Waking Up

Hey guys! I got a new computer, so I can update more often! jumps and squeals for joy Anyway, I don't own 'Perfect Girl' by Sarah McLachlan. Get ready for more drama!

Pain.

There was so much of it.

Every muscle in my body was tense and pinched.

Dear Lord, someone shoot me.

Slap!

....I believe I said for someone to shoot me, not slap me.

Slap!

"Siren!"

If that's Sean, I'll kill him. Stop slapping me, damn it!

"Hear my voice. Come back to the light."

Eh? Wait, aren't I supposed to stay away from the light? Why the hell would I want to go to it?

"She's not waking up!"

"She wasn't supposed to come back to Middle Earth, you moronic little human. Her body couldn't take it."

"Silence Olos!"

"Quiet, all of you! You're not helping the situation at all! Now, my Lady, why isn't Siren waking up? She is breathing, even if it is shallowly."

"I'm sad to say that Olos was right. Since the destruction of the One Ring my powers have diminished. I had little control of the portal and had no power over who came to Middle Earth. Siren was not supposed to come, but it couldn't be helped."

"Will she be alright?"

"I don't know. This hasn't happened before."

"The rest of us aren't unconscious. Why is she?"

"You are all filled with a small sum of magic, even if it is fading. In Siren's world, what little magic is left does not affect her. The magic of her world is dormant, if not gone all together. Her body couldn't take the strain of crossing worlds."

Oh. Well, good job lady! Maybe she could have thought of this before opening that stupid portal at all! Damn! Alright, wake me up already. I have a few words for this wise elf!

"Can you help her?"

"I honestly don't know, but I will try."

Good! Try! Grr...I struggle to open my eyes or move, but I can't. Why can't I move?

Siren, hear my voice...

Okay. I hear you. I've heard everything you guys have been saying! And besides, you already told me to 'hear your voice'.

At least you live mentally.

Oh don't take that sarcastic tone with me, missy. Oh. Wait. Oh...you're in my head, aren't you?

Yes. And my name is Galadriel, not 'missy'. I need you to follow my voice, Siren. Follow it back to the conscious world.

And how exactly do I do that? I've never done this before!

Just focus on my voice and I will do the rest.

Okay, sounds easy enough. Focus...focus...okay, I'm focusing here!

Good. Hold on to me.

I'm holding. Um, hello, I'm holding! Wake me up!

"Siren, you can let go of my head."

I crack open an eye and see that I'm latched onto Galadriel's head. Blushing sheepishly, I let go and fall back in a heap. "Oops," I mumble. "Siren!" I shriek as I'm grabbed by at least ten different pairs of hands. Avarier, Astaider, Hodoer and Legolas are latched onto me now, hugging me tightly. Aw, they love me.

Wait a second.

"Avarier, let go of me," I command in a low tone. He doesn't listen, and I notice that he's mumbling 'thank Eru' over and over again. Sweet, but I still hate him. "Avarier, let go." He still doesn't listen to me. "I said let go!" I shout and struggle against everyone. Bad move. I shout again as my body sears with pain, sending me into a spasm. All but Legolas let go of me. In my spasming, I kick Avarier away and watch him scuttle backwards. Good.

"My Lady?"

Galadriel stands in front of me, next to her husband. "Her body is awake and alert, but it must rest and heal." Oh, how dandy. "No time for rest," I gasp out. "Send me back to my world." The she-elf's eyes dim slightly with sadness and she frowns. "What? Why the frowning?" her blue eyes lock with mine and I feel fear grip my heart. "Lady Galadriel?" She sighs and closes her eyes. "I cannot send you back."

What?

"What are you talking about? You can send me back!" She shakes her head. "No, my child, I can't. I do not have the strength to open the portal again." No. No, she's wrong. She can. "You're lying," I say in a hushed voice. She must be lying. She must be joking! "To open the portal before required the strength of me husband, your friends and myself. To attempt it again would kill us all. Do you want that?" Stupid question, lady! "What I want is to go home!" I shout angrily. "I'm sorry," she says softly. Sorry? She's sorry? Well sorry won't send me back home! I will not be stuck here, damn it! I won't!

"You can't keep me here!"

"Sorry bitch, but you're stuck here," Olos sneers. That's it. I'm going to kill the bastard. Ignoring the immense pain that flares through my body, I push myself up and lunge at him. I let out a scream of anger as I attack him, landing a good right hook at his jaw before the Lothlorien guards pull me back. "I'll kill you!" I growl, struggling against the blonde soldiers. "Let me go! Let me at that son of a bitch! I'll rip him apart!"

Siren, stop.

"And stay out of my head!" I shout, whirling to the she-elf. "You have no right to be in there, so stay the fuck out!" A hand on my arm draws my attention and I smack it away. "Don't touch me," I hiss at Legolas. He looks hurt, but reaches out to me again. "I said don't touch me!" I turn to Galadriel, more angry than I've been in a long time. "I will not be stuck in this world," I say. Feeling my heart pounding angrily in my chest, I turn and run.

"Siren, wait!"

Fuck you, Avarier. I run, I hope, further away from Lothlorien. I'll find my own way back home. I don't care how long I have to search this world. I won't stay here forever. I refuse. Breathing in short gasps, I hear Avarier and the others shouting after me. Ignoring them, I continue running. My body is in absolute agony, but I don't care. Tears leaking out of the corner of my eyes at the pain, I push myself forward. Just keep running. No more Avarier. No more Olos. No more. Leaping over a log, I run through a shallow stream and trip on the muddy bank. Shit. Hauling myself up, I prepare to run again when I jog right into someone.

Looking up, I notice that it's Haldir. Fuck. I try to move past him, but he won't budge. "Come on, move," I mutter and grunt as I try to push him away. "Please move," I plead, crying a bit harder. Haldir is silent and unmoving. Is he really a statue? His cold blue eyes meet mine and a flash of anger fills me. "Get out of my way!" I shove at him. "Move!" I shove at him again. "Stop that," he says in a monotonous voice. No. "I said move!" I shout and ram at him. He catches me and holds me at arms length, staring at me with almost childlike fascination.

I struggle in his grasp and and let out a cry of frustraion as Avarier's voice gets closer. "Damn it, let me go! I'm going home!"

"There is no way back to your home. Did you not hear the Lady?"

"Fuck the Lady! I won't be kept here! I have a family and friends and they're back home! So please, let me go!" Soon the pain overwhelmes me and I fall to my knees, Haldir kneeling in front of me. "You're wounded," he says. No shit, sherlock. Giving up, I hang my head and cry. To my surprise, Haldir draws me to his chest and cradles me gently. I wrap my arms around his neck and shoulder and cry into the material of his shirt. "This can't be happening," I say into the crook of his neck.

"Haldir, escort Lady Siren to her flat so she may rest," I hear Galadriel say.

Haldir slips one arm under my back and the other under my legs and lifts me up. I can feel my friends staring at me, but I don't want to look at them. Instead, I hide my face in Haldir's shirt. Peeking out from Haldir's shoulder, I lean my head back and look up at the rooftops of the trees. The soft illumination of everything is relaxing and beautiful...

Haldir brings me to a flat and lays me down on the bed. He draws the silken covers to my chin and fills a basin with water, bringing it over to the bed. Dipping a cloth in it, it dabs it on my forehead and cheek gently, wiping the dirt away. The water is cool and refreshing against my skin. "Tear-tracks should not mar such young skin," he says, ringing out the cloth. "They've become an everyday occurrence since I came here," I say, my throat dry and raspy. Haldir takes a cup and leaves the room for a moment. He returns with it and tilts it to my lips. "Drink," he says, and I obey. The cool liquid runs down the back of my throat, coating it and soothing it. "Thank you."

Haldir nods and stands again. "Rest," he says softly and leaves.

Yeah, right.

Am I faithful, am I strong, am I good enough to belong

In your reverie a perfect girl

Your vision of romance is cruel and all along I played the fool

All your expectations bury me

I close my eyes, only to open them again when the floorboards creak. Avarier steps into my room cautiously, his eyes flicking over to my form. "I wanted to see if you were alright." I shake my head and look away. "I haven't been alright for a while, Avarier. But I would be better if you left." I can feel his pain and try to push it away. "I'm sorry," he says softly. I nod. "I know. Now leave." The floorboards creak as he does.

Don't worry, you will find the answer if you let it go

Give yourself some time to falter

But don't forgo knowing that you're loved no matter what

And everything will come around this time

I miss Avarier. I really, truly do. But I won't go to him or call out for him. I can't. Sighing, I feel the bed shift under a new weight. I look up at Legolas and smile slightly. "Hi," I greet in a whisper. "Hello," he replies and takes my hand. I give it a light squeeze and sigh again, shakily. "I'm sorry for yelling at you," I apologize. Legolas shrugs. "Avarier just stopped by. He apologized again. I know he's sorry, but...I can't do it again. And it sucks because I really need him right now," I babble. Legolas moves behind me and lays down, wrapping his arms around my waist. "If it is meant to be, then love will find a way. But rest now."

I own my insecurities, I try to own my destiny

That I can make or break it if I choose

But you take my words and twist them 'round

'Til I'm the one who brings you down

Make me feel like I'm the one to blame for all of this...

Yeah, rest. But how can I rest? Love will find a way...I really wish I could believe that. But I don't see a way for me to ever be able to trust Avarier again. Maybe it's for the best. Maybe there is no happily ever-after in this fairy-tale world. I mean...some things must be too good to be true. Why else would all of this be happening? Why else would I be hurting so much? Is it my own fault? Were my expectations of Avarier, of this world, too much? Am I the one to blame for all of this?

You need everybody with you on your side

Now that I am here for you but I hope in time

You'll find yourself alright alone

You'll find yourself with open arms

You'll find yourself, you'll find yourself in time

Feeling tears stinging my eyes again, I shut them tightly. Please, don't make me cry anymore tonight. Can a person run out of tears? If they can, then let me be one of them. I don't want to cry anymore. I feel Legolas's arms tighten around my waist and choke back a sob. "No more tears, mellon-nin," I hear him whisper. "I can't help it," I reply, wiping the tears away. I can't take him back. And Lord help me, it hurts. Shutting my eyes again, I hold back the tears and try to find some solace in sleep.

The riot in my heart decides to keep me open and alive

I have to take myself away from you

'Cause I can't compete, I can't deny, there's nothing that I didn't try

How did I go wrong in loving you