Sheena: RW does not own Tales of Symphonia,
RW: Yes! She finally got it right!
Sheena: If he did, he would make lifetime supplies of Lloyd plushies and annoy the hell out of everyone! Muahahaha! (runs away)
RW: Hey! Come back here!
RW: ...
Sheena: Welcome back, dude. You're kinda late.
RW: Sorry, writer's block.
Sheena: "Writer's block?" Is that what they call it now?
RW: (sarcastic) Yeah!
Sheena: Humph.
RW: Lots of crazy things happened during that time, too.
Sheena: Like what?
RW: Christmas, New Years, oh, I got a PS2 version of ToS!
Sheena: PS2 version? Isn't that in Japanese?
RW: Yeah, you're name is Shihna.
Sheena: I know.
RW: It's slower but it has more stuff and it's cool!
Sheena: Was this a Christmas present?
RW: Heck no! I bought it myself.
Sheena: Really?
RW: Really, really!
Sheena: Humph, okay, what else you got?
RW: I got a Zelos plushie!
Sheena: Oh dear Goddess, no...
RW: See? Look when you touch his face he says,
Plushie Zelos: Not the face!
RW: When you touch his crotch, he says,
Plushie Zelos: Whoa!
RW: If you just touch him anywhere, he goes,
Plushie Zelos: Ai!
Sheena: Give me that! (Grabs the plushie and starts to poke it rapidly)
Plushie Zelos: Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Not the face!
The real Zelos: Hey! Who's poking me? It hurts!
(RW and Sheena exchanges glances and hides the plushie)
(There's an FAQ in about changes in ToS from the GameCube to the PS2, if you're curious, go ahead and take a look.)
Review responses:
Shadow Dark-Blade: I just updated and I probably won't be for a while again...
crystaltears: Is it really that funny?
mizu: The randomness continues...
jellybeanz225: He's simply the best...
sirhcnotilih: Talk about your fantasies somewhere else, there are other people who have those kinds of fantasies too, like me...
Cerse: Skeith will be introduced at the end of this chapter, just wait.
Lord X: Thus, I have updated.
Theora: You will read more! Dahahaha!
Sanosuke.Cigara: Exactly, Zelos will never learn to be like Lloyd. And that doesn't mean that I was sick!
southwestkaioshin: Yes...I will...
RPGs r the BEST: "Muse: A guiding spirit. A source of inspiration." Uh, you can say that Sheena inspired me to write this story!
8) Kratos Lesson Number One
(Imagine a cute little angry Kratos with a baton on his hand and pointing at a blackboard)
"Yes, it's me." Kratos hissed.
Lloyd paused for a while and looks at Zelos that looks like him and at his father whom, uh...
"Are you talking to me or are you talking to him?"
Kratos approaches Lloyd who has Zelos' body and pats his head, "I'm talking to you."
"Hm?" Zelos in Lloyd's body appears out of nowhere, causing the father and the son to separate, "How can you tell the difference?"
He created a sophisticated pondering gesture, "How does the phrase go? 'I can see it in your eyes.'"
Zelos looks at Lloyd who dumbfoundedly looks back at him, "Oh, I see."
"See? See what?" Lloyd said.
He points to Lloyd's eye sets, causing him to cross-eye.
"...I still don't get it."
"Look, your-"
"Leave him alone," Kratos says to the brown haired boy who acts like Zelos, "let his brain go through first."
"Hey! Don't make fun of me!"
"I'm not. You still need to learn, Lloyd, and this is not a great place to stay, let's go to my crib." Kratos said.
"'Crib?'" Said both of them. "Doesn't that sound a little..."
"Don't ask." Kratos walks past Lloyd and Zelos without saying "Follow me" or "This way." Lloyd had no idea where this is leading to but what the heck? It's his dad! So he follows him. Zelos didn't question anything, too so he trails along.
"Uh...da- Kra-" Lloyd begins to say. Geez, I don't know what to call him anymore!
"Yes, Lloyd." The reddish brown haired man said to the body of the Tethe'alla Chosen.
"Uh, where is this place?"
"Stand over there."
Kratos points to a wall that had graffiti on it. It said, "KARMA." There was also some scribbles below it, it said, "Lubetiveane ze efial."
"What's this? Jibberish?" Zelos pointed.
"What's geeburish?" Lloyd asked.
Kratos walks towards the wall and waves his arms at the word "KARMA" and said some "Jibberish." (Geez, even I don't know how to spell it.) The walls starts to shake and felt like it was going to fall on them. So what would you do if that we're to happen to you?
"AHHH!" Yes, you're correct.
But the walls starts to split and forms an opening inside, the words from the wall we're gone and the shaking stopped.
"Let's go." Kratos breathed as he walks inside.
As soon as Lloyd and Zelos entered the wall, the wall immediately closed from behind, leaving the area pitch black.
"Kratos, where are you?"
"I'm over here."
"Where's 'here'?"
A ball of fire surrounds Kratos and soon the area, "Here."
"Whoa!" The area that they thought was a scary lair was just a simple room with all the necessities. The wall that they thought was a brick wall, door-thing was just a simple wooden door. To the left was a bookshelf full of...nothing. Except for one book which was open. The book had a picture of a warrior fighting a dragon. To the right was a bed, unmade. The blanket was on the floor and the place where the blanket should be was full of empty food cans. Straight ahead was an armory where Kratos keeps his weapons, it seems to be the nicest place in the room. To where Kratos was standing was a cell door of some sort leading to somewhere and it was made of silver. The floor was full of scraps and debris from something.
"... ...Nice place." Zelos remarked.
"Glad you noticed," Kratos shot back. "because it's not my room."
"...It...isn't?" Lloyd asked.
"This," he opened the cell door, "is my room."
The eerie sound of the cell door brought a spine chill on both Lloyd and Zelos. As they approached with caution, they realized that they didn't need to do that in the first place.
"This, is your room?"
The room was much bigger than it was and it was ridiculously nice. Almost everything in sight was silver, even the bed was silvery gray. One side of the room was stacks of these unfamiliar boxes that displays images from inside. The boxes, too, was made of silver. Kratos opens his wardrobe and out came a row of his copyright clothing and his Judgement clothing as well. He takes out his huge, dark robe and throws it inside. Then the wardrobe door automatically closes.
"... ...Nice place." Lloyd remarked.
"Make yourselves at home, I will prepare dinner." Kratos enters one of the silvery doors, leaving Lloyd and Zelos utterly amazed and confused.
"Okay, sooooo why are we here?" Zelos spat.
"I dunno, but this is sure is one hell of a place!"
"Man, this place is so shiny, I'm afraid to touch anything!" Zelos sees Lloyd playing around with a lamp. "I...never mind."
Five minutes later.
"Hey, what's this?" Lloyd asked.
"Why are you asking me? This isn't my room."
"I know that, but look at this."
Zelos looks to what Lloyd was holding.
"Hey, where did you get that?"
"I saw it beside those boxes over there." Lloyd points to those silvery boxes that displays images.
"Look, check this out." Zelos points to the screen of one of the silvery boxes and sees a black and white screen of them looking at something. Zelos moves his arm and the screen shows Lloyd's body moving his arm at the same time. "Neat, even I'm amazed by technology of tomorrow!"
Lloyd looks around to where the source of all those images are coming from, like a camera or something. But since Lloyd came from a "poor" village, (Lloyd: Don't call me poor!) he doesn't know what a "camera" is. But as he looked around, he also saw not only Zelos that has his body, but the red-haired man with an apron. "Argh! Kratos? Is that you in that apron?"
"Never seen your father in an apron before?"
"I...no."
"Dinner's ready, stand still." As soon as Kratos said "still," the room began to shift around and everything from the room moved to the side, leaving alot of space in the middle. Then two chairs sprouted out from the spots Lloyd and Zelos were standing on and they surpisingly sat down. The center of the silvery floor magically turns into a dining table with all that nice decorations. (Wanna go out to dinner, Sheena?) During all of that, Kratos elegantly puts down the main course, roasted chicken and the little appitizers.
"Dig in." Kratos says in a monotone voice.
All this funky transformations and contraptions just made them speechless and just plain surprised. So they did nothing.
"Eat!" he yelled.
They both reacted by taking a leg from the chicken. Then they did nothing again.
Kratos sighed. "Call me when you're done." He walks away and enters a door from the side.
"...Are you hungry, Zelos?"
"...Yeah."
"...I'm hungry, too."
"...So we should eat."
"...We should."
"...But how come we can't?"
"...I dunno."
They stood there in silence.
"Let's eat!" Lloyd and Zelos digs in like they normally do and they managed to eat all of the food there, leaving nothing on the plate except for the bones from the chicken. As soon as Lloyd took the final bite, Kratos walked out of the door he was in.
"You're done. Follow me." Kratos goes back to the door.
Lloyd and Zelos stopped what they were doing and they exchanged glances for a moment...
"Can I get a toothpick?"
Lloyd and Zelos enters the silvery door that Kratos came in to and everything was pitch black. The only thing that was lit up was a spot where Kratos was seen. Beside Kratos was a table with three chairs.
"Sit."
And so they did.
And so they sat in silence.
And so Lloyd broke the silence.
"What's this about?"
Kratos gave a disappointing sigh, "You're the same as ever, Lloyd." He stood up and paced around the table, thinking about what he should say or do. Then he looked at Zelos who had Lloyd's body.
"...What?"
"Hold this sword." Kratos gives Zelos a simple iron sword and tells him to swing it like he normally would.
"...Uh, okay?" When Zelos swung the sword, he did one of those fancy sword attacks from the game. Can you imagine Lloyd fighting like Zelos?
"Here Lloyd," Kratos gives Lloyd an another simple iron sword. "use it."
Lloyd takes the sword from him and frowns, "Can I get another one?"
"No. Try fighting him using only one sword."
"That's not fair! I'm handicapped! I'm powerless without two swords!"
But Kratos ignored him and sat down. The whole room finally lits up revealing some kind of training place or something.
"I guess he wants us to spar." Zelos said.
"I'm gonna lose! This isn't fair!"
"Quit yer bitchin' man and cross swords already!" Zelos charged towards Lloyd attempts to attack.
Lloyd's used to fighting with two swords, so fighting with only one just makes him half of what he really is. That's what he thinks.
Because when Lloyd swung at Zelos, he swung that sword so fast that no one saw that he actually did.
"Whoa!" Zelos gets hit by the blow and falls back.
"Hey! Quit fooling around! You just did that on purpose because I'm handicapped!" Lloyd whined.
"...Lloyd, that was you?"
"Don't act dumb! I-"
"Lloyd, here." Kratos interuppted by giving Lloyd another iron sword.
"Two swords! Alright! Let's fight!"
Zelos sprung back and charged toward Lloyd again.
Only this time when Lloyd swung his swords,
Zelos dodged them.
Both of them.
"Hey! Wha-" Lloyd sensed Zelos behind and attempted to swing at him.
But he grabbed his arm before it landed.
Lloyd tried the other sword.
Zelos grabbed the other arm, too.
"Hey! What's going on here?"
"Just as I expected." Kratos said then he approaches Lloyd and took a sword away from him.
"No! Don't take it!"
Kratos gives the sword to Zelos, allowing him to fight with two swords.
"Wow, I'm not used to fighting with two swords."
"Give me back that sword!" Lloyd attempts to thrust at Zelos, but Zelos quickly dodged it.
"No way." (LOL)
"Why I outta...!" He charges at Zelos and attacks.
Five minutes of sparring, no one landed a single blow, nor tried to stop. Kratos simply enjoyed this, so he smiled. "That's enough."
Lloyd and Zelos looks at Kratos and breaks off.
"Because you've switched bodies, you have a change in personality, but it seems that the skills that come from appearence hasn't changed."
Lloyd and Zelos exchanged glances.
"That man claiming to be Yuan is a fake."
"WHAT?"
RW: Dahahaha! Another cliffhanger!
Sheena: Evil...just evil...
Skeith: Hi.
RW: Hey! Who are you?
Skeith: I'm that guy Cerse sent so I can handle the Lloyd problem.
Sheena: He's over there.
Lloyd: No way!
RW: Hey where's the music coming from?
Sheena: I dunno! But I feel like dancing!
Lloyd: No way!
RW: I can't dance! Oh hell wit it! (spontaneously breakdances)
Sheena: How'd you do that?
RW: I dunno! It's just happening!
Sheena: Ack! (spontaneously breakdances with RW)
Lloyd: No way!
Skeith: (staffwhacks Lloyd) Shut up.
Review!
Raine: Futile!
(When Zelos attacks in the Japanese version, he sounds like a cat.)