DISCLAIMER: As before, all characters and specialised words etc, relating to the characters used are owned and credited to CLAMP. Certain images and events are also credited to CLAMP. However, the interpretation of events and the story that follows is written by sakurazukamori. Enjoi, R/R.

.:Chapter 5 – Alchemy:.

"Only those who know their own darkness and keep it in mind are a match for the malice of the world and the malice of the demons of the unconscious."

Love bade me welcome…

…come…

…yet my soul drew back…

…come to me…

…Guilty of Lust and Sin.

…Subaru-kun.

The Sumeragi's right hand fell to the floor, bloody and shaking. Lines of scarlet caressed each one of his narrow fingers neatly pooling in between each of his knuckles. This was all he had, this and a thousand terrible memories each one masked underneath the epitome of natural perfection. His sister had gone, he had gone – he was once more alone.

Alone.

…yes.

Alone, just like he had been seven years ago. His sister was dead and her murderer vanished, vanished before his very eyes. He could not let them both disappear again, he couldn't be alone anymore. Subaru held his head in his hands, his mind swimming with a thousand thoughts and feelings. Hate warred with Love whilst Anger raged against Pain. Nothing was simple anymore; everything just seemed to be in turmoil – endless turmoil.

Confliction.

"Where are you?" whispered the onmyouji softly. "Where? Seishiro…"

His dry, cracked lips began to moisten with the tears that traced the pink curvature of his mouth. The tears felt warm against his cold lips, but it was an undesirable warmth – an artificial warmth that could be removed with the wipe of a hand or a gust of wind.

Imitation.

Nothing seemed real to the onmyouji anymore; this illusion was not real. Did this mean that his feelings had become unreal too?

"No," moaned the Sumeragi.

No.

…no?

The defiance of this word lingered on his lips. He felt its insolence creep into every pore, filling him with the desire to make his existence a reality once more. Shakily, he rose to his feet his knees threatening to buckle beneath him once again. He drew himself up stiffening his weakening posture, rigidly placing his blood-splattered hands by his white-clad sides. The only action that broke his tenacity was the tears that rapidly traced the contours of his angular face.

"Where are you Seishiro-san?" pleaded the onmyouji, his voice tinged with desperation.

"You should know by now, Subaru-kun," whispered a dark, menacing voice, seemingly from behind where the Sumeragi stood. "I'm everywhere you are."

…you are…

…you are…

The whispering echoes flew about the illusion resounding against the invisible walls. Subaru felt his chest tighten and his heart constrict as if the whispers themselves were invisible bonds, choking the very life out of him. He felt the presence of the sakurazukamori growing not only around him, but also inside of him – he could feel the darkness of the Blossom Star slithering, coiling about his heart. The voice Subaru knew to be his – the mocking, seductive tone that had haunted the onmyouji's boyhood days and nights, the voice that haunted him still. Turning to face the direction of the voice, he was greeted with a violent whirlwind of pink and purple.

His mouth fell open and his eyes bulged from beneath their tear-swollen lids as he attempted to comprehend what was happening before his very eyes.

It can't be…

…no.

The whirlwind of petals seemed to take shape becoming the form of a human. They were… transforming. It was as if some unforeseen force were coercing them to become one single entity – an embodiment of the blossom itself. Subaru could clearly discern the formation of a long slender hand as hundreds of petals fluttered together forming the tapered fingers, embellished with mirror-like nails. Torrents of pallid petals were being drawn from before the Sumeragi's eyes to form the long extensions of suit-enfolded arms, whilst the scarlet-smeared petals on the ground beneath the Sumeragi began to fly up as if unknowingly summoned to shape the muscular black-clad legs of the blossom's creation.

He knew.

He knew that the entity being born from the blossom was him – his loveyet it still did not stop the young onmyouji pleading it not to be so. His brow knitted in disbelief whilst his eyes remained fixed on the frightful manifestation that unfolded before him.

Horrible. It's just too… horrible

He watched as the petals hungrily poured into the hollow of the Blossom Star's chest cavity.

He watched through tear-glazed eyes as the petals wove a fitted black suit about his supple frame, completed by the trademark pair of glasses loosely hanging from the suit pocket.

Subaru's face remained aghast as a further surge of pure white blossom began to shape the gracefully slender neck of the sakurazukamori, carving out each groove, each tendon from thin air. Flurries of tainted blossom whisked up his silken neck, beginning to sculpt out the chiselled jaw of the Sakurazuka creeping up to mould the cut-glass cheekbones that adorned the assassin's face.

Each time the blossom climbed further up the face of the sakurazukamori, Subaru felt his heart miss a beat. Each heartbeat pounded with fear, knocking against his chest.

And then he saw them…

...two lone sakura petals, one of deathly white the other drenched in blood effortlessly settling into the eyeless sockets forming the intimidating mismatched eyes that pierced through the onmyouji's very being.

"Finally we meet, Subaru-kun," whispered the assassin, his flushed lips pronouncing each syllable with such cold-hearted precision that they cut through the stagnant air like a knife.

A venomous grin flashed across his lips as his eyes beheld the white-clad youth that stood before him trembling. He allowed his eyes to run up and down the onmyouji's supple frame taking in every last detail; the way his collarbone protruded from beneath his overcoat, how his neck flushed each time he felt the assassin's eyes on him. He observed the rise and fall of the Sumeragi's chest growing deeper and faster with renewed fear...

Fear or Desire Subaru-kun?

He couldn't help but smile as his mismatched eyes fell upon the tear stained face of the boy in front of him.

Hmm, to know that I am the cause…

His eyes stared deeply into the vacant emerald pools, searching…

"Cute," he murmured, as he watched a lone tear trickle down the sharp cheekbones of the Sumeragi's face.

Subaru closed his eyes not only in disgrace, but in fear of revealing the true feelings that lurked within him – feelings that should not be felt for such a man, feelings that made him physically ache with carnality inside. He was overwhelmed with silent anger, but also something else. A far stronger emotion gripped him forcing him to open his eyes, to look at the one person he both hated yet desired. His gaze fell upon the piercing white and amber stare of the man standing in front of him. The urge to look away from that penetrative gaze was great, but the urge to search the depths of those eyes for a semblance of emotion was greater.

For every second that passed between the two, Subaru's tears renewed themselves, as any hope of finding emotion amidst the Blossom Star's soulless eyes became a futile quest.

"How very cute indeed," the assassin whispered once more, this time he gently brought his willowy hand up to the onmyouji's face, softly cupping it in his palm

Subaru winced drawing in a deep breath, shuddering as the gentle touch of the assassin brushed across his cheekbone wiping away the tears that spilled from his eyes. His eyes lulled shut as Seishiro slowly withdrew his hand from the young onmyouji's face, removing a glistening trail of tears that settled on the tip of his thumb.

The assassin watched as the onmyouji calmly closed his eyes. He smiled internally knowing how much power he still held over the boy that stood before him.

He still saw him as just that… a boy – untainted, guiltless, but he alone still held the power to corrupt him, defile him yet the corruption had already begun, it had begun years ago. Laughing softly, he watched how the same tears that fell from Subaru's angular face before him were the same as the ones that fell on that fateful day when the Sumeragi was just a child; he could still remember the young onmyouji's tears mingling with the rain as they both stood beneath the ever-increasing shadow of the Barrow.

Seishiro felt the calling of the Barrow rise up in his soul, breaking into his mind and bringing him back to reality.

He found his reality running down the side of his etiolated thumb, gathering in the crease between thumb and finger. The tears had grown cold, so cold. It reminded him of his own reality, his own existence: cold, emotionless… empty.

Subaru watched the assassin through partially shrouded eyes, noticing how he continued to stare intently at the tears that moistened his thumb. He watched as Seishiro's eyes opened and closed slowly, mechanically, as if something were controlling them. He saw the occasionally flash of amber and piercing of white. Instantly, the onmyouji was thrown back into the past once more…

…sent back to the hospital…

…the hospital where his life was saved…

…saved by the very man that wished to kill him.

Subaru replayed the incident over and over again, he watched as Seishiro was struck, blinded whilst protecting him. He witnessed the crimson and grey matter gushing from where the knife tore through the warm amber of his adversary's eye spilling its contents down the side of his ashen face. The youth grimaced as he saw the sultry amber metamorphose into a desolate white before his eyes.

"You know Subaru-kun? You are too kind," spoke the assassin with an alarming sense of sincerity that caused the onmyouji's eyes to flicker open in disbelief.

Subaru watched the assassin as he spoke, observing the way his eyes were transfixed on the evaporating tears that clung to his skin. The onmyouji blushed realising that maybe a part of him had finally brought a glimpse of sincerity to the assassin's life.

"But your kindliness will be your downfall," continued the Blossom Star, refocusing his stare smiling as he saw the youth's hopes crumbling, "Subaru-kun."

Nearly there teehee I had a weird feeling about this chapter, but looks like it might be ok. I guess now you've read it, it wouldn't hurt to give me a little review – I just like to know if I'm doing ok. Now, onwards!