Chapter 2: Rock Hard Times

The good news was that the residential division of the Newport Group was doing better than it ever had before. This factor was unfortunately outweighed by the bad news that her life as she knew it was gone. The pictures from her desk were noticeably absent—Sandy holding a five-year-old Seth upside-down by the ankles, Ryan and Seth at the office Christmas party, her favorite picture ever of her and Seth when he was about ten. She had put them in a drawer and opened it to view them on occasion, but that was their only role. She didn't want people asking who the adorable upside-down boy was because she wouldn't know how to answer. She signed her name on a check and sat back, sighing. It was about nine-thirty, which would have been late for Old Kirsten, but for New, Workaholic, Husband-Avoidance Kirsten it was nothing. Julie Cooper was apparently unaware of this when she came creeping into the office, clutching a gift bag. Kirsten watched, amused, as Julie made her entrance backwards and carefully closed the door behind her.

"Julie?" Julie yelped and dropped the bag.

"Kirsten! What are you doing here?"

"I'm working," Kirsten gestured to the papers on her desk. "What's your excuse?"

"I was just...why are you here so late?"

"I have a lot to do," Kirsten lied.

"Oh. Sandy doesn't mind?" Kirsten smiled tightly and shrugged. Julie gave her an exaggerated wink. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?"

"So they say," she replied unenthusiastically, though she had to hand it to Julie. She was the only person who didn't tiptoe around Kirsten these days. She still made her weird sex jokes and used words like "terriff!" (most certainly with an exclamation mark). While these were not redeeming qualities, they relaxed Kirsten when everyone else around her avoided eye contact. "What's in the bag?" She couldn't help but be curious. Julie's gifts were always interesting.

"Oh! Well, it was supposed to be a surprise. I had this whole thing planned out. But then you ruined it, so I guess..." Julie handed over the bag.

"Thanks. It's heavy."

"I hope nothing broke," Julie remarked, anxiously trying to peer past the tissue paper.

"It's not my birthday," Kirsten said warily.

"I know!"

"What's the occasion?" she asked, studying the bag.

"Well, I noticed that you didn't have any pictures up in your office. And at first I thought maybe you were trying to...have a little fun. Sexy, single businesswoman thing, maybe have a fling or two with one of those Chicago guys? But then I saw that you still have your wedding ring, and I guess it's possible that you're just ignorant in the field of infidelity...but you're really not ignorant about anything, so I decided that it was time to do sprucing!" Kirsten stared at her blankly. "You're not trying to hook up with Chicago guys, are you?"

"No."

"On with the sprucing, then!"

"And whatever is in this bag...will spruce," Kirsten processed skeptically.

"If you're not going to open it, I will!" Julie grabbed the bag and removed a succession of flat wrapped rectangles. She pulled the paper off the first one and held it up proudly. "Wedding pictures!" Kirsten's heartbeat quickened at the sight of a photo of Ryan and Seth in their groomsmen tuxes.

"Oh..."

"Now, I know it's a little...you know, whatever, but..." Julie sat down and folded her hands, seeming to soften. "You've gotta miss seeing them. If you don't want them up we can just—,"

"No, Julie, it's...it's really nice. Thanks."

"We're not done! You look really hot in this one, if I do say so myself. If my husband weren't your father I would be totally jealous." Kirsten held onto the picture of her with her father, smiling slightly at Julie's candor. "The family," Julie continued, handing over a picture of Kirsten, Sandy, Seth, and Ryan. "That little juvenile delinquent cleans up nicely for someone from Chino." Kirsten rolled her eyes and then studied the photo. She was leaning slightly against Seth and holding hands with Sandy, who had his arm casually around Ryan's shoulder. She smiled. "You guys look so perfect it's sickening," Julie commented.

"Thank you. I think."

"One more! This is, like, the perfect picture. I don't know who took it, but they should get promoted. Where they were when Cal and I were dancing, I'd like to know." Kirsten recognized the connection that she and Sandy were making in the photo; she was all too familiar with the knowing smile she was giving him. His arms were around her waist and she remembered, now, feeling like they were the only people there. She missed this more than she thought was physically possible.

"Thanks, Julie, it's...I don't know what to say."

"Say that you feel like going out and getting drunk with me!" Kirsten smirked and shook her head.

"Not tonight."

"Kiki! You need to get out and live a little!"

"I was hoping I could make it through my life without someone ever telling me to 'live a little'."

"It's true! You've been working 24/7 and you have completely discontinued the color green from your wardrobe!"

"Don't say '24/7'."

"Kirsten! This is a serious issue. Green is a happy color! It makes you happy! Green is the new pink! And I haven't seen it on you in months!"

"I wear green," she said defensively.

"No, Kiki, you don't," Julie replied with more gravity than the subject deserved. "He's a teenage boy. They all think that they have these big, serious lives and they have to do things like this to create drama so they seem more important."

"He's been gone for three months," Kirsten said quietly.

"And he'll be back in time for homecoming! Just come and have a few drinks with me! This is not the end of the world."

"I have to go," Kirsten said, standing up and getting her purse. "Thanks for the pictures, Julie. Have a good night." She left the well-intentioned woman standing in her darkened office and locked herself in her car and cried. Just a little bit, because she missed the marriage that she saw in that picture. And a little more because Ryan did clean up nicely. And then she cried a lot, because she knew that this was no teenage rebellion and Seth had never been one for school functions.

They told me that I couldn't come back here again
Took me for some kind of fool
Said I was doing things that never should be done
But I don't care about their rules

As if I cared about the little minds
In the little heads of the herd
There's nothing you could dream
Would be more absurd

And everybody knows these are rock hard times
I gotta make it through
These are rock hard times

I don't know what it is they're trying to do to me
Make me into some sick joke
But no one's laughing
And least of all not me
It's hard to laugh as you choke

Hollywood lies piled up to the sky
Floating your way soon
Hope you like the rotten stench of doom

And everybody knows these are rock hard times
I gotta make it through
These are rock hard times

I don't know what it is they think I'm gonna try
They don't know what they need to fear
The surest sign that the end is coming soon
Is right there in the bathroom mirror

And everybody knows these are rock hard times
I gotta make it through
These are rock hard times
These are rock hard times

--The Eels, "Rock Hard Times"

Okay, so I know this song is kind of lame and kind of irrelevant...but if you've heard it, you know that it's really quite a sad song and I thought it to be fitting. I don't know. I just love the Eels with a heated passion. So there you have it. Let me know your thoughts on the first 2 chapters. Don't hold back! There's more to come if you want it to come...;)

xoxo