"There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you're the only fish for me."

Part One: In which no one wants to date a fairy.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Etc.

Harry's Transfiguration book went flying across the common room, nearly beheading a trembling third-year who was exiting the staircase. They shrieked, and Dean growled angrily as he chose another object to throw. He selected an uncapped bottle of ink that someone had left carelessly within his reach and chucked it against the far wall. Without stopping to admire the interesting pattern that the splashed ink had created, he stooped and searched for something else to throw.

Seamus looked on as Dean went on destroying people's possessions.

"Still mad about Harry and Ginny hooking up, eh?"

"Mad?" asked Dean, a manic glint in his eye. "No, I'm not mad at all. I'm FURIOUS. For God's sake, I know he's a hero and handsome and all that, but seriously. What does he have that I don't? Am I that undesirable?"

"No," said Seamus casually.

Dean didn't notice. Instead he hefted one of Ron's spellbooks and threw it into the fire. Seamus grimaced.

"You're crazy, mate. What did Ron ever do to you?"

"Well, he's Harry's best friend."

"And Lavender?" Seamus asked, watching as Dean tore up her favorite quill.

"She dated Ron."

"Ah."

Seamus carefully moved his Defense essay off the table and folded it into his pocket. After all, he and Lavender were both in Gryffindor, and he didn't want Dean getting any ideas.

"Between you and me, you never seemed to fancy Ginny all that much. So why are you so pissed?"

Dean stopped cold, and Seamus thought he could see a blush spreading across his friend's cheeks…but it must have been a trick of the light, for when he stood and faced his friend, his face was clear and his features were angry.

"What the hell? That's crazy. Of course I fancied her! I wouldn't have dated her otherwise, would I?" His eyes dared Seamus to speak differently.

Seamus didn't take the bait; instead he relaxed into the overstuffed back of his scarlet armchair to watch the proceedings.

Dean turned hesitantly to his friend. "Well, that is to say, I didn't think she was 'the one', or anything, but you know, I just…"

Seamus smiled knowingly. "Relax. There are plenty of fairies in the forest, and you'll find the fairy who's right for you."

Dean suddenly glowed with anger again. "Yeah? Well WHO'D WANT TO DATE A FUCKING FAIRY?"

Well, thought Seamus, as he retreated to the relative safety of the dormitory, he does have a point…