Everyone who reviewed- I freakin' love you guys! I'll try and update best I can, I've been super busy lately.

Disclaimer: Just so you know, I don't own Bridget Jones. Camille, Grace, Pamela, Will, and Alex are completely false and made-up by ME.

Friday, January 15

Home 11:55 PM

I am going to KILL Alex, if I don't kill Tony FIRST! No words can describe what has happened...

So I'll write a script for it! Mwah ha ha...

(Monday, Cami is at lunch and Alex comes and sits down across from her.)

Cami: What do you want?

Alex: I was hoping you could do me a favor.

Cami: (stops eating turkey sandwich) What is it?

Alex: My friend Tony doesn't have a date to winter formal, so I was wondering...

Cami: (sighs, not knowing what she's getting into) Sure, I guess.

Alex: (grins) Awesome. We'll pick you up at seven. (He leaves.)

(Friday rolls around and Cami is wearing the same dress she wore to the New Year's Eve party, except Mum took her to the hairdresser earlier and she says she looks like a poodle.)

Cami: I look like a poodle.

Pamela and Mum: You look fine.

Dad: You know Cam, you don't have to go if you don't want do.

Cami: For once, I actually agree with you there.

Mum: No! That would be rude!

Dad and Cami: Damn it.

Dad: (hands her a cell phone) If he does anything, you call me and I'll get the Mafia on his ass before he can make an offer that they can't refuse.

(He watches The Godfather a lot.)

(Seven rolls around and everyone arrives. TONY IS ABOUT THE GEEKIEST WANKER THIS SIDE OF THE HEMISPHERE. At least he got her a nice corsage, which is now taking shelter in her garbage can.)

Tony: (stutters in a nasal voice) H-hey Camille. (His face is covered in acne. His black hair is slicked back and is so shiny that you need sunglasses to look at it. He's wearing a white tuxedo and a black button-up shirt and he has a pink flower pinned on his jacket. His pants are a little too small and you can see his high black socks.)

Cami: It's 'Cami.'

Mum: Shush! Now, smile! (takes photos)

(They go back to Alex's car and suddenly, Tony turns from nice guy to McPervert. His hand is on her leg and slowly working its way up to THAT area. She glares deadly at him.)

Cami: (in the scariest tone she can muster up) You even think about getting to third base, let alone first, I'll knock your teeth in. (Hand goes bye-bye.)

(But they get there and Will sees her.)

Will: (chuckling) Well, Darcy, it's sweet that you're working for the Charity Case.

Cami: (excuses herself from Tony and drags Will over by the pop machines) Look. I'm only with him because Alex asked me to be Tony's date.

Will: Well, you could have said you were going with me!

Cami: Yeah, and I would have been lying to one of my friends. I don't lie.

Will: (gives her a weird look that just says "You're one of the strangest girls I've met.") Well, I can respect that. You're a loyal girl.

Cami: Damn straight.

Will: By the way, you owe me one dance, all right?

Cami: (groans) Fine. (goes back to her little group)

Alex: I'll get some punch.

Tony: I'll go with you!

Cami: (under breath) Stay there, please please please.

(Fast forward to the first slow dance. Cami is standing as far away from Tony as she can be with her hands still on his shoulders. Cami is watching Will dance with a much prettier girl. The perverted side of Tony comes out again and his hand goes down the top of her strapless dress.)

Cami: (screams) YOU PERV! (slaps Tony across the face and runs out of the gym. Will follows Cami outside. She is sitting on a bench by the pop machines, stomping her corsage into the ground.)

Will: (tries to calm her down) Cami–

Cami: I am SO embarrassed!

Will: Well, it could be worse.

Cami: How?

Will: (laughs) You could have liked it.

(Cami gasps and punches Will's arm. They continue laughing. Suddenly, Will gets this look in his eyes.)

Cami: What? Do I have something on my face?

Will: Actually, there is. Right on your mouth. (Kisses her)

(What I didn't know until Grace told me later: Alex comes out just as Will leans in and kisses her. Ewan McGreggor comes in and sings "Le Tango De Roxanne" and poor Alex goes back to Gracie.)

That was my night.

END