Note: Wow, two chapters in one day, thats gotta be some sort of record for me, usually I'm very bad with updating my stories. I had to get through the most boring 41/2 ours of work ever with all these ideas for the story running through my head. REALLY not good. One customer thought it must be closing time as I was so destracted ... plus there was a lady walking backwards past our shop - that's right ... BACKWARDS! At least I know where I'm headed now and which character is which. So don't fret!

Furlings are Cats: Thanks for being my first reviewer, hurrah! And yes, I am sorry for the randomness, but try it sometime, it's really soothing just to write nonsence. And yes, there are plans for many more chapters, and although it's random I promise you theres a very good story and a terrific moral buried very, VERY deep.

Only Memories: Unfortunatly this isn't REALLY a Sheyla fic, but heck, it's not really anything. There will be Sheyla moments involved though as it is a VERY random fic and will have ... well, LOTS of RANDOMNESS!

Orka: I'm glad you thought it was 'col' don't know what it is, but bound to be good. And I dunno whats with his beautiful hair, just came out. It was written to focus on his thoughts and I'm sure he thinks he has beautiful hair, so it went in.

fififolle: Like the name, very confusing and hard to write. I liked the head butt too, hehehehe ... and I'm glad you used the word Jolly, it's a good word.

Disclaimer: Oh please, like I'm good enough to own StarGate or StarWars. Anything you notice to be property of either of these 2 things is obviously NOT mine as I am not George Lucas OR MGM. Thankyou.

StarWars: Atlantis!

Chapter 2: Teal'c the Slave Pirate!

Breakfast the next morning was not at all pleasent for John Sheppard. His Uncle had given him a long list of what needed to be done around the farm, expecting poor ol' John to get it all done before the day was over. John had not been happy. He was sick of farm work, tied of being 32 and still living at home, fed up with waking up every day to the same old thing and just plain pissed off that he had no life.

He had argued with his Uncle for hours at breakfast, between spoonfuls of his Aunts terrific home made porridge. Johns request was simple, all he wanted to do was to have one day off so that he could go to the city, spend the day there and maybe meet a girl or two. Get him a way from the rotten old farm, but his Uncle simply would not allow it. His Aunt had taken his side.

'Oh for heavens sake Bowen you old bat, let the boy spend a day in the city,' she had said. John winced at being called a boy.

'No,' was his Uncles answer.

'You can't keep him locked up forever you know, he needs to have time to explore and get away. There's just too much of his father in him,' his Aunt said.

Bowen growled at this. 'That's what I'm afraid of you stupid women,' he spat.

It was then that John knew he wasn't going to get his way. Whenever his mother and father were brought into the conversation he knew it wasn't going to end well. He never knew his mother, or his father and noone ever spoke about them, EVER! Which totally sucked, but John was used to it by now.

So after the argument and many bowls full of porridge, John reluctanlty made his way out into their massively deserted back yard to start some much needed farm work. He paused for a moment just to look up at the morning sky when he saw something that made him drop his shoe and say, 'what in all things frozen is THAT?'

It wasn't even that big a deal, mearely a flying star ... only problem was, you NEVER saw flying stars during the day ... okay, so I lied, maybe it was a big deal.

John took a few moments to watch the star shoot through the sky before - 'JOHN GET YOUR LAZY BUTT BACK TO WORK!' When next John looked back up at the sky he had lost track of the star. Once again he sighed loudly and got back to the list.

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Rodney McKay stood up slowly and rubbed his sore rear end. The small escape pod that the dumb little kid had put them in had crashed landed rather unceremoniously in the middle of a vast and baren land. Rodney didn't like the look of it ... there didn't seem to be any food for miles.

'Well I hope you're happy,' he said, squinting in the sun light as he took in the miles and miles of sand that surrounded them. 'We're in the middle of nowhere with no food and sore arses.'

Jinto let out a cranky beeping noise, which probably meant something like,'don't blame me you tiny, little man.'

McKay rolled his eyes. Of all the people he had to be stuck with, he landed a boy with a dome shapped head that couldn't speak english and whom was named Jinto. I mean, who calls there kid Jinto? He was beginning to wish he had stayed on the space ship with that Teyla women. She was no blonde, but man she had a good set of -

Jinto bleeped again and shoved past Rodney.

'Watch it ya little brat,' he said, but Jinto wasn't listening, he was off again, rolling along the sandy desert floor.

Rodney was determined not to follow, he didn't need the stupid kid, he could get along just fine without him. A howl echoed around the mountain tops that just happened to appear in the middle of the desert for this particular moment. Rodney shuddered, desert wolves ... how he hated those. There was nothing for it ...

'Jinto - wait for meeeee!' he sang as he ran after the strange boy.

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Teal'c was having a bad day. He had a listing of over 30 properties he had to visit and he only had 7 slaves to show to each one. And they were probably the worst 7 you could ever encounter. Two of them were mutes who had trouble following orders; another was a deaf aracnaphobiac who had no teeth and only 3 fingers; the next was a man named Blaire ... he was from Australia, an alcoholic; then came the armless man, the legless man and the headless man. Pathetic!

What Teal'c really needed was some slaves worth selling, some slaves that would at least make him a dollar or two, not these other toads who were good for nothing.

The large man kicked at the sand angrily then picked up his staff weapon and killed one of the mutes. He immediatly regretted it ... now he only had 6 pathetic slaves. 'Curse you Apophis,' he shouted, making all the slaves jump and huddle close. Teal'c didn't know who Apophis was, but it felt good to curse him. So he did it again ... and again ... untill, somehow, over his loud and thunderous voice, he heard other voices. Well at least one voice, the other voice seemed not to be a voice at all but a series of beeps and whirls. Teal'c thought this to be rather odd, so he stood up to take a look.

In the distance, fast approuching was a man and a boy. They seemed to be arguing over something, the mans voice was raised and the boys beeps had turned into angry blurps. One thing was for certain though, they were definitely lost ... Teal'c knew this because at that exact point the man, who happened to raise his voice loud enough for Teal'c to hear, said, 'great, now we're lost!'

Immediatly Teal'c tightened his grip on the staff weapon and approauched the two newcomers. If they were lost, they were as good as his.

Rodney, who was busy arguing with the boy Jinto, did not see the extremely large, bald, black man that stood out like a sore thumb, who was walking towards him.

'Halt,' Teal'c said in his booming voice, making Rodney jump and Jinto squeel. 'You are trespassing on my land and therefore give me the right to capture the two of you and make you my slaves. Do you have owners?'

Rodney blinked several times before finally finding the right words to say to the man. 'What the hell are you talking about?' he asked rather dramatically. Jinto let out a small whirl. Although Rodney couldn't understand the boy, he gathered that that was his way of agreeing or approving of what Rodney had asked.

'That's just what I thought,' Teal'c said and before Rodney knew what was happening, Teal'c raised one extremely muscular arm with one rather heavy and nasty looking staff weapon in toe, and brought it crashing down on the top of Rodney's head. The next thing Rodney saw was complete and utter darkness.

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'John!' John tried to ignore his Uncle's call. He wasn't in the mood to have more orders barked at him.

'John, answer your Uncle please!' This time it was his Aunt calling to him. He sighed, but still didn't respond.

'John, can you please come inside!' His Uncle again, wasn't he ever going to give up.

'John can you bloody go inside so the rest of us can have some peace and quiet,' his next door neighbour yelled as he threw an orange at Johns head.

John picked up the orange and threw it at the sandy ground rather dramatically. It splatted into billions upon billions of gooey peices ... somehow. This made John feel a little better.

'You answer me next time I call you, boy,' his Uncle said angrily as John finally showed up at the house.

'I was busy,' John said.

'With what? Star gazzing again ... pathetic.' John ignored his Uncle as he continued. 'I have another job for you to do. We need to go pick out our slaves.'

'Slaves? What slaves?' John asked, slightly shocked. Slaves were for farmers who didn't have enough workers to lend them a hand. John and his Uncle had taken care of the farm on their own for as long as John could remember.

'The slaves that we're going to go pick up. Now go get ready,' his Uncle said.

But John wanted to know something first. 'But what do we need slaves for?'

His Uncle paused and looked slightly perplexed. 'Your Aunt wanted me to hire some extra help so that you could have more free time. And seeing as though I can't afford to pay anyone else, I'm getting slaves. That way they can work for free, how lucky are they.'

John was so happy he ignored his Uncles last statement. His Uncle was finally getting some extra farm hands. Which meant that he would have more free time to himself, to explore, to party ... to meet girls ...

'So hurry up and lets get moving, don't have all day you know.'

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Jinto had had to tell Rodney about the predicament that they currently found themselves in and Rodney wasn't happy. Not because they were slaves of the evil slave pirate, Teal'c, whom were to be sold cheeply and forced to work, but because he couldn't understand a word the little shrimp was saying. He had to get the legless man to try and translate for him.

'But I don't want to be sold,' Rodney, who didn't want to be sold, said. 'I want to be back on the ship of Darth Ba'al with that hot Athosian, Princess Teyla.'

But noone was listening to him, for by that time they were all lined up side by side, by Teal'c with a whip, ready to be sold to the highest bider.

Rodney couldn't believe that only yesterday he had been prancing around in his livng room in boxer shorts and an, "I'm with Genius," T-shirt, as happy as Larry.

'Hurry up John, I'd like to pick our new slaves in THIS lifetime.' Rodney turned towards the old man that had just called him a slave. How dare he.

A man, with really unnecessary messy, black hair around about Rodney's age followed the old man. He had to admit, they looked a lot friendlier then Teal'c, if anyone was going to bye him, it had to be someone like these two. He decided to put on the charm as the old man and the messy, haired guy studied the drunk aussie closely.

'Hey, over here,' he said, clicking his fingers and waving his arms in the air. He was careful not to step out of his spot in the line. Teal'c was rather close and that whip looked awfully nasty.

'Hey Uncle, what about this one?' The black haired guy came closer to Rodney. His hair getting messier and messier as he approached.

'This one?' the Uncle asked. 'What's so great about this one John?'

'Well he has arms and legs for a start,' the man named John said, pointing to the other limless slaves. 'And he seems to be able to speek OUR language,' he added, signeling to Blaire the aussie.

'Hmmm, you have a point John ... just don't poke me with it. What can you do though?' the Uncle asked Rodney.

'Pfft, I think the question your looking for is what CAN'T I do, for you see I'm very tallented. Heck, I even know how to build an atomic bomb.' Rodney would have told the old man more, in fact he was going to, it was rather theropudic to talk about himself, but the old man cut him off.

'I've heard enough,' he said. 'I'll take this one and the aussie.'

'Y-you will?' Rodney said, a little shocked. He didn't think he could get that lucky. Teal'c and the old man went to sign some papers and in no time they were leaving. Rodney congratulated himself on a job well done - when he heard a sad little whirr sound behind him. He turned to see Jinto waving goodbye sadly.

Rodney hated children, he hated everything about them. But ... Jinto had grown on him. Even though he had only known him for over a few hours and could never understand him and could never keep up and could never ... nonetheless, he had grown on him. Sort of like a really ugle mole ... it was ugly, but it was yours - and it was attached - and it was there - and it was always going to be there, untill some plastic surgeon removed it or ...

'Hey, what the heck is wrong with you?' the old man said. Rodney spun around, thinking the old man was talking to him, but he wasn't, he was talking to Blaire the drunk aussie. He was on the ground and it almost seemed as though he had passed out. Rodney DID warn him not to drink the whole bottle of moonshine that he traded him with for his picture of a random cute blonde.

'You sold us a broken slave,' John said, stepping up to Teal'c. Teal'c rose himself to his full height.

'There are no refunds.'

'Well you sold us a dud and that's not fair. You cheated us. We want a re-fund.' Rodney smacked his forehead. This John was suicidal.

Teal'c raised his whip, ready to strike, but then seemed to think better of it. 'Fine, choose another one, I don't care. I just like to act tough.' And with that Teal'c put the whip away and sat down.

Immediatly Jinto started buzzing happily, rocking backwards and forewards trying to capture John's attention.

'How about that one?' John said, pointing at Jinto.

Rodney sighed loudly, barely able to believe what he was about to do. 'Yeah, choose that one. I can guarentee he will help you get all of your work done.' He needed to be sick, he couldn't believe he just stuck up for the stupid little brat.

'Okay, okay. That one will do, just hurry up,' the old man said. John fixed up the papers with Teal'c who cursed Apophis loudly as the four of them departed.

Rodney shuffled along slowly as Jinto rolled along beside him. Now they were slaves to some guy who obviously didn't own a brush and some old man who Rodney suspected was related to Batman. His day just kept getting worse and worse ... he just hoped they didn't use whips too.

end

Note: I'm sorry that wasn't exactally the best chapter. I just had to get it out of the way. It's always tough having characters meet up and I dunno, I'm just making excuses. Thanks to my reviewers and sorry it is VERY random and sorry the spelling sucks so bad, but hey, it's fun to write. Next chapter ... character death (NOOOOOOOOOOOO!) but expect Daniel Jackson to make an appearence. Woohoo! That'll chear you up!