Believing

by Aubrey-L

You never questioned how he became the one who knows you inside and out. It seemed he did so over night – in your bed fit perfectly for the two of you and you never really seemed to care that one day he lived at a friend’s and the next he lived with you.

You always wondered why he's the only one who can make every part of you hard, make your breath come out in pants within seconds, and send goose bumps across your entire body with just a mere caress of his fingertips across your arm.

You never questioned how he became the one who knows you inside and out. It seemed he did so over night – in your bed fit perfectly for the two of you – and you never really seemed to care that one day he lived at a friend's and the next he lived with you. It was ridiculous to think he could possibly live anywhere else besides the comfort of your bed, in your arms, every night until the two of you fell asleep.

It was so hard at first to tell him how you really felt, seeing how you thought that showing emotion was a weakness, some twisted sort of vulnerability, and even when he left you because you refused to say three simple words that meant the world to him, you still didn't tell him how you felt. He makes you feel wanted when you come home from work after dealing for hours with people who crave money, who are greedy, and only care about themselves. He makes you feel desired for when he gives you that hungry look and then practically begs you with his eyes and even sometimes with words, to fuck him senseless into the three hundred thread-count Egyptian sheets of the bed that the two of you share. And sometimes, you let him fuck you into them because what he wants, he gets. You will never be the one to tell him otherwise.

So foolish you were to think that you could win him back with you charm, with your wit, and your utter sex appeal. He knows you inside and out, you forget, he reads you and knows every word of every page. You can't lie to him because he sees the dishonesty and you cannot live without him because he knows that you need him despite how much you chose to not show it.

You gave up your baby – a club filled with gyrating half-clothed men and music that reverberated off the walls to fill your entire body with the beat – and you gave up a tricking-drug-filled lifestyle along with the loft where you fucked countless men, all for the man you love because you want no one else but him. He never told you that you had to do it but you knew in your heart that it was the only way to make him believe.

- Believe that you really do love him.