Dream a Little Dream
By Siren
Hey guys! I'm glad you liked my last chapter! Oi, finals are tomorrow (if school isn't cancelled again). I hate finals! HATE THEM WITH A PASSION! Okay, done with the ranting now. This is going to be another dark chapter. For some reason I'm in a dark mood.
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Everyone's asleep.
I should be too, but I can't.
I stand in the entry-way to my bedroom where Avarier is sleeping fitfully in my bed. I still don't understand why he behaved the way he did. I just wish he would talk to me. And if he can't talk to me, than I really wish he would just…I don't know. I just miss him. Strange isn't it? How can you miss someone when they're barely a few feet away from you? 'Because you can't reach him,' my inner voice answers. I can reach him. I've been able to reach him since the day I met him. Gathering up my determination and courage, I walk over to the bed and sit down next to his twitching form. His body is covered in a sheen of sweat, his eyes clamped shut tightly. I reach out a tentative hand and gently brush the hair away from his eyes. Courage and determination quickly give way to love and devotion, and my face softens as I comfort the man I love.
"You're safe, Avarier," I whisper, unconsciously moving closer to him. "You're safe and you're with me." I watch as he relaxes a little and nuzzles my hand. I try to think of what to do to being him peace as I stroke his hair. "We're back in Gondor at your mother's house. She's safe and so are you. You'll always be safe with me." His breathing becomes less harsh and I feel his muscles relax under his skin. "Si…" I smile softly and stroke his cheek. "Shh…it's okay. Everything is fine. Everything is perfectly fine. I'm here, and I love you, and you're safe." He finally relaxes completely, and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding.
I stroke his cheek for another few minutes, than move to leave. I stop moving when his hand grabs my wrist. I look down to see his eyes half-open and clouded with sleep. "Don't leave me," he whispers. I should leave. He's still asleep and doesn't know what he's saying. He asked me not to stay with him before he went to bed and I should respect that. "Please," he pleads. Oh hell, I can't deny him. I comply and slide under the covers, only to be pulled to him and wrapped in his warm embrace. I wrap my arms around him and rest my head on his chest. "Sleep," I whisper, feeling my own eyes becoming heavy with fatigue. I listen to him snore lightly and bite back a giggle. Feeling my own body relax and become heavy, I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
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(Avarier's POV)
I'm watching with growing jealousy as Siren and Legolas walk together. The elf takes her hand and slowly laces his fingers with her's. Who does he think he is? To my utter disbelief, Siren smiles shyly and moves a bit closer to him. Her cheeks are flushed slightly as she blushes. How could she? She only gives me that look! I watch the amusement in Legolas's eyes at her reaction to their contact. I should rip his throat out! "Siren!" I shout and start walking after them. This is going to stop once and for all.
Siren and Legolas don't seem to hear me as the elf pulls her aside and under the shade of a tree. I feel the jealousy and anger burn in my veins as he leans down and whispers something in her ear. Her blush darkens and she looks up at him with wide eyes. What did he say to her? Legolas runs a finger down her cheek and tips her face up. He better not do what I think he will! He lowers his face, angling it slightly. "Don't you touch her! Get away from her!" I stop walking and watch with wide eyes as he captures her lips with his own.
I think I can feel my heart breaking.
Tears sting my eyes, and I don't care if they fall. Let them see me cry. Let them see how their betrayal has hurt me! But their embrace doesn't end, and they don't notice me. All that they see is each other. I turn to leave, my breath becoming harsh as I fight back the tears and rage. How could I think that my heart was ever safe with her? I'm nothing but a foolish man!
"You're safe, Avarier."
I stop walking, my body tense. I feel the wind run across my face, almost like a caress. Swallowing, I turn around. Siren is standing in front of me and Legolas is gone. Her eyes are full of pain and worry, and for a moment I forget all about my anger and simply wish to make the pain in her eyes disappear. She takes a step towards me, and I take one back. The pain and anger returns, full force. Pain flashes in her eyes for a moment, but she continues walking towards me. "You're safe and you're with me," she says softly. In the blink of an eye, she's in front of me, stroking my cheek with a tenderness that amazes me. The pain in her eyes mirrors my own, and I can see a desperation to comfort me. But I'm not safe with her. I can't be.
I see her think for a moment before locking her blue eyes with mine. "We're back at Gondor in your mother's house. She's safe and so are you. You'll always be safe with me." I look around and sure enough, we're back in my house. The familiar atmosphere is comforting, and some of the anger slips away. 'You'll always be safe with me'. Her promise echoes in my mind and I look at her again. She watches me from my bed, her eyes filled with love and devotion. Her eyes never held that with Legolas. "Si…" I walk over to the bed and she holds out her hand. I take it and sit down next to her. She lifts her hand and runs it through my hair lovingly. "Shh…it's okay. Everything is fine. Everything is perfectly fine. I'm here, and I love you, and you're safe."
'I love you'.
Oh Eru how I've longed to hear those words from her again. I finally give in and fall into her arms. They wrap around me immediately and I bury my head in her shoulder. She continues stroking my hair and holding me for a little while. After a few minutes, I feel her get up to leave and quickly grab her wrist. "Don't leave me," I say. Suddenly Siren disappears and I'm no longer in my house. Siren is dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, and she looks exhausted. What has happened? Where is Gondor? Then as soon as Gondor disappeared, it returned. "Please," I beg. I see her face soften as she complies and lays down next to me. I gather her into my arms and hold her against me, her body soft and warm. She wraps her arms around me and rests her head on my chest. "Sleep," she whispers. After a few minutes, I close my eyes and allow myself to.
"You love her, I see that. But her love for you? It's merely a shadow of what once was."
My eyes snap open as the dream is shattered.
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(Siren's POV)
I inhale deeply and snuggle deeper under the covers, reaching for the form next to me.
Only there is no form next to me.
"Avarier?" I throw back the covers and get out of the bed. I walk into the room adjacent to mine and see Hodoer and Astaider sitting on the couch. "Where's Avarier and Legolas?" Astaider looks up. "They went to go find Olos. They said that they'd be back by nightfall at the latest." I look over at the window, than sit down. "Oh. Did Avarier say anything before he left?" Hodoer and Astaider shake their heads. "No. But I'm sure that he'll be fine." I force a smile and nod. "Yeah, I'm sure he'll be fine."
But will we be?
Three hours have passed and they still haven't come back. I'm getting worried. Why would Avarier just leave without telling me? Without giving me the chance to beg him to let me go with him? …without giving me the chance to tell him that I love him. Unable to tolerate simply sitting and waiting around, I get up, grab a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt and walk into the bathroom. I quickly shower and get dressed, than walk downstairs. My sisters are in the family room, watching 'Boiling Points' on MTV. "See, Siren would never last nine minutes on this show. She would have strangled the actor after two," my youngest sister points out.
"Hey! I resemble that remark!"
I hear my sisters giggle, than walk into the kitchen. My mom is already making dinner. "Why are we making dinner so early? Who's coming over?" My mom throws me a look as she cuts up some vegetables. "The prayer group is coming over. I told you about this last week." I shrug and grab a glass. "I don't remember stuff from yesterday. How would I remember something from last week?" My mom nods. "Point taken." I fill the glass with water and take out my morning pills, pop them in my mouth and swallow them with a mouthful of water. After that's done, I look out the kitchen window and into the woods. Avarier is out there and so is Olos. What if Avarier's attacked out there? It would be all my fault.
"Siren, are you feeling alright?"
I blink and look over at my mom. "Huh?" She puts a hand to my forehead and shrugs. "You don't feel like you have a fever. But you're looking pale today. Do you feel alright?" I nod and shrug. "Yeah, I'm fine. Probably just a lack of sunlight. Do you think I can go for a walk in the woods today?" My mom stares at me as if I've grown two heads. "You were just attacked out there. There is no way you're going out there again."
Damn.
"But I heard on the news today that the creep was caught. It's totally safe." My mom shakes her head and goes back to making dinner. "The answer is 'no' and will stay that way." I put on my best pout and lean against the counter. "But mom, I'll be sure to be within shouting range," I whine. My mom shakes her head as she cuts through a carrot. "I already said 'no' and that's final. Now go back to your room. You should be resting." I roll my eyes and go back upstairs. Some parents will never learn. I move to go back to my room, but stop. Since when have I listened to my parents? Or anybody for that matter? Turning around, I walk down the hall and into my parents' bedroom. I slide one of the windows open and crawl onto the roof. "Okay, tons of kids sneak out of their houses. It shouldn't be too hard."
I bet that most of those kids were either living in one story houses or had a nice, sturdy tree to climb down. I have neither. "This is gonna be more difficult than I thought." Holding onto the shingles as well as I can, I swing one leg down and touch the porch railing. Biting my lip and praying as hard as I can, I swing my other leg down.
I miss.
"Oh shit," I curse as I try to reach the railing. How far down is the ground? I must look like a real idiot with my legs flailing in the air. My eyes widen as the shingles start to come loose. Cursing up a storm, I desperately try to find that damn railing. "Come on," I grunt. The shingle comes off entirely and I fly backwards. "Fuck!" The back of my leg hits the railing, cracking the wood in half as I hit the ground. I shut my eyes for a second, getting my breathing under control. "That…could have been worse…" I pant. At least, I think it could have been. Forcing myself to stand up, I make my way to the woods. I know that this isn't exactly the smartest thing to do, but there is no way that I'm going to let Avarier and Legolas go after Olos without me. Not again.
I make my way past the edge of the woods and move deeper inside. Every few minutes I stop walking and listen for the sound of any movement. And go figure, I hear nothing except my own breathing. Shrugging, I continue walking. After half an hour, I see something moving across from me. Squinting, I see that it's Avarier. Grinning like an idiot, I open my mouth to yell for him.
"Avarier, how good of you to visit me again."
My head snaps to the left and I see Olos walking towards Avarier. Oh no he won't! I move to run to Avarier, but stop when I see that he isn't moving. What is he doing? He could be killed! "Fuck," I curse, and hide behind a tree. "How are things between you and Siren? Did you tell her about our conversation?" Conversation? What the hell is he talking about? "No, I didn't. I let you escape once, Olos. I will not give you that chance again." I feel my breath catch in my throat. Avarier lied to me? He let Olos get away? How could he do that? After what that elf did to me…
"How kind of you, Avarier. I never did get a chance to thank you for that."
I feel the bile rising in my throat and swallow it. Avarier lied to me. He helped Olos. This is all I can think about. Avarier helped Olos. He helped my enemy. He helped the same elf that nearly raped and killed me.
Bastard.
"It's not going to happen again, Olos."
Damn right it won't.
"Pity. And here I thought we could be friends. After all, we both have something in common."
You're both assholes?
"And what would that be?"
"We're both angry at Siren for something."
Huh? Olos I can understand, but Avarier? What did I do to him?
"We're nothing alike."
Actually, in the asshole sense you are.
"Than why did you let me go?"
Yeah Avarier. Explain that.
"I…I don't know."
"You let me go so that I would get your revenge for you. You may love Siren, but part of you wants to punish her for what she did. Or what she didn't do, actually."
What is he talking about?
"Isn't that right, Avarier? You could never hurt her, but I could. I'll just be doing your dirty work."
"No. I would never want to see Siren hurt."
"Than why would you let me go?"
I shut my eyes tightly and lean against the tree for support. I think I'm going to throw up.
"Just admit it, Avarier. It's just us."
"I won't admit to wanting to see her hurt."
"Not even a little bit? What about her pride? That little heathen hurt your feelings, Avarier."
"I don't care!"
I can't take this.
"Why do you defend her? Do you think you're safe with her?"
My eyes fly open. Safe with me. That's what I told Avarier this morning. He knows that he's safe with me.
"You know that your heart will never be safe with her. She'll only hurt you in the end."
Liar!
"She'll leave you in the end. Did you think that she would go back to Middle Earth with you when you found her? Don't you remember anything that I said last night? She's a worthless bitch!"
"ENOUGH!"
I step out from behind the tree, my eyes narrowed at Olos. "If you want to mock me or put me down, do it to my face you son of a bitch." Olos smiles thinly and shrugs. "Siren---" I look over at Avarier, seeing red. "Shut up. I'm not even ready to talk to you." I turn back to Olos and take a step towards him. "What did you say to him?" I ask, continuing to walk to him. Olos takes a step back. "Only the truth." I clench my fists, wanting nothing more than to claw his face off. "And what truth did you tell him?" Olos stops walking backwards and looks over at Avarier. "I told him about how you didn't strive to reach him. You didn't go to the lengths that he did." Oh this elf is so fucking dead. "Right, because there are so many magical beings around here that I could go to for help, right? I tried to get to him you dumb bitch, but there was no one with the power to do it!"
"Siren-"
"I said shut up! You have no right to speak!" I don't look at Avarier but I can tell that he's hurt by my outburst. Good. "Siren! Avarier!" I hear Legolas shout our names, but don't turn around. "Legolas, shoot this bastard." I see Olos's eyes widen, and he quickly turns and starts to run. "SHOOT HIM!" I hear the whiz of an arrow and see it strike Olos's lower calf. He shouts in surprise and pain, but continues running. "AGAIN!" Another arrow zooms by but misses Olos by half an inch. "AGAIN!" When nothing zooms by, I turn around. "Again!" I shout. Legolas shakes his head. "He's gone." I growl and storm over to him. "Than follow him! Catch him and tie him up!" Legolas shakes his head. "It's over for today." I put my hands on Legolas's chest and shove him. Damn it, the elf doesn't even move an inch. "Catch him! Shoot him!"
"Siren, stop!"
I feel Avarier's arms lock around my waist and shove him away. "Don't touch me you traitor!" Avarier reaches out to me again and I slap him across the face. "Don't touch me!" His hand flies to his cheek, his eyes full of hurt. "You helped him," I growl. "You let him escape yesterday. And you believed his lies instead of coming to me."
"Is this true, Avarier?" Legolas asks.
"Of course it is," I say, my eyes never leaving Avarier's. "This worthless bitch has heard enough." With that, I turn and walk back to the house.
Forgive me for all you've done
I'm lying in my bed, looking up at the ceiling. Avarier has betrayed me. The same man that I gave my heart to…son of a bitch.
If I led your eyes to see
If I fed your mind with sickened thoughts
Would you consciously conceive
Everything that I have offered you?
(Olos's POV)
My damage is done. The look on Siren's face…it was priceless. Pure fury; absolutely beautiful. And the way Avarier looked when she shouted at him…a shudder runs down my spine at the memory of it. I can't help but laugh as I remember the sound of a slap ringing in through the woods. And now Siren knows of Avarier's betrayal. The pain etched on her face…it's absolutely stunning. It's days like this that you wish you could freeze time and replay the day over and over again. Closing my eyes, I listen to the sound of her soft cries. Her pain is like a drug. I can't get enough of it. And her anger was astounding. I could hear her shouting for Legolas to shoot me repeatedly. A dull throb in my leg reminds me of his successful shot. Throwing one last look up at Siren's window, I turn and walk away.
Shame
Stronger than
Pride
Stronger than
Hate
Stronger than
Life
(Siren's POV)
"How dare you help that bastard!"
I cringe at the sound of Avarier being shoved up against the wall. "After everything he did to you! To your mother! To Siren! You helped him by letting him go!" I shut my eyes tightly, more tears escaping them. I hate this. I hate Olos. I hate everything about him. I hate that a creature so beautiful could be so cruel and cold. "What do you have to say for yourself?" Legolas demands. Against my better judgment, I listen for Avarier's answer. "Nothing. I believed Olos and the lies that he told me. It all made sense to me. Siren's near non-existent attempts to find me, her choosing to spend more time with you…what was I supposed to believe?" I feel my heart clench painfully and clamp my hand over my mouth to muffle a sob. "She loves you! Siren loves you and you've betrayed her! How dare you!" Removing my hand from my mouth, I cover my ears. "Please stop," I whisper.
"What would make you believe him?!?"
"I don't know!"
"You must know!"
"Please stop, please stop, please stop," I repeat over and over. But the shouting is getting louder and I know that my parents will hear. "STOP IT!" I shout. Let my parents hear, I don't care. Someone knocks at my door. "Siren, are you alright?"
"I'm fine. I just had the TV up too loud. Sorry."
My mom leaves and I bury my face in my pillow. "Siren?" I hear footsteps in my room, and the bed shifts as someone sits down next to me. "Siren, I'm…"
"You were safe with me," I say, cutting him off. "But you're never going to be with me ever again. Now get out and don't come near me."
I keep my eyes shut as Avarier leaves. I hate everything.
If I lied would you still believe?
Mend your soul from my little fucking game
Why did Avarier have to come here? Why couldn't he just stay in Middle Earth? I love him so much, and all he's done is bring heartbreak and a monster to my home. To me.
Forgive me for all you've done
What does Avarier expect me to do? I love him. No matter how much part of me wants to hate him, I can't. My heart, my soul, won't let me. And part of me doesn't want to forgive him, but I have to. To love is to forgive. But is to love to hurt? Should love hurt this much? Should love make me cry this much?
Have I made your life a mess?
Is your soul perverted just like mine?
Inconvenienced by distress
Let it go, there's nowhere left to hide
"Siren, are you asleep?" I shake my head and Avarier and Hodoer walk in. I start crying again, and they both sit down next to me and hug me. "Oh Siren, it'll be alright." I shake my head and cry harder.
Shame
Stronger than
Pride
Stronger than
Hate
Stronger than
Life
Nothing will be alright.
If I lied to you would you still believe?
Mend your soul from my little fucking game
Nothing will ever be the same between Avarier and I.
Stronger than life
2 Be Continued
A/N- That was 'Mend' by Spineshank. I love that band!!!
By Siren
Hey guys! I'm glad you liked my last chapter! Oi, finals are tomorrow (if school isn't cancelled again). I hate finals! HATE THEM WITH A PASSION! Okay, done with the ranting now. This is going to be another dark chapter. For some reason I'm in a dark mood.
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Everyone's asleep.
I should be too, but I can't.
I stand in the entry-way to my bedroom where Avarier is sleeping fitfully in my bed. I still don't understand why he behaved the way he did. I just wish he would talk to me. And if he can't talk to me, than I really wish he would just…I don't know. I just miss him. Strange isn't it? How can you miss someone when they're barely a few feet away from you? 'Because you can't reach him,' my inner voice answers. I can reach him. I've been able to reach him since the day I met him. Gathering up my determination and courage, I walk over to the bed and sit down next to his twitching form. His body is covered in a sheen of sweat, his eyes clamped shut tightly. I reach out a tentative hand and gently brush the hair away from his eyes. Courage and determination quickly give way to love and devotion, and my face softens as I comfort the man I love.
"You're safe, Avarier," I whisper, unconsciously moving closer to him. "You're safe and you're with me." I watch as he relaxes a little and nuzzles my hand. I try to think of what to do to being him peace as I stroke his hair. "We're back in Gondor at your mother's house. She's safe and so are you. You'll always be safe with me." His breathing becomes less harsh and I feel his muscles relax under his skin. "Si…" I smile softly and stroke his cheek. "Shh…it's okay. Everything is fine. Everything is perfectly fine. I'm here, and I love you, and you're safe." He finally relaxes completely, and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding.
I stroke his cheek for another few minutes, than move to leave. I stop moving when his hand grabs my wrist. I look down to see his eyes half-open and clouded with sleep. "Don't leave me," he whispers. I should leave. He's still asleep and doesn't know what he's saying. He asked me not to stay with him before he went to bed and I should respect that. "Please," he pleads. Oh hell, I can't deny him. I comply and slide under the covers, only to be pulled to him and wrapped in his warm embrace. I wrap my arms around him and rest my head on his chest. "Sleep," I whisper, feeling my own eyes becoming heavy with fatigue. I listen to him snore lightly and bite back a giggle. Feeling my own body relax and become heavy, I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
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(Avarier's POV)
I'm watching with growing jealousy as Siren and Legolas walk together. The elf takes her hand and slowly laces his fingers with her's. Who does he think he is? To my utter disbelief, Siren smiles shyly and moves a bit closer to him. Her cheeks are flushed slightly as she blushes. How could she? She only gives me that look! I watch the amusement in Legolas's eyes at her reaction to their contact. I should rip his throat out! "Siren!" I shout and start walking after them. This is going to stop once and for all.
Siren and Legolas don't seem to hear me as the elf pulls her aside and under the shade of a tree. I feel the jealousy and anger burn in my veins as he leans down and whispers something in her ear. Her blush darkens and she looks up at him with wide eyes. What did he say to her? Legolas runs a finger down her cheek and tips her face up. He better not do what I think he will! He lowers his face, angling it slightly. "Don't you touch her! Get away from her!" I stop walking and watch with wide eyes as he captures her lips with his own.
I think I can feel my heart breaking.
Tears sting my eyes, and I don't care if they fall. Let them see me cry. Let them see how their betrayal has hurt me! But their embrace doesn't end, and they don't notice me. All that they see is each other. I turn to leave, my breath becoming harsh as I fight back the tears and rage. How could I think that my heart was ever safe with her? I'm nothing but a foolish man!
"You're safe, Avarier."
I stop walking, my body tense. I feel the wind run across my face, almost like a caress. Swallowing, I turn around. Siren is standing in front of me and Legolas is gone. Her eyes are full of pain and worry, and for a moment I forget all about my anger and simply wish to make the pain in her eyes disappear. She takes a step towards me, and I take one back. The pain and anger returns, full force. Pain flashes in her eyes for a moment, but she continues walking towards me. "You're safe and you're with me," she says softly. In the blink of an eye, she's in front of me, stroking my cheek with a tenderness that amazes me. The pain in her eyes mirrors my own, and I can see a desperation to comfort me. But I'm not safe with her. I can't be.
I see her think for a moment before locking her blue eyes with mine. "We're back at Gondor in your mother's house. She's safe and so are you. You'll always be safe with me." I look around and sure enough, we're back in my house. The familiar atmosphere is comforting, and some of the anger slips away. 'You'll always be safe with me'. Her promise echoes in my mind and I look at her again. She watches me from my bed, her eyes filled with love and devotion. Her eyes never held that with Legolas. "Si…" I walk over to the bed and she holds out her hand. I take it and sit down next to her. She lifts her hand and runs it through my hair lovingly. "Shh…it's okay. Everything is fine. Everything is perfectly fine. I'm here, and I love you, and you're safe."
'I love you'.
Oh Eru how I've longed to hear those words from her again. I finally give in and fall into her arms. They wrap around me immediately and I bury my head in her shoulder. She continues stroking my hair and holding me for a little while. After a few minutes, I feel her get up to leave and quickly grab her wrist. "Don't leave me," I say. Suddenly Siren disappears and I'm no longer in my house. Siren is dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, and she looks exhausted. What has happened? Where is Gondor? Then as soon as Gondor disappeared, it returned. "Please," I beg. I see her face soften as she complies and lays down next to me. I gather her into my arms and hold her against me, her body soft and warm. She wraps her arms around me and rests her head on my chest. "Sleep," she whispers. After a few minutes, I close my eyes and allow myself to.
"You love her, I see that. But her love for you? It's merely a shadow of what once was."
My eyes snap open as the dream is shattered.
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(Siren's POV)
I inhale deeply and snuggle deeper under the covers, reaching for the form next to me.
Only there is no form next to me.
"Avarier?" I throw back the covers and get out of the bed. I walk into the room adjacent to mine and see Hodoer and Astaider sitting on the couch. "Where's Avarier and Legolas?" Astaider looks up. "They went to go find Olos. They said that they'd be back by nightfall at the latest." I look over at the window, than sit down. "Oh. Did Avarier say anything before he left?" Hodoer and Astaider shake their heads. "No. But I'm sure that he'll be fine." I force a smile and nod. "Yeah, I'm sure he'll be fine."
But will we be?
Three hours have passed and they still haven't come back. I'm getting worried. Why would Avarier just leave without telling me? Without giving me the chance to beg him to let me go with him? …without giving me the chance to tell him that I love him. Unable to tolerate simply sitting and waiting around, I get up, grab a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt and walk into the bathroom. I quickly shower and get dressed, than walk downstairs. My sisters are in the family room, watching 'Boiling Points' on MTV. "See, Siren would never last nine minutes on this show. She would have strangled the actor after two," my youngest sister points out.
"Hey! I resemble that remark!"
I hear my sisters giggle, than walk into the kitchen. My mom is already making dinner. "Why are we making dinner so early? Who's coming over?" My mom throws me a look as she cuts up some vegetables. "The prayer group is coming over. I told you about this last week." I shrug and grab a glass. "I don't remember stuff from yesterday. How would I remember something from last week?" My mom nods. "Point taken." I fill the glass with water and take out my morning pills, pop them in my mouth and swallow them with a mouthful of water. After that's done, I look out the kitchen window and into the woods. Avarier is out there and so is Olos. What if Avarier's attacked out there? It would be all my fault.
"Siren, are you feeling alright?"
I blink and look over at my mom. "Huh?" She puts a hand to my forehead and shrugs. "You don't feel like you have a fever. But you're looking pale today. Do you feel alright?" I nod and shrug. "Yeah, I'm fine. Probably just a lack of sunlight. Do you think I can go for a walk in the woods today?" My mom stares at me as if I've grown two heads. "You were just attacked out there. There is no way you're going out there again."
Damn.
"But I heard on the news today that the creep was caught. It's totally safe." My mom shakes her head and goes back to making dinner. "The answer is 'no' and will stay that way." I put on my best pout and lean against the counter. "But mom, I'll be sure to be within shouting range," I whine. My mom shakes her head as she cuts through a carrot. "I already said 'no' and that's final. Now go back to your room. You should be resting." I roll my eyes and go back upstairs. Some parents will never learn. I move to go back to my room, but stop. Since when have I listened to my parents? Or anybody for that matter? Turning around, I walk down the hall and into my parents' bedroom. I slide one of the windows open and crawl onto the roof. "Okay, tons of kids sneak out of their houses. It shouldn't be too hard."
I bet that most of those kids were either living in one story houses or had a nice, sturdy tree to climb down. I have neither. "This is gonna be more difficult than I thought." Holding onto the shingles as well as I can, I swing one leg down and touch the porch railing. Biting my lip and praying as hard as I can, I swing my other leg down.
I miss.
"Oh shit," I curse as I try to reach the railing. How far down is the ground? I must look like a real idiot with my legs flailing in the air. My eyes widen as the shingles start to come loose. Cursing up a storm, I desperately try to find that damn railing. "Come on," I grunt. The shingle comes off entirely and I fly backwards. "Fuck!" The back of my leg hits the railing, cracking the wood in half as I hit the ground. I shut my eyes for a second, getting my breathing under control. "That…could have been worse…" I pant. At least, I think it could have been. Forcing myself to stand up, I make my way to the woods. I know that this isn't exactly the smartest thing to do, but there is no way that I'm going to let Avarier and Legolas go after Olos without me. Not again.
I make my way past the edge of the woods and move deeper inside. Every few minutes I stop walking and listen for the sound of any movement. And go figure, I hear nothing except my own breathing. Shrugging, I continue walking. After half an hour, I see something moving across from me. Squinting, I see that it's Avarier. Grinning like an idiot, I open my mouth to yell for him.
"Avarier, how good of you to visit me again."
My head snaps to the left and I see Olos walking towards Avarier. Oh no he won't! I move to run to Avarier, but stop when I see that he isn't moving. What is he doing? He could be killed! "Fuck," I curse, and hide behind a tree. "How are things between you and Siren? Did you tell her about our conversation?" Conversation? What the hell is he talking about? "No, I didn't. I let you escape once, Olos. I will not give you that chance again." I feel my breath catch in my throat. Avarier lied to me? He let Olos get away? How could he do that? After what that elf did to me…
"How kind of you, Avarier. I never did get a chance to thank you for that."
I feel the bile rising in my throat and swallow it. Avarier lied to me. He helped Olos. This is all I can think about. Avarier helped Olos. He helped my enemy. He helped the same elf that nearly raped and killed me.
Bastard.
"It's not going to happen again, Olos."
Damn right it won't.
"Pity. And here I thought we could be friends. After all, we both have something in common."
You're both assholes?
"And what would that be?"
"We're both angry at Siren for something."
Huh? Olos I can understand, but Avarier? What did I do to him?
"We're nothing alike."
Actually, in the asshole sense you are.
"Than why did you let me go?"
Yeah Avarier. Explain that.
"I…I don't know."
"You let me go so that I would get your revenge for you. You may love Siren, but part of you wants to punish her for what she did. Or what she didn't do, actually."
What is he talking about?
"Isn't that right, Avarier? You could never hurt her, but I could. I'll just be doing your dirty work."
"No. I would never want to see Siren hurt."
"Than why would you let me go?"
I shut my eyes tightly and lean against the tree for support. I think I'm going to throw up.
"Just admit it, Avarier. It's just us."
"I won't admit to wanting to see her hurt."
"Not even a little bit? What about her pride? That little heathen hurt your feelings, Avarier."
"I don't care!"
I can't take this.
"Why do you defend her? Do you think you're safe with her?"
My eyes fly open. Safe with me. That's what I told Avarier this morning. He knows that he's safe with me.
"You know that your heart will never be safe with her. She'll only hurt you in the end."
Liar!
"She'll leave you in the end. Did you think that she would go back to Middle Earth with you when you found her? Don't you remember anything that I said last night? She's a worthless bitch!"
"ENOUGH!"
I step out from behind the tree, my eyes narrowed at Olos. "If you want to mock me or put me down, do it to my face you son of a bitch." Olos smiles thinly and shrugs. "Siren---" I look over at Avarier, seeing red. "Shut up. I'm not even ready to talk to you." I turn back to Olos and take a step towards him. "What did you say to him?" I ask, continuing to walk to him. Olos takes a step back. "Only the truth." I clench my fists, wanting nothing more than to claw his face off. "And what truth did you tell him?" Olos stops walking backwards and looks over at Avarier. "I told him about how you didn't strive to reach him. You didn't go to the lengths that he did." Oh this elf is so fucking dead. "Right, because there are so many magical beings around here that I could go to for help, right? I tried to get to him you dumb bitch, but there was no one with the power to do it!"
"Siren-"
"I said shut up! You have no right to speak!" I don't look at Avarier but I can tell that he's hurt by my outburst. Good. "Siren! Avarier!" I hear Legolas shout our names, but don't turn around. "Legolas, shoot this bastard." I see Olos's eyes widen, and he quickly turns and starts to run. "SHOOT HIM!" I hear the whiz of an arrow and see it strike Olos's lower calf. He shouts in surprise and pain, but continues running. "AGAIN!" Another arrow zooms by but misses Olos by half an inch. "AGAIN!" When nothing zooms by, I turn around. "Again!" I shout. Legolas shakes his head. "He's gone." I growl and storm over to him. "Than follow him! Catch him and tie him up!" Legolas shakes his head. "It's over for today." I put my hands on Legolas's chest and shove him. Damn it, the elf doesn't even move an inch. "Catch him! Shoot him!"
"Siren, stop!"
I feel Avarier's arms lock around my waist and shove him away. "Don't touch me you traitor!" Avarier reaches out to me again and I slap him across the face. "Don't touch me!" His hand flies to his cheek, his eyes full of hurt. "You helped him," I growl. "You let him escape yesterday. And you believed his lies instead of coming to me."
"Is this true, Avarier?" Legolas asks.
"Of course it is," I say, my eyes never leaving Avarier's. "This worthless bitch has heard enough." With that, I turn and walk back to the house.
Forgive me for all you've done
I'm lying in my bed, looking up at the ceiling. Avarier has betrayed me. The same man that I gave my heart to…son of a bitch.
If I led your eyes to see
If I fed your mind with sickened thoughts
Would you consciously conceive
Everything that I have offered you?
(Olos's POV)
My damage is done. The look on Siren's face…it was priceless. Pure fury; absolutely beautiful. And the way Avarier looked when she shouted at him…a shudder runs down my spine at the memory of it. I can't help but laugh as I remember the sound of a slap ringing in through the woods. And now Siren knows of Avarier's betrayal. The pain etched on her face…it's absolutely stunning. It's days like this that you wish you could freeze time and replay the day over and over again. Closing my eyes, I listen to the sound of her soft cries. Her pain is like a drug. I can't get enough of it. And her anger was astounding. I could hear her shouting for Legolas to shoot me repeatedly. A dull throb in my leg reminds me of his successful shot. Throwing one last look up at Siren's window, I turn and walk away.
Shame
Stronger than
Pride
Stronger than
Hate
Stronger than
Life
(Siren's POV)
"How dare you help that bastard!"
I cringe at the sound of Avarier being shoved up against the wall. "After everything he did to you! To your mother! To Siren! You helped him by letting him go!" I shut my eyes tightly, more tears escaping them. I hate this. I hate Olos. I hate everything about him. I hate that a creature so beautiful could be so cruel and cold. "What do you have to say for yourself?" Legolas demands. Against my better judgment, I listen for Avarier's answer. "Nothing. I believed Olos and the lies that he told me. It all made sense to me. Siren's near non-existent attempts to find me, her choosing to spend more time with you…what was I supposed to believe?" I feel my heart clench painfully and clamp my hand over my mouth to muffle a sob. "She loves you! Siren loves you and you've betrayed her! How dare you!" Removing my hand from my mouth, I cover my ears. "Please stop," I whisper.
"What would make you believe him?!?"
"I don't know!"
"You must know!"
"Please stop, please stop, please stop," I repeat over and over. But the shouting is getting louder and I know that my parents will hear. "STOP IT!" I shout. Let my parents hear, I don't care. Someone knocks at my door. "Siren, are you alright?"
"I'm fine. I just had the TV up too loud. Sorry."
My mom leaves and I bury my face in my pillow. "Siren?" I hear footsteps in my room, and the bed shifts as someone sits down next to me. "Siren, I'm…"
"You were safe with me," I say, cutting him off. "But you're never going to be with me ever again. Now get out and don't come near me."
I keep my eyes shut as Avarier leaves. I hate everything.
If I lied would you still believe?
Mend your soul from my little fucking game
Why did Avarier have to come here? Why couldn't he just stay in Middle Earth? I love him so much, and all he's done is bring heartbreak and a monster to my home. To me.
Forgive me for all you've done
What does Avarier expect me to do? I love him. No matter how much part of me wants to hate him, I can't. My heart, my soul, won't let me. And part of me doesn't want to forgive him, but I have to. To love is to forgive. But is to love to hurt? Should love hurt this much? Should love make me cry this much?
Have I made your life a mess?
Is your soul perverted just like mine?
Inconvenienced by distress
Let it go, there's nowhere left to hide
"Siren, are you asleep?" I shake my head and Avarier and Hodoer walk in. I start crying again, and they both sit down next to me and hug me. "Oh Siren, it'll be alright." I shake my head and cry harder.
Shame
Stronger than
Pride
Stronger than
Hate
Stronger than
Life
Nothing will be alright.
If I lied to you would you still believe?
Mend your soul from my little fucking game
Nothing will ever be the same between Avarier and I.
Stronger than life
2 Be Continued
A/N- That was 'Mend' by Spineshank. I love that band!!!