Realizing Feelings

I was just sitting on the couch that night, watching Harry and Hermione play Exploding Snap. Okay, so they thought I was studying, which is what I was acting like I was doing. Periodic turns of the page, silently moving my eyes, and holding them in one spot every now and then to make it look like I was trying to get it. Yes, I had them confused.

Why do I care so much about Hermione, anyways? She is just my know-it-all friend…
How can you be sure she isn't more unless you really look at her?
I do really look at her! She's like a cousin…my plain, smart and argumentative cousin.
No, she isn't. She is your smart, wonderful, caring, great, and understanding best friend.
And? A relationship between us would still be very wrong.
How can you be sure?
What if we break up? We'll never be the same, and Harry will be stuck in the middle.
And if you don't go and do something stupid, you won't break up. Then you'll end up having a happy life with the girl you really care about.
It won't be a happy life even if we do make it to the point of marriage.
Why not?
We argue too much…way too much to be a happy couple.
Then don't 'argue'. Discuss instead. Arguments involve yelling. Discussions involve talking through a problem or disagreement.
We always end up yelling. There is no way one of us wouldn't be able to not yell.
How do you know unless you try? I mean, if she starts yelling first, calm her down. If you feel the need to yell, then just take one really deep breath.
Like that will work.
I don't seem to remember you trying it out to see if it works or not!
Fine. Whatever.
But now, back to how you feel about Hermione.
I only feel emotions directly related to friendship.
That's what you think. You know that deep, calming feeling you get just seeing her read a book on the couch in front of the fire in winter, snow falling outside?
Yes… it is a peaceful sight.
Maybe you are just imagining curling up right next to her, holding her in your arms, speaking words of comfort and love…
No. I can't imagine that.
Yes you can. More than you can admit to yourself. You know how she just watches the Quidditch games, cheering you on with all of her effort?
Yeah, and? She's my best friend; of course she'll cheer me on.
You really like the fact she does. You like having her cheer you on. You want to do the best you can just so she'll keep cheering. You get nervous about the games because she is there, watching them. You don't want to mess up and lose her support.
I get nervous because people are watching me in general.No. You get nervous because she is watching. You make your best plays when her eyes are on something else, and she misses them.
That isn't true! I made that one really wicked play…
Once. You nearly fell off your broom trying to keep one Quaffle from getting into the hoop, and you ended up saving that one and another one that was about to fly in right after it.
Oh, yeah. But it was still a good play in front of Hermione.
-deep sigh- Right. Anyways, you know how she always is the first to raise her hand in class?
How could I not?
You secretly marvel at that. You feel amazed. You feel dare I say it…
DARE YOU SAY WHAT, EXACTLY?
Turned on…
There is no way I am turned on by that!
Every aspect of her turns you on, really. I just thought I would give you a few examples.
How do you know the things even I don't know, then?
Because, I'm like… your inner voice. You can just consider me a voice inside your head that tells you exactly what you are feeling before you feel it.
Now that is just creepy. How long until I feel these feelings, oh powerful voice of the future?
No need to be sarcastic, Ron.

"Ron?" Hermione said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "What?" I said, jumping up about half a foot. "I just wanted to know if you wanted to play a game of chess," she said simply. "Oh. Sure, why not," I said. I sat my book beside me, and walked over to the table Hermione had the chess game set up at.

Just wait, Ron…
Oh, shut up. I'm about to play a game of chess with Hermione. Leave me alone.
Right. Sorry.

I ended up losing the chess game. My mind was on something besides the chess game, after all… I was still wondering if I like Hermione. The clock chimed midnight, and Hermione said, "I'd better get to sleep… We have a busy day tomorrow…" "Yeah… Good night, 'Mione," I replied. "Night. Oh, and don't stay up too late," said Hermione as she climbed the stairs and stretched.

Wow…

Wow, what?
I don't know… just wow.
Wow… she's great? Wow… she's amazing? Wow… the powerful voice of the future was right?
Wow I-don't-know-where-the-hell-the-wow-came-from.
Nice. Anyways, back to her…
Hermione? Why are you so insistent on her?
Yes, and I am trying to get you to realize your feelings.
Why can't you just get me to realize the correct answer on a test, homework, or class work?
Because this is more important! This is a matter of your life!
So I'm going to die unless I declare undying love to Hermione?
I said your life, as in the happiness of your life. Not life and death, in which yes, you would die without her. But you can live without her…
So, shut up.
Let me finish, Ron.
Sorry.
But you can live without her, just an unhappy life in which you'll never get your true love.
Thanks for that.
No problem.
I was being sarcastic!
Whatever. But still, think about Hermione for a second here.
Okay…
What do you think about her?
…About how caring, courageous, and brilliant she is.
Consider all different parts for a second. Describe them.
Well, she is nice to everyone else, even if they don't deserve it or she is the only one being nice to them. The way she is with little kids and house elves.
There you go! Now lets do courageous.
She's stuck with Harry and me through all these years, even though at first, we were really mean to her. She is just as brave as either one of us, and isn't afraid to show it. She is right by our side through thick and thin, even if we don't deserve it.
Last one: brilliant.
She is smart and amazing in all of the subjects. Okay, except Divination, but we all think that subject is for loonies. She can think quickly, and she thinks of everything. Without Hermione, we'd be…dead, really. We need her. I need her.
So… does this mean?
Does this mean I love her?
You certainly care for her, need her, and don't want her hurt.
Maybe I like her.
You have for years, Ron.
Okay, that's all you need me for. I'm going now, bye!
Good riddance.

A/N: Sorry this chapter was kinda short... not to mention it pretty much copied from the book where Harry argues with himself. Anyways, R&R!