So, I was working with my dad, helping him load up his freaking truck, (-groans in pain-) and I was thinking about Keith, my "crush," for want of a better word. He just got out of the hospital because he had a hernia, so I was talking to him last night for the first time in four billion years. But anyway, I was reflecting on his "sign of affection," and this popped into my head. Enjoy!
If I ever found a magic lamp and got three wishes, I would only use one. I would wish that I could be on the receiving end of one of Kid Blink's shoulder squeeze, or his "Squees" as I call them. But don't tell him that.

My name is Michael Meyers. (Yes, I know, I have the worst name ever.) My friends call me Mush. They seem to be under the impression that I can woo any girl, but I must say that I've never seen any girls swooning under my gaze.

Kid William's, nicknamed Kid Blink, has been my best friend for ten years. He's been the love of my life for the last four of them. Or maybe I just never noticed until I was thirteen.

People call him "Blink" because he's blind in one eye, so he wears an eye patch. He says it's because the eye patch makes him look like a dead sexy pirate, and I must say he's hot in it. He must've gone through twenty girls when Pirates of the Caribbean came out. But that's his problem.

Kid Blink never sticks with one girl. I think it'd probably be easier on me if he just had one steady girlfriend, but then maybe the fact that he goes through them like a girl goes through shoes is a sign that I still have a chance.

Kid, like I said, goes through girls almost weekly. And he gives every one of them a Squee every time he sees them. It's his sign of affection. He briefly squeezes the spot where your shoulder and your neck connect. The girls love it, and they always smile or giggle whenever he does it. I've been waiting for a Squee for four years.

But I know it won't come. Kid Blink's straight, for crying out loud. I mean, if he had one girlfriend, I could probably convince myself that he really is gay, he just likes this one girl. But he goes through so many of them. There seems to be an endless supply of girls at our school, because I've never seen the same girl on Blink's arm twice.

I don't think he sleeps with them. I know that sounds crazy, considering he's a pimping seventeen-year-old, but he wants to save himself. But his girls don't seem to mind. They probably talk about his heavenly Squees at sleepovers or something. I would.

But alas, I'll never get the chance. Unless some miracles comes along.