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Even Knights Cry

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Hermione tried her best to keep from shaking as his fingers wound themselves between her own and squeezed ever so slightly. The fear of reality kept creeping up on her mind every few seconds, and a slight shutter would crawl down her spine. But it was getting harder now to stop the thoughts of the last few days from crossing her mind whenever the moment grew suddenly quiet.

Dumbledore's tomb lay quietly before her, staring back with a haunting white glow about it. It brought back so clearly the memories of the day that everything changed. It seemed to taunt her, play with her mind, drawing forth the memories she had been hiding from herself. Memories of both pain and misunderstanding and that strange longing feeling she had tried to pretend never even existed.

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Hermione couldn't take to look at him anymore. Bill's face, once so whole, was now nothing more than a lump of frayed skin, and it was making her sick to think about what it used to be. Nothing in tonight's events had really sunk in just yet. But seeing the mangled pieces of the face that used to be Bill sent shutters down her spine. Her mind kept screaming the same words out at her, over and over again. But it wasn't as if she had never thought of it before. It was the same thought that crossed her mind after Sirius died the previous year.

It could have been Ron. It could have been Harry. It could have been…me.

Before anyone could stop her, Hermione jumped up from her seat and started for the door Harry and Professor McGonagall had exited through not two seconds before. She needed to leave. She couldn't think about it any longer. It was driving her insane.

Ginny whispered her name softly as Hermione pushed her way by the bed on which she sat. Mrs. Weasley put out her hand and went to rise from her seat until Mr. Weasley sat her back down gently in her chair. But Hermione could hear a shuffle of chairs and feet as she slammed the door of the Hospital Wing behind her, knowing full well who it was coming after her. And in her heart she had hoped he would.

"Hermione, wait!"

His feet pounded on the stone behind her as he ran to catch up. Hermione continued to walk but lessened her long strides, taking due to make it look as if she weren't doing so. Ron strolled up next to her a slight gasp as he inhaled, trying to catch his breath. Hermione did her best to look forward at the long stretch of corridor ahead of them.

"You…you want to talk?" Ron panted as his marching started to match her own. Hermione watched her feet more carefully as thoughts flooded her brain. Nevertheless she nodded slowly and unsurely never fading her straightforward gaze.

Ron seemed to understand her silence and said nothing. They walked the rest of the way to the Gryffindor Tower, without a word, in a quiet full of tension and ache.

Faces swarmed before Hermione's eyes the moment the portrait hole swung open. Arms grabbed at her robes and voices full of terror, anger, and anguish swam through her ears, rocking her brain in a jumble of confusion and hysteria.

"What's happened?"

"Is he dead?"

"Why is she crying?"

"Ron, is Hermione okay?"

She felt herself caught in a swarm of bodies and felt she was smothering.

"Come on, the boy's dorm is empty."

Ron's voice floated to her through the sea of people surrounding them and his hand met her own. "Dean said he'll keep them out for us." She gripped his palm with all her power and felt herself drifting through the midst of the uproar and into the stairwell to the boys' dormitory.

Their feet echoed on the stone walls as they climbed together. Hermione looked sideways at Ron walking beside her and glanced down at their hands still held tight between them.

She had known he was doing this because he felt it his duty as her friend; that was why he had brought her here. But strangely, the face Ron wore wasn't one of irritation or showed any sign that this was only because it was expected of him. It showed that he really cared and was truthfully concerned.

Hermione's heart pounded loudly in her ears. She had been so worried. So scared. And now everything just seemed to melt away. This was the way it needed to be. She had wanted it to be this way for a long time.

The door of the sixth year dorm creaked opened and Ron's strong hand led her over to his bed. Hermione sat down lightly on the scarlet bedcovering. Ron took a seat lightly beside her his arms sitting awkwardly at his sides. They both stared forward, afraid to move, afraid to speak, and mostly just afraid.

Ron's voice finally filled up the emptiness.

"What happened back there?"

Hermione shook her head slightly and stared down at the wood planks of the floor. Nothing she could say could explain what she was feeling. Nothing she could say could explain just how confused she felt right then.

"Just…everything, really."

Ron shuffled on the bed next to her and she could see him nod slightly. "Yeah, I know. It's a lot to take at once. The Death Eaters. Dumbledore. Snape. Bill."

"It is," Hermione whispered softly and not truly conscious of what she was agreeing to. "And just seeing people we know like this… I just couldn't…I was so…" She trailed off suddenly and quickly forgot what it was she wanted to say. But it didn't seem to her that it would matter anyway.

Ron suddenly began inching his hand towards her own again, crawling his fingers across the bed sheets. Hermione felt her stomach falling short and her heart lodged itself in her throat. And when his hot palm finally hit her own, she felt herself feel strangely light. It was just how all the other girls explained it. She never really understood what they had meant when they explained light-headedness…not until now anyway…

"I was…I kept looking for you the whole time, you know?" Ron's hand was trembling in Hermione's grip as the words stumbled from his mouth. Hermione watched his lips move as the words formed on his tongue. He didn't seem to be looking anywhere but at their hands now, and he didn't seem to need to blink quite as often anymore.

"But I was with Luna in Professor-"

"I know…" Ron cut short, shaking his head quickly as though brushing off a horrible thought. "I know that now. I just…I couldn't think straight back there."

Hermione watched him intently now. Ron's blue eyes seemed to have turned into crystals. They were dancing in the light overhead and were gleaming with a strange light she had never seen in them. He still stared forcibly forward, but, those eyes of his, they seemed to flicker her way every other second or two.

"I-I-I didn't know where you were though, Hermione. And I was so… I thought you had…I just hoped you hadn't…"

Ron's face was flushing and his eyes were moving all around the room at once. His free hand brushed over his face, and he quickly stood to his feet, pacing between his and Dean's bed. Hermione watched him in a wicked fascination and bit her lip that she found to be trembling. She wiped her fingertips across her eyes and found tears lingering on her cheeks, but she couldn't remember them getting there.

"Ron…I…I didn't know what was happening either. I had no idea. I was worried too."

"I couldn't stop looking at the people on the floor, Hermione! They were just laying there! Just… laying there!"

Hermione's eyes were burning. They felt liable to catch fire. And as tears dropped down her cheeks she could feel the damp streaks cool her face.

Hermione stood to her feet without willing herself to do so and walked over to Ron's side. She lifted her small hand and tilted his chin ever so gently down to her. His blue eyes were stained with red as they stared at her with a look he had never given her before. One that was a mixture of fear and disappointment. She knew why. She knew what he felt. The feeling that he had to be strong for everyone else. She had felt that too for the longest time.

Hermione smiled up at Ron's freckled face even despite the tears that told of her lie, and she traced her fingers down the sleeves of his shirt. From the bottom of the arms, she rolled the sleeves so that his entire arms bared the long-winded scars that whipped across the whole of his forearm.

"I already know you're strong, Ron." Hermione traced the length of a scar with her forefinger and then rested her hands where the scar ended, in the palm of his hand. "You're already a hero to me and everyone else. You don't have to keep showing me how much of a man you are. We all know how much it really hurts."

Ron gaped down at her his eyes flickering at every inch of her face. He didn't seem to know what to say and Hermione knew he wouldn't.

Hermione gave Ron's hand a final squeeze and then let it fall from his grip. And with that she let herself out of the door and into the common room below just as Harry entered the portrait hole.

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His hand felt warm against her own and she felt her face burn as a blush crept up her neck and painted her face crimson. Her mouth was set in a straight and firm line as she looked ahead of herself, eyes stinging as tears threatened to fall. He squeezed her hand slightly and she looked up into his eyes.

"Hey, are you alright?"

Hermione nodded without the faintest waver in her facial expressions and turned her eyes back forward.

It had been days and no one had yet found the courage to say what was really on their minds. Since Hermione had left Ron on his bed the night of the fight, no one had come close to saying what he or she truly felt. Ron still held a strong chin. Ginny was more silent than she had ever been. And Harry whither he meant to or not, was avoiding everyone's eyes. Hermione had even kept her nose in multiple books for some time now just to avoid the awkwardness. But the longer she waited to say what she wanted that deeper the dagger in her chest dug into her spirit.

Even now, Hermione was finding it hard to resist. She had to force herself not to start wailing in frustration at what was going on inside of her. It took every inch of self-restraint to stop herself from marching up to the tomb before her and yelling at the top of her lungs. She wanted to cry, to scream, to punch something or somebody, to let someone know how much pain this was causing her. Did no one else see that their world was collapsing around them? Could no one else see how terrifying everything was becoming? Or did no one else remember how things used to be?

"Hermione…"

Hermione looked up again, almost afraid she might scream in Ron's face. But her eyes softened and her face fell from it's hard stone expression.

There were tears rolling down Ron's cheeks. Tears were bleeding from his crystal blue eyes. His face, always full of child like laughter and a smirk of pride on his freckled cheeks, was drowned in the droplets cascading down his perfect face.

"Ron. You're…you're…"

"You don't always have to be strong, Hermione." Ron's words rolled from his mouth in a deep sigh, as if he were letting go of a burden he had been carrying. "If I've learned anything from you, it's that it's okay to cry." His eyes bore into Hermione's sending waves of emotion into her spirit. Her eyes filled with tears as the hurt built in her heart burst free. She felt as if she had finally been freed of the pain the last couple of days had caused her. As if she had just released something that had been holding her back.

Ron's arms wrapped around her and she fell into his chest burying her face in his shirt, pouring out her heart, as he gently stroked her hair. Hermione had never felt so safe in anyone's arms before. She felt her heart screaming out the pain that had been trapped for too long. She could finally cry.

In the arms of her brave knight.

THE END