Narrated by Moony
It was nearly midnight, the Common Room was almost empty, and Sirius had been gone for three hours. Despite ourselves, James and I had started to worry (Peter had long since fallen asleep on the couch).
"D'you know what the fight was about?" I asked him, rubbing my eyes. He shook his head.
"Nah. Just heard her yell some things at him."
"Shall we go fetch him?" I suggested, tired of waiting up for Sirius, and feeling a bit too much like his father for doing so. We both knew quite well that he'd be in the kitchen, more than likely surrounded by worried house elves while he downed mass quantities of alcohol. Much as they'd hate to admit it, he and Kitty were an awful lot alike in that respect.
"Lemme grab the Invisibility Cloak," James yawned, darting up to our dormitory and returning a moment later with the silvery cloak.
A short, uneventful walk later, we entered the kitchen. And there, of course, was Sirius, sitting at a table surrounded by empty liquor bottles, and slurring the lyrics to "A Pirate's Life For Me".
"'Lo, there, Padfoot," James said gently. Sirius picked up his head and gazed at both of us with unfocused eyes. His mouth was hanging wide open, but he didn't seem to notice.
"Whazzup?" he mumbled, groping for the nearest half-empty bottle. I did a quick count of how many bottles he'd already drunk, and came up with five. Not a good sign: Sirius had a very low tolerance to alcohol to begin with.
"It's time to go back to the House, Sirius," I informed, knowing already that this was not going to be an easy task, as it wasn't the first time James and I had needed to escort a piss-drunk Sirius Black back to the dorms without being caught.
"Ish not time ta go yet," he said, taking a big gulp of his firewhiskey.
"Yes it is, Sirius," James said a bit more authoritatively. Sirius shook his head, then winced as if the motion had given him a headache.
"Uh uh, Jimmyhead," he replied, grinning inanely. "Ish not. Shiddown, have a drink."
"No thank you, we're fine," I told him, but James and I sat down regardless.
"Ish not a good night fer me," Sirius slurred. "Kitty got all pissed off abou' somethin'. She called me a lecher. She said I didn' care 'bout her, and tha's not true."
James and I exchanged a glance. So THAT's what it had been about. Sirius continued in a mumbled rant, only half of what he said being remotely coherent.
"See, they say we're inshenshitive," he finished, "but they dunno anyting 'bout wha' we feel. Girls dunno..." He stopped talking then, looking as though he was ready to either cry or throw up. Knowing Sirius, he'd wind up doing both during the course of the night. As for what he would do right now...
Sirius at least had the forethought to stagger to the nearest trash can before proceeding to empty his stomach. I clasped a hand over my own mouth; God, did it sound disgusting! James gave me a crooked smile.
"He's a real charmer, our Padfoot," he stated. I had to admit, it was kind of uncharacteristic to see the Hogwarts Love Machine - and one of the richest pureblood wizards around - puking his guts up in a very undignified fashion. And all over one girl. Fancy that.
Maybe in his own special way, Sirius was growing up after all.
.
.
Narrated by Prongs
To say that it took some effort to get Sirius back to the dorm would be a ferocious understatement. Remus and I more or less carried him, because he was too drunk to walk properly. And then after that, we had to stay up and babysit him in the bathroom for a while because we were afraid that if we allowed him to go to sleep he'd choke on his own vomit.
If that ain't friendship...
"You should really stop doing this, Sirius," I suggested around one- fifty in the morning, leaning my head against the cool wall with my eyes closed. All I got in reply was the sound of him throwing up in the toilet.
"I wan' go to bed," Remus yawned pitifully. "This is all your fault, Sirius."
"Shaddup, Moony," Sirius answered shakily, his head still in the toilet bowl from the sound of it. I snickered. If I had the heart - or the energy - to take a picture of this, I'd have blackmail material for the rest of my life.
"Just so you know it, Padfoot," I said, "this isn't exactly your finest moment."
"No shit, Sherlock," he grumbled, before wretching again. He was sober enough to be a wiseass, that was always a good sign with Sirius.
Moony let out a particularly huge, doglike yawn.
"Ah, go to bed, Wolfman, I'll take care of him," I assured, opening my eyes. "You need your energy to transform tonight."
"Oh joy," he grumbled, but shuffled gratefully out of the room, followed closely by a loud creaking of bedsprings which seemed to entail that he'd simply fallen on his bed as soon as he got there. Couldn't really blame him.
"This really sucks," Sirius said weakly.
"It's your own fault, you realize," I responded helpfully. "You and booze don't mix, Si."
Sirius grunted something under his breath, stood up, and flushed the toilet as an afterthought. I watched in amusement as he filled the sink with cold water and dunked his head in it. A sopping wet Padfoot was almost as funny as a recently-smacked Padfoot. Almost.
"Are we feeling better?" I inquired. He flipped me off. Yep, he was feeling better.
By the time I'd gotten undressed and into bed, Peter was snoring (apparently he'd woken up and gotten himself upstairs while we were gone), and Remus was talking in his sleep.
"The goat took my chocolate," I heard him mumble. Remus's nightly conversations with himself usually involved candy of some sort, so this wasn't a surprise. I swear, that guy ate more chocolate in a month than I went through in a year! And STILL he was bony! Remus Lupin's metabolism was one of the great mysteries of life...
(A/N- Short it may be, but it's quick and hopefully amusing.)
It was nearly midnight, the Common Room was almost empty, and Sirius had been gone for three hours. Despite ourselves, James and I had started to worry (Peter had long since fallen asleep on the couch).
"D'you know what the fight was about?" I asked him, rubbing my eyes. He shook his head.
"Nah. Just heard her yell some things at him."
"Shall we go fetch him?" I suggested, tired of waiting up for Sirius, and feeling a bit too much like his father for doing so. We both knew quite well that he'd be in the kitchen, more than likely surrounded by worried house elves while he downed mass quantities of alcohol. Much as they'd hate to admit it, he and Kitty were an awful lot alike in that respect.
"Lemme grab the Invisibility Cloak," James yawned, darting up to our dormitory and returning a moment later with the silvery cloak.
A short, uneventful walk later, we entered the kitchen. And there, of course, was Sirius, sitting at a table surrounded by empty liquor bottles, and slurring the lyrics to "A Pirate's Life For Me".
"'Lo, there, Padfoot," James said gently. Sirius picked up his head and gazed at both of us with unfocused eyes. His mouth was hanging wide open, but he didn't seem to notice.
"Whazzup?" he mumbled, groping for the nearest half-empty bottle. I did a quick count of how many bottles he'd already drunk, and came up with five. Not a good sign: Sirius had a very low tolerance to alcohol to begin with.
"It's time to go back to the House, Sirius," I informed, knowing already that this was not going to be an easy task, as it wasn't the first time James and I had needed to escort a piss-drunk Sirius Black back to the dorms without being caught.
"Ish not time ta go yet," he said, taking a big gulp of his firewhiskey.
"Yes it is, Sirius," James said a bit more authoritatively. Sirius shook his head, then winced as if the motion had given him a headache.
"Uh uh, Jimmyhead," he replied, grinning inanely. "Ish not. Shiddown, have a drink."
"No thank you, we're fine," I told him, but James and I sat down regardless.
"Ish not a good night fer me," Sirius slurred. "Kitty got all pissed off abou' somethin'. She called me a lecher. She said I didn' care 'bout her, and tha's not true."
James and I exchanged a glance. So THAT's what it had been about. Sirius continued in a mumbled rant, only half of what he said being remotely coherent.
"See, they say we're inshenshitive," he finished, "but they dunno anyting 'bout wha' we feel. Girls dunno..." He stopped talking then, looking as though he was ready to either cry or throw up. Knowing Sirius, he'd wind up doing both during the course of the night. As for what he would do right now...
Sirius at least had the forethought to stagger to the nearest trash can before proceeding to empty his stomach. I clasped a hand over my own mouth; God, did it sound disgusting! James gave me a crooked smile.
"He's a real charmer, our Padfoot," he stated. I had to admit, it was kind of uncharacteristic to see the Hogwarts Love Machine - and one of the richest pureblood wizards around - puking his guts up in a very undignified fashion. And all over one girl. Fancy that.
Maybe in his own special way, Sirius was growing up after all.
.
.
Narrated by Prongs
To say that it took some effort to get Sirius back to the dorm would be a ferocious understatement. Remus and I more or less carried him, because he was too drunk to walk properly. And then after that, we had to stay up and babysit him in the bathroom for a while because we were afraid that if we allowed him to go to sleep he'd choke on his own vomit.
If that ain't friendship...
"You should really stop doing this, Sirius," I suggested around one- fifty in the morning, leaning my head against the cool wall with my eyes closed. All I got in reply was the sound of him throwing up in the toilet.
"I wan' go to bed," Remus yawned pitifully. "This is all your fault, Sirius."
"Shaddup, Moony," Sirius answered shakily, his head still in the toilet bowl from the sound of it. I snickered. If I had the heart - or the energy - to take a picture of this, I'd have blackmail material for the rest of my life.
"Just so you know it, Padfoot," I said, "this isn't exactly your finest moment."
"No shit, Sherlock," he grumbled, before wretching again. He was sober enough to be a wiseass, that was always a good sign with Sirius.
Moony let out a particularly huge, doglike yawn.
"Ah, go to bed, Wolfman, I'll take care of him," I assured, opening my eyes. "You need your energy to transform tonight."
"Oh joy," he grumbled, but shuffled gratefully out of the room, followed closely by a loud creaking of bedsprings which seemed to entail that he'd simply fallen on his bed as soon as he got there. Couldn't really blame him.
"This really sucks," Sirius said weakly.
"It's your own fault, you realize," I responded helpfully. "You and booze don't mix, Si."
Sirius grunted something under his breath, stood up, and flushed the toilet as an afterthought. I watched in amusement as he filled the sink with cold water and dunked his head in it. A sopping wet Padfoot was almost as funny as a recently-smacked Padfoot. Almost.
"Are we feeling better?" I inquired. He flipped me off. Yep, he was feeling better.
By the time I'd gotten undressed and into bed, Peter was snoring (apparently he'd woken up and gotten himself upstairs while we were gone), and Remus was talking in his sleep.
"The goat took my chocolate," I heard him mumble. Remus's nightly conversations with himself usually involved candy of some sort, so this wasn't a surprise. I swear, that guy ate more chocolate in a month than I went through in a year! And STILL he was bony! Remus Lupin's metabolism was one of the great mysteries of life...
(A/N- Short it may be, but it's quick and hopefully amusing.)