Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia. (Oh, yes! It's a classic!)

(Cool! It took me five days to post another chapter!Awesome!)

Review Responses:

Cerse Liminara: This time I should say a word to tell you to go to the end of the chapter instead of saying, "Go to the end of the chapter." ...Hmm, how about, "Pookie!"? Pookie!
DeadEdBoy: Yes, the story is getting freakier and freaker and thanks for the corrections, although I didn't need "Wing Pack," I think... One million gald for you!
treekicker: Too bad Lloyd and Zelos (and if you want, Kratos) don't know about everyone's disappearence. Thank you for attempting to correct me, widely appreciated, but all I needed was Gaorrachia and Rheaird. Another million gald for you!
Lady Duzie: Thank you for liking my fic. They should make the American PS2 version in two discs. The slower loading capabilities is making me mad!
Theblacklashwave: Uh, I'll pass on the death threat, thank you.
GirlWaterShaman: If I owned chibi ToS characters, I'd put them in a cage. (Heh heh heh...)
RPGs r the BEST: I live in Japan, so I bought it. (Haw haw...) As for the P.S. it's not a GC nor a PS2 it's some kind of blue/white striped triangular sculpture of some sort, something you'd see in a museum...although I haven't seen anything like it...
Rayestar Ikina: I'm not good at Japanese, either. But I took it at high school as a two-year language requirement... It seems that you were right and wrong about the "Sakerou" thing. Besides, he isn't saying, "Sakerou." (You were wrong about that one, I haven't came across a word like that! Unless there were subtitles...) He's saying, "Yaraseruka!" which is also a battle quote! (You were right on that one. Same as in sounds the same. "SAseruka!" "YARAseruka!") He says this during battle if he's set on "Auto" and he's witnessing an enemy casting magic. And in the American version it means, "Not a chance!" which is basically what it means in Japanese, too. And since you like this story so much I'll might as well give you a million gald!

12) Kratos Lesson Number Three

(Now the chibi Kratos is sitting down on a desk drawing pictures and not paying attention to the class!)

"Tell me the first thing you'd say if I say...women?"

"Females."

"Okay, what about...love?"

"Cute."

"How about...Colette?"

"What?"

"Sheena."

"Wait, what did you sa-"

"Raine."

"I didn't hear the previous-"

"Sex."

"Stop it!"

"Ass."

"Hey!"

"Okay, that's a wrap."

"I didn't even hear the one way before that!"

"C'mon, Lloyd. If we wanna be like each other, we gotta think like each other."

"I can't think like you, It's too quick, and I'm not quick."

"Oh, shut up, the only thing quick about you is your swordplay."

"Is that an insult?"

"Ho ho hell yeah it is!"

"Okay, that's enough." Kratos interrupts and appears with some wires and two remote controls. "Now I'm going to test your honesty. Put these on your chest and your arms."

Kratos gives Lloyd, in Zelos' body, and Zelos, in Lloyd's body, five wires with a padded suction pad at the end of each wire. They went ahead and hooked it in the five specific areas Kratos pointed out. (I got this part from "The Simpsons.")

"Here," Kratos hands both of them a remote control. "there are three buttons. The red points out a lie, a green points out a truth, and the yellow points out a maybe. You can tell anything about yourself and see if it's true. You may begin."

Bzzt!

"Ow!" Zelos yelled, "Don't do it yet!"

"Sorry! I was just testing it out!"

"Oh, you were testing, huh? I'll show you a test!" Zelos rapidly presses the red button.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Is that a challenge? Take this!" Lloyd, too, rapidly presses the red button.

Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt!

"Ow!"

"Ow!"

"Ow!"

"Ow!"

"Ow!"

"Ow!"

"Ow!"

"Ow!"

"Stop it, you two!" Kratos scolded, "This is not playtime! I didn't just put this out for your amusement, start talking! Now!"

Bzzt!

"Ow! Okay! Stop! Stop! Let's get this over with!" Zelos yelled.

"Fine. You go first."

"On second thought, ladies first."

Bzzt!

"Ow! Hey! That's harassment!" Lloyd yelled.

"I don't harass, liar!"

Bzzt!

"Ow! Okay! Okay! Why do I use two swords?"

"Because one is the power of 100 and having two is the power of 200."

Kratos shook his head, telling Lloyd not to press the red button.

"Fine, correct." He pressed the green button.

Bzzzzz!

"Whoa, that feels nice." Zelos said. "Press it again."

"No."

"Do it before I press the red button!"

"Kratos is behind you."

"Shut up! I'll press it just to make you mad!" Before Zelos attempted to press the red button, Kratos' hand swifts through Zelos' arm and grabs it.

"No."

"Uh..." Zelos created an idiotic grin, "Heh heh heh..."

"Continue." Kratos releases his arm.

"Okay, I'm next. Do you like Seles, my half-sister?"

"Uh, well, she's kinda cute-"

Bzzt!

"Ow!"

"You should know that I hate my sister, regardless on what she does."

"What?"

"And since you're still an oblivious bastard, I'll have to buzz you again."

Bzzt!

"Ow! Hey! That's not fair!"

"And what are you going to do about it?"

Bzzt!

"Ow! Oh, I'll show you!"

"Ahem!" Kratos growled.

"Grrr...you're up."

"Okay, uh, let's see here...where to begin with..."

Bzzt!

"Ow!"

"You take too long! That's so not me!" Zelos said.

"I don't know what to say!"

Bzzt!

"Ow!"

"C'mon, I can press this all I want just because what you're displaying is just a big lie to me."

"Don't buzz him anymore for that. We know that already." Kratos said.

"Fine then."

After about 10 minutes, Lloyd knew alot about Zelos than Zelos knew about Lloyd. Mainly because Zelos blabbered alot of things, leaving Lloyd confused and getting buzzed for it.

"I can't feel my hands anymore! I can't even press the buttons!" Lloyd whined as he tried to press the red button only to do a weak tap to it.

"Ha ha, this is fun! Tell me more stupid stuff about you!" Zelos laughed.

"That's not funny! I can't even use my hands anymore!"

"Okay, that's enough." Kratos said taking the remote control from the pair.

"Aw, man, could we just do this a little longer?" Zelos whined.

"No, we have to do other things, come." Kratos walks away leaving Lloyd and Zelos alone in the training room.

"Are you going to be okay, Lloyd?"

"Shut up, just shut up."

Not only was his hands paralyzed from the frequent shocking, his legs couldn't work, too. As soon as he stood, he just fell down flat on the ground.

"Mmmelp mmmme..."

Zelos shrugged like it couldn't be helped and carried his body using the strength of his counterpart out of the room.

"Seriously, Lloyd are you okay? Think I may have shocked you too much."

"Are you just now realizing that?" Lloyd said as he's being carried from his own body.

"Don't push it, I'll drop you."

Zelos carries Lloyd to the main bedroom where Kratos was nowhere to be seen.

"Kratos! Where are ya?" Zelos yelled.

"Over here." He was hiding behind the silver boxes and pressing a whole bunch of small buttons on a long pad. Everytime he pressed a different button, different images from various screens of the silver boxes appeared revealing unfamiliar people. "I'm doing a search so I can locate the rest of the group, as in them." Kratos presses a button and six silver boxes displayed each of the ToS characters.

Lloyd and Zelos finally realized what the "rest of the group" was.

"I want you to meet up with them and the rest will be taken care of."

"What do you mean?" Lloyd said, still being carried by Zelos.

"I'll put up signs telling you what I want you to do. Do it and come back to the Meltokio slums when you're done."

"What if we...Zelos, put me down!"

Zelos lets go, making Lloyd fall flat on the floor. Seems that he can move his legs again.

"What if we can't see it?"

"Don't worry. You'll know." Kratos pushes some more buttons and starts to look bewildered. "Hmm, that's odd."

"What's odd?"

"I can't track down the rest of the group. Normally that doesn't happen unless you're...Oh, no."

"What?"

"Change of plans. Come quickly." Kratos quickly walks away and goes to a different silver door that Lloyd and Zelos never been to yet.

They both shrugged and followed, until Lloyd tripped.

"Whoa!"

He landed on a silver carpet that, for some reason, started to levitate, taking him, too.

"Hey! That carpet can fly!" Zelos pointed out.

"Whoa! I'm gonna fall! Yikes!" The carpet started to move up and down, like it was shaking Lloyd off. Well, it succeeded. As soon as it did, it went back to its original position.

Lloyd just remains motionless on the ground.

"C'mon, get up, we gotta follow Kratos." Zelos said.

"I'm coming..."

Zelos helps Lloyd up and goes to the door that Kratos entered. They went inside to come across yet another dark room that would eventually light up to something not interesting.

The lights came on and a whole bunch of awesome technology surrounded Lloyd and Zelos. Okay, so it's interesting.

"Wow! Look at all of the machines!" Zelos pointed out.

"Hey! What does this button do?" Lloyd said being as curious as he is.

"Don't touch it," Kratos appears out of nowhere, "It'll self-destruct the area."

"Oh,"

"Come this way." Kratos walks to a large path around the machines and stops at two long capsules that connect each other. They both followed and stares at the capsules.

"Wow! That's big!" Lloyd pointed out.

"This is the Warning Associate Radioactive Portal, it'll transport you to anywhere in the two worlds." Kratos explained.

"The W...what?"

"Or in the short, the W.A.R.P."

"'Warp'?"

"Correct, I want you to stand in one of those capsules, I'll transport you to the imposter Yuan."

"Huh? Why?" Zelos asked.

"He kidnapped them."

"He WHAT?"

"I'm sorry, but have to cut this training short. I want you to rescue them."

"Colette and the others?" Lloyd ensured.

"Yes."

"Sounds like old times heh, buddy?" Zelos elbows Lloyd.

"I guess so."

"Enter the capsules now and remember what I taught you. Good luck."

"Okay then, ready to save our friends?" Zelos exclaimed.

"Yeah! Let's go!"

Lloyd and Zelos enters the capsules and a transparent window seals the opening of the mechanism. Kratos steps back and bids farewell to them, like they're never coming back...

"Initiating transportation. Destination: Derris-Kharlan."

"Derris-Kharlan?" Lloyd yelled. "Why are we going-"

"All systems go. Estimated time to destination: Thirty seconds."

"Hey, Zelos? Can you hear me?"

"What?"

"Why are we going to Derris-Kharlan?"

"I dunno! But that's where the fake Yuan is I guess!"

"Begin warp in three...two...one..."

Being inside the capsule was like going on a freefall in a rollercoaster ride. The capsule felt like it was going so fast that both Lloyd and Zelos' stomachs rolled.

"Ahhh!"

"It's too fast!"

"Initiating search mode. Locating a landing site for the W.A.R.P."

"Hey," Zelos remarked, "the woman sounds sexy."

"Target found. Estimated to land in fifteen seconds."

The two capsules then started to raise in temerature.

"Warning. Warning. Initiating system is overheated. Switching to manual mode."

"We're gonna die!" Lloyd yelled.

Then suddenly out of nowhere a steering wheel of some sort and some buttons appreared in front of the oblivious Lloyd and Zelos.

"Do you know how to drive this thing?" Lloyd asked.

"Why are you asking me? I don't know!"

"Manual mode initated. Drive the W.A.R.P. with the steering wheel."

"Thanks, hunny!" Zelos grabs the wheel and accidentally takes a sharp right turn, causing the whole capsule to turn vertically.

"Zelos! Turn it back! Turn it back!"

"Landing site overshot. Find an alternate landing site."

"Zelos! Look what you've done!"

"Fine! If you're so banged up about it, you drive!" Zelos hands the steering wheel to Lloyd.

"I don't know how to drive this thing!"

"Caution. The W.A.R.P. is running out of fuel. Find a landing site immediately."

"How do you stop this thing?" Lloyd panicked.

"Start pressing buttons!" Zelos presses the first button he sees.

"Nihongo o hanasu." ("Speaking in Japanese.")

"What the f-"

"Chuui. Chuui. Ima de pattoiku o shite kudasai." ("Caution. Caution. Please quick jump now.")

"What the hell is this chick talking about?" Zelos yelled.

"We're gonna crash!" Lloyd points to what looks like the ground.

"Eep! Press some more buttons!"

Lloyd and Zelos frantically starts to press buttons but a whole bunch of stuff just popped out.

"Shitsurei shimasu. Kono battan wa dame desu." ("I'm sorry. This button does not work.")

"Aargh! Shut up, bitch! We're trying to get out of here!" Zelos cursed.

"Kiken desu. Kiken desu. Kiken desu. Kiken desu." ("Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger.")

"Aahhh!"

The capsule abruptly lands on a rough surface causing Lloyd and Zelos flying to the transparent window. Airbags popped out from behind, it was intended to stop them from hitting face first in the window. Its was...kinda late.

"Mamonaku Derisu Kaaraan desu. Waaningu Asoshietto Redioakuchibu Pootaru o tsukette arigatou gozaimasu! Ki o tsukete!" ("Well soon be arriving at Derris-Kharlan. Thank you for using Warning Associate Radioactive Portal! Have a nice day!")

Lloyd and Zelos looked at each other.

"That was a fun ride." Zelos blurted.

"Just shut up."

(The Image RW disappears)
Sheena: Hey! Where'd it go?
(Silence)
Sheena: Is anybody here?
(Silence)
Sheena: Where is everybody?
RW: Hey, Sheena!
Sheena: RW! (Slaps him) Where the hell have you been?
RW: Ow! You don't have to slap me!
Sheena: I was worried about you! You disappeared on me!
RW: I did?
Sheena: Yeah!
RW: I thought I told you I was going to my friends house for a week or two. I told Zelos to make sure.
Sheena: Apparently, he didn't.
RW: What? Ooo, that Zelos. Where is he?
Sheena: Uh...
RW: And where's Lloyd? I haven't heard anything annoying for such a long time.
Sheena: Uh...
RW: And what is that horrible music coming from?
Sheena: Uh...
Skeith: (appears) Hey, I thought Innis took care of you!
RW: Who me? Who the hell are you?
Skeith: Nice try you Innis-created bastard, disappear and forever begone!
RW: ...Okay, you're freaking me out.
Skeith: Oh, really? (Takes out a hammer and some nails) We'll see about that...
Sheena: This is the real RW, he just got back now!
Skeith: Aw, starting to get attached to the fake RW? Don't worry I'll fix things up. (Grabs RW)
RW: Hey! Unhand me! Let me go!
Sheena: Skeith! No! (Chases after them)

Review!

Kratos: Mudada! (Japanese translation: "It's not getting through me!")

(Zelos' wings are yellowish red if you fight him in the PS2 version.)