Chapter Ten

Sorting It Out

Thirty minutes later, and after much persuasion from Will, Jordan found herself sitting across from Woody at an Italian restaurant down the street. After she had returned to the room from a brief conference with Dr. Sullivan concerning Will's tests, both of the men in the hospital room had told her in no uncertain terms she was going out to dinner before she bunked down in Will's hospital room for the night.

And protesting did her no good. Woody had firmly taken her by the arm and led her out the door, muttering under his breath as they walked down the hall, "I promised our son I'd take his mother out for decent meal so he wouldn't worry. So … for your son's sake…just eat."

Jordan had pressed her lips together firmly, promising herself that she wouldn't say a word right now that Will could possibly over hear. But…when they were out of sight, Woody was going to get an earful. She turned to him in the elevator when they were alone, getting ready to blast him with both barrels, but Woody completely disarmed her as he said, "You've done a great job with Will, Jordan. No one could have done better. He's polite...smart…considerate….and he worries like hell about you. You know that, don't you?"

"I…I know. I tell him not to…I'm fine," she replied twisting her fingers together.

"And he listens about as well as you do." Woody sighed and rubbed the back of his neck as the elevator doors opened. "We have a hell of a lot of sorting out to do."

"Can't it wait until Will is out of the hospital?"

"No… I want to know now, Jordan. You've kept the truth from me for sixteen years. I deserve to know tonight….everything…have all my questions answered."

Jordan nodded and they walked in silence around the corner from the hospital into the restaurant. After they had ordered and the waiter brought their salads and drinks, Woody took a long pull off his beer and asked one simple question. "Why?"

"Why didn't I tell you?"

He nodded and looked deep into her eyes. "Why…everything. And start from the beginning."

Jordan took a deep breath to steady her nerves. "After….after…that night…" her voice wavered.

"The night we slept together…and Will was conceived?"

"Yeah. I didn't see you again and the next week, you were gone to San Diego. Do you remember what you told me?"

"No contact. It would be better for both of us. But I didn't mean …."

"Well, I didn't know that. And hind sight is twenty-twenty, Woody. After the fight we had … before you left…and then after what you said that night, especially after I told you that I loved you…" Jordan broke off then and looked away to gather her thoughts.

The fight. Woody remembered. He never forgot it. The tension had been building for weeks after he had gotten out of the hospital.

After the swelling had gone down in his spinal column, his nerves began to unfurl, and through a series of modern medical triumphs, he found himself walking again…out of the hospital and out of her life. But Jordan had been reluctant to let him go. "I mean what I said, Woody. I do love you. I do. Please…"

He had let her pleas go unheeded and unheard. He had hardened his heart against her and was determined to go on with his life without her. He dated. Lots of women. Particularly women he knew that she knew…so that word would get back to her. He had wanted Jordan Cavanaugh to hurt as badly as he did.

He wanted to know he was the man that broke her heart…It was cruel. It was petty and childish and hurtful…but that had been what he wanted. Every man she had been linked with romantically had his emotions plowed under by her. Woody wanted to be the one to go against the flow.

He wanted to be the one that Jordan pined after, but couldn't have.

And from the sometimes hurt-filled looks she had cast his way, he knew he was being successful. It was these actions that led up to the argument they had about six weeks before that night in his apartment. He had a date…with a pretty assistant DA he knew Jordan disliked. He took the young lady out for drinks…to a bar he knew that Jordan and her friends frequently went to.

And that particular night, he shot and scored. Jordan was there. Woody played it up…slow dancing with his date the same way he and Jordan used to. And he had to give Jordan credit. She took it a lot longer than he would have. But somewhere between Woody's ordering another beer and dropping some coins in the juke box, Jordan had quietly paid her tab and slipped out into the cold Boston night before he registered she was gone.

Suddenly his date became a lot less attractive. He got the lady home as soon as politely possible. He had expected some sort of reaction out of Jordan….but not a disappearing act. And she really did seem to disappear. He didn't see her for a couple of weeks. Garret said she took a few days off to go out of town – she had some decisions to make.

Woody had feared she was getting ready to leave Boston…not that it should really matter to him. By that time he had already procured his job in San Diego. But Boston was her town…her safety net. Somehow, no matter how badly he felt he had been treated by her, he didn't want Jordan to feel she had to leave her home. So when he cornered her in her office one night after hours after she returned, he was going to tell her….he was leaving. Things would be easier for her.

She never gave him a chance. "Don't start with me," she warned. "Don't even go there, Farm Boy. You don't want me? You don't think I love you—that what I feel for you is pity? Then that's your loss. Just leave me alone. Period. You don't want to have any relationship with me….then I've got a newsflash, Wood…It's over. So you don't have to parade your girlfriends in front of me to prove your point."

"Jordan…it's not that…."

"No. It's over. You're right. We'd end up killing each other inside a week. I don't know why I even wasted my time…"

Woody had felt the frustration reach a boiling point in him then. "And I don't know why I wasted four years of my life pining over a woman who has the warmth of an iceberg, either. And the decision making capabilities of a three year-old. And forget a relationship with a man… she can't even stay on good terms with her own father…" Her sharp intake of breath made him realized he had just fired the ultimate lob that broke her heart and severed any relationship they might have maintained.

It was also that statement that brought a stinging slap to the side of his face. Her handprint remained visible on his check for an hour.

It was on his heart a lot longer. And his heart got slapped again a few days later when he saw Jordan and Jason at the coffee shop and she had casually introduced Woody to Jason as "one of the detectives I work with." Not a friend. Not an acquaintance. A fellow state employee….like all they ever had in common was the proverbial office gossip over the proverbial water cooler. And this time, the bruise she caused on his heart cut deeper. Jordan may have pushed him away before -- time and time again. But she had never pushed him away to find another man.

This time it was different. He could tell by the way Jason was looking at her – he thought the sun rose and set in Jordan. And Jordan appreciated the attention – soaking it up like a sponge.

In hindsight, Woody blamed himself for her action. Like a couple that had been married too long, he had begun to take Jordan for granted. He had always assumed, that after he had dated around a while, he would have taught her a lesson and could return to her. And she would take him back. She might fight it for a while.., and definitely make him grovel…but they'd end up back together. He had taken for granted that she would always be there for him to fall back on…even if he was in San Diego.

Seeing Jason kiss her good-bye outside the coffee shop had made him rethink that idea. He had taken Jordan for granted too long. She was getting on with her life. And so they had parted that day. Him with his Carmel Macchiato, and her with Jason. Until that night when her truck broke down, they didn't see or speak to each other.

"So…when did you find out you were pregnant?" he asked gruffly.

"About six weeks after you left."

"And it never occurred to you to call me?"

"Not…not after what you said."

"Obviously Jason knew…he let Will take his name…."

Jordan nodded. "I told Jason what happened. I had to. I figured he'd run for the hills, just like all the other men in my life. Instead…he took me in his arms and kissed me…said that it was okay. He'd take care of Will and I didn't have to tell you unless I wanted to. He asked me to marry him. And since he was the only man that had treated me decently … and I wanted my son to have a family…I said yes. We flew to Vegas the next weekend and were married in the same wedding chapel Elvis and Priscilla got married in." Her mouth quirked up at the corners, remembering how it happened. "Then…when we got home….Jason had to leave and go back to Iraq." Her head lowered as she fought to regain her composure. "He was gone about a year. He couldn't even come home when Will was born."

"But he knew Will was my son?"

"He knew. And it didn't matter. Jason had the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known…except maybe our son." Jordan was struggling to keep the tears out of her voice and eyes.

Woody noticed. "So…what happened then, Jo?" he gently prompted.

"Will's pregnancy wasn't easy…I nearly lost him twice. He was born a couple of months early…with the whole slate of premature side effects….respiratory problems….possible heart, hearing, and sight problems. He was on a ventilator…oxygen. We worried about brain damage…" Jordan sighed and suddenly looked older than her years. It was only then Woody realized just how hard it must have been on her to carry Will by herself. "He came home on a monitor….it was touch and go for a while. Fortunately….once Dad caught one glimpse of his grandson, he never left Boston again. For a while, we lived with him. Then Jason made arrangements for us to move into our own place on Ward Street….good schools…near church…" Jordan twisted her fingers together again. "Then….when Will was about six months old…I got word that Jason was killed in the line of duty in Iraq. They said….they told me he died a hero." Jordan stopped then and bit out a bitter laugh. "He was a hero before then…a hero to me.

"Anyway," she continued, shaking her head…."I thought about telling you then…but Will still was pretty sick…and I was a widow…I knew you would think it was the classic set up…something to trap you into protecting me one more time even though DNA would back me up, and it wasn't a trap, it was the truth. So Dad and Garret told me to wait…"

"They knew …"

Jordan nodded. "I told Garret first….after I found out I was pregnant. He stood by me the whole time…before Dad came home and after. That's why he's Will's godfather. I told dad after Jason died."

"And Max didn't want me to know?"

"Given the circumstances, no. He thought you may still need sometime to cool off. And Will needed to get better. So I kept my mouth shut. And waited for the right time…"

"Which never came," Woody said flatly, stating the obvious.

"It wasn't like that…honestly. It's just working full time and raising a child takes a lot of time. And then Dad got sick…heart condition. So I had to deal with Will and Dad. And work….

"I know it's no excuse. And you're right…I should have told you earlier….but after a while it didn't seem to matter. From what I could find out, you were living the good life in California. You were successful…and the last I heard, engaged to some model. I didn't want to disrupt that with a phone call telling you, 'Oh, by the way, Wood, before you get all comfy cozy with your new wife and your own family, there's this little detail back in Boston you need to take care of'. I didn't want you to put your life on hold again for me. You did for four years before you left…and I didn't want to ask you to do that again."

Woody turned his beer bottle around in circles by the neck. "I would have helped out, Jordan."

"And what? Demanded joint custody in return? Fought to have Will taken away from me? Given what you thought about me before you left, you'd probably have me declared an unfit parent and have Will taken away," Jordan blurted out, her real fears showing through her bitterness.

"No…I just would want time with my son…and to help raise him…in everyway. I wouldn't take him away from you…"

"Really?"

"Really. I would have taken care of him…and you."

"Me?"

"I would have married you, Jo."

Jordan shook her head. "No. It would have never worked. I was never good enough for you."