"She found you with what?" Joselyn asked incredulously. Her already earth-shattering smile widened, and Percy felt that jolt again in his chest. He felt it for the first time when he first saw her, a slight swell and flutter, as though his heart were trying to break out of his ribs. He felt it again every so often, not sure why, but knowing he liked it.
"Yes… yes she did." Percy grinned sheepishly at Joselyn's mischevious face. "Hey," he remarked defensively, "a man cannot be blamed for what his mind does when he is asleep."
"Can't he?" Joselyn curled up in the chair, bringing her knees to her chest. Percy felt that fluttering again, and the heat rise to his face. He hadn't told her what he'd been dreaming about, or who he'd been dreaming about. He wasn't planning on it either.
"What's it like?" Percy had been thinking about asking her this question for some time, but he didn't know how to phrase it… or how to say it without making it sound as though he were springing it on her.
"What's what like?" Joselyn uncurled herself from her position, her smile faltering. She took another sip of tea.
"What you do for a living." Percy shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
"Serving drinks isn't so bad, you just need to be careful not to get anything on you." Joselyn giggled, but her heart plainly wasn't in it.
"I don't mean that…" here he paused, wondering how to say such a thing without seeming unforgivable crude. "I mean… the other thing you do."
She did not speak, or laugh, or seem offended. She merely quieted and took another sip of tea. It seemed an eternity before she answered.
"I've grown accustomed to it. Maybe even talented. I couldn't say." She didn't look at him. Her eyes were focused through him, as if he were sitting beside her, watching with her.
"Do you… like it." It felt so cold… asking her these things.
"No… but I wish I did." She crossed her legs and downed the rest of the tea. Percy could not bear to ask another question in this vein. As it turned out, he didn't have to. She continued after a moment.
"I really do wish I did. I wish I could make someone feel so good, so right, so happy, without feeling so empty every time." She closed her eyes, and Percy felt as though he might break something.
"Joselyn," he said after a moment, quietly, for he feared he may choke. "Would you feel badly, if I told you that I cared about you?"
"You care about me Percy?" said Joselyn. Now she was looking right at him, and her eyes were shining. Bright green in the light.
"Yes…" he didn't look at her, afraid of what her face would look like. There was a silence, an agony for Percy who didn't know what to say.
"I have to leave," he said suddenly, needing to say something… anything. "I'm going to be late for dinner."
"Okay," she said, in a tone Percy could not define. He glanced at her as he stood up, and she was looking back at him. He turned to the door and left without saying anything, feeling a fool.