Disclaimer: I. DON'T. OWN. IT. OK! I own SQUAT if it has to do with InuYasha! I own DVDs, sure, but the series? No. Don't remind me.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

V. Will To Live

"Yes, it's me, InuYasha." Came Kikyou's cold voice from underneath the tree. InuYasha abruptly hopped down, facing her.

"Kikyou, Kagome is-" he began.

"I know. I happen to know a lot about the situation."

"You…do?"

"Yes. You found her body, didn't you?"

"Yes, and your – "

"Very good." She said, giving him a cold smile.

"Your so different Kikyou…what happened?"

"I don't feel different, in fact I feel better. I feel so much more like I am a whole."

InuYasha looked at her, into her eyes, trying to sense a fault. She couldn't have. There's not way she could have done it. No way she could have anything to do with the poor girl lying in her own sister's hut.

"Let's walk, shall we, InuYasha?"

InuYasha gave a nod and the two set off to the outskirts of the village. A cold shiver went down InuYasha's spine, his stomach in a not. He didn't feel right around Kikyou, not at ease like he used to. She seemed to be hiding something, something dark she didn't want to tell…yet.

"I know you have avenged my death."

'We did it…you avenged Kikyou, InuYasha…' Hs stomach twisted in a knot as he remembered Kagome's words. She had seemed so crestfallen then. So let down that she had been on that adventure with him to avenge Kikyou's death when the tension between them was horrible at times.

"I never got a chance to thank you." Kikyou said, breaking InuYasha out of his thoughts. He still didn't look at her, not so trusting of her. There was a pause in the conversation until Kikyou spoke his mind.

"You're thinking about her, are you not?"

InuYasha swallowed hard.

"Of course. It is only to be expected of you."

"Yeah…I don't know what's up with her." InuYasha said, still not meeting Kikyou's eyes.

"And you haven't yet stumbled on to someone who has an idea?"

InuYasha felt guilty then for thinking Kikyou would do such a thing to Kagome, to torture him. She was seeming to express concern for her, almost a longing to help…or was it a false sense of kindness? Was Kikyou one of the reasons behind the absence of Kagome's soul?

"No. I havn't. Kaede is helping though."

"She wouldn't be able to figure out anything. Powerful a priestess as she is."

"Kikyou, would you –"

"Would I know about the absence of Kagome's soul?"

InuYasha nodded and waited for Kikyou's answer.

"I would."

He froze and looked at her. "Kikyou, what do you know? I have to know, I have to save Kagome…how can I?"

"There are ways to save her soul." Kikyou started. "But first of all, InuYasha, why do you want to save her is the question you have to answer.

"I –" InuYasha started, "She's one of my friends and people who have been alongside me. One of the only who fully seemed to understand me."

"One of the only."

"I don't mean to sound like I'm not thinking of you, Kikyou."

"But obviously, she means something to you."

"I don't want her dead."

"She isn't."

"I don't want her to be lifeless forever, either."

"Time is running out for her, sadly enough." Kikyou said solemnly. "If you don't return her soul to her she will give up the will to live and she will die."

InuYasha froze at this. "What if she does have will to live? She's determined and strong and –"

"It will eventually run out, InuYasha. No matter who you are." Kikyou shot at him firmly.

InuYasha looked away from her. "Would you give up will to live? If you were in that situation?"

Kikyou looked away as well. "Why do you ask."

"She's your reincarnation, you would know what she may want."

"I am not her InuYasha, nor do I want you to believe I am."

"Still, wouldn't you know?"

"No. I would not."

The two stopped walking for a moment and sat by a tree on the outskirts of the village.

"InuYasha?" Kikyou said softly.

"Yes?"

"Would you take away my existence if you had a choice?"

"Of course not, why would you say something like that?"

"Wouldn't you think it better for me to rest then wander amongst living?"

"No. I want you here Kikyou. I want you to be by my side now that Narraku is dead."

"Did you want me by your side before that?"

InuYasha sat in silence, honest that he did not know. Kagome – the reincarnation of her who was his fighting partner, who he loved, or Kikyou – the first woman who accepted him for who he was and loved him that way?

"I don't know…" he admitted.

"Once again, that should only be expected, though I don't know if it would be so difficult if everything was revealed."

"Everything?"

"Yes. Of course some secrets have been kept for yours and the others own good around you."

"Kikyou…"

"I have no need for those useless soul gathering demons anymore."

"No…you can't have." He started, standing up and looking down at her, disbelief in his eyes.

"I can walk freely now. I am a whole." She said looking up at him, a smile on her face.

"Why…? Why Kikyou?"

"She took what was mine to begin with."

"You took her…?"

"Not her soul. The other half of my own. You fail to realize she stole it from me, took it away."

"She barely had any control over –"

"It doesn't change the fact I rightfully have what is mine now. So, I leave you with a choice."

InuYasha looked down as her, his blood flowing in his veins, boiling with anger and hatred for the woman sitting before him. He wanted to rid her, get Kagome's soul back…the only person who mattered at that moment…

"I leave you with the choice of killing me and returning Kagome's soul back to her or letting me live and Kagome die." She said, standing level with him "You will not have forever to choose, either, InuYasha. You know Kagome's precious time on this earth is running out."

"After avenging you…after –"

"Vengeance isn't a matter as of now. Now it is a matter of who your heart desires more, who you long to be with."

He was silent. He was told he was going to face it, and now he had to…and he didn't have forever to choose. Her life now lay on the line and it wasn't because of a battle. It was because of what was his own mistake, letting her go off without saying a word to her. His own mistake. His fault. Her cost.

Kikyou looked him in the eyes. She walked towards him, placing her hand on his cheek as she passed, grazing it. Then skin beneath her touch felt cold. "Remember this touch?" she whispered. "Remember the feeling?" She stopped in her tracks, putting her other hand on his hand and pressing her lips against his, eyes closed. InuYasha felt his own eyes close, but felt so guilty at the same time, that the woman who had stole Kagome's soul was with him while Kagome's time was running out…but Kikyou's time was endless…his first love…

InuYasha broke apart from Kikyou, his stomach tying itself up once again. "I feel guilty…"

"Don't, InuYasha. If your wish resides to be with me…"

"You, who understood…"

"I, who understood." She spoke, letting her hands slide away from him. "It's ok to be with me, InuYasha."

"I know it is, but –"

"It is in your hands who says with you."

Something grabbed InuYasha's heart. Who did he want to be with? Who did he want to tell that he loved them? Who did he want to caress and hold everyday, every night? Kagome…who lie helpless, Kikyou, who was helping to show him a path he could walk down…

"Your decisions." Kikyou said, turning and walking to the woods.

"Where are you going…?" InuYasha asked after her.

"I'll be back."

InuYasha nodded. Knowing what he felt was what he remembered. Kikyou holding him, that understanding she held in her gaze…she was a whole now. But if Kikyou died, Kagome would be a whole. The one who had fought along his side all this time. Who he had loved, but had been pulled away from by Kikyou. He couldn't let Kikyou get in the way of seeing Kagome. He couldn't… Kagome was dying. Kikyou even said it.

InuYasha darted off towards the direction of Kaede's hut, longing to see her…. It was so confusing now. Kikyou had stolen Kagome's soul…but, why wasn't he mad? Enraged? Was she tricking him into being forgiven? He ran faster, wind hitting against him like sharp needles across his face.

Finally, reaching Kaede's hut, he opened the doorway and came in, being a bit silent, not wanting to wake up the threesome that were sleeping in the corner. He sneered at them, and then turned to Kagome, who showed no sign of living. Or the will to live…just like she had said…

InuYasha sat at her side, looking down at her face, just hoping she might jerk alive at any moment and say something…anything to him. Then he felt hatred against Kikyou. How could she have stolen this part of Kagome? Sure it was her soul, but, why couldn't she live with it? She was breathing, wasn't she?

He looked away from Kagome, or rather her shell and at the ground. "Why did she?" he murmured as he looked back to Kagome. "Can't you fight this? You must have will to live…I know you, Kagome…your stronger than what she's giving you to deal with!"

What Kikyou was giving Kagome to deal with.

Had her hatred run this deep for her? Had the coldness of her body inflicted upon her heart as well? Sure, Kikyou was mad at her, but would she torture them both so much? She had been lying…it seemed as though she had been…

InuYasha placed his hand on Kagome's lifeless one. It was still cold like it had been the night before. Not as, but still was cold. "Your alive, Kagome…" he said as he gripped her hand tightly. "I know you are. But, what am I supposed to do? I can never forget Kikyou no matter what I do, and I can't bear having the burden of having her basically murder you, either."

There was a rustle in the corner the threesome had been in, and InuYasha looked up only to find Miroku rising.

"Did you find anything out?" he said groggily with a yawn.

"I did."

Miroku became more alert. "What?"

"Kikyou did it. And now, I have to choose."

"Well, have you decided?"

"I don't know yet. I have feelings against and for Kikyou."

"Don't you have to know if you could live with her being like this? Of course, Kagome would still be –"

"No. Kagome will be dead if I choose Kikyou. And same for Kikyou if I choose Kagome." He sighed. "Kagome's dying as I speak, loosing will too live."

"That's difficult…"

"Yeah."

"Do you think Kagome would loose the will if she had no soul?"

"Kikyou did say it, she could be lying."

"Her hatred does run deep, InuYasha."

"I think it may have grown." He paused. "But I don't know who I could live with knowing I killed the other."

"True, but InuYasha, you loved Kikyou first…but do you love Kagome?"

InuYasha swallowed hard and opened his mouth to speak, but heard a different voice.

"Has anything changed?" Sango said softly, standing next to Miroku.

"Yes, but I don't think we should explain now." Miroku said to her. "InuYasha has some stuff to think about and I don't know if it would be wise to burden him with more questions than I have asked already."

InuYasha nodded in thanks to this and Sango gave him a heartfelt smile. InuYasha felt he didn't have the strength to return it.

'I…I want you Kagome…but how can I bring myself to kill Kikyou? Of course, I'm mad at her for doing this…but she was the first. She always will be and I can't escape it. But I want you Kagome, I need you back. I have to hear your voice again… Your running out of time, your innocent and I want to choose you now before I loose you…'

InuYasha looked to Miroku. "I need to do something…soon. But I need you two to be there with Kagome so I can remember why I'm doing this."

"What do you need to do…?" Sango asked looking from Miroku to InuYasha.

"I have to kill Kikyou."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

R&R. It's 1:12 A.M. and I just wanted to write this chapter. Maybe I'll edit it or start a new one. Psht, I dunno. But right now I need to sleep.