatiently from one foot to the next. It was times like this that he felt helpless in their situation. But then he looked up and saw that Kate was clearly hatching some sort of plan in her head.

She said, "I know something that won't require Jack at all. I wish I had thought of it for myself. But I need to go see Locke. And you need to get Shannon to the caves. Give me half an hour."

Sawyer said, "I don't think Sayid'll be able to get her to the caves unless he knocks her over the head first."

Sayid said, "Well, I doubt as if she's let you come near her either."

"Isn't there anyone she won't attack?" Kate asked.

Claire looked down the beach and just pointed. Sun. Ever since the asthma episode, Shannon had been more tolerant of Sun than anyone else, especially after Boone died.

Sayid went to fetch Sun and explain the problem to her, which wasn't easy because she was even more easily embarrassed than he was discussing a woman's menstrual trouble. But like Claire and Kate, she was sympathetic. She said she would come up with some excuse to get Shannon where she needed to be.

When he headed toward the path to the caves, Sawyer hastily got up, handing him the well-worn book. He said, "Don't let nothin' happen to it. The baby'll be mightily pissed if he doesn't find out who opened the Chamber of Secrets."

Sayid bit back a smile as he threaded his way into the jungle, trying to resist the urge to look down the beach to where Sun was approaching Shannon. He crossed his fingers, wondering just what Kate's plan was.

When he arrived, he found her sitting beside a fire a little way from the camp, looking into a large metal bowl she had perched over the fire. It was Locke's bowl, the one he used to catch the blood from the boar he killed, but Kate had cleaned it. With her hands wrapped in shirts, she pulled the bowl off the makeshift grate it was on and placed it in the smoldering remnants that made up the edge of the fire. Then she took one of the shirts and began to fold it carefully, safety-pinning it into a rectangle.

"The only thing as good as Advil for pain is heat," she said. "Of course, you'll have to keep dipping the shirt in the water. And you've got to keep the water hot enough but not too hot."

"Okay."

"The good thing is, you'll get to be the hero, and you'll get to spend the whole afternoon with your hands on her."

"I think I can do that."

"You'll be great. If you weren't the most patient man alive, I don't think you'd have survived this long with her. You take so much care with everything you do."

"I try."

"Well, try not to take too much care with her. I mean, don't let her hurt your feelings. Let the bad attitude roll off your back like every one of Sawyer's nicknames." She stood up, handing him the other shirt.

"Thank you, Kate."

"Don't mention it. Just watch out, though. You get too good at this and you might get a reputation as the best remedy for P.M.S. on the island." She smiled wickedly at him, then she disappeared.

The water was scalding to his hands, like a hot shower would be, when Shannon came into the clearing.

"Aw, Jesus," she said, turning around. "I should have known."

"Wait. I understand what's wrong."

"I doubt it," she snapped.

"I'm just too stupid to pay any attention."

She faced him, raising her eyebrows and painting on her favorite sarcastic face. "Now I know something's up. You just said you were stupid."

"And blind. But I don't live in a hole in the ground. I know what happens to a woman once a month."

She smirked. "Well, good for you. I'm happy to see they do teach sex ed in the middle east. Now, unless you plan to beat Jack into giving me some Tylenol—"

"I can do better than that." He dunked the shirt into the water and wrung it out. "This is your very own hot compress. Just try it. If you still want to hit me or yell at me in a few minutes, I'll gladly let you."

She reluctantly crossed over to the fireside and dropped herself down on someone's sleeping pallet he had laid out a few feet away. "You do know your magic all-natural heating pad won't make me any less cranky."

"I think by now I am adept at withstanding with your crankiness." She scowled, but the scowl was followed by a slight smile. He said, "Which is worse: your back or your abdomen?"

She suddenly looked self-conscious, and though she didn't get quite as defensive as she once would have, her tone was both flippant and suspicious, somehow. "Why are you doing this?" It was a question she had asked many times since her brother's death, and he wondered when she would finally stop asking.

He gave her the same answer he always did, "I don't like to see you in pain."

"You can't fix everything, Sayid."

"No, but I can try."

She shook her head and lay down on her stomach, then she pulled her shirt up under her arms, exposing a pale pink bra.

After a moment of laying like that, she said, "Oh, hell, that's real comfortable." Then she rolled back over, sat up, and jerked the shirt over her head. When she lay back down, she let out a surprised noise as Sayid reached over and unhooked her bra with one hand, clearing the expanse of her back for his makeshift heat wrap. He relished the feel of her skin, but he tried to set himself back to the task at hand.

She sighed as the wet cloth hit her back. "It really didn't occur to you, did it?"

"No. I'm not quite accustomed to people being so open. And, being a man, I sometimes forget."

"Then how did you know?"

"Don't ask. Just know that I won't forget in the future. How does that feel?"

"Very nice." She was silent for a moment before she said, "Sayid."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry I was so nasty to you earlier."

He smiled, knowing she had an easier time saying that because he couldn't see her face. "That's okay. How did Sun get you to come out here?"

Shannon's laughter was muffled. "She lied. She said to meet her here because she thought she could get me some Tylenol. She also told me to stop alienating the only person willing to put up with my shit."

"Really?"

"Not in so many words. I still don't understand why you do put up with me."

"When I figure it out, I'll let you know."

When he was sure she was comfortable, he pulled out the book. "Would you like to hear chapter six?"

"What?"

"Will my accent be a good one for 'Harry Potter,' or do you need him to sound like he grew up in a trailer in Alabama?"

She giggled. "I don't know. Will you make your voice sound different for all the different characters?"

"I'll try."

"No. Don't. That's one reason I love listening to Sawyer. It's so bad it's hilarious. Can you imagine him doing a British accent?"

"No."

"That's why Charlie won't hang around to listen. Just read it in your voice. I like your voice."

"Oh?"

"It's so calm and soothing. And sexy."

He didn't respond, even though he questioned the usefulness of a sexy voice to bring to life a children's book. So he began to read to her, occasionally stopping to firmly press a refreshed hot cloth into her back. The hand that wasn't holding the book skimmed across her upper back and shoulders. He willed himself not to let his fingers fall down under her arms and caress the exposed sides of her breasts. He was a patient man, as Kate said. Judging from Shannon's tone and the contented noises emanating from her throat occasionally, there was something waiting just beneath the surface of the pain and crabbiness. He did have enough experience to remember how deliciously sensual a woman could be with all those hormones bouncing around her body, making her crave the physical. And Shannon was already deliciously sensual enough to just about drive him crazy.