Summery; Warning; Disclaimer: See First Chapter.

Here's more craziness! The next chapter in the chronicles of our semi(maybe)-heros has arrived! Yes, I really did write this at 2 in the morning, and I claim all rights to SPLATTED, which is complete and utter nonsense, thank you! So give me credit if you use it. Please review if you read, and if you have any suggestions, they're greatly appreciated.

Now, the dreaded SECOND CHAPTER that the men in cheesy black and shades wish to hell has never happened. TAL and Sesshomaru have joined forces with Duo and Trowa from Gundam Wing on the hunt for more disclaimers, and the journey to keep safe the ones she already has!

"Why in Kami's name am I still here?" Sesshomaru muttered, as he carried TAL on his cloud of red ki. For some inexplicable reason, Trowa and Duo had ditched their Gundams, and were riding on the cloud of ki as well.

"Admit it, Sesshomaru – you're jealous!" TAL gloated.

"I. Am. NOT," he growled. "I just fail to see the purpose in their existence, that's all."

"HEY!" Duo glared at the dog demon. "We've spawned countless fanfiction, ten DVDs, and a movie! Not to mention loads of fangirl crap."

"And the ridiculous and shameless promotion of our products," Trowa muttered, shooting a glance at TAL, who shrugged helplessly.

"So?" Sesshomaru challenged, "They are in the process of making our third movie, as well as hundreds of merchandise and WELL over ten measly DVDs."

"Uh…calm down!" TAL took that moment to interrupt the two, and looked at Duo apologetically. "Sorry, Duo. I love ya, but you're causing way more trouble than I thought. See ya in my fanfic, though!" And with a wink, Dou had vanished.

Trowa eyed the suddenly-empty space uneasily.

"Where are we headed to now, human?" Sesshomaru asked, using impatience to hide his glee that a potential rival had been so easily disposed of…

Seeing that last part, Sesshomaru then whaled on the author until she supposedly "re-wrote" it, meaning I just added this part in here to get more sympathy!

"Um…where are we going?" Man3 asked the other two men in cheesy black suits and shades as they drove down a highway.

"I have no idea!" Man1 yelled.

"Why not?" Man2 demanded.

"Because this authoress is a complete – !" Here Man1's vocal cords were mysteriously silenced, since I'm TRYING TO KEEP THE RATING DOWN, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

"You were saying?" Man2 asked, rolling his eyes.

"I was SAYING that the AUTHORESS is toying with us!" Man1 shouted, "She intends to use us merely as humorous, bumbling idiots for some cheap laughs!"

A god-like voice suddenly echoed around the three men in cheesy black suits and shades.

"SAY THAT AGAIN AND YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

"Sheesh, sheesh, all right already…I get the point!" Man1 continued to yell as the authoress continued to use him as a humorous, bumbling idiot for some cheap laughs.

"I don't think you should really talk anymore," Man3 whispered, with Man2 nodding energetically next to him.

"I think we'll head over to the building where the Fullmetal Alchemist disclaimer is kept," Man1 decided, "I'm sure she'll strike there next. And we'll be ready!"

Several days later…

"WHERE IS SHE?" Man1 screamed, as the three men in cheesy black suits and shades sat out on a hot sunny roof waiting for TAL and the others to show up.

"I guess she's taking a break…maybe?" Man2 suggested. Reading the plot overview he suddenly had, he nodded and grinned widely. "Yup, says so right here. She went to the Bahamas with Sesshomaru and Trowa for a while to relax. I think we're going to have to carry on this chapter by ourselves."

"Or we could just end the damn thing and be rid of this eternal hell that is called fanfiction!" Man1 howled, earning rolled eyes from his companions.

"Hey, maybe we can get people to see OUR side of the story!" Man2 suddenly thought. "And then maybe they'll flame her for mocking us – and then she'll stop the story!"

As the authoress reads this last desperate plea for help, she laughs and says, "Yeah, right. Sure. Whatever."

Oh.

Continue…

"Why do we have to wear these!" Man1 demanded angrily. Just for the record, Man1 seems to have a lot of pent-up rage issues, doesn't he?

"Cut that out!" he yelled again, reading the last sentence, "And I do NOT!"

"We have to wear these so we look pathetic enough to catch the reader's sympathy!" Man2 explained patiently. The three men in cheesy black suits and shades were no longer. Instead, there were three men dressed as orphans, making Bambi® eyes for all they were worth.

"My eyes…hurt!" Man3 whined. Man2 sighed, and then shrugged.

"Oh well. Mine do too. We can drop 'em, I guess. Okay, next we…have to explain our point of view to the readers," he thought, and whipped out a blackboard. As he began explaining complicated math formulas that not even Einstein himself would understand, much less the authoress who totally sucked in Algebra, Man1 and Man3 shook their heads in disbelief.

"I'll try!" Man1 grinned, and pulled out a bazooka. Aiming at the readers – if there are any – he waved it at them. "You better agree with us, or I'll…!"

"Cut that out!" Man3 protested, "Let me have a go at it!" Putting on another pathetic face, he turned toward the readers, and put as much quivering heartache and sappiness as he possible could into his voice.

"I'm gonna be sick," Man1 muttered, "I like my bazooka better…"

"Please, readers, think no ill of us!" Man3 began dramatically, pressing the back of his hand against his forehead. "For we are merely creations of this authoress, bound by destiny and her pen and will! Our duty is to protect disclaimers from falling into the mostly-evil and tainted hands of fanfiction writers, and to keep canon true and safe!"

"Um, you can get up off the floor," Man2 whispered. Crawling back to his knees, instead of laying on his stomach in supplication, Man3 continued.

"So please, readers, do not wish us ill will or harm! For we are merely doing our best to fulfill our purpose in life, no matter what the odds! Even when chapters have no plots, like this one!"

"But isn't having complete nonsense a plot, though?" Man1 interrupted. The other two, now dressed again in their cheesy black suits and shades, paused in thought.

The same god-like voice echoed around the three men in cheesy black suits and shades impatiently.

"PURPOSEFULLY HAVING NO PLOT AND JUST NONSENSE IS NOT A PLOT, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! IT MEANS IT – HAS. NO. PLOT!"

"Ow," Man3 rubbed his ears, which were still tingling from the effects of the shouting. Unlike his mouth, which was still tingling from the effects of the refreshing taste of Listerine® mouthwash.

"Product placement is NOT going to get you sponsors, and it's NOT going to help you get those disclaimers any faster," Man2 pointed out to the authoress, who promptly went –

DAMN!

"I told you so," Man1 shook his head, as Man2 was promptly SPLATTED on the ground. "She's scary. Don't make her mad."

"You make her mad plenty, and she hasn't SPLATTED you yet," Man3 pointed out, as Man2 peeled himself up off the pavement.

"That's because I don't tell her that she wastes all that disclaiming space in the beginning of each crappy chapter, and in the story, for no reason at all," Man1 said smugly. After which he was promptly SPLATTED as well.

"How does she do that?" Man3 wondered, now watching TWO of his companions peel themselves up off the pavement, and praying that the authoress didn't do the same to him.

A god-like voice echoed a – "We get it!" Man1 interrupted. "Just yell at us already!"

"I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT I USE A HEAVY-DUTY FLY SWATTER – which my mom so long ago accidentally called the "killer-thing" and has never heard the last of it – TO SPLATTED THEM."

"Oh," Man3 squeaked, as he too was SPLATTED.

"No long the golden-man in cheesy black suit and shades, are you?" Man2 and Man1 smirked, as Man3 found himself UNABLE to peel himself up off the pavement, and instead began to melt.

"Ew, gross!" Man1 groaned, "He's gonna go back to normal, right?"

A god-like voice echoed around the three men in cheesy black suits and shades.

"IF I FEEL LIKE IT BEFORE I STOP TYPING AND GO TO BED."

"Uh-oh," Man2 quickly checked his watch, "It's already past two in the morning, and she's already repeated her Inuyasha soundtrack four times already. We're doo –

At this the authoress decided to go to bed.

"Just kidding! Geez! I'll finish, I'll finish!" the authoress yells, and runs away from the three men in cheesy black suits and shades. "But I can't finish if you kill me!"

There, they stopped! Yeesh, touché.

" – med," Man2 finished, and cast a dirty look – as well as a gesture – towards the authoress.

"You do realize that she only kept writing because she's all hyped up about seeing the new Inuyasha episode, don't you?" Man3 asked. Man1 quickly grabbed the plot overview from Man2, and cheered.

"Yeah! After I finish this sentence, this god-forsaken chapter is over! Another piece of my soul can return to me, and help me escape this hellish nightmare!"