CHAPTER FOURTEEN - Just Adding To The Noise

I stood on tiptoes as I walked around my room, the floor covered with scattered photos from the Homecoming Dance.

"Nice organizational skills," Byron quipped, leaning back on the swivel chair in front of my computer. He stuck a pencil behind his ear as he picked a photo up from the carpet. "So, Amber and Nicky? Who knew, huh?"

I shrugged as I looked over at the picture he was holding up. "A brief fling, my sources tell me."

"Define brief," he replied. "She was over at our house yesterday on the pretence of hanging out with Vanessa. Then she proceeded to spend goodness knows how long behind closed doors in Nicky's room." I wrinkled my nose, making a face.

"Gross." So she lied to me.

"Damn right it's gross," Byron chuckled, shaking his head. "I mean, Nicky? Of all people..."

I flashed him a disdained smile. "Dude, not like you're the perfect catch, either," I teased. "Better watch it or you head might explode, ruining all these photos." I shuffled through a short stack in my hands.

"You don't have to worry the slightest bit," he replied, sticking the picture in the scanner. "I play Mr. Modesty pretty well. And anyway, the greatness that is Byron Pike is unquestionable, so I won't bore you with the details." I rolled my eyes, even though I knew he was joking.

"Thank you, oh gracious one," I replied in a dull tone.

Byron let out a low chuckle. Afterwards pausing for a moment, clearing his throat.

"So... are we going to talk about it?" he asked so quietly that I barely heard him over the sound of the whirring scanner.

"Talk about what?" I murmured, although I knew perfectly well what he meant. I squatted in front of the computer, clicking away with the mouse, my full attention on the screen. Byron slowly raised a hand, placing it over mine. That broke my concentration and I sharply withdrew. He looked taken aback at my reaction.

"I -- didn't want to bring it up considering all the other shit you must be going through right now." He looked at me uncertainly, but then quickly averted his eyes. "I mean – All this stuff with your parents. It must be really..."

"Don't begin to assume you know what I'm going through," I said sharply. "Because you don't." He looked at me again, this time our eyes meeting.

"...But I want to," he replied softly, his eyes almost pleading with me. "You... You don't talk to anyone, Char. Not like before. We know it must be killing you inside but you haven't trusted any of us enough to help you get through this. Not Becca, Van, Amber -- or me." After this, I just gave him a blank stare.

"How can I trust you?" I asked pointedly, though never raising my voice. I was done playing his games. "You've toyed with my emotions... you've hurt me too many times over. I hate myself for letting you do that to me. Especially – Especially when I know I'm stupid enough to still be in love with you."

Catching me off-guard, Byron lurched forward, capturing my mouth in his, kissing me with fervour. Surprising myself, I found that I was kissing him back with matched intensity.

I didn't know what I was doing, but at the same time, it felt so... right.

I needed this. I needed to feel again, past anger, past hurt.

I needed this and I didn't care for the cost.

He pulled back after a moment and leaned his forehead on mine, catching his breath.

"You don't understand, do you?" His eyes searched mine. "All this time, I've I wanted to forget you. To push you in the back of my mind. To forget what it felt like when I was with you. But I'm tired. I'm tired of running away from the one thing I know is right in my life... You, Charlotte. It's always been you."

It was peculiar, but I didn't care if he was lying or telling me the truth. At that moment in my life, I wanted to feel something different. I wanted to be taken away from the mess surrounding me, from the numbness that I knew was slowly beginning to smother me.

I wanted to get lost.

I wanted to lose myself in him.