Title: In the Twilight
Author/Artist: szabotage
Pairing: Kureno/Arisa
Fandom: Fruits Basket
Theme: #4 Our Distance and That Person

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Takaya Natsuki, her publishers and distributors. This is a work of fanfiction and no profit is being made save that of profit.

Spoilers: Some spoilers for later Furuba chapters.

The Souma house is full of mysteries. I myself am one of them. But now it seems I have a secret of my own. The window is open to the deepening twilight and from one of the houses across the garden I can hear the winsome sound of a violin, its melody echoing the longing in my heart. My fingers work the scrap of paper that girl has given me. Akito was right. Tohru Honda is dangerous.

As I return back to my desk and my duties, I notice that the button is missing from my favorite shirt. I suppose that I could get one of the servants to fix it quite easily, but I haven't had it done. It's a small thing, a silly thing, really. But it reminds me of that day and of Her and of my secret.

It was all so unexpected, that day. Akito likes me to stay close at hand, so there is rarely any variety in my schedule. But she had a physical scheduled for that day and Hatori would be in attendance. So I suddenly had a day to myself, a small moment of freedom. I'm not sure, but I wonder if Hatori suggested the idea. I can't say I know him very well, but I remember when we were boys that he seemed like a very kind person, much nicer than Ayame, who cared little about other people's feelings, or Shigure, who could not be trusted.

I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I wanted to go out, away from the family compound, that much was certain, but then what? This is always my dilemma when I have free time. I know very few people outside of our family, and Akito doesn't like me dealing much within the family. She's being over-protective, but that was always her nature. I've been able to bear the solitude quite cheerfully, I think, but when my time is my own, I find myself drawn outside to the noise and bustle of the city streets. I can never really be a part of that world, but at least I can walk among them, the normal people, and for a while feel like one of them.

I remember feeling a little bit spoiled as I walked out of the gate. Only ten days before I'd been sent out on a mission. Despite her fragile health, Akito has a taste for snacks. It seems Hatori finally got tired of having to come in after one of Akito's sugar-binges and told the kitchen staff to throw out or give away the house supply of sweets. Akito was livid when she found out. Not trusting the servants, she let me go out, very late that evening, to replenish the larder. I had no idea what I was doing and made a great fool of myself in front of the very pretty store clerk, who laughed at me as she helped me put my purchases in a basket. I didn't mind, though. She had a lovely laugh and a sweet smile. I've dreamt of that smile often since then.

Who could have thought it? Who could have known? Her smile was my secret.

I'll admit I went by the convenience store, hoping to see that smile again, but a furtive glance through the window only provided a male clerk. I laughed at myself then and kept walking. Some things are best kept to dreams.

I enjoyed pacing up and down the streets. The day was getting hot, but there were still all kinds of people around. Sometimes, I would watch them—the man in the business suit, talking rapidly into his cell phone as he raced to some important meeting; a group of housewives strolling together, gossiping, their arms full of groceries; children running, playing, laughing. I could close my eyes and listen to that joyous cacophony surrounding me. It was life, real life, and for a moment I was part of it.

The day was steamy. A haze was growing over the city. I hadn't expected to go out, so I was not really dressed for the weather. No matter how warm the day may be, the houses on the Souma estate stay fairly cool, especially the main house. Because of her delicate health, poor Akito can't tolerate the heat. I wasn't used to it, but it felt good. I could feel the sweat starting, my shirt sticking a little to my skin.

I was startled when a sudden tug pulled me backwards. The button popped off my shirt then, falling unnoticed to the ground. A brief wave of fear hit me, and I turned, apprehensive, to see who had grabbed me.

She smiled then, her sweet smile. It was her. The pretty clerk from the convenience store.

I was surprised, naturally. What you want and what you expect are often two very different things, and I certainly hadn't expected to meet her again. She was panting—she'd evidently run after me for a couple of blocks. I'd heard someone calling, but didn't think they were referring to me. It was charming, watching her smile and laugh and try to catch her breath all at the same time.

She still had her hair tied back. I wondered fleetingly what it would look like unbound. It was blonde in a way that couldn't be natural, but it looked good on her. She was wearing some kind of uniform, complete with an apron and a very short skirt that showed off her legs quite nicely.

Somehow, I found myself asking her to join me for lunch. Perhaps it was wrong of me, but I thought it would be harmless. This was my day of freedom, and this girl, who ran and cursed and laughed so unselfconsciously, represented everything I loved about being "outside". Akito need never know.

The meal started out well enough. Her name was Arisa Uotani, she was 17 years old, and seemed to be quite a hard worker, holding down two jobs as well as going to high school. She didn't complain or boast about it, either, which impressed me. The world is as the world is. She was in turns vibrant and shy, but she had an air of courage about her that was very admirable.

It was when I spoke of myself that things went awry. What little I could say about my life seemed to surprise her, and at some point, my words made her angry. She stood, shouted at me and then left the table, deaf to the whispers around us.

I sat there for a moment in shock. No one had ever told me my smile was sad or my words inappropriate. Even Akito usually spares me the unthinking cruelty she visits on the others. But she didn't even hesitate to say what she thought. She was open and honest and so very beautiful…and willing to walk away.

I think perhaps that was the moment when I fell in love with her.

I did manage to catch up with her. Her fury was really something to see—her eyes flashed amidst her tears in the most appealing way. But my time with Akito has taught me how to deal with anger, and she calmed down quickly once I apologized. Then she laughed, and for a moment, I forgot myself and laughed with her. For a precious instant, I could forget who I was and what I was, and just "be".

I don't remember reaching for her hand. It was just there, in mine, just like it was supposed to be. Did she move closer, or did I? I don't remember that, either. I do remember bending to kiss her. What would have happened if I had?

In the end, I had to turn away. The world is as the world is. Akito was waiting for me when I returned home, and I knew at that moment that I could not let myself see Arisa Uotani again.

Afterwards, the days dragged and the solitude that I thought I was enduring so well began to close in on me. I was trying so hard to forget, and to be content once more. But the Honda girl made her way in here to see me, and in her artful innocence, gave me hope for something I should not hope for.

Here in the twilight, a violin sings and my hand plays with a scrap of paper that I cannot seem to throw away. For of the many mysteries within this house of secrets, this one is by far the most precious to me.

FIN