(A/N- Diane, Cassie - this one's for you.)
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Sirius: *bouncing up and down* Can I turn into a dog in this chapter? Please please please?
HealerAriel: ...We'll see.
Sirius: Come ON! I wanna! *puppy face, followed by more bouncing*
HealerAriel: *suspicious glare at James and Remus* Did you guys let him have pocky again?
James and Remus: ^_^;
HealerAriel: -_-
Sirius: ^__________^ Pockypockypockypockypocky! *does cartwheels* Wheeee!
James: *cracks Sirius upside the head with HealerAriel's lava lamp* That better, Healer?
HealerAriel: *prods unconcious Sirius* Yup, thanks Jimmy. Just for that, you get to be the first narrator in this chapter.
James: Heehee! ^_^
(A/N- Guess who's in this chapter? Andromeda Black! Why? Because I like her, that's why. And since she's never seen in the books - only mentioned by name - I can give her whatever personality I want to! Oh, and I made up a name for Sirius's mom, because they don't give her one in the OoTP other than "Mrs. Black". Artistic license!
Oh, and if you read this, Andy, I'm borrowing your name. ^_^ You're a good man, I figured you wouldn't mind)
(A/N again- this chapter is RATED R. It's not graphic, but I wanna be safe. Thank you) .
*Narrated by James, because HealerAriel (almost) ALWAYS keeps her word*
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Needless to say, I was having a damn good time watching Sirius and Kitty engage in their little battle. Lily thinks it's awful that I can extract amusement from such a thing, but I guess girls just don't understand how much fun it is to see one's best friend get smacked across the face. Honestly, I'm beginning to think Sirius LIKES being slapped: he certainly goes out of his way to incur the Wrath of Kitty. Oh well, to each his own, I'm no one to criticize Sirius's unhealthy fetishes.
Either way, the show was getting pretty good, so Wormtail and I decided to sit back with some freshly conjured popcorn and watch the action. Lily gave us scornful glares. I shrugged and stuffed a mouthful of the buttery snack food into my mouth.
"FUCK YOU, BLACK!" Kitty roared.
"Oh, yes please," Sirius replied instantly, giving her a suggestive wink. *SMACK!* Ah, the first slap of the evening! Peter and I started snickering, and stuffed more popcorn into our mouths to muffle the sound, lest Kitty turn on us. Hey, she slaps HARD! It's the vampiric strength, I tell you, no other girl slaps that hard.
"I'm not sure I deserved that," Sirius said, gently touching the bright red handprint on his cheek.
"No," Kitty informed, her blood-red lips curled into a fang-bearing snarl, "You didn't deserve that. You deserve to be FLAYED!" A collective wince went around the room. Sirius gave her his patented seductive pout (he owns a whole line of seductive looks, all of which have proven to work quite well on just about any chick in the school. Wish I could pull that off...damn him).
"Aww, how 'bout just some good, old-fashioned BDS&M?" *SMACK!* Now the OTHER cheek had a handprint. Kitty was on a roll, two slaps in less than two minutes!
"Hmph!" Kitty turned on her heel, dark brown curls effectively whipping Sirius across the face, and stormed up to the girls' dormitory. Sirius watched her go. Lily gave an exasperated sigh.
"WHY do you go out of your way to make her angry, Sirius?" she demanded in a particularly 'mother' way.
"She's hot when she's pissed..." he replied, licking his lips. Lily rolled her eyes.
"I'll never understand men."
"Well, Sirius isn't technically a MAN," I informed helpfully, knowing full well that Sirius was too sexually charged at the moment to realize that I was questioning his gender, and therefore sock me in the gut in retalliation. Peter giggled. In the MANLY way that we Marauders do, of course. ...Oh hell, who am I kidding? SO GUYS GIGGLE, TOO, OKAY?! We just hate to admit it. No matter: I, James Potter, am secure enough in my masculinity to confess that I do giggle on occasion. But, er, JUST on occasion. Ahem! Anyway...
"Does that...happen a lot?" Klutz asked from across the room, curled up in her chair like a frightened kitten.
"Yes," everyone in the room (except Sirius, who was still in a lustful trance) responded in unison.
"Ah," she said, nodding.
"Excuse me, folks," Sirius said, having finally rejoined the world of the mentally living, and making his way toward the same stairway Kitty had gone up. "I'll be back in while. Wouldn't advise any of you come up and check on me..."
"God, I hope they'll shut up a bit this time," Andromeda Black grumbled as Sirius sprinted up the stairs. "It's utterly disturbing to hear my baby cousin getting laid..."
"No doubt," Lily agreed, patting Andromeda's shoulder sympathetically.
"I SHOULD threaten to write to his mother," Andromeda informed, shaking her blonde head. "I really should."
"Why don't you?" Lily asked.
"Because the woman's an abomination, and I've no doubt SHE WOULD try to flay him," Andromeda explained. "Aunt Hera can be quite the-"
"Bitch?" I offered. Andromeda pondered that for a moment, then nodded in agreement.
"Hey, look what I found," Peter said, holding up his discovery. "I think it's-" I snatched the object out of his hand.
"It's that little two-way mirror he made last month!" I crowed happily. Sirius had never let us touch the thing - said it was a show of his magical prowess and that gits like us would only break it. The fact that we probably WOULD have was entirely beside the point. "Spiffy!"
"You nabbed the two-way mirror?" Remus asked with utter interest. Go figure, his friend's various magical grooming items are more intriguing to a werewolf than staring blankly at the moon. Not that I could blame him, I'd wanted to get my hands on this baby since I'd heard it existed.
"Hell yes!" I hissed.
"So...how d'you reckon it works?" Peter asked. I shrugged, and thrust the mirror into Remus's hands.
"Here, you're the clever one in this outfit - YOU figure out how to work this thing." Remus looked pensive for a moment.
"Well, I've read about the concept. Whoever has a corresponding mirror, you say their name into it, and it'll activate theirs. And, considering this is Padfoot we're talking about-"
"Gryffindor girls' dormitory!" I said into the mirror gleefully. And of course, since I'm a genius, the mirror got all wavy, before showing the fifth year girls' dormitory. Lily let out a cry of indignation.
"THAT PERVERT, HOW DARE HE?!" she screeched. "THAT IS A NAKED PLACE!"
"Speaking of," I chuckled, pointing out to my fellow Marauders what the mirror was currently depicting. We were suddenly surrounded by everyone currently in the Common Room. Turns out, Kitty's bed is very easy to see from the mirror in the girls' dorm.
"Yeah!" a seventh year by the name of Andrew Thompson yelled, staring intently into the mirror.
"Ladies and gentlemen," I announced, taking the role of commentator, "she's hot, she's sexy, and she's gonna get NAKED!"
"HONESTLY!" Lily scolded, lunging for the mirror that I skillfully kept out of her reach. "You people are completely- Wow. Sirius is...truly blessed... Hey, gimme that mirror a minute."
"NO!" I snapped irritably.
***
*Narrated by Kitty*
Sure, Sirius Black is an asshole, but I must admit, he IS amazing in bed. The fact that I was so carried away with his every lovely action at the moment was probably why he realized before I did,
"D'you hear that?"
"Hear what?" I panted, dissapointed that he'd paused.
"Lots of yelling in the Common Room...Oh God," he groaned, giving the full-length mirror near my bed a hateful glare.
"What?"
"One moment," he said, kissing my throat before climbing out of bed to give the mirror a very rude hand gesture and cover it with a quilt. He was right - as soon as he did that, there was a chorus of unhappy masculine yells from downstairs. He smirked, and rejoined me. "Sorry to keep you waiting, milady."
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(A/N- And sorry to keep YOU waiting! I just finally got inspiration for this fic! All my others are still at a standstill! T_T Writer's block sucks!)
.
Sirius: *bouncing up and down* Can I turn into a dog in this chapter? Please please please?
HealerAriel: ...We'll see.
Sirius: Come ON! I wanna! *puppy face, followed by more bouncing*
HealerAriel: *suspicious glare at James and Remus* Did you guys let him have pocky again?
James and Remus: ^_^;
HealerAriel: -_-
Sirius: ^__________^ Pockypockypockypockypocky! *does cartwheels* Wheeee!
James: *cracks Sirius upside the head with HealerAriel's lava lamp* That better, Healer?
HealerAriel: *prods unconcious Sirius* Yup, thanks Jimmy. Just for that, you get to be the first narrator in this chapter.
James: Heehee! ^_^
(A/N- Guess who's in this chapter? Andromeda Black! Why? Because I like her, that's why. And since she's never seen in the books - only mentioned by name - I can give her whatever personality I want to! Oh, and I made up a name for Sirius's mom, because they don't give her one in the OoTP other than "Mrs. Black". Artistic license!
Oh, and if you read this, Andy, I'm borrowing your name. ^_^ You're a good man, I figured you wouldn't mind)
(A/N again- this chapter is RATED R. It's not graphic, but I wanna be safe. Thank you) .
*Narrated by James, because HealerAriel (almost) ALWAYS keeps her word*
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Needless to say, I was having a damn good time watching Sirius and Kitty engage in their little battle. Lily thinks it's awful that I can extract amusement from such a thing, but I guess girls just don't understand how much fun it is to see one's best friend get smacked across the face. Honestly, I'm beginning to think Sirius LIKES being slapped: he certainly goes out of his way to incur the Wrath of Kitty. Oh well, to each his own, I'm no one to criticize Sirius's unhealthy fetishes.
Either way, the show was getting pretty good, so Wormtail and I decided to sit back with some freshly conjured popcorn and watch the action. Lily gave us scornful glares. I shrugged and stuffed a mouthful of the buttery snack food into my mouth.
"FUCK YOU, BLACK!" Kitty roared.
"Oh, yes please," Sirius replied instantly, giving her a suggestive wink. *SMACK!* Ah, the first slap of the evening! Peter and I started snickering, and stuffed more popcorn into our mouths to muffle the sound, lest Kitty turn on us. Hey, she slaps HARD! It's the vampiric strength, I tell you, no other girl slaps that hard.
"I'm not sure I deserved that," Sirius said, gently touching the bright red handprint on his cheek.
"No," Kitty informed, her blood-red lips curled into a fang-bearing snarl, "You didn't deserve that. You deserve to be FLAYED!" A collective wince went around the room. Sirius gave her his patented seductive pout (he owns a whole line of seductive looks, all of which have proven to work quite well on just about any chick in the school. Wish I could pull that off...damn him).
"Aww, how 'bout just some good, old-fashioned BDS&M?" *SMACK!* Now the OTHER cheek had a handprint. Kitty was on a roll, two slaps in less than two minutes!
"Hmph!" Kitty turned on her heel, dark brown curls effectively whipping Sirius across the face, and stormed up to the girls' dormitory. Sirius watched her go. Lily gave an exasperated sigh.
"WHY do you go out of your way to make her angry, Sirius?" she demanded in a particularly 'mother' way.
"She's hot when she's pissed..." he replied, licking his lips. Lily rolled her eyes.
"I'll never understand men."
"Well, Sirius isn't technically a MAN," I informed helpfully, knowing full well that Sirius was too sexually charged at the moment to realize that I was questioning his gender, and therefore sock me in the gut in retalliation. Peter giggled. In the MANLY way that we Marauders do, of course. ...Oh hell, who am I kidding? SO GUYS GIGGLE, TOO, OKAY?! We just hate to admit it. No matter: I, James Potter, am secure enough in my masculinity to confess that I do giggle on occasion. But, er, JUST on occasion. Ahem! Anyway...
"Does that...happen a lot?" Klutz asked from across the room, curled up in her chair like a frightened kitten.
"Yes," everyone in the room (except Sirius, who was still in a lustful trance) responded in unison.
"Ah," she said, nodding.
"Excuse me, folks," Sirius said, having finally rejoined the world of the mentally living, and making his way toward the same stairway Kitty had gone up. "I'll be back in while. Wouldn't advise any of you come up and check on me..."
"God, I hope they'll shut up a bit this time," Andromeda Black grumbled as Sirius sprinted up the stairs. "It's utterly disturbing to hear my baby cousin getting laid..."
"No doubt," Lily agreed, patting Andromeda's shoulder sympathetically.
"I SHOULD threaten to write to his mother," Andromeda informed, shaking her blonde head. "I really should."
"Why don't you?" Lily asked.
"Because the woman's an abomination, and I've no doubt SHE WOULD try to flay him," Andromeda explained. "Aunt Hera can be quite the-"
"Bitch?" I offered. Andromeda pondered that for a moment, then nodded in agreement.
"Hey, look what I found," Peter said, holding up his discovery. "I think it's-" I snatched the object out of his hand.
"It's that little two-way mirror he made last month!" I crowed happily. Sirius had never let us touch the thing - said it was a show of his magical prowess and that gits like us would only break it. The fact that we probably WOULD have was entirely beside the point. "Spiffy!"
"You nabbed the two-way mirror?" Remus asked with utter interest. Go figure, his friend's various magical grooming items are more intriguing to a werewolf than staring blankly at the moon. Not that I could blame him, I'd wanted to get my hands on this baby since I'd heard it existed.
"Hell yes!" I hissed.
"So...how d'you reckon it works?" Peter asked. I shrugged, and thrust the mirror into Remus's hands.
"Here, you're the clever one in this outfit - YOU figure out how to work this thing." Remus looked pensive for a moment.
"Well, I've read about the concept. Whoever has a corresponding mirror, you say their name into it, and it'll activate theirs. And, considering this is Padfoot we're talking about-"
"Gryffindor girls' dormitory!" I said into the mirror gleefully. And of course, since I'm a genius, the mirror got all wavy, before showing the fifth year girls' dormitory. Lily let out a cry of indignation.
"THAT PERVERT, HOW DARE HE?!" she screeched. "THAT IS A NAKED PLACE!"
"Speaking of," I chuckled, pointing out to my fellow Marauders what the mirror was currently depicting. We were suddenly surrounded by everyone currently in the Common Room. Turns out, Kitty's bed is very easy to see from the mirror in the girls' dorm.
"Yeah!" a seventh year by the name of Andrew Thompson yelled, staring intently into the mirror.
"Ladies and gentlemen," I announced, taking the role of commentator, "she's hot, she's sexy, and she's gonna get NAKED!"
"HONESTLY!" Lily scolded, lunging for the mirror that I skillfully kept out of her reach. "You people are completely- Wow. Sirius is...truly blessed... Hey, gimme that mirror a minute."
"NO!" I snapped irritably.
***
*Narrated by Kitty*
Sure, Sirius Black is an asshole, but I must admit, he IS amazing in bed. The fact that I was so carried away with his every lovely action at the moment was probably why he realized before I did,
"D'you hear that?"
"Hear what?" I panted, dissapointed that he'd paused.
"Lots of yelling in the Common Room...Oh God," he groaned, giving the full-length mirror near my bed a hateful glare.
"What?"
"One moment," he said, kissing my throat before climbing out of bed to give the mirror a very rude hand gesture and cover it with a quilt. He was right - as soon as he did that, there was a chorus of unhappy masculine yells from downstairs. He smirked, and rejoined me. "Sorry to keep you waiting, milady."
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(A/N- And sorry to keep YOU waiting! I just finally got inspiration for this fic! All my others are still at a standstill! T_T Writer's block sucks!)