Title: Downfall
Type: 7th Heaven Fan Fiction
Rating: PG-13 (Sex, Alcohol, possible drug content)
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of 7th Heaven. I do own all my original characters and this story, though. Don't take.
Summary: Tragedy strikes Lucy and Kevin, who then must decide what to do with their lives.

Notes: Sorry it took so long, been busy with school. But I'll be updating again soon if you keep reviewing. ;)

Downfall

Chapter Eighteen: Mourning the Sunlight

Kevin quickly folded the last shirt into his suitcase, which was stuffed. Amelia sat on his bed, watching. She wanted desperately to go with him, but knew that it would never work out between them.

"I'm sorry that I loved you," Amelia apologized, her voice low. Kevin glanced at her, but quickly turned his attention back to the suitcase. He closed it, then sat it on the ground. Amelia watched him continually and tears fell down from her eyes to the sheets on the bed, which was unmade.

"I'm sorry too," Kevin replied, "And I'm sorry that all I wanted was something physical. It was wrong and all I did was hurt everyone. I'm sorry for leading you on. I'm sorry for lying to Lucy and Nichol. I'm sorry about the baby." He stroked her face and she kissed his hand. She still had feelings for him, but everything was all wrong. Lucy and Nichol were in the other room. If this was a fantasy world or if this was on television, nothing would be able to stop them. There would be spouses in the other room. There would be no more tears. He would whisk her off of her feet and carry her to somewhere far away. Somewhere beautiful.

She hadn't loved him from the beginning, but had fallen into an obsession a month or two following their introduction. When she realized that she loved him, he was leaving the public restroom at the pool hall. The light caught the reflection of his eye and the smirk in his smile. She could suddenly see the life she always wanted that Nichol couldn't give her. He smiled when he saw her, but she only stared. She watched him find Lucy, kiss her, then leave with her. They were happy. Happiness is something that she hadn't felt with Nichol in a year. That's when she decided that she needed Kevin to be happy. Apparently, she was wrong.

Amelia continued to watch Kevin as he finished gathering his stuff. It's funny how a simple attraction could go so terribly wrong, but this one did. Maybe her mind was undeveloped. Maybe she was still young. Amelia wasn't sure, but she knew that she'd never love again. If she did, she'd never be committed. What if this happened again?

Kevin remembered the first brush of attraction he felt with Amelia. It was on a Sunday night at Pete's Pizza. He was eating dinner with Nichol after they'd just met at the station. Detective Michaels had introduced them, they'd shaken hands, then agreed to meet for pizza. Nichol had told him about his beautiful wife. She arrived to pick him up and met Kevin. Nichol had been right; she was beautiful. At the time, Amelia's hair was short and streaked with red and blonde highlights. She wore a white spaghetti strap that showed entirely too much cleavage, but Kevin was almost thankful for it. Her skirt was denim and came to just above the knee. She wore navy blue pantyhose and penny loafers. It was such an odd choice of clothing that Kevin almost fell in love with her at that moment. When she smiled at him, he felt warm inside. He hadn't felt that with Lucy.

Amelia was the best thing that ever happened to him, but also the worst. If it hadn't been for his wife and her husband, it wouldn't have taken long for a relationship to develop based solely upon physical appearance instead of truth and love. Kevin figured that's where everything went wrong. If he hadn't had such a desire to sleep with Amelia, everything would be ok. He didn't love her, but he knew she loved him. The tears were so real and it cut through his heart that he didn't have the same, salty tears. He needed to say the words. "I wasn't really in love with you." He couldn't. It was too hard. Instead, he continued to ignore her. It was the best thing, really.

Lucy sat at the kitchen table, staring at Nichol. He stared back. The cigarette smoke floated to the ceiling and disappeared. Nichol stretched his hand across the table and Lucy took it. They knew that they didn't have very much more time together. Lucy was going back to Glen Oak; Nichol was boarding a plane to God knows where.

Nichol never acted upon his feelings for Lucy. At least, not in the beginning. He knew she was beautiful from the moment he saw her, but he hated her personality. She grew on him, though, and by the time Gabriella entered the world, he loved her as a friend. He loved Gabriella. She was a beautiful child that looked just like her mother and father. He spent time with Lucy and Kevin, but never loved her until the day she came to him at the promenade.

She'd come up to him and teased him and acted like they'd known each other since high school. Sure, they'd become good friends over the past few months, but he'd never even considered her attractive until then. That's when he realized that she might just be the love he'd been waiting for. She might bridge the gap that Amelia made in his heart.

Lucy didn't fall in love with Nichol until the night that they found out about the affair. She hated to admit it, but that's how it happened. She saw Nichol's heart break and tears flow out of his eyes. She realized how sensitive he was and she urgently wanted to make love with him. They did, another regret, but Lucy felt true love. But how can you know if it's real? She'd felt love so many times in her young life that she didn't know if these feelings were love or attraction. She fell in love with Kevin, but were these the same feelings now, with Nichol?

As she looked into his deep, sad eyes, tears rolled out of hers. It was all she could do to keep her head up. The past two weeks had completely drained her senses.

"I don't know if I can live without you," Lucy admitted. Nichol had explained earlier that he had to disappear for awhile, but Lucy wasn't sure she could handle it.

"I love you," Nichol whispered. He stood and walked to her, put his hands on her shoulders for support. He turned his head to hers and kissed her deeply. Their tongues intersected and became like a poetry of heartbreak and loss.

When he pulled out of the kiss, he placed his face on her shoulder, where he wept. Short breaths came from his mouth and tears wet Lucy's shoulder, but she didn't notice. Her sense of touch had been deadened for awhile now. She took a sip of her coffee, tried to gain her composure. It didn't work. They were being broken up. The elite four were to be no more.

Kevin entered the kitchen, his suitcase in hand. He looked dressed for success, with memories weighing on his mind. He glanced at Lucy and Nichol, but thought nothing of hatred toward either of them. In fact, he couldn't blame them for the emotions they were portraying. He almost hated himself for being the only one to keep everything inside. Like a preprogrammed robot. He didn't want to be like that, but couldn't bring himself to cry. He dropped his suitcase and joined them at the table, but said nothing.

Amelia entered next. It was easy to see that she was an emotional wreck. Tears flowed freely, snot covered her nose, moans and cries escaped her voice. Her clothes consisted of flowered sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt that would be too big for even Kevin. Instead of sitting at the table, she slid to the floor beside Lucy and Nichol. They turned to her and offered fake smiles of hope.

"I'm so sorry," Amelia began, barely audible, "For ruining my marriage. For ruining your lives."

"You don't have to apologize anymore," Lucy assured her. Nichol nodded.

"We know you made a mistake," He agreed, "And I thank you for realizing and admitting it. Don't lose yourself over it. I'll always love you, and we'll always have a lot of great memories. Right?" Amelia nodded.

"Yeah, I guess," She agreed, "But I'll always look back on this and remember that it was my fault. Never blame yourself. Never. Nothing was your fault. I know it'll be hard for you guys to move on, but try. I'd hate to have been the one to ruin everything."

"It's kind of too late," Lucy stated, "But it's not the end of the world. It only seems like it." The three came into a hug on the floor. All three shed tears. Kevin glanced at them and reluctantly joined in.

"I am so sorry, Lucy. Nichol, I'm sorry," Kevin admitted, "I'm so sorry to both of you. This sucks so much, but you can get through it. We all can." He finally cried.