Your Wings Are Mine
One-shot, Sasu/Naru. Uchiha Sasuke, a fallen angel. Uzumaki Naruto, the one who can guide him back to heaven. One song, singing of pleasure and pain—of life and death—and everything in between.
Disclaimer: Both Naruto and "Your Wings Are Mine" do not belong to me. They belong to their individual creators respectively.
Warning: Yaoi. Meaning two men. Together. Doing lots of things. Don't read it if you don't like it.
Notes: "Your Wings Are Mine" written and performed by Lethanon. March 2004. I have never attempted a song fic before. You're allowed to tie me to the stake and burn me alive if it sucks. Oh! And this goes out to my new partner in crime, Hitokiri-chan! She influenced the fluffy, non-angstyness:D
Sasuke didn't know what to do. For the first time in years—as far back as he could remember, really—he was scared. Actually, totally, and undeniably scared. And it was all Naruto's fault. Loud, bold, stupid Naruto, who made it a habit of his life to intrude into other people's solitude and force them out of the darkness and into light. Sasuke used to tell himself that he preferred the darkness. That was before.
(I wasn't always this way…)
He had grown up alone, after the horrid day he had found his brother in the midst of his family's corpses drenched in their blood. He could still see it clearly: the emotionless face, the blood-red haunting eyes; the quiet stare that told him that the clan had just brought this tragedy upon themselves. Since that day, he had distanced himself from both people and emotions, telling himself that to get attached to something, anything, would make him vulnerable and weak. And that was the last thing he wanted to be.
(Alone each day…)
He had once lived and breathed in his solitude; the only thing that kept him from fully going under was the idea, the fact, that one day he would get his revenge. He recalled that part of his life with the faintest hint of longing. He'd give anything to be the cold, unfeeling bastard he had been before… Before graduation, before Team Seven, before Naruto. But that was the funny thing about life: once the impression was there, it could never be removed or forgotten. His presence was like a bright red spatter of blood on a plain white canvas, a brilliant sun that glimmered high in the endless summer sky. He could never forget as much as he wanted to.
(It wasn't my way…)
He couldn't forget the ethereal blond strands of hair that felt like silk within his fingers. He couldn't forget the sky blue eyes that somehow looked past all his barriers and found his soul. He couldn't forget his voice, so brash yet so soothing; his hands, so small but so comforting; his breath lingering on his lips, his neck, his ear as he whispered sweet promises of eternal sunshine and happiness. But Sasuke knew the world did not work like that. He knew from experience, and he also knew that every good thing that came into his life eventually went away again. That's why he had left first.
(Can you tell me why—)
That's why he had run away: to prevent Naruto from leaving him. Now that he thought it, it was so painfully obvious. And suddenly, as if the gods had waited for this realization, it started to rain.
(When I look at the sky—)
He looked up at the storm clouds and cursed himself and everything for the hundredth time that day. He wanted to see the night sky; it was the only thing that ever gave him some semblance of comfort anymore. He could just stare up into the blue-black oblivion and quietly lose himself in its depths and for once, forget everything.
(The stars don't reply...)
Not for once. Again. Because Sasuke knew of one other time where he also found himself lost in untold depths. But he had forgotten, at least the feeling it gave him. Not the color though. Never the color.
(But they leave me to sigh?)
Inhaling the thick, storm gray air, he placed one foot on the first step and gradually lifted himself up. That had been the hardest. Letting his breath out in a rush, he slowly continued his ascent, his dark eyes locked on the third door from the stairwell exit. He remembered. He was scared. He continued to climb.
(Alone to cry, I feel fine…)
There was a knock. A simple, abrupt knock that was merely a single hard rap on the door and it pulled Naruto out of his trance. Or whatever it was. He had been crying, that was the one thing he did know. It was probably Sakura or Iruka coming to check on him—they were the only ones who even bothered anymore—everyone else had given up when they saw he refused to move from that specific corner. It wasn't his fault, really. That corner just had a lot of memories, that's all.
(Can you see?)
"Coming," he called, wiping away remnants of his tears.
(Can you see?)
Sasuke tensed as the door swung open and a familiar face looked out.
"Naruto…" he whispered.
(Your wings are mine.)
He was dreaming—he had to be: stuff like this never happened in real life. The man you were desperately wishing would come back does not magically just appear on your doorstep. It's down in the rulebook of broken hearts somewhere, Naruto was sure of it. But here he was, drenched and a few inches taller, but here. On his doorstep. Looking at him. And he was uncomfortably aware of it.
(We can't decide…)
Although he had been reciting the speech he would give the dark-haired Uchiha upon his return in his head a thousand times a day, he could not, for the life of him, open his mouth and say it, much less anything at all. So Naruto merely stepped back and watched as Sasuke slowly entered the apartment, his eyes roving over the place he once knew as a second home and quietly set his pack down by the kitchen table. Half-turning, he let his wandering gaze set on the blond by the open door.
(In whom we confide…)
"Close the door before you catch a cold," he said. The other just blinked at him stupidly. Sighing, the black-haired man crossed back to the foyer and reached beyond the paralyzed blond, yanking the door shut. The slam seemed to snap him out of it because Naruto shook his head slightly and tried to glare at the other man.
"Where… Where have you been?"
Sasuke thought for a moment before answering truthfully: "Running away."
(And fate has ensured…)
"Why…?" he asked in a choked voice somewhere above a whisper. Sasuke shrugged, moving his hand from the doorknob to the wood between Naruto's arm and waist.
"Because I didn't..." His other hand came up to press against the door on the opposite side. "I didn't…" Leaning in, he could see his reflection in the other's eyes.
"Didn't, what?" Naruto repeated weakly.
"I didn't want…to lose you," he responded hesitantly.
(I was played.)
"To lose…?" Naruto murmured, breathless as Sasuke's face drew ever closer. He could see himself perfectly in those sharp black eyes that screamed hidden volumes of dark amber; eyes he had looked into many times, and had always felt like he was drowning. After all this time, it was no different.
"Everything, everything good in my life is taken from me," Sasuke whispered hurriedly, as if he wanted to get his confession out in one breath. "And I didn't want it to be the same way with you. I thought if I left before that happened, it wouldn't hurt." He returned the other's stare avidly, looking for some hint of emotion. "I was wrong."
(I was never so filled with fear...)
Naruto's eyes were hopeful, and they searched the other man's face for some hint of deception or trickery. He had been hurt by this man before. But the more he looked, the more he felt those last words were true, and he believed with all of his heart that this was his one chance to make everything right again. So, instead of hiding his feelings as he had from the rest of the world, Naruto broke down and cried.
(That I couldn't hear…)
"Please, don't…" he sobbed, pushing his head into the other man's chest and wrapping his arms around his broad shoulders. "Don't leave me again. Don't walk out and take my heart with you; don't kill me. I told you that I would die without you, Sasuke, and that's what I've been doing since you left: I've been dying. So, please… Oh, please…"
Bringing his arms up gently, Sasuke embraced the blond and lowered his chin to rest atop his head. He knew what the other wanted to say but dared not to ask—not to think about what he would be asking for—and tightened his arms around him.
"I'm sorry, Naruto," he said softly. "I know what to do now: I won't run away anymore."
(The lonely tears…Say…)
His hands rose to the tan face, cupping the scarred cheeks with a gentleness that surprised even himself. Perhaps the time apart had affected him more than he believed. He tilted the other's face up to his and for an instant, felt his own burning tears rising into his eyes: "I promise."
(Can you tell me why—)
Naruto moved slowly and Sasuke let him, memorizing the curve of his face and the gentle curl of his lashes closed over the sky blue eyes that he so desperately longed to fall into. And with a feeling of finality as he closed his eyes, he suddenly knew that was actually one promise he could keep.
(When I look at the sky—)
His eyes were closing. So was the distance between their lips. Naruto just wanted to stand there and gaze into the night black orbs forever; he could live off that. But Sasuke's breath was suddenly his breath and he couldn't remember much after that except he was very happy for the first time in a long time.
(The stars don't reply…)
The kiss was, for lack of a better description, soothing. It was a magic kiss that instantly ignited a fire that had been dormant for so long. It enveloped both their hearts and caressed away the wounds as their hands caressed each other's faces, it cleared their minds as the rain outside cleared the imperfection from the world. And even though they pulled away briefly, the magic kiss did not stop there.
(But they leave me to sigh?)
"I missed you," he whispered and he meant it. His own hand came up to push the damp black locks away from his lover's pale face, who gave a solemn nod of understanding.
"I'm sure you're the only one," he replied with a smirk that came off more as a grimace.
"But, that's what matters, isn't it?"
"…yeah. I don't care what anyone else thinks."
(Alone to cry—)
"Just you," he finished, bringing his lips back down to Naruto's.
(I feel fine; Can you see?)
Naruto clung to Sasuke as the kiss deepened, his hands leaving his shoulders and sliding down his chest to his waist. Timidly, hesitantly, he slipped a trembling hand beneath the soaked navy blue shirt and felt the other man shiver beneath his fingertips.
(Can you see?)
"Sasuke…" he breathed longingly, his hand becoming bold as it slid across the rigid abdomen and clasped at one bony hip. The other man said nothing but his quickened heartbeat explained everything.
"Naruto…" he moaned.
(Your wings are mine.)
They stumbled back together, tripping over their own feet and each other as they moved into the hall. Sasuke pulled his shirt off and Naruto lay both of his hands on his cold, flushed skin. The dark-haired man leaned against the wall and tilted his head back as Naruto's mouth joined his hands in caressing his bare torso; Sasuke's mouth opened slightly to allow short, ragged gasps to slip out.
(Can you tell me why…?)
His hands slid into the blond silk atop his partner's head. He held the hot, warm mouth close to his flesh, quivering, knowing that his hips were starting to twitch noticeably—knowing the other man knew it too. Naruto purred against the flat of his stomach and Sasuke couldn't suppress the shuddering moan it forced out of him.
(Your wings are mine.)
This brought a breathless chuckle from Naruto, who suddenly wrapped his arms around Sasuke's waist and hoisted him up off the ground with surprising ease. Sasuke couldn't really be surprised anymore—there was no room for that. All he knew is that the apartment was abnormally dark and it reminded him of things he didn't want to be reminded of and he thought that he saw a pair of blood red eyes somewhere in the darkness past Naruto's shoulders as the blond carried him into the bedroom.
(I sit in the dark…)
Sasuke closed his eyes and curled inward, wrapping himself around the bright light that was Naruto. He felt the other man's warmth flood his shivering body and slowly, like waking from a nightmare, the darkness became less menacing, less of a reminder. Before he could think about why it had happened so suddenly, Naruto was dropping him onto the large queen-sized bed; the soft impact jolting him out of his thoughts.
('Cause I can't remark…)
He looked up into the blue-eyed gaze that reminded him of what he thought Heaven must be. This blond held the key to breaking through his fear. He recalled not even minutes ago he was standing outside, blaming Naruto for being scared and weak and…and… Oh god. Sasuke felt his eyes widen and suddenly everything else seemed unimportant; the horrible nightmare that had been his childhood, his want of cold-blooded revenge on his brother, the thought of being alone…
(On the terrors I've seen.)
Oh god, his mouth. It was hot and wet and it consumed every doubt and fear and terror in Sasuke's blood-stained mind until there was nothing left but undeniable need. He extended his hands blindly, even though his eyes were open and he saw what Naruto was doing to him. He felt the blond lock their fingers together and it was like a lifeline—Sasuke held on desperately. For once in his life, his mind was not clouded and confused. It was blank. Blissfully content. And oh GOD...!
(I'm so lost in my mind…)
Naruto's tongue trailed along his inner thigh teasingly—when had his pants come off?—and lapped up along the curve of his waist, along his chest, gently teasing one nipple. Sasuke's breath hitched in his throat and his hands left Naruto's to pull the blond closer, tighter, to his aching body. Not aching in pain from battling relentlessly, aching in want, in need, in oh dear gods give me give me give me…!
(That I cannot find…)
Naruto's eyes finally came back to his, and the gentle hue calmed him once more. How did he do that? Without words? When Sasuke was on the brink of losing his sanity, either from Ochimaru, Itachi, or Naruto's mouth. How? Naruto had lost his clothing somewhere in the period between the hallway and the bed and Sasuke suspected that's where his pants had gone too. He could remember discarding the shirt, but after that, Naruto's fingers had stroked along his waist and that's around the time he saw something odd—though he couldn't remember what it was now—and there were those eyes again: those endless blue pools.
(What I'm meant to be—)
Sasuke swallowed hard. Naruto gave him a look, his head tilted to one side, one eyebrow raised.
"Are you…alright?"
In answer, Sasuke ran a hand up through his friend's blond locks, clasped the back of his head, and drew his mouth down once more.
(Can you save me?)
Naruto could see the emotions conflicting in the other man's eyes, and he briefly wondered if he was moving too fast. He asked the other verbally, but was answered in cryptic fashion—as per usual—and kissed. He didn't quite understand his partner, even though Naruto believed he knew the quiet prodigy more than anyone else (and he was correct).Though he had come home and promised to stay, the blond wondered what Sasuke possibly saw in him that made him want to stay. He was nothing special, and he hadn't done anything out of the ordinary to win Sasuke's affections, but the way he was being kissed was telling him so much differently.
(Can you tell me why—)
Sasuke felt a hesitance in the kiss and pulled away. He looked back up into Naruto's eyes, which were speaking a silent question: Why? There were hundreds of millions of things to ask why about, and Sasuke wouldn't pretend to know what Naruto was thinking why about. But, strangely enough, he thought he knew anyway.
"You make it all go away," he mumbled.
(When I look at the sky—)
Without a warning, the magic of that first kiss wound around them again and made the remaining words in their throats die. The single fire that was two people roared—it demanded physicality; Naruto craved it and Sasuke depended on it. That was the way it worked in their small world, and that's all that mattered because right now, it was just the two of them: No Kyuubi Kitsune at the boundaries of Uzumaki Naruto's spirit, threatening to break free. No ghastly, haunting images of a slaughtered family with a deranged brother silently mocking Uchiha Sasuke.
(The stars don't reply…)
They pressed together hungrily, their mouths locked, their tongue fighting one another. Soon it was impossible to tell where one of them ended and the other began. Hands roamed without a particular destination, only seeking to pleasure, to coax out a loud moan of something lost between ecstasy and impatience. They rolled over, and they rolled over again, struggling for control, for power, for satisfaction. Flashes of bright blue and dark, black-amber glimmered in the darkness as the rain outside grew harder and lightning suddenly began to flicker off in the distance.
(But they leave me to sigh?)
Though the bed creaked in protest as neither man relented and they nearly rolled off the mattress, they were grinning. Laughing. First, Naruto chuckled briefly. Sasuke grinned. The blond began to laugh as they turned around again. The other man let out a brief, short laugh. And then the two of them were giggling like a couple of playful children as they rolled, kissed, bucked, kissed again, and their legs tangled within one another as they continued to struggle for dominance.
(Alone to cry, I feel fine…)
It was a game. And they hadn't played it in years.
(Can you see?)
Naruto won. But only because Sasuke let him.
(Can you see?)
That's the way it was, in their world of yin and yang. Of opposites: Sasuke, the Night and Naruto, the Day. The black versus the white. Taking and giving.
(Your wings are mine.)
Naruto thought fleetingly of the corner—the one he hadn't bothered to leave since Sasuke's disappearance. Not willingly, anyway. It was the place where they had said goodbye, or rather, where Sasuke had kissed him and then walked out of his life. That kiss had been totally different; abrupt, angry, and harsh. Everything Naruto knew his lover used to be.
(Can you tell me why—)
He had stared out of the single window by the door, watching the sky change from yellow to blue to gray to black, over and over. The days melted into the nights seamlessly and became this one, mocking entity that consumed him like his emptiness had. But that emptiness was gone now.
(When I look at the sky—)
Naruto's brief tangent of thought cost him dearly—Sasuke was on top now. He resumed the kissing that had ceased and pinned the blonde's shoulders to the bed, holding him beneath his own body. Which was quite amazing to look at, if Naruto didn't say so himself. He stared in breathless wonder at the solid, flat stomach, the angled, finely muscled torso, the exceedingly tantalizing curve of his elegant neck. And it was all his.
(The stars don't reply…)
Sasuke moved his lips from Naruto's and brushed them across the blonde's forehead. Then he kissed each scar lining the other's scarlet cheeks and lapped the tip of his tongue along the curve of his earlobes, which brought about a slight, weak gasp. Sasuke loved the power and the control, but he also loved Naruto, and he didn't want to ruin what they had just built up again in…ten minutes? And, did Sasuke understand himself correctly?
(But they leave me to sigh?)
He loved Naruto.
(Alone to cry, I feel fine…)
"Sasuke… I love you. You do know that, don't you?" It was like he had read his mind. Then again, he shouldn't have been surprised; the blond read him like an open book.
(Can you see?)
"I do," he responded with a slight nod. "And…" His body shifted, he slid a hand behind Naruto, lifting him slightly, arching his hips, sucking in a breath between clenched teeth and hearing Naruto make the same noise, only louder, driving him crazy. Driving him mad with desire and dizzy with happiness and warm with the knowledge that everything was right again.
(Can you see?)
"I love you…"
(Your wings are mine.)
His hands trailed over Sasuke's back as it flexed and arched beneath his fingers and he thought he might have been drooling. He suddenly envisioned black wings, huge, feathered joints that stretched far over them, protruding from Sasuke's back. Oddly, he felt no fear or discomfort from such a vision—in fact, he loved it. He thought the wings were a direct extension of the other man. Dark, silken walls that encircled them both and left the outside world where it belonged: outside. And he lifted his fingers to caress the invisible wings—not imaginary—because Naruto believed that Sasuke was an angel in his own right; a bloody, torn up angel that just needed time to make those black wings white again.
(Your wings are mine…)
Sasuke slipped his arms beneath Naruto, feeling his back as it flexed and he shifted and followed Sasuke's rhythmic movements. With a slight start that almost cost him his dominance, the black-haired man almost swore he felt feathers there. Feathers belonging to wings. And with a blink, there they were: angelic wings of the purest white and the softest silk, framing his lithe body in a cradle of delicate feathers. The boy who possessed them was far from delicate, though. Sasuke mused over the fact that such wings couldn't possibly belong to this man; this rash, loud, impossibly difficult man. But he blinked again and looked into those blue portals that reflected Naruto's soul.
(Your wings are mine…)
And he was stilled by the angel's beauty. Sasuke closed his eyes and let Naruto overpower him and he lay back on the cool sheets as it continued to rain.