A/N: I know I abandoned this for quite a while, but now I'm on a mad spree with it. Heehee. So heres chapter 13th wrapped in angst.
Ron was gone for the holidays and it had left Harry and Hermione alone in Gryffindor tower. Ofcourse Harry would have prefered if Hermione had gone too because then maybe he could've done something else but homework the first two days of their holiday. On the third day there was a shift in their activity and conversation to Harry's suprise and happiness.
"Do you think Ron and I should well...You know..." Hermione trailed off biting her lip.
"Eat pickles? Why ofcourse!" Harry replied merrily.
"Noooo!" Hermione whined. Harry raised his eyebrows, he had never heard Hermione whine like that before. "I mean, well, have sex."
Harry was sure he'd never find his eyes again, he wasn't sure which way they had rolled when they had popped out of his skull. Hermione was thinking about having sex? With Ron? It was one of the oddest things he had ever heard of, and disturbing. Hermione was like a sister to him, it was just wrong thinking about that. It was like Ginny coming up to Ron and asking if she should have sex with her boyfriend. Automatically overprotective brother gear had clicked in his head and a scowl grew onto his face.
"Are you kidding me? Ofcourse I don't think you should have sex with him, we're only sixteen and-"
"Hey! Ginny has gone further than me." Hermione replied indignantly, sitting up from her sprawl on the floor. Then her eyes narrowed and she laughed. "Harry, it's okay. It's not like Ron is going to hurt me or anything." Her voice was lined in so much humour Harry felt his face flush. Why was he so worried?
"If that's what you think will make you two happy." He finally said grudgingly. Hermione cracked into a wide smile and flung her arms around his neck. "I don't know why I'm so tight up about that." Harry admitted.
'Your worried about Draco and you know it, dunderhead.'
"Dunderhead," Harry said angrily.
"Excuse me?" Hermione scoffed, pulling out of the hug and staring at him.
"Sorry, I'm just...Dumb..." Harry sighed and pulled his homework onto his lap. Hermione didn't care to move though, she simply stared at the homework and at Harry's face and back and forth for awhile. Harry tried not to notice, but it was getting a bit aggitating.
His quill never stopped writing under her close scrutiny which was odd as she was very hard to ignore when she was staring at you like that. It was really quite intimidating.
"How about you quit this homework thing for now. I mean, noone else is even going to get as far as we have. How about we do something." Hermione grabbed Harry's homework and set it on the common room table.
Harry couldn't help but moan, "Hermione, not the library. That place is-"
"No, not the library, Harry." Hermione laughed in exasperation. "Let's go swimming!"
It had finally happened. Hermione Jane Granger had finally lost her mind. It was probably running off down the corridor cackling about how all the house elves would be freed now that it was out of the confinement of her skull.
"Hermione." Harry stated evenly, "it's in the middle of winter."
"You are perhaps one of the thickest boys ever!" Hermione squeeked. "The prefect bathrooms. We can get in our swimming suits and go and swim in there. I mean its like a small swimming pool."
Harry could've hurten himself. It seemed that Hermione had managed to capture her brain and shove it back into the skull that was too small to hold the probably monstrously large thing.
The raven haired boy didn't say anything though and just went up the stairs to his dorm to get on his swimming trunks. He wished Draco was there so they could snog in the water while Hermione gasped in shock. He smiled at the thought of her face.
'Tell her.'
Harry fell over with his trunks at his knees, laying on the floor basically naked he began to think.
'Hermione would understand, Hermione wouldn't care. For heaven's sakes boy, do you need brain fuel or something because tonight you have been quite the neanderthal.'
"Neanderthal my ass." Harry grumbled, stumbling up and pulling the trunks up all the way and tieing them. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and realized that his muscle had filled out very well. He stared in wonderment and poked his belly. "Wow." He stated.
"Harry, are you almost ready?" Hermione called up the staircase. Harry smiled and poked his tummy again, giggling.
"Yeah, yeah. I'll be down in a sec." And Harry grabbed a towel from his drawer and raced down the stairs. Hermione was standing there patiently with her own towel wrapped around her body, her hair up in a ponytail away from her face.
"Forgetting anything?" She asked, heading towards the portrait hole. Harry pondered for a moment and if he were in a video game an explanation point would've appeared above his head.
"Ooo!" He said and she turned around to look at him with raised eyebrows. "Watch this." And Harry smiled wide, pointed his finger at her, then turned it at himself and...
Poked himself in the stomach.
And giggled.
"Muscle!"
"Oh my god, Harry James Potter," Hermione's eyes were wide and her eyebrows had shot up immediatly. "You have got to be kidding me."
"What? It's there still, right?" Harry looked down and poked it repeatedly. It felt real.
"No, it's just...You just noticed that you have a body built for Quidditch." Hermione sighed and Harry opened his mouth and shut it. She didn't wait for him to find the words, she just left and he hurried after her.
The hallways were freezing compared to their cozey common room and that's probably why Hermione had the towel around her, while Harry was hurrying to wrap it around his shoulders. By the time they got there Harry was more than willing to turn on the hot water and the bubbles and perfumes around the small pool while Hermione turned her ponytail into a bun.
"There, nice and perfumey and all fragranty and...stuffffff..." Harry trailed off when he spotted Hermione. She was wearing a two piece black suit. The straps connected in the back of her neck and the bottom piece was a bikini bottom.
Hermione payed no attention of the disapproving look from Harry and slipped into the pool of bubbles. "Come on, aren't you getting in?"
"You do realize that-"
"Harry! We're sixteen! I want to wear clothes that I like, not that are modest and appropriate." Hermione returned evenly, "can we just have fun?"
'Yeah, and then when you get out you can tell her.'
"Fine," Harry told Hermione and his conscience.
Hermione and Harry splashed around and swam in the water for hours on end, enjoying themselves immensely the whole time. Eventually they calmed down after much play and games. They both settled down in the shallow part of the "bath tub" and began to chat in a way that they hadn't in a very long time.
"Yeah, Ron is so intolerable at times, but I love him." Hermione said dreamily, lazing backwards and letting her legs float a bit.
Harry smiled wide, "you're in love?" He asked. That he didn't mind, as long as Ron returned the feelings and didn't send her crashing to the ground.
"Yes, I am in love." Hermione looked over at him and caught him smiling at her and she blushed, smacking his arm. "What about you? I don't ever see you going around and hitting on girls or boys. You could get anyone too." Hermione said with a bit of concern and playfulness mingling together.
'Tell her now.'
"But we agreed to wait," Harry yelled angrily. Hermione started backwards and her eyebrows furrowed in concern.
'Now look, you scared the little lady.'
Harry gave up at that very moment, why, why fight against it anymore. Why was he afraid to tell her? She would not give, sure she'd wonder why Malfoy at times, but she understood that love was love. Harry smiled a bit, I mean, Ron and Hermione? They were always bickering before.
"I'm seeing Draco Malfoy." Harry stated calmly.
Hermione didn't say anything at first, she seemed to be picturing something inside her head, and then she smiled a bit.
"What about Malfoy? He's a hot blonde." Ginny brought up. Hermione smiled.
"There's no denying that, but he's an ass and we hate him. Or at least I know I strongly dislike him."
It stroke Hermione odd that for some odd reason she couldn't bring herself to hate Malfoy. She never had, that's why the fact that she only disliked him gave her more of an excuse to be happy for her best friend. So, Hermione laughed and hugged Harry, "I'm happy for you! Is he an arse for real or what? Is that why he's been leaving us alone lately and whyyou'vebeendisappearingmysteriously?" Hermione started to run her words together and Harry just blinked.
"Which one of those do you want answered first?"
"Let's go back to the common room and sit infront of the fire to dry off. We'll have girl talk." Hermione said and climbed out of the pool.
Harry blinked and he could hear his conscience chortling at him.
"You've got to be kidding me," Harry grumbled following her.
And despite the fact that Harry was very masculine in the conversation he enjoyed it. Sure it wasn't what he'd want to do every night before he went to bed, but it was better than homework and he finally got to tell someone about him and Draco and what Draco was really like. Finally someone besides him and some of the Slytherin's would finally know who Draco Malfoy really was.
Hermione seemed exstatic the whole time too, listening animately, and talking just as much. The two turned in much later than usual and when they snuggled down into their bed's they felt closer and Harry couldn't help but feel that for once his conscience had done something right.
The day when everyone got back from Christmas vacation Harry knew that Draco had to be alright. He had thoughten it over and he decided that if Draco just didn't show up for school Dumbledore would have something to say about it. If Voldemort feared Dumbledore than Lucius had to too.
Naturally he was at edge the whole day. He and Hermione played chess for quite awhile and lots of card games, but his mind was always elsewear, and she seemed to realize that right away. She didn't say anything though, despite the fact that she wasn't as nearly as excited to see Ron as Harry was to see Draco. She pondered that in her own mind while Harry kept looking up at the clock, willing it to go faster.
"What's up with you?" Hermione finally asked in exasperation. She had been working it over in her head for hours and could not find the problem, she had checked the problem, her solutions. It was like a math equation to her, and one that she couldn't figure out bothered her to extreme proportions.
"They get back today, aren't you excited?" Harry asked nerviously.
"Harry, I'm excited, you're just nervious, what's up?" Hermione asked, moving a bishop to attack Harry's knight.
Harry didn't have the right to tell Hermione about the letter he had found, about the fact that he wasn't sure what happened to Draco when he went home. Sure, he knew Draco thought his parent's were downright assholes, but he didn't know what went on, and so far Draco hadn't opened up to tell him.
Luckily Hermione didn't press the matter until later on that day when Harry told her he wasn't hungry for lunch. She frowned and went upstairs to her dorm, abandoning their game of Rummy 5000.
When she returned she was holding a jar of pickles, and Harry's mouth watered viciously.
"Hermione," he began to whine. "This isn't fair."
"It's perfectly fair, I know you're hungry, so eat up." Hermione opened the jar of pickles and set it infront of him.
Harry's hand dove into the jar and pulled out a pickle dripping in juice, and took a large bite.
"Waiiit..." Harry said after swallowing. "You keep a jar of pickles in your room to bribe me?" He asked in horror.
"Well, I know it works, so why not?" Hermione shrugged, picking up her cards. "Now, are you going to tell me, or do I have to take the pickles away?" Harry's mouth dropped open. So unfair.
"I dunno if Draco would want me to tell anyone about my concerns." Harry said matter-of-factly.
"If they're just concerns then he won't mind, it's not like he told you anything." Hermione shrugged.
Sometimes Harry wondered how such a pristine girl could come up with such good excuses and good loop holes in things. She was brilliant, but brilliant and pristine conflicted like that sometimes. So, Harry was defeated. He didn't feel like fighting, and the right thing to do was to tell, but telling never felt right.
"I'm worried about how his parent's treat him." Harry stated simply, and Hermione stared at him for awhile. Great, he was going to have to elaborate. "I found a letter before we were going out, and it sounds like his dad abuses him." Harry looked down at his cards and felt a frustrated bubble rising up and down in his stomach. "I just don't understand why he won't tell me! I've seen a scar on his arm, and he tells me its from Buckbeak, but it's never been there before." Harry's hands began to shake and Hermione's eyes softened. "I'm scared for him, okay?" Harry burst, throwing down his cards.
Neither of them said a word for quite awhile. Hermione didn't reach out yet in fear of another outburst. Meanwhile Harry was lost in his own detailed emotions and thoughts. What would happen when Draco got back? Would they just continue no matter how much Draco was hurting? Would Draco say something if he was being mentally or physically injured?
"How am I supposed to get him to tell me?" Harry asked Hermione in misery, falling over onto his back.
"Get his shirt off, I mean you are going out." Hermione said matter-of-factly.
"How is getting him horny supposed to help me?" Harry snapped back. He was not in the mood for jokes.
Hermione however simply sighed. "I meant to see if there are any marks. If you see anything ask what it's from, try and unburry the truth from him. He's bound to crack someday." And Hermione began to clean up the cards. "I want to get down there early now, I'll pull Ron away so you and Draco can go somewhere else, okay?" Hermione asked with a smile, Harry nodded.
The Entrance Hall was empty albeit the two Gryffindors, the few other student's who had stayed at Hogwarts had either not yet arrived or weren't planning to. Harry shifted from foot to foot, chewing on his nails out of habit. Hermione sighed and rubbed his arm in a soothing gesture, but Harry kept shrugging her off. Eventually he decided to run in circles around Hermione.
"Harry, why?"
"It helps," he snapped back and she smirked at him.
"They're due any minute," Hermione announced and just then the first passengers of the first carriage opened the great oak doors with warm smiles and began to take off their scarves, all of them heading off together. Soon acouple of groups of teenagers had passed them and no sign of either Ron or Draco yet. However, Harry had not stopped his running around in circles to Hermione's great annoyance.
"Oh!" Hermione said waving her arm above her head and when the red headed boy didn't see her she sighed and ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him. He smiled through the kiss and the two were off to Gryffindor Tower, Ron asking where Harry was the whole way, only to be silenced with a kiss.
Harry sighed, Hermione had a strange way. She was going to either make Ron happy for the rest of his life, or drive him insane.
Without Hermione there though Harry was beginning to feel alone and his nerviousness was coming in full now. There was noone to run around repeatedly, or talk to, or yell at, it was just him and his fingernails and the hope that Draco was okay.
That's when he saw him, a flash of silvery blonde hair and Draco was disappearing into the crowd of other Slytherins.
"Draco!" Harry called and pushed through them, some pushing back, others snorting in disgust. Draco turned to him and a huge smile spread across his face, and in an instant they were in eachother's arms snogging eachother senceless recieving many startled looks.
"Room of Requirement." Draco breathed, and Harry dragged him off by the hand to the desired room which appeared almost immediatly for them.
When they burst into the room Draco fell onto the bed, his trunk forgotten on the floor by the door. Harry made his way over to him and began to take off his scarf, gloves, and cloak. Draco was shivering despite the warmth in the bedroom and Harry began to become worried again.
"How was your vacation?" Harry asked, taking off Draco's oversweater. Draco didn't move and Harry hoped that was a sign that there was nothing to hide under his layers of clothing.
"Well, I got to see my family and I played the piano and they danced and ermmm...I did my homework." The blonde finished lamely. "What about yours?"
Harry laughed and sighed, "well, Hermione had me on homework for two days and then eventually we went swimming in the prefect bathroom, and I told her about us." Harry said triumphantly, glad he had a better ending than Draco.
Draco smiled slightly and sat up to give Harry a peck on the cheek. "What did she say?"
"Well, nothing bad, she likes you and understands you a lot better after well, she called it girl talk." Harry said mockingly making quote marks with his fingers. Draco giggled and Harry moved down to remove Draco's shoes and socks.
The two sat in silence for awhile, as if Draco was slightly unwilling to talk and Harry finally decided it was time to try and warm Draco up with skin to skin. He moved back up the bed, pinning Draco down, Harry couldn't tell if the whimper Draco made was from pain, fear, or enjoyment when Harry began to nibble on his boyfriend's neck. Harry began to fumble with Draco's top button but a hand clasped over his, lips forced back onto Harry's.
He was trying to distract him. Well hell if he lost.
Harry pinned Draco's hands up above his head and began to unbutton the shirt again, this time Draco arched his back and pushed his hips up into Harry's, but no matter how turned on Harry became he knew he had to get the shirt off. Now Draco was started to panic though, and he could see it in his eyes, he bit his lip and then without warning started to thrash about on the bed.
"No, I don't want to Harry!" Draco yelled in anger, trying to scramble away. Harry could feel the guilt rising up in his throat and he bit his lip, wanting to let Draco get away.
But he had to know.
He grabbed Draco's ankle and pulled him back towards him, grabbing his shirt and ripping it open so buttons went flying everywhere. Draco tried to pull it back together but Harry had his arms pinned again before Draco could even try.
And Harry gasped, and Draco cried.
There were scars on his stomach from Harry could only imagine what. There were bruises and freshly made gashes, and Harry backed off, letting Draco try to pull together his dignity, but the problem was that he didn't even try.
"Draco, I'm sorry, but I had to know. You wouldn't tell me-"
"I know, Harry, just shuttup!" Draco yelled through his tears. Harry expected him to pull the shirt around him and collect his things, and then to storm out of the room, but he didn't. He let the shirt fall off his pale frame and Harry winced at the sight of his back which had scars and marks all over it.
Harry didn't speak, he simply layed his hand on Draco's back and began to rub, the rough feeling smooth to him.
"Why didn't we see it before?" He asked his voice croaking in his throat.
"I usually have concealment charms..." Draco whispered hoarsely. "It makes me hideous," and Harry collected Draco into his arms and held him, and swore on his life that he would never let Lucius hurt his Draco again.