Author's Note: Okay! Back from releasing three chapters of "The Mighty Titan". Lol. Don't be mad at me, please. I couldn't ignore the bug even if I wanted to. That other story needed writing, fast. But this one deserves attention, again, ne? Here we go.
There won't be much action here, but lots of emotion. Heart to hearts; stuff like that.
Standard disclaimers apply.
PATH TO TAMARAN
Chapter Thirteen – Walls and Bridges
Starfire dared not bother Robin while he worked.
The previous night, after returning from the city, Robin told her he had things to do. She let him go with a light kiss goodnight, keeping her concerns to herself. It was usual enough for Robin to work late, but it worried her whenever he immersed himself in his work so he could forget the personal issues in his life. Nevertheless, she gave him space, even if her heart was screaming for him to talk about it.
As a new morning dawned, Starfire passed Robin's closed chamber door, willing herself to keep walking. When Robin was ready to speak to her, he would open the subject up himself. Not that it was ever that easy.
She went to the Multi-purpose level, thinking she could fix everyone a hearty breakfast. Surely, there was a lot to be done that day. Aqualad's reports should be coming in and she was sure his reports would contain confirmation about the previous day's theories. It was only logical that Robin would start formulating a plan that would have them moving forward on the Blackfire case.
As she emerged from the elevators, she was halted momentarily by the sight of Karras leaning over the kitchen counter. He was drinking another can of Pepsi. He had, after all, taken a liking to it.
He would have come from camp, she knew, and she was mildly surprised he had come to the tower by himself.
He was staring into space, barely noticing that someone else was in the room with him, but moments later, he snapped out of his haze and arched his eyebrow in her direction.
Realizing that he had noticed her, Starfire went on ahead to the kitchen to put breakfast together.
Karras turned away from her, leaning his back and elbows on the counter top. It was just as well. She didn't like him watching as she worked. After a moment, he went to the ledge of the panoramic windows, looking out to the horizon.
Starfire began breakfast by taking out the frozen sausages and bacon then she brewed the coffee. While the coffee brewed, she put together the homemade waffles. She whipped the batter into as light a consistency as she could manage by muscle alone then put a frying pan on the stove to heat. She set the whipped batter aside and began to make eggs. She would need to make a lot of them since Cyborg alone could eat six eggs by himself. When she cooked all the eggs they had (about two dozen of them), she heated the gridiron for the waffles. She dumped the slightly thawed sausages into the frying pan and leaned back for a break in her work.
"You done?" came Karras' voice.
She was surprised he even acknowledged her. She became a bit wary. What delights did conversation with Karras promise this time? "No. Just half-way done. The coffee, however, is ready. You may have some, if you wish."
"I have had soda. I am fine."
Starfire shrugged.
"Do you need help preparing all that?" he asked.
For a moment, Starfire thought she was hearing things. Did Karras just offer to help her make breakfast? She thought she did, but the words were irreconcilable with her general perception of him.
Numbly, she shook her head.
He arched an eyebrow, perhaps seeing the look on her face. "I won't bite, you know."
She said nothing.
He sighed, resigned to her mistrust. "Forget it, then. Honestly, you could be such a nootflorkhead sometimes."
She frowned at the criticism. A nootflorkwas a slimy, amphibious lizard that crawled in the mud and had an irrational fear of everything. When it was frightened, it burrowed itself in the slush and then made its escape underground. Many Tamaranians went their entire lives never seeing one, and some profess that the nootflorkwas a figment of someone's imagination. But they did, indeed, exist, whether or not people believed they did. Thus to call someone nootflork-headmeant that the person did, indeed have a brain; just that it was rarely seen and that one may render its existence debatable.
"Well—you… you…" She was going to say something disparaging, of course, but then it dawned on her that he only offered to help her in the first place. "You can help me make the bacon!" she yelled. She didn't know why she had to shout it. Perhaps having a decent conversation with him had required more effort than she ever thought she had to exert.
Karras blinked in surprise, peering at her warily. "Well, that certainly sounds exciting if you put it that way."
She reddened, turning to the stove to rattle the sausages in their pan. "That is the bacon. It is a bit frozen, but if you put it in the frying pan with a bit of water to simmer in, the pieces will separate and cook nicely."
Karras was soon beside her, carefully trying to make out her instructions. He fared well enough, focusing all his efforts in his work and muttering every once in a while that cooking was never one of his strong points.
Starfire paid him little heed. The sausages cooked quickly enough and she was soon making the waffles. She was well into making her third waffle when Karras spoke again.
"You do this often? Make morning meals for your… unit?"
"As often as I could," she muttered.
"It is your unit assignment?"
She laughed, somewhat derisively. "Goodness, no. No one assigned me to do this. I do this voluntarily because I like it when my friends enjoy what I have prepared for them. I love them all very dearly, so I do this for them."
"Robin, especially?"
She nodded without hesitation. "Robin, especially."
Karras took the spatula Starfire had used for the sausages and moved the bacon around with it. "That is nice, I suppose; your caring for them all. I never thought you were so capable of taking care of anyone."
Starfire tried not to be so offended by his words. "There is a lot you do not know about me, Karras."
He shrugged. "Maybe. So, Koriand'r… there is the matter of my end of the bargain in yesterday's challenge. I could send a message to Tamaran immediately, or perhaps to my home planet. It will not be easy getting your parents to come here, so I might need some help from my father—"
Starfire almost dropped her cooking materials from shock. She whipped around to face him, shocked. "What?"
"Our bargain yesterday. Did we not agree that if you won, I would endeavor to get your parents here instead of have you come to Tamaran?"
"But—but—"
"What are you stuttering about? I merely wish to fulfill my end of the bargain."
Starfire frowned, her senses going into overdrive. "But I did not even—you threw the fight—" She scrambled for words. "N-No! You will do no such thing! You will—"
He sighed. "I, me! You are vexing in the extreme." He was not pretending to be annoyed, but he did not look as annoyed as he probably should have been. "I do not know how Robin puts up with your whims."
She blocked his aggravating comments out of her mind, trying to focus her thoughts on the real issue at hand. "If you have never listened to me at all, Karras, I beg you to listen to me now. There is a lot about Tamaran that I have endeavored to leave behind; one of them is my royalty, another is family, but my culture, what I am… it is not something I could completely wipe clean. It is one thing for my parents to come here to surprise me. That would be a voluntary act in their part! It is another for them to come here on my behest. I may have left Tamaran because of what my father did, but he is—" She sighed, poking the waffle batter idly with the egg-whip. "He is still the Grand Ruler. He is my father. He is—"
Karras chuckled. "Not someone the crown princess should order around."
She nodded. "I would never ask so much from him; to have him come here to Earth just because I refuse to go to Tamaran. Crown princess, though I am, I still see him as someone above me. I still see him as my father. A transmitted message will suffice, really. Maybe… maybe if he asks me himself to go back, in his transmitted image, or even just by voice, and if he tells me he misses me, or that mother just wants to see me, or—" She reddened, for once embarrassed by the importance she put on sentiment. "Or something that does not have to do with affairs of the state."
There was a silence between them, and when Starfire looked up, she saw Karras' eyebrow raised, his smile tilted. He was vastly amused. She shot him a scowl, but she refused to take what she said back.
He crossed his arms over his chest. "Is this what it's all about? Your father's apology?"
It sounded so petty, coming from him, but she refused to let him belittle her feelings. "I sacrificed years of my life, my dignity, making my father understand how wrong I thought his political decisions were, and until now, I do not know if I have managed to teach him. The least he could do is show me that he regards me and his other children as something more than a planetary commodity. And you know what? Why would I want to go back to a planet where my own father sees me as currency, when here on Earth, there are people who love me and cherish me as a person? The soldiers tell me that they want me as their leader, and as flattering as that is, and with all due respect to the men and women who have pledged their loyalty to me, I see it as a preference more than a necessity on their part. They have a leader. They have my father, and then they have my brother. They are good leaders. Tamaran prospers under their rule, however questionable my father's past decisions were when it came to his children, but even in that, he acted in the interest of the planet. The planet should have no quarrel with him. Whatever mistakes he made, the issue is between him and me, alone. So yes, perhaps I place importance on sentiment, but that is only because it is important, and that I think it has been too often, too much, disregarded."
He turned his gaze from her, expelling a soft breath. He looked a little exasperated, but his earlier amusement was gone. She dared to think he understood, to some degree. "I think getting your father to send you such a 'heartfelt' message is even harder than getting him here in the first place."
She sighed, going back to making waffles. "That is regrettable."
"I suppose—" He hesitated, fidgeting uneasily for a moment before he took a deep breath and started over. "I suppose I could not possibly understand the sacrifices you had to make, being a slave. This is my flaw. I was spared from slavery because my elder sister took the responsibility of it. Did you know I had a sister?"
Starfire felt the jolt of remembrance render her nauseous. For a heartbeat, she could not reply, but swallowing the lump in her throat, she managed. "Y-Yes. I know."
He did not seem to find anything amiss about her admission because he continued. "Xyannis… she would have made a magnificent ruler. I remember looking up to her and thinking that she would become the most amazing and passionate leader Kalapatt could have. I admired her so much, and she took care of me as an elder sister should. I was very sad that day they sent her off. She shouldn't have been sent to Gordane."
Starfire said nothing. She couldn't possibly look him in the eye right now.
"My father certainly didn't want her to go, but he had no choice. Believe it or not, my father showed more sentiment about sending her off than an objective ruler was supposed to feel. And," he said, his tone taking on a brighter note, "I believe he had dire hopes for the planet if it fell under my rule. I was too busy taking advantage of the women in court to seem like I could amount to anything at the time, so you could imagine how hopeless my father must have felt."
Starfire took on this leg of the topic with vigor. "You are such a cad, Karras. Honestly, have you ever given any woman the importance she deserves?"
He chuckled. "Well, how important do you think I should treat them, considering most of them threw themselves at me so willingly?"
She rolled her eyes, tossing him a look of disgust. "Somehow, it does not surprise me that instead of acting the gentleman, you just blamed their virtue for your lack of self-restraint."
"Correction, I blame theirlack of virtue for my lack of self-restraint."
She sneered. "And Taryia? I hope, at least, that you gave her the respect due her, for I do not think that she threw herself at you in the least. I do not see her throwing herself at anybody, except if it is to throw a punch." She hoped to surprise him with her knowing about him and Taryia; throw him off-guard.
But it wasn't to be. He was more resilient than she gave him credit for.
He laughed, and for the first time, it did not sound wrought with ridicule. He stirred the bacon around, as if to think carefully of his words. "Taryia… no, she did not throw herself at me. And yes, I do humbly submit that my respect for her remains strong to this day. I care for her still, and I think she still cares for me."
Starfire looked cautiously over her shoulder at him, wondering who he was and what he had done to Karras. He caught her looking and he shot her a grin.
"What are you looking at me like that for?"
She remained suspicious of him. "I am… surprised; that you would admit such a thing; to me, of all people."
He did not seem embarrassed at all. "Are you surprised I admitted it or are you surprised that I could have such feelings?"
"Both, I suppose."
He shrugged. "It happens; that a cad such as myself would feel so deeply for someone."
Trying to brush off her sense of disbelief, Starfire forced herself to act normally. "So you and Taryia are still together?"
"Together? No. Not for a… let us see… for an Earth year, now."
"But if you still care for one another—"
He waved her protests away. "We agreed it was for the best. I am a prince, she is a soldier. We would never be matched in marriage, and unlike you Tamaranian royalty, we cannot keep s'lors. I do not want Taryia to be treated like a concubine when I am married to someone else and I do not think Taryia wants that either. Besides, she suspects I will go back to my womanizing ways in due time, whether we are together or not."
Starfire's lip curled at that, shaking her head. "You would cheat on Taryia?"
He shrugged. "Given time? I cannot be certain. I have never felt so strongly for a woman before, so I have not quite tested the limits of my fidelity. But whether I remained faithful or not, I'd still love her, you understand. Women… they are one of the most beautiful of Gods' gifts. I do like them so very much. The pretty ones, I mean. I do not know if I could like an ugly woman."
"Ugh, you are such a hole in the behind."
He laughed again, this time the ridicule was back. He took the pan of bacon and moved the bacon around in it. "Is this cooked, princess? It looks a bit pale if you ask me…" He tilted the pan, as if to put it to the light.
Starfire looked at the bacon in his pan and saw that the water had evaporated. The bacon was only just beginning to cook on its own oil. The oil oozed to the side and threatened to spill. Starfire yelled for him to right the pan, scolding him for his carelessness.
"Honestly! How much sense does it take to realize that if you tip something over, its contents will spill?" she hissed, taking the pan from him and shoving him away with her shoulder. "Idiot of idiots!"
He rolled his eyes, though he did not seem insulted. "Well, excuse me for trying."
"Be useful and set the table! You could at least do that, yes? I have no use for you, otherwise."
Karras laughed, putting his hands up and backing away from her. "I tell you… Tamaranian women are the bossiest of the lot. No mistake about that, but most of them have a prettier way of going about it."
"Unlike other women, Karras, I do not harbor the need to make you feel good about yourself."
The elevator doors opened and Robin emerged. There wasn't a trace of a smile on his face. She looked up, her snappy mood immediately changing into a cheerful one, for him.
"Good morning, Robin! Come sit for breakfast. The waffles are still hot and the sausages are ready. Would you like some scrambled eggs?"
Robin looked from her to Karras. His gaze remained on the prince who was just now setting plates down and trying to figure out exactly what to do with the utensils.
"Is he setting the table?" asked Robin.
Karras looked up momentarily before rolling his eyes.
"That is the plan, yes," Starfire replied. "If he does not stop staring at the forks and start making himself useful in the next fifteen seconds, I will ask him to leave."
Karras shot her a glare. "I am trying. X'Hal rut me, so demanding!"
Robin's suspicious gaze remained on him for several seconds before Robin left him alone and went to Starfire.
"Are you alright?" he asked in a cautious tone.
Starfire chuckled. "As well as could be expected." She looked over her shoulder at Karras, grinning at the confused look on his face as he tried to make sense of the odd looking spoon. They had "spoons" in Kalapatt, but theirs looked slightly different. "Set the table for eight, prince. I think Wyfern is still here. Do not break any plates."
"When have I ever broken plates?" asked Karras, scowling at her. "Like a child, you instruct me! How did I ever let you talk me into this chore? Crown prince of Kalapatt and I am letting you order me around…" He muttered a few more expletives, but he focused on his work, determined to prove to Starfire that he could accomplish the task of setting the table.
She laughed softly, returning her attention to the bacon. If wasn't long before she noticed that Robin hadn't moved from his place beside her and that he was staring at her. The mask made it impossible for her to decipher what he was thinking.
"What?" she asked in a soft tone.
His eyebrow arched. "You're… getting along… with him." His voice was even softer. He didn't want Karras to know they were talking about him.
The remark surprised her, and blinking, she realized that she was, indeed, getting along with the brat prince, however wretched getting along with him was. "Why, I suppose I am. How strange is that?"
Robin took a deep breath, glancing briefly at the prince then back at her. "Not as strange as any of us would expect. It's you, after all. But that doesn't mean I have to start liking him, right?"
"Of course you do not have to start liking him. You may continue to dislike him as much as you wish." She tried not to be so amused by the fact that much of his dislike probably stemmed from her primal hatred of Karras in the first place, that and the fact that Karras hadn't treated her as well as Robin believed she deserved. As independent as she was, she liked it when her man stood by her.
"Well, not that I want to dislike him… it's just—" He searched for a word as he got a cup and poured himself some coffee. He sighed. "I can't talk about this now." He grabbed a waffle from the stack. "Set the table for seven, Karras. I have a pretty busy morning. Thanks for breakfast, Starfire."
Starfire stared after him and tried not to be so hurt about the abrupt dismissal, yet again. He did not even say good morning. She woefully watched him retire into the elevators. If he caught her dejected expression, Robin made no show of it.
She wondered if this was one of those things she had to back away from; whether this was another one of those times when she should give him space. And then she was afraid, because she didn't know the answer. She didn't know if she should go to him or stay away, and she hadn't felt that kind of uncertainty with him in a long time.
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Starfire looked at the faces surrounding the information center. She sat to the outmost side of the curved couch, close enough to the rest of the group to be part of the huddle. To the other side of her was Raven, floating in mid-air placidly. While the empath was still close enough to be included, her usual body language showed her sense of isolation with the rest of world. Even in a group, Raven tended to keep herself apart, though less so now than she had when Starfire first found herself with them.
She recalled Raven's reaction to her when she first came to Earth; how Raven had given her one observant look and declared her "confused" and "harmless". Because she was those things, Raven had seen it fit to help her. Sometimes she wondered; if Raven had not given her unequivocal endorsement, would the Titans have taken her in? They probably would have, but she would have probably run away from fear of rejection before they could give her their invitation.
Raven's gaze at the moment swiveled slowly in her direction and again, Starfire felt she was being observed. But unlike other people, Starfire was mostly comfortable about having someone seeing into her emotions. She flashed Raven a melancholic smile before turning her attention back to Robin who was conducting the meeting.
Beast Boy, Cyborg, Galfore and Karras sat listening to him intently, Robin's presence commanding their attention. If Wyfern had stayed, she would have been just as focused. The young engineer had begged leave of them right after breakfast, saying she had matters to attend to in the ship. Even after having served as tour guide to Robin, she remained glassy-eyed with awe when she addressed him. Starfire could tell it made Robin slightly uncomfortable.
With Robin standing in front of what remained of their guests, he was at his element.
Splayed on the monitor of their super computer were the results of Aqualad's reports, side by side with the read-outs of the day to day data taken from the Tower's observation equipment. Robin spoke about gravitational fields and atmospheric disturbances. He showed how the manifestations were initially deceiving because they were cloaked behind the background noise the Bermuda Triangle generated. He explained it all like it was the simplest thing in the world, in spite of the fact that it had taken them weeks to make something out of nothing.
When Robin was done with the preamble of explaining, he looked up at the monitor with casual ease. "The data we have and the data Aqualad sent us concur at various significant levels. While we still couldn't be entirely sure that our theories are correct, we have enough evidence to support an attempt to catch our culprits."
Everyone agreed.
"I've already given it some thought," he said, turning away from the computer screen.
Starfire stifled a smile. Of course Robin had given it thought. He wouldn't be Robin if he hadn't.
"It's clear enough," he continued, "that they never come to Earth unless it's absolutely necessary. Before Maxwell Victoria resurfaced—so to speak—he'd been gone for months. In the last encounter with his… transport ship, we were totally unprepared to take advantage of the situation."
Starfire caught the emphasis in Robin's tone, as if he was speaking to her, though he did not even spare her a glance. It was enough for her to realize that Xyannis had every possibility of being brought up by name. She slid a wary glance at Karras. She knew she would have to tell him the truth, anyway, but how was Starfire going to explain her keeping it a secret for this long? Even if she hadn't seen Karras for years and she had no means to tell him between leaving Kalapatt and the arrival of Galfore's unit on Earth, she had stayed with Karras's family for six whole months. She could have told him; should have, but she hadn't, and now it seemed there was no excuse for keeping the truth from him. Telling him that Xyannis hadn't wanted him to know seemed so lame now. For the first time in her acquaintance of Karras, she actually felt like a child who knew she had been naughty, and that she was in biiiig trouble with the grown ups.
She grimaced. She felt she would be lucky if Karras let her get away with it by merely sending her to her room. She sighed, trying to refocus on the discussion. If one of the Titans spilled the beans for her, there would be no one to blame but herself.
"The next time we get an opportunity," said Robin, "we will be prepared, and since we want to lure them out, we're going to have to use bait."
"So, are we going to transport Victoria back to Bludhaven?" asked Cyborg.
Robin shook his head. "Negative. Jump City would never allow it and frankly, whether we fake his presence in Bludhaven or not, to set up that kind of production over there would mean asking too many favors from the worse kinds of people. It's far too impractical to put him back there just to use him as bait. I'd end up selling my soul, and why would I do that if there was a better, less costly way?"
"Let's hear your plan then," said Raven.
Robin nodded. "We're going to give Blackfire a taste of her own medicine. We're going to do it the Tamaranian way."
All eyebrows arched at the words and Starfire felt a slight rush of excitement.
She smiled. Whatever Robin's plan was, she knew it would be a good one. She knew it would get them what they needed. It was why Robin was leader after all.
There was much to be done, she knew. And perhaps her little talk with him about matters of the heart could wait.
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Starfire stared at the elevator buttons outside of the doors, wondering if she should go up or go down.
She stood fidgeting on the Multi-purpose level platform, biting the nail of her thumb. At that point, she didn't know what she should do.
The lower floors were the chambers, where presently, Robin had gone to make a few arrangements with his contacts. He was working, and it needed to be done, or else they couldn't move ahead in their plans. Bothering him would be a bad idea, but she wasn't planning on speaking to him now. She was mostly thinking about—well, making an appointment of sorts. He might appreciate that better, or at least he wouldn't be as annoyed. It was somewhat depressing having to make an appointment with one's boyfriend, but it couldn't be helped. Robin was terribly testy that day. She did not want him to think she was being a nuisance.
That was the worse of the whole thing, of course. She hadn't felt like she could be a nuisance to Robin in months. Ever since they admitted their feelings for one another, giving him space when he looked like he needed it had seemed easy, and even then, he was affectionate and thoughtful whenever he took breaks from his obsessing. Today, it was different. The episode at breakfast was bad enough, but after the general meeting about Blackfire, he had simply refused to look at her, as if catching her eye would obligate him to give her the time of day.
She tried not to think about it so much; tried not to be so hurt by it. Instead, she willed herself to let it blow past her. She could pretend to be silly and air-headed for a day; keep her spirits up. Maybe if she looked clueless enough, Robin would soften up and actually give her the requested appointment, just because he had a tendency to be less gruff with someone who didn't seem to know any better.
Starfire groaned. Wonderful, she thought. I am playing mind-games with Robin, now. How desperate.
Slowly, she began to scrap the idea of going to see Robin out of her plans. She stared at the "up" button. What lay behind it was not a savory prospect either.
If she pressed up, it meant she was going to the rooftop, and up there was none other than Karras who was doing some training with Galfore. However, it wasn't that she loathed the company. After all, if she simply didn't want to be with Karras, then she wouldn't even bother going to the rooftop in the first place. It was a little more complicated than that.
Throughout most of their meeting about Blackfire, Starfire found herself praying, time and again, that Xyannis's name would not be mentioned. It occurred to her that while Karras had to know, having his sister's name blurted out in the middle of their discussion would be disastrous. She was intensely relieved, of course, when the meeting ended without mention of his sister, but it only meant she would have to bring the subject up herself, and whether or not she wanted to be the one to tell him, he had to know, anyway.
The fact was, now might be the best time to tell Karras, with Galfore present. That way, Karras would make no attempt to attack her in his anger. By the time he got the opportunity to try and strangle her without any witnesses, he'd have already cooled down.
Still, it didn't mean she was eager to tell him at all. The more she thought about having kept it from him all these years, the more she believed she should have told him sooner.
It wasn't that she was afraid of him. After all, she proved she could hold her own when it came to Karras, but there was that element of shame on her part, that she hadn't had the courage to make the right decision in the first place, which was to tell him the truth. Shame had, after all, felled many a fearless hero.
Should have; would have; could have.
"Um, Starfire," said Raven peering from behind some papers she was working on. "You're not a kinetic. For the buttons to light up, you have to physically raise your finger and use it to press."
She sighed. "Indeed." She pressed "up".
The elevator took her to the upper floors. She went up another flight of stairs to get to the open-air landing. As the rays of the sun hit her vision, she saw Galfore and Karras crossing swords. They were focused and they were looking a little red in the cheeks, but their spar bore none of the ferocity she and Karras had shown each other the previous day.
Oddly enough, she felt a certain degree of satisfaction in that. The fact that Karras was always better at getting a rise out of her had always been a kind of sore spot to her pride, but seeing him so calm and controlled sparring with Galfore, she realized that she could stir his instincts a lot more than he let on.
She watched a while, saying nothing. Galfore was a formidable warrior, still, and by sheer strength and endurance alone, he could out-fight anyone. If an enemy were to chop off his limb, Galfore would be the sort to take down ten others with what arm he had remaining.
Karras, she knew, was heaping with warrior skill. She had learned the extent of his talents first hand, and while she knew that both of them had gone all-out as far as exhibitions went, she was yet to see him fight when raising a sword meant saving one's life or taking another's.
Minutes later, Galfore stopped the spar and they both turned their attention to her, slightly winded.
"I am sorry for making you wait, princess. Is there something I can do for you?" asked Galfore.
Now that it was her turn to speak, Starfire felt a thunk in her belly. She felt an urge to retreat, but she steeled herself. This had to be done. "The wait was not long, and I did not mind it at all. However, it is not you I came to see, Galfore. I came to talk to Karras. There is a matter of great import that I wish to speak to him about."
Karras looked thoroughly surprised. Galfore was calmer.
"Then I shall leave you two alone for the time being."
"N-No!" Starfire regretted the word as soon as she said it. She reddened upon realizing how much of a coward she was being, and if Karras realized why she preferred to have Galfore around during this conversation, she would never live it down. "What I mean to say is… I do not wish to impose. I could speak to Karras another time, when he is less occupied. An appointment will suffice."
She had no choice. She had to make excuses now, so she supposed the she had to postpone the conversation, but whatever happened, this was something she had to bring up in private. It involved a delicate subject, and it was potentially explosive, especially in Karras's part. The least she could give him is the freedom to react without anyone else seeing him come undone.
Galfore arched an eyebrow. "But you said it was important."
"Yes, it is, but it could certainly wait a bit longer." It has waited years, as it is. A few more hours will not make it any worse than it already is. "Later, when His Highness Karras is free."
Galfore and Karras exchanged questioning glances at the honorific. It had slipped from her mouth unheeded, of course, but it was telling enough of how humbling this experience was going to be for her. She just knew that somewhere in the impending revelation, she would have to apologize to him. That was enough to put her on edge.
"Well?" Galfore asked, directing his gaze at the prince.
Karras shrugged. "Later then, princess. It was the captain who requested this training session with me. I do not wish to postpone his request, even for yours."
Starfire nodded, half-disappointed. As unsavory as her task was, she wanted to get it over with as soon as possible, but indeed, she would not want to take this hour Galfore had asked for.
Galfore smiled serenely. "I do not mind in the least."
"Of course you do not, Galfore," said Starfire. "But Karras and I are in agreement. He and I will meet later."
Galfore easily gave in. She left them to their training and she was back in the elevator, contemplating again whether she should try to see Robin.
She ended up deciding not to bother him. If Robin wanted to talk, he would come see her himself.
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It was fun helping Cyborg make improvements on the T-ship. Not so much because it made her feel useful, but it was ever so entertaining to see Cyborg and Beast Boy duke it out over the impossibly complicated machinery. She was due to go with Raven to the Jump City Prison facility a bit after lunch. They had some matters to discuss with the warden and the federal agent assigned to Maxwell Victoria's case. In the meantime, Raven had some documentation to finish and Starfire had time to kill. She decided she would spend her time assisting Cyborg.
Starfire suspected that Cyborg infinitely preferred to work alone, but to his credit, he acknowledged the little help an extra pair of hands could offer, even if one of the pairs had an indomitable tendency to transform into hooves or paws.
It was somewhat of a treat to watch Cyborg and Beast Boy arguing, mainly because Beast Boy was earnestly trying to make sense of the techno-babble Cyborg was spewing and Cyborg, though yelling in parts, knew that he couldn't get angry. It was certainly enough to keep her amused through the rest of the morning.
When Cyborg complained that he left a particular spare part in his room, Starfire volunteered to get it.
"I shall fetch the Purple Licorice Thingy with a Plugger Gadge-mahoojig," she said with a cheerful smile.
Beast Boy sighed. "Is that what it was? Why didn't you just say so, Cy?"
Cyborg did not honor the question with a reply. He looked to Starfire gratefully while he continued to twist some wires from deep within the engine. "Would you, Star? Thanks."
Starfire nodded, taking off for the elevators. She went straight to the chamber levels and went to Cyborg's room.
The metal and battery-fluid tang ever present in his quarters filled her nostrils as she searched the tables for the ship part. It didn't take long to find the piece and she was out of Cyborg's room in just a few minutes.
But she found herself hesitating at the door when she spotted Karras just stepping out of Galfore's chambers.
Her mind immediately went to his sister, and she was once again assaulted by an urge to put off all possible confessions to him. She had to wonder why it was such an unpleasant task for her, this revelation. She could only explain it as admitting a kind of failure to him, on her part. And admitting to him she was wrong was about as enjoyable to her as being eaten alive by a Chrysalis Hunter.
So there she was, the great and strong princess of Tamaran, saver of worlds and bringer of hope, being a coward in the face of the inevitability of delivering the awful truth.
She turned to run—literally—when Karras called out her name. Of course she had no choice but to respond. She couldn't very well pretend she hadn't heard him. He was right there.
She faced him, stiffly. "Y-Yes?"
He shot her a suspicious frown. He had never seen her uneasy. Even when they were fighting, she would always have a kind of arrogant nonchalance to her bearing, as if to tell him, "I may be angry, but I know exactly what I'm doing!" before she kicked him between the legs.
"I was just about to go look for you. You wanted to talk to me about something earlier?" he said.
She stalled. "Yes."
There was a silence, and for a minute, Starfire wondered if he was at a loss for words, then she realized he was actually waiting for her to say more.
He arched an eyebrow. "Well? What is it?"
Starfire stared a moment. Maybe they should talk about this somewhere else.
Her room?
She immediately scrapped that idea. Her room was personal; a little too private, and as embarrassing as it was to admit, Robin would hate the idea that she had let Karras in there.
She thought about the training room.
There are weapons there.
No, the training room would be a bad place to make such revelations to Karras.
The conference room? Too big. It was like using a salad bowl instead of a spoon to scoop some sugar in a cup of coffee.
This empty hallway was the best private place there was at the moment.
Starfire took a deep breath and finally found the words to begin. "It is about your sister, Xyannis."
There was a tension in his shoulders, like she had held a knife to his throat. For a moment, it looked as if he didn't want to hear about what she had to say, but then he relaxed, leaning back against the wall opposite her. He crossed his arms over his chest and the brilliance that was Karras's devil-may-care eyes shone like dark daggers. "What about Xyannis?"
"I knew her."
He remained silent, watching her.
She had to admit, the look on his face was intensely intimidating, as if he was waiting for her to make a mistake, and when she did, he would pounce. Perhaps he had always looked like that; had always done that, but until now, she had always reciprocated his animosity; had always matched his battle-stance with her own. Now, he was ready to fight, but she was only good for fleeing.
She swallowed her feelings of inadequacy and pushed herself to go on. "She and I were friends. Dear friends."
His presence pressed on her. She wanted to melt into the walls.
"How?" He asked.
How? She wasn't sure what he meant. How did they become friends? How was it that his wonderful, majestic sister could be friends with a whimpering, delicate, second-hand crown princess? He certainly made it sound like there was no way in the underworld that a friendship could be forged between someone like her and someone like his sister. "W-What?"
"How did you meet?"
She detected the impatience in his voice, but she steeled herself against it. "We were… were slaves with the same master; the same Gordanian master. The first day I came, she caught me crying, and she said I shouldn't cry because it would only upset the Gordanians and I would be whipped for it. She took care of me from then on. When I got whipped, she took the whipping with me, just so I wouldn't think I was alone; so I wouldn't lose hope. When the masters beat me, she would treat my wounds, even if she knew most of them would be gone the next day. When they used the collar on me, she would stay by my cot so she could be there when I woke up from the nightmares. The collars had after-effects when they were used it on us, you see; differing from slave to slave. Some would be sick the entire night, throwing up and getting shivers. Some would have muscle spasms and some would cramp all over. I'm Tamaranian; physically strong, so the collar could only get me through my mind. I had nightmares."
His jaw twitched as he listened to her. She didn't know if he remembered his sister to be so caring. "What was the effect on her?"
It was a strange question. "Pain, in her head. She said it was like something was cleaving her skull over and over and over… it would last hours through the night."
Starfire remembered how sometimes, Xyannis's pain was so severe that she would scream and bang her head on the stone walls, as if she was trying to substitute one pain for another. Starfire remembered going to her, pleading her to stop, especially when Xyannis drew blood. There would be splatters of red on the wall, and Xyannis's filthy bed sheets would be stained anew.
"How long were you with her?" he asked.
"A year… maybe a little less."
"And then your planet took you back."
She nodded.
"I heard the stories." He turned his gaze slightly away from her. "Shortly after the stories of the lost crown princess of Tamaran, we heard a rumor that Xyannis was dead."
Untruth.She sighed. There was no truth whatsoever to the rumor, whatever it was. She had gone back to Gordane after her escape from the ship. She had gone back to the house of the master she reviled. She did it for Blackfire, mostly, but she had seen Xyannis anyway, alive and surviving the way she always did.
It was actually around the time Starfire got to Kalapatt that she became most uncertain about Xyannis's state of being. But even then, Starfire was vaguely certain Xyannis lived, mostly because her sources of information had given her no reason to believe otherwise. By then, she supposed Xyannis's family had every reason to believe she was dead, but still…
In spite of the rumors the Kalapattian Royal Family heard, Starfire could almost feel the delicate string of hope they clung to when they made mention of Xyannis.
If Starfire had brought to them the lie Xyannis wanted her to deliver, that would have shattered their hope completely. In all her years of slavery, she had learned one, all-encompassing truth: She loathed cruelty. It hardly mattered if it was being given or taken, it was horrible all the same. She could not be so cruel as to destroy that desperate sliver of hope they had that Xyannis was alive somewhere, and that one day, she would return to them.
She should not have made that promise to Xyannis; that she would speak the lie. She should have known that she would never make good on that promise.
And that very moment, standing in front of Karras, she would break that promise completely. "She was not dead. She was alive. And when I got to your palace, I supposed her more alive than dead, simply because I knew people who would tell me if something bad had happened to her."
An icy silence fell upon them. He swallowed. "You… knew?"
"V-Vaguely."
"But there were… " He breathed deeply. By that alone, Starfire could tell he was getting angry. "There were people you could ask? People who could tell you? Could you have… could you have found her?"
Starfire tensed. "Not likely. Even then, it was difficult to find people. I was—I was trying to find my own sister. I was—I had many things to worry about—"
Oh X'Hal! she thought in despair. My excuses sound so wretched! Even to me!
"You were in our castle for six months. You could have said something. You could have—"
"I know. But she did not want to be found. You must believe me when I tell you this, Karras." She prayed he would not ask for details. She prayed that he would spare himself the pain of her having to tell him that Xyannis had wanted them to think she was dead.
His face was beginning to contort into a fierce scowl. "What do you mean she didn't want to be found? Why wouldn't she want to be found? We were her family! I wanted to find her!"
She gritted her teeth. "Just that, Karras. She did not want to be found! Please do not make me explain it."
He pushed off from his wall, moving a little closer. "It does not make any sense." His voice was grating, like a barbed whip. It actually made her step back. There was a wall behind her.
Goodness. Nowhere else to run.
"You must explain, because it doesn't make any sense!" he finally yelled. "You knew! You could have found her! You could have told us! Why did you not tell us?"
She swallowed, eyes widening at the accusatory glare. "I made a promise…"
He banged his palm against the wall beside her head and the sound rang through her ears. She yelped, pressing her back against the wall.
"K-Karras!" Her heart jumped and began to drum against her chest. "I am sorry, but I couldn't--!"
He grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and she actually panicked. She could push her off him, of course. She was at least as strong as he was, but her resolve had weakened. She was powerless, because she was sorry, and he had every reason to be enraged.
"Is she alive now?" he ground out through grit teeth. She struggled to reply, but he had grown impatient. He shook her, frustrated because she was saying nothing. "Tell me if you know, Koriand'r. Tell me now!"
She squeezed her eyes shut, wrenching her gaze from his horribly penetrating eyes. "Karras, l-let go!"
And then the grip from her collar was gone. She fell to the floor, weak-kneed, only then realizing that his rough hold had been the only thing holding her up at all. She released a breath, as if she had been choking on his aura, and she gasped, opening her eyes.
Robin was there, out of nowhere, slamming Karras against the opposite wall. Robin jammed one arm across Karras's throat while he twisted Karras's striking arm in the other.
Karras's protested with a gurgled cry.
Robin tightened his lock. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Karras?"
Starfire could see Robin straining. It was no small feat for a human to overcome a Kalapattian, but Robin was managing it, and worse, he was managing it because he was furious.
"R-Robin!" she cried, coming to her senses. She pushed herself off the floor. "Robin, please, let him go! He wasn't hurting me! Richard!"
At the sound of his birth name, he responded, releasing Karras roughly.
Karras tumbled to the side. It took him no more than two seconds to recover before the fire in his eyes returned.
Robin stepped in front of her, as if to protect her. She wasn't entirely unappreciative of it. After all, she had wanted to get away from Karras, even if she knew he wouldn't really hurt her under the circumstances.
Karras must have understood Robin's body language, because he scowled. "I wasn't going to—"
"Don't you touch her, Karras" said Robin in a menacing tone. "You touch her and I'll make you suffer so bad, you're gonna want me to put you out of your misery, you son of a—"
Starfire gasped. "Robin! Please!"
She simply couldn't let it get out of hand. The atmosphere was too charged for her to leave both men to their own devices. She had a distinct understanding of where Karras was coming from, but Robin… she was shocked by the ferocity in Robin's tone. She couldn't understand exactly why he was so angry. He had seen her hurt by others. He had seen her hurt by Karrasbut this seemed so apart from all that, like it was coming from somewhere else, altogether.
Robin fell silent, but his gaze remained on Karras. Robin said nothing, but the air was thick around him; oppressive enough for even Karras to keep still.
Gingerly, Starfire slipped from behind Robin. Perhaps it was the best time to speak calming words. "I—Karras, I did not wish to keep the truth from you, but I was bound by a promise to her. As it is, I am breaking my promise to her right now, telling you she is alive. She did not want you to know. She did not—"
"What do you—" He stopped, realizing that he was yelling. He tried again. "What do you mean by that?" he asked in a calmer tone. "What do you mean she didn't want us to know?"
"I did not know why, then, but now… she is alive. I saw her a few weeks ago, here on Earth. It was by accident, you see. I did not expect… well, neither of us did. She was working with Blackfire—"
"A few weeks ago? Blackfire?" His tone was rising again. "What does Blackfire have to do with this? Talk sense!"
She sighed, grasping her head in her hands as she bowed it in frustration. She was messing the entire thing up, not to mention the fact that Robin's ominous presence was half-terrifying, half-reassuring.
She had known telling Karras the truth would be bad, but not this bad.
Starfire looked up, catching the confusion, hurt and anger in Karras's gaze. She tried to settle the chaos in her nerves. "Alright. Alright then. We must discuss this in a calm, civilized manner. I—I need to sit. We all do. This will be a long story…"
After a pause that could have crushed them all flat from the weight of it, Karras nodded, swallowing the tension around him.
"Conference room, then," he said, already turning to leave. "You could bring your bodyguard with you if you want."
Starfire flinched, only partially relieved that Karras was going back to his normal, sarcastic self. She watched Karras walk away, thinking about how much of a disaster the entire thing was. When Karras disappeared at the corner, she finally turned to look at Robin.
He hadn't moved, and he wasn't looking at her. His gaze remained where Karras had disappeared to.
She bit her lip anxiously before she spoke. "I am sorry I upset you, Robin. I did not mean for him to—"
"Don't apologize for him," he snapped. He took her hand, but there was absolutely no warmth in his grasp, and he began to lead them in the direction Karras took. "Let's get this telling over with and—"
Starfire's gaze narrowed. And why not another emotional rollercoaster? she thought. She may as well stay on the ride.
She stayed in place, snatching her hand from his. "What is wrong with you today, Robin?"
He turned to look at her, his face rendered completely emotionless because of his mask. "What do you mean what's wrong with me?"
"You have been—you have been building this wall since last night. And then you walked out on me before breakfast. This morning, during and after the meeting, you would not even look at me! Is it something I did?"
He frowned. "N-No. It's not—it's not like that…"
"And what is all this? You reacted so violently to Karras!"
His face took on a grim set. "He was hurting you!"
"He was not! It was rather uncomfortable, yes, but it was no cause for you to strangle him and threaten him and—"
"He was touching you!"
Starfire's jaw dropped. "Is this because you are jealous, Robin?"
"No!" he yelled. "I mean, yes! I mean, not really—" He growled and turned to go. "I don't have time to talk about this right now. You have stuff to tell Karras, right? And I've got work to do. So, come on—"
He tried to take her hand again but she slapped it away. That stunned him.
"I will not have it," she growled. "I will not let you put this off again. Let Karras wait. We will talk now. Do you hear me, Richard Grayson? Now!"
Normally, standing her ground would force Robin to see reason, but these were not normal times and the cloud that surrounded Robin's good sense grew thicker.
"Why do we always have to talk, huh?" he said. "Why do I have to keep opening myself up to you? I don't always want to be telling you things, Starfire! Can't you understand that? Sometimes, I just want you to leave me the hell alone!"
Starfire felt like he had slapped her in the face. She blinked, her jaw dropping.
I will not cry. He does not mean what he is saying. He would never purposely hurt me…
But the sting in her eyes was unbearable and her gaze went liquid.
"Oops."
It was a foreign voice, belonging to neither of them. Starfire cleared the blur of tears pooling in her eyes by blinking. That misplaced "Oops," had thrown a wrench in the drama.
She looked. It was Cyborg and he was standing awkwardly at the end of the hallway. His eyes could not meet theirs.
He made a nonsensical gesture. "I was just… well…" he stammered. "The purply licorice… thingama…"
Starfire wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand and she looked around her. She found the spare part not too far away and picked it up. "H-Here. I am sorry I took my time…"
Cyborg waved her apology away. "It's totally fine," he said, sounding like he was in a bit of a rush. He took the coiled wire from her and hurriedly turned to leave. "I'll see you downstairs. Or not. Take your time. I mean… yeah. Bye."
He fled.
It certainly took the cry out of her, and she caught Robin's gaze. She looked at him tentatively; fearfully. As if to plead with him: "You will take back what you said, won't you? You did not mean to hurt me, did you?"
Robin expelled a breath, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. Then he looked up. "Jesus, Starfire. I'm sorry I said those things. I didn't mean them. I'm so sorry—"
She was too relieved to be angry. "It is… alright." She swayed a bit. She felt like someone had spun her relentlessly on a merry-go-round until she screamed to be let off, and when the merry-go-round stopped, it was done so suddenly that her world was still turning.
She felt his arms around her. That was good. She sank into it.
If Cyborg hadn't shown up, what a painful predicament they would be in, right now.
He whispered more apologies, making up for his hurtful words by supplementing it with assurances of how he appreciated having her to listen to his issues; that her mere presence often calmed his taut nerves. He chastised himself for being insensitive and cold and alienating. And he promised to do better next time.
His words helped. She listened, and she let the balm work.
"Will you tell me now, Robin?" she asked quietly.
She felt his chest rise and fall then he replied. "Yeah."
He released her from his embrace, but he twined his fingers through hers. He went to the side of the hallway, sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall. She sat in front of him, so that she could look him in the eyes.
She would let him keep the mask on. It was easier for him that way.
"They're taking you away from me, Kori," he said in a soft, defeated tone. "I could feel it. I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to keep you away from your people, but I couldn't stand it. I don't want to hate Galfore, or Taryia or Wyfern or… even your brother, whom I've never met. But I resent them for winning a piece of you everyday. If they could do that while you're here, with me, then how much more could they take from you when you're back with them in Tamaran?"
"But Richard, I am not going to Tamaran."
He smiled wanly. "Really?"
She had a feeling the question was rhetorical.
"Because you should," he said softly. "You should. I can't tell you why, but you should. You probably already know you should."
She shook her head. He was wrong. She understood his insecurity, but he didn't have to be afraid. "I do not think I should… but if I do go back with them to Tamaran, it will not be on a permanent basis. Goodness, why do you even assume I would go there by myself? I would want you and the others to come. I think that if I have to do something I do not want to do, I should derive some pleasure out of it by showing you my home planet."
"Kori… if you left for Tamaran, of course we'll go with you." He cupped her face gently with his gloved hand. "But…"
"But, what?"
He looked at her, fear clear in every line of his face. "Its pull is strong enough, twenty six light years away. I'm afraid that if you go there, it's not going to let you go."
She sighed, her heart reaching out to him. "Oh, Richard no… it will never be like that. I will go where you go. I will stay where you stay. Do not be afraid." She kissed him, as if to seal the promise.
His hold on her was tight, and the kiss went so deep that she was already thinking up ways to continue this somewhere more private, but it was Robin who pulled away.
He looked at her. He had something more to say, and he looked as if he'd rather not say it, but he had promised to do better, and he would keep his promise now, at least.
"I was…" He tore his gaze from hers. He took his time and he swore a bit under his breath. "Maybe I was a little jealous of that prick."
She frowned, but she did not chastise him. It was hard enough for him to admit it outright. He already knew he was wrong to feel it. No need for her to say it.
He looked mortified, but he forced himself to speak. "I heard you when you started talking to him in the hallway. Honestly, I didn't want to hear it, whatever it was, but then you began to say things and… I couldn't shut it out."
She cringed. She hadn't wanted him to know how bad her slavery had been. "I am sorry you heard that. You did not need to know about all that."
"The worse part about it was: I was more pissed at the fact that you told him and you didn't tell me."
She rolled her eyes. "Oh mercy…"
"I'm sorry. I'm a selfish asshole, I know. I mean, there you were, talking about how bad it was over there and all I could do was be jealous." He looked so ashamed.
She shook her head. "It is not that," she said gently. "The reason I told him and not you is because—well, it wouldn't have affected him as much as it would have affected you. He doesn't care anything about me, so you see; what would it matter to him if those things happened to me? He might say it was horrible, but after that he would shrug and probably make some crack about how I deserved it."
He frowned. "Nobody deserves to be treated that way. You least of all."
"Goodness, I know, Richard. I am just saying that is how he would probably react."
"Then that just makes him a bigger asshole than I am. On top of all that, I heard him yelling at you and then I saw him manhandling you."
"Oh, Richard, it was not that bad."
"Well, what the hell was I suppose to do? I was jealous and he was treating you like shit. That was all the excuse I needed. I so wanted to beat the crap out of him."
"I thought you were a teensy bit excessive."
"Yeah, well…"
"But thank you, anyway." She placed a dainty kiss on his cheek.
He somewhat grudgingly allowed it. "I wasn't being excessive." He muttered. "Think of it from my point of view. It was bad enough he came out of nowhere looking like some hot-shot planetary prince, but he affects you—"
"Negatively, Robin."
"Yeah, negatively. And you know what? I actually liked that you hated him. It comforted me. How pathetic is that?"
It was slightly pleasing that he felt that way, but it was all wrong. He had more to be jealous about with Aqualad than with Karras. She did not say that, though. He seemed very fragile now.
"But then this morning, you were—you were getting along. You're beginning to like this guy, aren't you?"
She gaped at him. "Auron curse me, Richard! You must be joking."
"I am not joking. I've been thinking about all that, and then you had your little drama in this hallway… something had to give, you know!"
She scowled. "Well, Richard, if it makes you feel any better, he told me this morning that he was in love with Taryia and that she cared for him in return."
Robin rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. Are you going to tell me that that walking pile of ego doesn't enjoy playing around with women?"
Starfire grimaced. "Well…"
After a heartbeat, she suddenly realized it was all so silly, so she did the only think she could think of doing: She promptly hit Robin upside the head.
He was jolted speechless.
She planted her fists on her waist. "How can you even think I would be attracted to a man like that, Robin? What do you think; that I would let him hit me over the head with a club then let him pull me around by the hair like some caveman? Are you completely gone of your senses?"
His mouth hung open. He blinked and stared like he couldn't believe that she had hit him like that.
He looked so unlike his constantly composed self.
Her disapproval of him melted away, slowly being replaced by the hilarious realization that the Kung Fu Master was completely useless in the face of a yapping girlfriend who had just given him a slap to the head.
She began to laugh. At first all she could do was laugh and point, and then she was rolling on her back in laughter. It probably wasn't as funny as she thought, but she kept remembering the look on his face and it just kept fueling her guffaws.
Mercifully, he started to laugh with her. Either he realized how ridiculous he looked or he realized how ridiculous the whole thing about his jealousy was.
She sincerely hoped it was the latter.
When they finally got their laughter under control, they took deep, calming breaths.
Robin leaned back against the wall, looking at her. "Need company telling Karras the rest of the stuff about Xyannis?"
She thought about it. "Not really, Robin. Honestly, I do not think he ever thought about hurting me for this. He just got a bit upset, that is all. I was expecting it."
"I think I'll go with you, anyway."
She smiled, taking his hand. She did not need to tell him that he had to behave himself if he didn't want to get thrown out of the conference room. "Let us go then. I think we have kept His Royal Highness waiting long enough."
"Perish the thought."
Robin got to his feet, bringing Starfire up with him.
On impulse, she wrapped her arms around him, closing her eyes and sighing as she pressed her cheek to his chest.
He returned the embrace, his hold tight. "You alright?"
She nodded. "Richard… once upon a time, I crossed the galaxy, leaving my home behind. I traveled twenty six light years from my home planet to this strange world where everything seemed to be underwater. I knew not why I had gone so far to a planet such as this. These last few years, being with the team, and being with you… now I know. Now I know why."
The End.
Just kidding!
To be continued…
Author's notes: Thanks so much for your patience!
My detailed replies will follow shortly!