Summary: From Zabini's adoring (or sometimes not so adoring) and curious "fans"...Read at your own risk. Contains demented llamas, bananas in the sky, and Boston cream pies.
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter, and all characters from Harry Potter books are the property of J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., Bloomsbury books, yadda yadda oh I don't know I DON'T OWN ANYTHING (other than the letters.)
A/N: Muahaha, my first fanfic! I decided to start with a one-shot with some humor. Be warned, some stuff may be rather, er, gross. Anywhoozumbles, I hope you like it. Constructive critism is welcomed. Enjoy!
Dear Zabini,
Are you a girl or a boy? All these fanfics are messing up my brain.
-- Confuzzled
Dear Confuzzled,
Right now I am highly offended. DOY I'mabloody BOY. I don't care if my name sounds like a girl's, blame it on my freakin mom.
-- Blaise
Dear Blaise,
Are you Greek, Italian, or African American (British)?
-- Wondering
Dear Wondering,
I'm none of the above. I'm an alien from outer space here to take over the world and steal all your pizzas. I have arrived with an army of demented llamas, so BACK OFF. Muahaha! (A/N: If you've read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Blaise is described as a MALE African American- Er, British?)
-- Blaise
O Great Hawt One,
My name's Gary. Will you meet me at Hogsmeade to have a romantic dinner at the Three Broomsticks?
-- In Lurrrrve
Dear Perverted one,
Please tell me you are joking. By the way, Three Broomsticks is a freakinbar for the love of God. Pssssh.
-- Blaise
To Mr. Blaise Zabini:
You have been cordially invited to the convention of Strike Against Bananas in the Sky (S.A.B.S.). Please come to 64 Boston Cream Pie Ave. Badger Badger, Badger, 00000 by 3:50 PM. We advise you bring a banana smasher and some ketchup. Thank you! (RSVP: Infinite)
-- Jung Kee, President of S.A.B.S.
To Jung Kee,
What did I eat last night? I had a dream that I got a letter from someone that...that...errrgh I need coffee...One ice caramel macchiato to go, please!
-- Blaise
Dear Blaise,
Will you ever hook up with Ginny Weasly?
-- Someone-who-reads-too-much-fanfic
Dear Someone,
Spits out coffee from shock WHAT! starts choking and cannot finish the reply
-- B-Blaise
Zabini Zabini-
Wouldja like a panini?
-- Weird witch
Weird Witch Weird Witch-
No I want a sandwich! (Great,now I'm actually stooping down to your pitiful level by playing the stupid game. Fan mail does something to you, I swear.)
-- Blaise
Blaise,
Can I have my pink floral teapot back? Pwetty pweeze? With cherries on top? I need it for my tea party with Crabbe and Goyle on Saturday...
-- Lots of love, Draco Malfoy.
Draco.
No you can't have it back, not after you gave Pansy a concussion because she called you a sissy (which you are). And quit trying to hit on me; you father obsessing over Professor Snape is bad enough!
-- No love at all, Blaise
To the sarcastic, sneering, arrogant prat:
I hate you. I hate you I hate you I hate you! Die die die! Why must you contaminate the halls of Hogwarts with your filthy slimy snake!
-- Die You Idiot
To Die,
Awww, I love you too. So nice to hear that someone loves me! I'll be sure to send you lots of chocolate on V-day. snorts at own sarcasm
-- Blaise
Blaise Zabini--
If you don't kill that stupid little git Harry Potter this INSTANT I will hit you with my bag! And it's not just a bag, it's Prada.
-- Voldy-poopiku- Er, Lord Voldermort, The Dark Lord, the One Who All Men Fear! NYA NYA!
Lord Voldermort,
blinks Whaaaaa?
-- Blaise
A/N: Ok, ok. Short and erm...crappy. Hey, this is my first try and erm I just did this as a whim:D Please review muah
Oh yeah, the line "it's not just a bag, it's Prada." is from White Chicks. Not mine, I cry! (And maybe I got the line a bit wrong...who cares.)