Summary: Fai and Kurogane discover things about themselves that they would rather have not discovered. Fai makes his choice.

Warnings: Warning One: Kurogane swears. I swear too sometimes, I've noticed, so I'll give you a warning for me. Bad, Ali-san, swearing like that and never warning people. Warning Two: No spoilers if you've gotten past the first two chapters. Warning Three: And now we start to see the real KuroxFai-ness. It's beginning to show…

Disclaimers: I own nothing. It all belongs to CLAMP, et al.

Legend

Denial

The rain had stopped falling before Fai opened his eyes. His senses were sluggish, but he did feel somewhat better. How long he had been unconscious he had no idea. The sky was pitch black, cloudless and starless. The temperature had dropped somewhat and he shivered. He was lying on something warm however, and he wished it would fold over the top of him as well. He then blinked into further awareness. Whatever he was lying on was breathing.

Slowly, horror dawned on Fai as he lifted his head to see Kurogane beneath him. How had that happened? The last thing Fai remembered was rolling Kurogane onto his back. What had happened after that? He sat up, placing a hand against his aching head. He was probably much better than from before; he felt better at least. His partner, on the other hand, seemed as though he had yet to wake up. Fai frowned from that implication. At least he was still breathing.

He noticed that Kurogane had chosen a decent place to collapse. The fallen tree they were next to arched over them somewhat, creating a haphazard shelter. Even if it helped them for now, Fai had no idea how they would find their way back to camp. Fai was certainly not strong enough to carry the other man, nor was he in any shape to do so in the first place. He looked back at Kurogane, sighing heavily. He wished he would wake up.

The warrior inside of him bubbled to the surface again. He should just leave him. He could walk, and there was no reason he should sit in the elements tempting death to take them both. If he left, he would reach camp by this time tomorrow at the latest. Kurogane seemed as good as dead anyway. But he was still alive. Barely, it appeared, but still alive. He almost looked fragile lying there so still.

Fai found himself reaching out to tenderly brush away the stray locks of spiky hair from Kurogane's forehead, a small smile playing at his lips. He pulled his hand back and shook his head. This was no good. Why was he not leaving? He knew, though, that the reason was lying next to him. Fai forced his gaze away from Kurogane and out across the ruined landscape. The lush prairie grass no longer fringed the ground, ripped out by the mudslide. Downed trees lay across the ground, creating chaotic patterns that told of destruction. The trees that remained standing leaned in wayward angles over the ground. Not a splash of color could be seen in that wreckage; dark shadows skittered across the stained brown terrain.

And his stomach growled. Fai could have laughed at how mundane it was. Surviving not only a harsh battle, but also a mudslide and he was hungry. It made sense though. He had been through a hellish trauma, and naturally his body would need to fuel the healing process. Fai would have to go searching for what food, if any, was available here. And he found even leaving Kurogane's side for that reason made him hesitate.

Fai scoffed at his foolishness. This feeling was utterly ridiculous and he would be susceptible to it no longer. He braced himself against the tree beside them and pushed himself to standing. His legs were shaking from the exertion and he figured it must have been at least a day since he had fallen unconscious. Stealing a lingering glance at Kurogane, Fai angrily forced himself away. After a few shaking steps, Fai found a pace he could keep and set about searching the area for whatever it could offer.

It had not been much, and he returned with a few fibrous plants that were the least molded of all he had found. He had also discovered the body of one of the warriors he had been fighting not a day ago and ransacked it. It had turned up some dried meat and stale bread that both seemed in good condition. It had encouraged Fai to search for more bodies the next time he had to go out. He had also dug the man's flint from his small pack, but all the wood he found had been too damp to be of any use.

Fai's wounds were aching sharply again and he sat down heavily. Hiking around like that had taken more of a toll on his body than he had expected. The wound on his chest hurt especially. It appeared to be a mere abrasion, albeit spanning the majority of his chest, but it ached deep in his ribs and he found himself gasping for breath. He curled his knees up against himself and looked down at Kurogane before out across the terrain from which he had come. The silence rang in his ears as loudly as the mudslide had and he longed once again for his swordsman to wake up. At least just to talk to him.

He should just leave. Then he would have a whole army with which to talk. No one would blame him. It was expected even. But he could not in good conscience leave him. He had to stay. He groaned and let his still aching head drop against his knees. Sighing, he lifted his head and began picking through the food he had collected. Though he felt completely famished, he knew he would need to be conservative with it since he had no guarantee that he would find any more. And he knew that when, no if, Kurogane woke up, he would need to eat as well.

After his makeshift meal, Fai leaned back against the tree. And he found himself talking to Kurogane.

"It's pretty ridiculous, don't you think, Kuro-min?" Fai said. "I think so at any rate. What's the first thing we're taught when we become warriors? Okay, well, maybe not the first thing, but it's definitely up there. You don't remember? Well, I do. 'The only limit to not leaving a comrade behind is when it is more than likely the other will not survive, because the well-being of one warrior supercedes losing another.' And here I am, risking my life just on the off chance that you're going to live. And I think if I hadn't have found you, you would die out here." Fai lowered his head, a stricken expression on his face. "And I don't know why that thought makes my blood run cold." He looked at Kurogane. "Why are you doing this to me? I don't even know what you're doing, but it has to stop." He shook his head. "This is not good. Get a hold of yourself. You're a soldier, aren't you? It's nothing. He means nothing to you. That's also up there, you know. 'Don't form attachments.'

"I don't know why I'm even here," he continued. "Instead of only you dying, I'm going to die too. Where is the logic in that? There isn't any! I remember when I used to only have logic. And then you," he waved his hand negligently in Kurogane's direction, "had to come along. Now instead of saving myself, I'm here rotting in the mud with you. You're probably not even going to wake up again. And then we'll both be dead for no reason. Well, you'll have died from a combination of the battle and that mudslide. I'll have died keeping your unconscious self company.

"I really would like to know why it is that I don't want to leave you here," he said, pushing a hand through his filthy hair, grimacing as it snagged and pulled. "I just don't know anymore."

::-:: ::-:: ::-:: ::-:: ::-::

From the depths of unconsciousness, Kurogane became aware of a constant sound. He discerned it to be the quiet lilting of a familiar voice; it was Fai's voice. He slowly came into awareness, noticing the large amounts of pain in which his body was. He found he could barely open his eyes, but he could see the blonde sitting next to his head, seemingly talking to no one.

"I really would like to know why it is that I don't want to leave you here," he was saying. "I just don't know anymore."

"I don't know either," Kurogane mumbled. His voice was quiet and hoarse from disuse, but Fai jerked at the sound, looking down at him in astonishment.

"Kurogane," he said.

Somehow, the swordsman found mirth enough to chuckle a little. "Are things that bad that you call me by my name?"

Fai looked away abashedly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me."

Fai gazed back at him, remaining silent.

"I really must be a jinx on your conversational skills," Kurogane murmured, letting his eyes fall closed. He took a shuddering breath. "Why the hell are you here? You seem all right enough to walk."

Fai nodded. "I am for the most part."

"Then why are you still here?"

Fai swallowed. He did not really wish to have this conversation. "I don't know."

Kurogane wanted to frown, but could not dredge up the necessary energy. "So leave. I don't need a keeper just to die."

"Don't say that, Kuro-tan," Fai admonished. "You're going to be fine."

Kurogane opened his eyes again. "I might end up being fine, but it would be at your expense. You shouldn't be so worried about me."

"I know."

"I could just die here by myself and you could be perfectly fine."

"I know."

"But you're not going to leave."

Fai shook his head. "No, I'm not."

"You're really stupid, you know that?" Kurogane said.

Fai smiled somewhat. "So I've heard."

Kurogane scowled. He did not like Fai being this reserved. He should have thrown a comment like that back in his face. But he took it. "What's the matter?"

The bowman looked at him skeptically. "If you hadn't noticed, both you and I know that I should not be here. I should leave you and save myself. That's the way things go, correct? And again, if you hadn't noticed, I'm not doing that. And I have no explanation for it."

"You can just go," Kurogane said. "I won't hold it against you."

"I would," Fai muttered.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you to die."

"You're treading on dangerous ground there," Kurogane growled.

Fai grinned. "No, we were treading on dangerous ground before. I think our ground is quite stable here."

Kurogane smiled to himself. This was better. This was the Fai with whom he was familiar. But he was avoiding the issue. "You know what I mean."

Fai nodded. "I know."

"Whatever," Kurogane muttered. "Do what you want."

They lapsed into silence.

::-:: ::-:: ::-:: ::-:: ::-::

Two days had passed and Kurogane was finally able to move without Fai's assistance. Fai had been able to scrounge some more food from the wreckage so they were able to subsist for the time being. The wood in the area had also dried out some and Fai put to use the flint he had taken his first day out. They only kept a small fire going, but it was enough to stave off the cold that seemed to persist more and more with each passing hour.

Conversation had been sparse between them, but that night Fai found himself prodding Kurogane into speaking.

"Why did you join the army, Kuro-mi?" He asked, gazing thoughtfully into the fire.

"It was better than being a farmer," Kurogane grunted.

Fai smiled. "I can picture you as a farmer, though."

Kurogane lifted an eyebrow skeptically. "I was fine with the labor, but the couple that raised me wanted me as far away as possible."

"Your parents?"

"No, the ones that raised me," Kurogane said. "I never knew my parents. The couple insisted that I was too evil to have parents and that the evil demon in the woods had spawned me and left me to them. If they didn't take care of me, it would burn their farm."

"Are you serious?" Fai asked incredulously.

"Why the hell would I lie to you? Lying is your department," Kurogane shot back, scowling irritably. "They were a real superstitious lot. I didn't understand what they were talking about, but I did my best to be as little trouble to them as I could. I worked, I ran to the market, I harvested, took care of the animals. I did everything I could to make them like me just a little. They didn't want a thing to do with me though, insisting that no good would ever come from me and that no one would ever care when I died. They didn't even let me sleep in their house. It was either outside or in the barn. I finally realized that there was only one thing I could do that might make them happy. And that was leaving. I saw the army passing by one day, and I let them know that I was going with them. The imbeciles practically cried for joy."

"That's a little sad," Fai frowned.

Kurogane shrugged. "Nothing I can do about it now. So what about you? You don't seem like the army type."

Fai grinned at him. "I didn't have a choice. The slave trader sold me."

Kurogane looked at him sharply. "What?"

Fai smiled. "I was under the control of a slave trader since before I could remember. Whenever he felt that I needed some disheartening, he'd tell me that my parents had sold me because they did not want the rest of their children to starve."

"Was it true?" Kurogane asked quietly.

"I don't know," Fai said. "I want to say that I never believed him, but deep down I think I did. I know I didn't want to believe him. I did believe him, though, whenever he told me that it was my fault that another girl he owned was sold." Fai felt the familiar sting in his chest whenever he thought of her. "Fuu-chan was always pretty shy. I had more or less befriended her and taught her different things as we grew up. This monster of a woman at a market liked her because of all her different talents. Talents she had cultivated with my help. She was sold on the spot, crying out to me for help the whole transaction. She didn't understand why that lady was taking her away, nor did she understand why it was that the lady started beating her immediately. But I couldn't do anything for her. If ever I opened my mouth to talk to someone, the owner would simply mention Fuu-chan. It was quite effective at shutting me up. But he ran into the previous general of our army soon thereafter and made a deal. He had no use for me and the general liked the look of me. So he got me pretty cheap and granted me freedom so long as I remained in his force."

"I'd say you had the worse childhood," Kurogane said.

Fai chuckled. "It's all a matter of perception, Kuro-wan."

"Is it?" Kurogane said. "I think it's true."

Fai did not look at him, but fixed his eyes on the fire.

"You like to pretend that life is all rainbows and sunshine," Kurogane said. "But you're dark sometimes. A whole hell of a lot darker than I am even. No one seems to see it. I do." Kurogane snarled a bit as Fai continued to refuse meeting his eyes. "You don't," Kurogane reached out to almost forcibly turn Fai's face to him, locking their eyes on each other, his voice softening, "have to lie to me. I don't want you to lie to me."

Fai could not have moved away even had he wanted to, so riveted to Kurogane's eyes as he was. He had always shied away from actually meeting those eyes for too long. He had never felt comfortable with their color; never before had he seen eyes almost the shade of blood; it was little wonder that the couple that raised him thought he was some demon's spawn. But as he stared into them, he felt his discomfort fading away, being replaced by another feeling. One that could not be acknowledged. He pulled away.

"I don't mean to lie to you," he said, looking back at the fire. "It just…comes naturally, I guess."

Kurogane frowned. "I can tell right away when you're lying to me."

Fai swallowed nervously around the lump that had appeared in his throat and forced the trepidation from his voice. "How?"

"You start talking," Kurogane said. "It seems to me, you don't trust silence. There's too much truth there. I have a feeling that you like listening more than talking. But you don't trust other people to not ask you something you'd rather not answer, so you talk in order to keep them all distracted. And that is why, whenever you're around me, I do more talking than you do. Somehow, you've grown to know that more often than not, I won't make you lie."

Fai forced a cheerful smile onto his face. "Then shall we stop talking before I have to start?"

Kurogane glared darkly at him for a moment. "Just tell me why you lie to people."

"Because if you tell people the truth, they'll know how you really feel," Fai explained almost loftily. "And where does that get you? Nowhere. If you tell people the truth, you're just opening yourself up for hurt."

"You think I'm going to hurt you?" Kurogane asked quietly.

The bowman blinked at that, and did not speak for the span of a moment. He looked back at the fire. "I don't know what I think anymore," he breathed.

::-:: ::-:: ::-:: ::-:: ::-::

Since then, words between the two had been sparse. Silences grew longer and more frequent. Glances at each other while the other was not looking were more common, carrying the weight of unsaid words longing to be spoken. They had agreed, on the fifth day, that they could attempt returning to camp.

The original march from it had been southeast to the battlefield, so they found themselves a northwesterly path. The rain had washed away the larger clots of mud, but debris still littered the ground, making their path anything but direct. Fai was now in remarkably better shape than Kurogane, but forced their speed to his pace. Kurogane was getting too close. Fai needed to be back with others for no other reason than putting a halt to that.

He heard Kurogane stumble behind him, but he did not slow. He felt miserable for ignoring his partner's plight, but he had to go on. The sun had set and darkness now blanketed their road, forcing Fai to slow somewhat. He then realized he had not heard Kurogane in some time and a panic so severe he thought it might stop his heart seized him. He spun around, looking everywhere, blue eyes wide with fear.

"Kurogane?" He whispered, unable to erase the tremor that laced his voice.

"I'm right here, you idiot," he heard Kurogane growl from behind a tree not too far away.

Fai almost sagged with relief, but quickly stopped himself and reigned in his emotions. He shook his head in self-disgust and made his way back to stand in front of Kurogane. Even in the darkness of night, Kurogane seemed pale. The gash across his forehead stood out horrifically and Fai recoiled somewhat.

"What?" Kurogane glowered.

"Nothing," Fai looked away. "It's nothing. Are you all right?"

Kurogane snorted. "Were I all right, I'd be able to keep up with you."

Fai inwardly winced from those words, true as they were. He knew he was protecting himself at Kurogane's expense, but he could not seem to help it. He smiled though. "I'm sorry."

"I told you not to apologize to me," Kurogane said. "Let's go."

"Are you sure you're okay to go on?" Fai asked. "We can stop if you want."

Kurogane shook his head heavily. "We should move on."

Fai noted the weariness apparent in his words and movements. "No, I think we should stop. It wouldn't do to tire ourselves out so quickly."

Kurogane slid to the ground, trying to mask the pain he still felt. He looked up at Fai. "You don't have to stay here. You can go on ahead."

Fai knelt in front of him, a patient smile on his face. "I know I can. But I haven't been out here all this time just to leave you now."

Kurogane studied Fai's eyes for a moment. He took a breath to speak.

"I'll be right back," Fai stood abruptly, spun on his heel and vanished into the thickening dark.

Kurogane sighed looking after him. "Don't run from me."

::-:: ::-:: ::-:: ::-:: ::-::

As soon as he could no longer see Kurogane, Fai stopped walking. He did not want to hear whatever it was Kurogane wanted to tell him. But Kurogane was an obstinate person and would not be deterred for long; Fai would hear it sooner or later whether he wanted to or not. He just preferred it to be as later as possible.

He did not stay away for long and returned to where he had left Kurogane. The black haired man was fast asleep, slumped against the tree trunk. Fai dismissed his guilt at not having stopped or slowed earlier. He sat down opposite him and watched him for a time. He reached out to gently brush his fingertips against Kurogane's face, letting them linger over his skin. He yanked his hand back suddenly, balling it into a fist and tucking it against his chest, his cerulean eyes turning stormy. This could not continue. It would only make things harder. It was already going to be hard enough. He cursed himself silently as he settled against a tree not too far away from his partner and let a light sleep take him.

::-:: ::-:: ::-:: ::-:: ::-::

Another day of trekking across the land found Fai and Kurogane within sight of their camp. Fai felt as if an invisible weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he laughed, looking over at his companion.

"So do you think they've given us up for dead?" He asked.

Kurogane raised an eyebrow. "It was probably a given since we were both basically swallowed by the earth."

Fai laughed again and waved at the camp. "I'm sure the scout will see us," he said.

"I'm sure," Kurogane said.

As Kurogane finished, they heard a shout at the camp. Soon, they could see that what was left of their fellow warriors had gathered at the edge, looking in their direction, cheers slowly rising across the field.

Fai smiled at Kurogane as they drew nearer. "I think they might be glad to see us, Kuro-mu, what do you think?"

Kurogane rolled his eyes. "Does it matter?"

The other warriors soon surrounded them, showering them with questions and congratulations and statements of wonder. The general himself was there as well, calling the medic forward and encouraging the crowd to allow the two back to camp in one piece. The next few hours saw both Fai and Kurogane checked out and cleared by the medic, though Kurogane was asked to stay the night in the tent, while Fai was free to go. The bowman was out at his usual fire by dinnertime and regaled the others in his story of survival, adding ornamental anecdotes and leaving out many of the actual events. The whole group laughed at Fai's storytelling and left later that night none the wiser of what had really happened.

It was late, but Fai needed to take a walk in order to clear his mind. He had been quite worried that someone might see a flaw in his story and draw the truth out. Then he would have been in trouble. He was not prepared to let the whole camp know of his and his swordsman's more intimate moments. He scrubbed his hands over his face in frustration. This had to end. He would make it end.

"That was some artful storytelling back there," Kurogane's gruff voice interrupted his thoughts and he saw that his path had somehow led him past where he knew Kurogane would be.

He looked up at Kurogane irritably, as if to blame him for everything that was happening. "And your point would be?"

Kurogane looked at him, a spark of sadness shadowing his crimson eyes. "I was just making a comment."

"And an observant comment it was," Fai said. "Now if you'll excuse me." He made to walk past him, but was halted by a hard grip on his wrist. Fai looked down at Kurogane's hand holding his wrist before looking up to his eyes. "Can I help you?"

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"You're lying again," Kurogane said.

Fai pulled his hand away. His usually soft blue eyes had frozen over into a hard gaze. "You know nothing. You think you do, but you don't. You've been around me for, how long? Ten days? You are nothing to me. You mean nothing to me." He took another step away. "I don't want you near me ever again. I hate you."

Kurogane met Fai's icy glare with a glare of his own. "I know when you're lying to me."

Fai shook his head. "No, Kurogane. I really do hate you. I abhor you."

"Are you trying to convince yourself or me?"

"You're not following, are you?" Fai hissed, his voice menacingly quiet. "I should feel nothing toward you. And I don't. And just to drive that home, I'm going to hate you."

"You don't mean that," Kurogane said.

"Oh no?" Fai challenged.

Kurogane growled and took a step in Fai's direction. "I won't let you mean that."

"And how," Fai stood his ground, meeting Kurogane's eyes, impassively defiant. "Do you plan on stopping me?"

Kurogane's eyes became unreadable then. He had no answer.

"I think our conversation is over," Fai said. "Goodbye."

He turned and disappeared into the night.

Kurogane's gaze trailed his path until he could no longer see him. "Don't lie to me."

A/N: And we wrap up another chapter of Legend! I hope everyone's enjoying it thus far. I know I'm having a blast writing it. Big kudos go out to Miss Duchessa for giving this one a beta job. Turns out, it needed it! Desperately! So it's better now, thanks to her comments and tips.

So how many of you are tired of reading dialogue? Heheh. I'm sorry if you are. I can usually safely say that dialogue is my forte in writing. And I got to write quite a bit of it in this chapter. Lots of character (and thus relationship) development here. And for all of you who hate me right now for the ending of this chapter, fear not for it will resolve itself in due time. Oh the angst.

And have you all noticed Kuro-chi's and Fai's eye colors? Weren't they black in the manga? Well, my dear readers, that is a yet to be explained tidbit thought up by me. After finally understanding chapitre 66, I believe it will work out even better than I had planned. Ohohoho.

Hm. Short author's note this time. That's okay, I'm sure no one minds. Thanks for reading and watch out for chapter four soon!