Chapter 3 Where Morgan Lands
Morgan comes up through purple puddle
Morgan: ...THAT was weird... Where are we? Lauryn? looks around Lauryn? LAURYN? SHE LEFT ME! Oh, that's just great. This is all turning out to be EXACTLY like my last birthday... At least I'm not at an international airport this time... And YOU'RE here to comfort me, Dan.
Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence
Morgan: tears up You always know what to say to make me feel better hugs picture and gets paper cut
Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence
Morgan: Well, I guess we'd better find a police officer or something to show us the way home... Come on.
Morgan and the Picture of Daniel Radcliffe travel not very long and not very far.
Nonetheless, Morgan is very weary when we next see her
Morgan: Oh Dan, I don't know if I'll be able to make it. All this physical excersion is tough on me! And look at my skin! I've gone a whole fifteen minutes outside without sun block! My complexion is RUINED! holds up deathly pale arm LOOK! breaks down sobbing
Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence
Morgan: Oh Dan, even your tender words of comfort can do nothing for me now. I'm tired, and hungry, need sun block and sugar. No words could compensate for those losses. But we must soldier on. Just sitting here feeling sorry for ourselves won't get us anywhere. Hmmmm, Dan?
Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence
Morgan: SHUT UP! I don't need your back sass! hits picture
Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence
Morgan: rushes to picture I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to. I was just so tired... And you weren't helping... But I'm sorry, it won't happen again. I promise! I PROMISE! breaks down sobbing
Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence
Morgan has gotten over her fatigue and hunger, and continues to brave the elements. She walks through wind, snow, sleet, rain, sun, and worst of all, a wave of babies. All the time, the loyal Picture is by her side. Suddenly, Morgan comes to a familiar looking pass. Footsteps are heard in the distance, and Morgan cranes her neck to try and see who it is... Through a large rock
Morgan: I wonder who it could be...
Orc 1:...Obsessed with hairy blue eyed creatures
Orc 2: Hmm...let's go capture this girl..maybe she'll entertain us somehow..
Orc 1: Sure...
Morgan: Uh oh! Looks like we ought to get out of here! God knows that things that like hairy blue eyed creatures are REALLY creepy, and usually mentally unstable. Let's high tail it outta here! runs away clutching pictureMorgan is running with her beloved picture, and deep frown creasing her forehead. She is deep in thought while running, which causes her to run into four trees, a shrubbery, AND a garden Nome before she decides to stop and finish thinking
Morgan: ...You know, those voices back there did sound awfully familiar...
Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence
Morgan: gaspMy God, you're right! They WERE orcs from 'the Lord of the Rings'!...Which is inferior to 'Harry Potter' in almost every way! dawns on her what she just said HEY! How many times do we have to go over this? You can insult me, you can insult the county I come from, you can ever insult my mother if you want, but don't you ever EVER insult 'the Lord of the Rings', do you hear me?
Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence
Morgan: That's what I thought. So, anyway, were do you figure we are? I mean, Canada certainly doesn't have orcs...
Picture of Daniel Radlciffe: silence
Morgan: What do you mean they're all in the Yukon? The Yukon doesn't have orcs! What a stupid thing to- Ooooooooh! Peeeerdy!
Morgan and the Picture are met by the sight of a massive city made entirely of stone. Yes, this is the city of Minas Tirith, the city of the King. Morgan and the Picture stand on a hill and take in the beauty and majesty of the city with awe
Morgan: Why can't WE have a place like that?
Morgan and the Picture have entered Minas Tirith, and walk around. They enter the local market, in order to meet and greet some of the locals
Morgan: Wow, who'da thunk that Belgium would have such a complex layout? I mean, we got lost FIVE TIMES just going down a straight pathway!
Morgan and the picture walk along a pathway, and pass an old man in white being followed by a short man it seemed. Morgan stares after them in complete astonishment, but they don't seem to notice. She quickly snaps out of it
Morgan: Don't stare, it's rude!
Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence
Morgan: mutters Typical...
Morgan walks through market place, looking at the different vendors and such. The one and only Guard in all of Minas Tirith comes walking down the street, and looks at Morgan confusedly. It is just then that she remembers that she has not changed clothes since jumping into the puddle, and because it had been summer vacation back home, six days before that. The Guard walks up to Morgan
Guard: Hey, you? Where have you found clothing so strange? I know not of any peoples who dress thus...
Morgan: ...uh...yes...thinks: thank GOD I read lots of Shakespeare back home! well...uh...you see... runs away
the Guard runs after Morgan, which proves to be an easy task, because Morgan quickly gets a cramp, and doubles over
Morgan: OH GOD! MY SIDE! DON'T JUST STAND THERE, CARRY ME!
Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence
Morgan: Bad back my ass. Oh, you're useless! tries to run, but falls over muffled Oh God...
Guard: catches up Get up! Get up, and tell me where thou hadst attained thine clothing!
Morgan: forced through loud gasps ...Is that even...grammatically correct?
Guard: SHUT UP! kicks Morgan
Morgan: groans
Guard: Come on, thou art coming with me!
the Guard picks Morgan up, and carries her off through the market place
the Guard, Morgan, and her beloved Picture enter a large hall made of stone. At the end of the hall, a man sits brooding. He looks up when the Guard comes in. Of course this is
Denethor, Steward of the city
Denethor: What is this? points to Morgan
Guard: I found her in the market place, my Lord.
Denethor: EXCELLENT! Let us say nothing of why you have brought her hither, or anything else regarding her. She shall stay in my house as my guest, because this is fan fiction, and nothing has to make sense here!
Guard: ...Fair enough...
Morgan: weakly woot
Morgan, the Picture and Denethor are sitting in the hall once more. Denenthor is giving a lecture on the importance of tomatoes, and Morgan looks quite bored. Suddenly, the doors of the hall open, and a man comes walking in. Of course this is Faramir, son of Denehtor. Morgan watches him with a slack jaw and begins to drool
Denethor: Aaaah Faramir, my son. Returned from battle, I see? Note the lack of coolness and ill will?
Faramir: Indeed, Father, I do. Perhaps it might interest you to know that we had to abandon an important border of your country that has historical and cultural significance to our people, and may or may not prove crucial in the impending battle.
Denehtor: ...Oh well shrugs Anyway, meet...uh... what was your name again?
Morgan: ...Morgan?
Denehtor: Oh, yes! Morgan! I took her in for absolutely no reason! I didn't even know her name until five seconds ago!
Faramir: looks around...Is this a Mary-Sue?
Denethor: shifts eyes...Of course not! pushes Morgan in front of Faramir Now go! Go form a forbidden love so I can object to it later, and create much angst!
Faramir: ...Whatever shrugs
Morgan: shrugs
Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence
Faramir and Morgan are out riding horses... on Peleanor Field... They seem to be having a grand old time!
Morgan: laughs Oh Faramir, I'm having such a wonderful time with you. You're so different from the other guy I know. He is rude, obnoxious, obscene, and slightly repetitive. But you... you... dreamy sigh
Faramir: chuckles dreamily You know, Megan-
Morgan: Morgan
Faramir: Morgan. You are so different from Eowyn- I mean, other girls that I know. You are... so different from other girls I know.
Morgan: sighs...Isn't this field supposed to be surrounded by dangerous orcs right now?
Faramir: Well, yah, and I'm supposed to be off fighting them right now, what's your point? ...Aren't you supposed to be afraid of horses?
Morgan: ...Point taken shuts up
Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence
Morgan and Faramir: SHUT UP!
Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence
the Guard is walking around the passageways of Minas Tirith, patrolling the city. Suddenly, he comes upon upon a random closet in the solid walls. He looks quite confusedly at it, and ponders what a closet could be doing in the middle of a solid wall. He reaches down for the handle, and turns it. Pulling the door open, he reveals Morgan and Faramir snogging inside the closet. They looks up momentarily from their activity to see who opened the door. Having seen it was only the Guard, Faramir reaches over, and closes the door again
Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: pops out of nowhere single tear runs down paper cheek
Morgan: What do you mean unfaithful? I've cheated on no one!
Picture of Daniel Radlciffe: silence
Morgan: YOU? I've not once- okay, so that one time I told you I loved you and only you, but that was only that one time, and you can't expect to hold me to my word when you know very well that I was quite drunk at the time that I said it!
Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence
Morgan: So THAT'S how it's gonna be, eh? Well, two can play at that game, I'll have you know. Soon enough, you'll find that YOU will be the one crawling back to ME! storms out of room in self righteous huff
Morgan storms down hallway, undoubtedly looking for Faramir. She looks in a few rooms, obviously to no success. She seems to get fed up, and stops storming, and prepares to scream
Denethor: FARAMIR! perfectly in synch with Morgan opening her mouth to call for him
Morgan runs into the main hall to see Denehtor yelling at Faramir
Denthor: LET ORCS TAKE IVER MY COUNTRY, WILL YOU?
Faramir: weakly I didn't mean to...
Denthor: I DON'T CARE! YOU GET YOUR LAZY ASS OUT THERE AND TAKE BACK OUR BORDERS!
Faramir slowly exists the hall, looking dejected. Morgan follows him closely
Morgan: Where are you going?
Faramir: Fighting
Morgan: Can I come?
Faramir: No
Morgan: Will you come back for me?
Faramir: N-Yes. Yes I will...
Morgan: I'll wait for you!
Faramir: ...You do that...leaves hall to go get...war stuff
Morgan: sighs in despair What ever shall I do without him?
Aunt Bunny Apparition: Find my razor, damnit!
Morgan: What?
Aunt Bunny Apparition: I said "Find my razor, damnit!"!
Morgan: Oh...Okay... clueless look
Aunt Bunny Apparition: annoyed sigh You don't remember, do you?
Morgan: shakes head
Aunt Bunny Apparition: groans All right... FLASHBACK!"..and find my razor..some guy with a beard stole it from me many years ago..." Remember now?
Morgan: shifty eyes...yes... But couldn't you just buy another razor?
Aunt Bunny Apparition: No
Morgan: Why not?
Aunt Bunny Apparition: Because this razor is the one razor of DOOM! thunder claps, all lights go out, and a chill falls everywhere
Morgan: Ooooh! Foreboding...
Aunt Bunny Apparition: SHUT UP! ...Anyway, this is the single most evil thing in the universe, and it must be destroyed.
Morgan: thinks This is familiar from somewhere, isn't it?
Aunt Bunny Apparition: ...Do you know where you are?
Morgan: Belgium?
Aunt Bunny Apparition: ...No. You're not in Belgium. You're in a city called Minas Tirith... In a country called Gondor... With a guy called Faramir...Who has a father called Denethor...Where are you?
Morgan: ... thinks real hard... Belgium?
Aunt Bunny Apparition: YOU'RE IN MIDDLEEARTH!
Morgan: I'M IN MIDDLEEARTH! runs around screaming I want to meet Faramir!
Aunt Bunny Apparition: ...You have got to be THE stupidest person I've ever seen
Morgan: giggles yah...
Aunt Bunny Apparition: sighs Just find the friggin' Ring Bearer and get my razor, okay?
Morgan: Okay... Where is he?
Aunt Bunny Apparition: How the hell should I know? What am I? A friggin' Encyclopaedia? Just find him, okay?
Morgan: Sure thing Aunt B!
Aunt Bunny Apparition: shudders I'll pay you never to call me that again
Morgan: OKAY!
Aunt Bunny Apparition: Good-bye disappears
Morgan: ...huh...
Morgan packs her bags to leave, seemingly very angry
Morgan: mutters Stupid inanimate picture... I'll teach him... finishes packing bags and leaves. ALONE